I AM ANGRY!!!!! There, I said it and admitted it.
I'm angry at myself for taking my wife for granted. My actions made her feel unloved, unappreciated, unattractive and irrelevant. I'm angry at my poor communication skills. I have never been proficient at communicating my wants and needs and, combined with my wife's poor communication skills, created a recipe for my predicament. I'm angry at myself for deluding myself into believing that my previous pot smoking was not affecting my life, my relationships and my marriage (W doesn't know because she thought I quit prior to our M). It made me lazy and sapped my motivation to do anything new which made my W feel like she had to plan our activities. I wish I had a redo and I've been working on these things, but I still have more work to do.
I'm angry that it is so easy for people to get a divorce these days and I'm angry at the people who have supported my WW by telling her she needs to find her happiness, she deserves happiness and she is doing what is best for her. What about what is best for our D3 and family?
Lastly, I'm angry at my WW. I'm angry at her for not communicating her needs more clearly to me. Although she said she was dissatisfied with our sex life, she made it my responsibility to fix it (she believes it is the man's responsibility to initiate sex and from my POV, all affection). I'm angry that I feel that she didn't try to tell me in a different way that didn't feel like nagging. She has a bag of toys. I think I'd be pretty receptive but she thinks telling me is sufficient and women never I initiate. That would be initiating. I'm angry that she thinks I never listened to her. Although I could have done a better job, there are lots more incidents where I did listen compared to incidents that I appeared to ignore her. I'm also angry that I feel that she gave up on us too soon. I'm not ready to quit. I made a commitment to her in front of family, friends and God. Life is hard and happiness primarily comes from within. I hope that by posting this, I am able to let go of this anger and allow room for peace and love to envelope me and let that help me to proceed forward.
Vaya con dios.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2648870#Post2648870
One more thing, well maybe 2.
I'm angry with her for never communicating to me how she felt. She has made it perfectly clear to me now how she felt. Why couldn't and wouldn't she have done that previously. I know not to believe what she says, particularly since I would have the sadistic steak of a serial killer based on what she has said about how I made her feel. Her telling me how I made her feel would have gotten an immediate change from me. I feel so horrible thinking I could make anyone feel so bad about themselves.
I'm also angry about her passive aggressiveness. I just sent her a note thanking her for letting me put our D3 to sleep last night. She responded in a self righteous manner telling me that "it was the right thing to do" and that "despite what I think she is always looking out for her best interest first". Since then, she has sent 2 more texts telling me how much I am hurting my D3 because she doesn't see me as much and my refusal to tell my WW my schedule is the cause of my D3's pain. Mind you, I haven't changed my comings or goings except for 1 night a week to go to a Divorced and Separated group that meets at the church and, even then, I come home to see D3 prior to going. My schedule was never an issue previously. Grrr....
Serenity now, serenity now.... Lol.
Resentment....sadness....back to resentment...and then Anger
I hear ya. And you have every right to be Angry and glad you own up to your faults.
It's amazing to see how many in our situations have either H or W that use the blame game on their spouse and that it is all their fault.
What is a shame that many of us here are now at a point where we feel we can be a much better partner with improved awareness and communication skills or at least the effort to try BUT it's too late in some circumstances.
I too...am angry for many similar reasons but my door is shut so now I am just angry at how she is handling our divorce. She used the word Hate a few weeks ago and I am starting to feel that horrible feeling at times against her. It centers around our daughter and how she is using her as a "thing" in the D to negotiate rather than our daughter.
it's a phase so hope you anger turns into happiness in the near future or at least resolve
My WAW has said all of those things to me and I take ownership of many of them. But I am past the point of blaming only myself. Some of our behavior is condition by what we got from our spouse.
Happiness DOES come from within ones self. Finally, isn't it ones duty as a spouse to make yourself heard in whatever way necessary, instead of of just throwing up your hands and saying I'm done?
Wow, I could've written that anger post G8r almost word for word except I didn't smoke pot :-). Instead, my lack of motivation was putting all my energy into kids and not putting anything into the M.
So now you are db'ing to be a better you. You can only control yourself and your reactions to your WW. If you act on your anger, it will only undo all the progress you've made. And we all know what a roller coaster this is. You may feel horribly sad in 30 minutes instead of angry.
So, vent away. Why didn't our WAS give us the chance to be the best us before they bailed?! That's the million dollar question. I think many divorces could be avoided if only the LBS had an opportunity to address what was wrong. But, I hope it helps to know that people like Rich and I feel exactly the same. Keep on working on you and keep being the best dad you can be!
Thank you rich4j, daybyday, and broke. This whole thing is a process. I was feeling very sad and lonely last night and I was feeling the same way this morning which caused me to become a bit introspective this morning. The frequency of my WW pointed out that I'm angry has increased dramatically lately. Initially I attributed to her projecting her anger onto me and then telling me I'm angry. To some extent, I know this to be true. She wants me out of the house yesterday. I also hear the anger and contempt in the tone of her voice, I see it in her face and body language and I am starting to see it in her actions (such as tossing my clothes out of the dryer in a ball in the laundry basket while I still hang and fold her stuff if it's in the dryer and I need to use the dryer) so it was easy for me to point the finger and say all the tension in our house is originating from my WW and her anger. I didn't feel like I was angry with her because I wasn't showing (IMO) any anger, raising my voice, calling her names or making snide passive aggressive comments. However, my WW knows me better than anyone else, so I began to wonder if I'm angry and wasn't admitting it or maybe I just didn't want to be so angry with someone that I love. What if I really am angry and it shows in my face and posture? What if I am using a poor tone of voice that is somehow conveying to her that I'm angry? If so, then I am contributing to my own demise by giving her what she wants to support her decision to leave. I certainly can't control what she does, let alone what she feels, so that leaves me.
I decided this morning that regardless of whether or not I feel angrt, I don't want to convey that message to her (at least from my perspective). I also don't want to be cold towards her which I know I have been because I don't know how to be nice without being her friend and that is something I will not do. That is why, out of the blue, I decided to thank her for letting me put our D3 to sleep even though it was my WW's night. She responded with complaints and passive aggressive comments but I don't care. I did what I wanted to do and that was to be nice and to let go of some of my anger and maybe a little sadness (it's always been easier for me to feel and release anger rather than sadness).
We're still getting a D and I'm not happy about it but I need to let go of this anger without continuing to push her away. I t hi k I made a decent 1st step and I'm feeling good about that which has led me to be in a better mood today compared to yesterday.
Btw, I dropped the smoking like it was hot back in September and haven't looked back. Voy a ir con dios.
All of that is so positive, G8r! I dropped the anger almost 4 weeks ago and I know it has helped me (minus yesterday). It has also helped my kids move forward.
I worry about "being friends", too. It's a fine line to walk and since I let go of acting on my anger, the H definitely thinks we are friends. But, I got great advice on here and I'm following it. Vanilla helped me with creating boundaries and that's been very important.
Keep it up! Sounds like you are headed the right direction today!
I'm angry that it is so easy for people to get a divorce these days and I'm angry at the people who have supported my WW by telling her she needs to find her happiness, she deserves happiness and she is doing what is best for her. What about what is best for our D3 and family?
I could have written your post as well (except for the pot-smoking part). I feel almost exactly the same way as you. This Enablers part is particularly galling for me. There are some people WW got to first or was able to minimize her EA and direct all the blame on me. It was important for me to tell them the truth, that my wife's A is really the cause of all this misery.
It seems to me that treating your wife with compassion and loving kindness is the best path. You support her with love as she struggles with this situation. Any other path may bring negative emotions and outcomes. If she is angry offer validation. Enjoy each moment while you bring joy and beauty into you daughters life. Celebrate the present, that's all we have, peace G8r
Hi Mutatio. It's funny that you wrote what you wrote. I had been thinking along similar lines. It really doesn't matter (for the most part) what my WW does or says. I have loved her and I will continue to love her, just in a different way. I am thankful that she came into my life because I have grown as a result of knowing g her and, more importantly, she gave me a beautiful, precious and precocious D3. I wouldn't have D3 in my life otherwise so, although, I have been emotionally wounded, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I've been practicing being more grateful and thankful these past couple of days. Although I still have some sadness, I must say that this thankfulness has done wonders for me. It has made it so much easier to validate (and boy have I had to validate lately). I also think the validation has been less forced and more genuine. I don't really care if it works with my WW or not because it is helping me. It has been giving me a sense of calm because all I can control is me and do what makes me feel right. At the end of the day I am able to look in the mirror and admire what I see and that makes it easy for me to sleep. I hope my feelings of personal well being, despite the loss of my W and M, last and continue to grow.
This outlook has really helped today because my WW has had nothing positive, not even neutral, to say to me today. I cleaned up the yard this weekend while she was visiting her mother with D3 and she noticed it and made comments that I hadn't done it in years. Lol. I have always maintained a nice yard until this past fall when I was a bit depressed because of my sitch. Her comments didn't bother me. She asked if I had this Friday and April 1st off because D3 day care would be closed. I replied that I had to work Friday and I would check on the other day(turns out I don't work on the 1st). She then started to complain that she is the one who always has to worry and take care of these things. I ignored the passive aggressiveness (because I have watched D3 the last 2 times her school was closed), validated and let her know I had the 1st off. She ignored that I told her I had the day off and tried to manipulate my validation regarding being appreciated by telling me that I only appreciated her for materialistic gain (my summary of her words). Still didnt phase me. I replied that tulips she had bought me for Christmas a few years back were coming up (I was worried they might have been eaten because they are a little late this year) and thanked her for such a beautiful and thoughtful gift. She replied that she figures I will dig them up and take them with me when I move out when D is final. I just dropped the conversation at this point and I didn't feel bad at all which is so different than I would have felt a few days ago. Yay me. Self pat on the back. I really dig this outlook and the wonders it has do e for my emotional well being.
Haven't posted in a week. Last Friday WW was feeling ill and came to lie down on the couch as I was leaving for work. It looked like she had a bad headache so I poured her a cup of coffee, gave it to her and told her good bye as I left for work (she's usually still asleep when I leave for work). She later texted me, thanking me for my kindness saying it was unexpected. She felt better Friday evening and went to play trivia with our friends (I stayed home with D3). She initiated a conversation about our relationship when she returned and she started spewing and let me know all of my faults and why we could never R. I did my best validation work yet and eventually I ended the conversation by leaving to take our dog for a walk.
She also asked if she could take our D3 to see a ballet rendition of Sleeping Beauty. She gave me grief a week ago because I told her I needed time to think about it. I told her I didn't have a problem with them going to a 10am showing on Saturday. She came back a little while later and asked if I would like to go as well. I surprised her and myself by saying yes. So on Saturday my WW, D3 and I went to the ballet. I got bored by it but my D3 loved it. Things went ok. WW asked at ballet about filing taxes jointly. I told her I had planned on filing individual but married but I was open to the idea of filing jointly. We had lunch together when we returned home from the ballet.
Sunday and Monday she has continued to be nice and pleasant to me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't see the clouds parting and a path to R. I still see D in our future.
Some days I'm all for D and moving forward with my life and other days I'm all for R and moving forward with my life. I continue to pray and I continue trying to be grateful for the things that I do have (like D3). It doesn't remove the anger and sadness I have for my lost M, but it does soften the edges.
I've still been following many threads and hope to comment on them again soon. Vaya con dios.
Glad you're getting to that better place. All of our sitches will be sorted out and we will all be better people because of it with or without spouse. I want my WAW badly but I will have my own life to lead and if they cant see what we have put on the line to fixit, maybe they aren't worthy of our hard work.
It's amazing how similar many of our WWs and Sit are! It's also amazing how much support I gain from reading what the rest of you post. Thank you
Thank you daybyday. I agree. I think it really all depends on us. It seems most, if not all, on this board engage in self introspection. It's how we react to it and what we do with it. Some sitch are slower developing and call for more patience, others need to be addressed immediately.
My sitch is by no means over or completely better, but I'm slowly coming to terms that change is inevitable regardless of whether or not it is the change I desire. I still hope to R and I hope othsr continue seeking R or what they desire but I now realize that is unlikely, at least in the near future.
Here's hoping that everyone's sitch works out for them the way it is meant and that it is aligned with what they think they want.
Glad you posted G8r. I was thinking of you this morning however didn't have an opportunity to check in.
It sounds like your are in a good mind set. Happy to be civil, not expecting anything. Which is good if you truly believe you have no wxpectaions.
It does sound like you are doing well. Rember back to when you and I started here. We were both in similar places and panicking. Look at us now. Still living and getting better!
Stay strong buddy.
She also asked if she could take our D3 to see a ballet rendition of Sleeping Beauty. She gave me grief a week ago because I told her I needed time to think about it. I told her I didn't have a problem with them going to a 10am showing on Saturday.
Why does your W ask for your permission to take D3 anywhere?
Hi Sandi. Although we are doing in house separation when D is in the works, she jumped the gun and we split time with D3. I have Monday and Wednesday. She has Tuesday and Thursday. We alternate Friday and weekends. This was her idea to start prior to divorce. She asked because it was my weekend to have D3. Funny thing is that even though she wanted to start this arrangement, she has wanted to switch days 3 times already.
My sitch is by no means over or completely better, but I'm slowly coming to terms that change is inevitable regardless of whether or not it is the change I desire. I still hope to R and I hope othsr continue seeking R or what they desire but I now realize that is unlikely, at least in the near future.
G8r,
Glad you are checking in. Seems like you are feeling in a pretty good place. I'm happy for you! I also love what you wrote here. It really feels like detaching and having no expectations. I have my moments, but I look forward to feeling that way permanently. Keep it up!
Hi Tyler12 and broke. Thank you for your continued support. I appreciate it. I'm a bit better because the lows don't seem so low but I know I have more coming. Moving out when D is finalized for one. In the meantime, I'll do my best to be grateful and appreciative of my remaining time with WW and all my time with D3.
AAnother example of my growth, WW was complaining that the AC on 2nd floor wasn't working. I initially thought to myself, why is she telling me this? According to her I never do anything around the house. Let het fix it. Then I thought that I'm a fixer and one of the things she used to love about me and something I liked about myself (mainly because it's always gotten the attention of the ladies) is that I am capable of some home repair. Turns out that the batteries in the thermostat were dead and needed to be replaced. Easy fix and it provided me an opportunity to show off what she'll be missing when D is complete. om is computer guy in a different state so she would be in world of hurt and embarrassment calling HVAC guy to replace batteries in thermostat. I didn't get a thank you but wasn't bothered by it more than 2 minutes because I didn't expect one (wanted it but certainly didn't need it).
Long story short, I did something that made me feel good about myself and had an opportunity to show WW I'm a guy that only a fool would walk away from. I sure as heck won't be doing things like that after I move out (unless it had a direct adverse effect on D3, this wouldn't have because I don't really think it's hot enough to use AC any way).
Great for you G8r! I did something similar this weekend and while it helped WW out a small bit, I did it for me to show what she be missing. I also got to show off the 30 pounds I lost and how much better shape I am in.
The other theory I have is that it leaves a recent pleasant memory of me. So instead of all the negative that she has created there will be something positive about me she recalls.
AAnother example of my growth, WW was complaining that the AC on 2nd floor wasn't working. I initially thought to myself, why is she telling me this? According to her I never do anything around the house. Let het fix it. Then I thought that I'm a fixer and one of the things she used to love about me and something I liked about myself (mainly because it's always gotten the attention of the ladies) is that I am capable of some home repair. Turns out that the batteries in the thermostat were dead and needed to be replaced.
FWIW, and I don't know that
all M women are this way or not, but I grew up seeing the
man repairing or having things repaired. When I got M, that was the pattern we had in our home. It fell under the heading of the "man's work". So, if this has been the pattern in your home and MR, it is automatic thinking for her to report to the man whatever isn't working.
Now this is JMHO, if the man is
paying for that house, or if he is staying under the same roof with her, he can look like a jerk or be responsible for his own property. If he is going to receive a bill for having a professional to fix it.......it may serve him better to not leave it up to her to take care of the repair. Know what I mean?
The other side of that coin is if she is living in a separate house (and she is displaying in wayward behavior) and reports that something is not working, then he needs to tell her in so many words that he no longer is her handyman. Some wayward W's need that jolt of realization that he is no longer available to do those things, especially when she has betrayed him. It depends upon where they are in the journey. If she has stopped the wayward behavior and they are working toward a R, then the decision would be left to his own discretion. WW's can be manipulative, even in things such as getting the LBH to be her electrician, plumber, comp tech, etc.
See? Now, what's so complicated about a little question of repair or not repair? (jk)
HI Sandi,
We currently share the house but I can't afford it without her help. On the other hand, she can run to her mother for financial help so she will have the house when D goes through. I'm here for now and doing things like that were one of the things she used to find attractive in me. Since I didn't feel the need to have the AC running and it wasn't to the detriment of D3, I doubt I would have fixed the problem if I wasn't living here and I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to do so. Viewed it more as an opportunity th show her what she would be missing in future plus it took all of 2 minutes to fix. Didn't get a thank you and didn't expect one.
Interestingly, she accused me of removing the batteries to make it not work again. Lol. Crazy woman. She just didn't set thermostat correctly. This I did expect from her. Funny, because 4 or 5 months ago, I would have expected the opposite.
Went to get a burger and some beer at a pub after going to divorce and separated support group. There was a woman there desperate to get into some guys pants. Could have been mine but I wasn't interested. She gave me a rose. I left it on kitchen counter for WW to see. Her om isn't the only person who doesn't care if someone is wearing a wedding ring. Although I never even remotely considered engaging this woman, it did feel nice to receive some attention.
Also, WW has let me know 3 times that she blew hot water heater fuse and I need to flip the circuit if I want a hot shower tomorrow. I guess I'll be taking a cold shower because I'm not going to provide her with hot water and I won't turn it on for myself only to shut it back off after my shower. Talk about entitled and lazy. How hard is it to walk into basement (a nice one mind you, not some dank cellar) and flip a switch?
She's definitely got some changing to do if she ever decides she made a mistake. I'm no longer sure I want her back these days. Some days yes, some days no and some days I'm on the fence. Today the grass was looking greener elsewhere but we'll see what tomorrow holds.
Well, I guess I'm not quite as detached as I would like to think. I was Feely rather down this past weekend while WW and D3 were visiting FIL. That turned to agitation when WW asked if I would bathe D3 on Sunday (her day) because she was not feeling well. She was obviously sick. I declined so she told D3 that I didn't want to give her a bath which caused D3 to cry. I immediately switched course and gave her a bath. Talk about guilt.
Fast forward to yesterday. She was extremely nice and even asked my opinion on problem she was having at work (that hasn't happened in a while ). I guess she sensed she was being nice and withdrew. As I was taking D3 to bed a bit later, she asked me why I can't ever smile when I'm around her. Not true. I smile plenty for D3, just not WW. It almost feels forced when I smile at WW. I ignored and said goodnight to WW. About an hour later, WW started complaining because I hadn't communicated with her whether we were filing joint or separate taxes. I said I didnt care, she needed to let me know what she wanted to do (I missed an opportunity to lead by deciding what I was going to do a D let her follow). Anyway she got aggravated and started her spewing. I shouldn't be bothered by it but I have been. Grrrrr.
On a good note, I wanted to get the last word in last night but bit my tongue. She texted this morning to correct my opinion and I wanted to respond but I didn't. Baby steps.
G8r it is the little triumphs that lead to the large victories. I tell my wrestlers learn to score the little points and you will win, don't worry about the big point moves cause they are too risky. Consider your baby steps a progression forward. If you want a real win consider you bit your tongue with WW this time could you do the same thing in the future, could you do the same thing with another person?
As I think I am beginning to accept the end of my marriage, I am realizing this work is to make me a better person. Yes, I have acknowledged that from the beginning, but am now finally realizing what that means. It means I am not just going to do these things/techniques with my wife, I am not just going to practice these things on other people so when the time came I could use them on my wife, but this is who I am becoming. I complained on a thread earlier that I lack empathy for others. That is an issue of mine, well today I caught myself actually listening to my paralegal's personal/home problem, even better I realized I was validating her feelings. I don't know if it mattered to her but I was doing it all on autopilot, not thinking wow here is an opportunity to do xyz, but just doing it.
Disturbingly, I also find myself less angry and less sad. I am just vacant and hollow, that is better than emotional all the time. I think that is progression! I think that is the rope slipping through my hands. Even if just a bit.
So take the little things you are learning and don't just apply them, make them a part of you.
All you can do is make life as good as you can. Improve your short comings, be compassionate to your wife as she struggles and love and teach your children. Be the best dad and husband you can be. This is the way
Thank you TimR and Mutatio.
I hear what you're saying TimR. I try to enjoy the small victories as much as ppossible. I now believe that all the introspection and self reflection are for the benefit of my D3 (after all she will be a woman one day and a teenage girl before that, Lol). It also will benefit me in my next relationship. However, I must say that I hope you will be careful. You mentioned becoming vacant and hollow. That helps in the short term but it's no way to live long term. I have ignored my emotions for far too long thinking that was the way to go but I now see there is much to life that I was missing by not allowing myself to feel emotions. Don't let that become you. I am glad to hear that your changes s3em to be on auto pilot now. Although I think I would prefer to hear automatic rather than auto pilot. I think auto pilot played a role in my presence hear.
Good advice Mutatio. I am doing my best to show my WW love and compassion while not expecting any reciprocation and not letting her walk all over me. It is tough to do and it is a very fine line. Some days I see it better than others. Thank you for the encouragement.
Need advice / help. I have practiced validated my WW and it is becoming more natural but something she said has me thinking.
She says that I am nice and sweet when I validate via text or FB IM but that she feels I'm patronizing when I do it in person. I'm wondering if something about my facial expressions, tone of voice or body posture is causing her to feel this way or if it's simply my presence that bugs her and causes her to react so differently to similar messages presented in different formats.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? I don't know how to respond.
Probably b/c it does not feel natural for you, she reads the awkwardness as not being genuine. Just continue to practice and it will start to feel easier.
Thank you for the encouragement Sandi2. You're right. Although it feels good to validate, it does NOT come naturally. I have always been a self sufficient person and I often make the mistake that others are the same. Experience has shown this is not true but I can't seem to shake that idea.
Have you tried consciously practicing validation in less important circumstances and monitored reactions? Maybe with other family members, colleagues and friends?
Validating is a skill and learning improves skills. Perhaps you could seek out an opportunity to validate someone around you every single day until it feels much more natural. That would be lovely for those around you of course, and hopefully nice for you too!
Hi Sotto. I see your point. I practice daily with D3. It comes much more naturally when I validate her feelings. I feel more engaged when I validate her feelings. Sometimes I am engaged when I validate the feelings of my WW. Other times, I'm going through the motions as I bite my tongue. I suspect that has something to do with it but she says the same thing regardless of whether I'm engaged or not. That is why I wonder if it's one of those time that I shouldn't believe what she says. I know there is a kernel of truth there so I do have some work to do but the dichotomy caught my attention as well as the lack of dichotomy as to whether or not I'm engaged or not when validating her directly.
I'll definitely look for other opportunities outside of D3 to validate others. Thank you.
Need ideas / help. My WW's step dad fell and broke his hip. I thought I was showing WW compassion by listening to her and acknowledging her worry / concern. A little while later my WW texted me to say she was sorry she opened up to me since I don't want to be her friend. I ignored that part and validated some more but it feels like I'm missing an opportunity to soften her heart a bit. Any suggestions or advice? Am I fooling myself and becoming a door mat if I allow myself to give emotional support to her if she ask? Part of me wants to tell her to go talk to the om but that doesn't resemble a light house to me. Thank you.
G8r, I think it would be great if you let her know that you will be there if she needs to talk. Maybe say something about we have been together for 10 years no matter what happens with us, I certainly care for your father and saddened to hear about his health. If you need a shoulder to lean on I am hear. If she chooses to talk to you about it then validate, validate, validate!!! But you cannot pressure her to talk to you. That has to be her decision.
As far as her speaking with you and then doing a 180, that the WW. Might have scared herself realizing how much she opened up to you, IDK. But we all know how fickle a species the WW is. Once this way, once that way!
Best of luck to you buddy. Life's a garden, dig it!
Thank you for the encouragement TimR. I needed it. I'll try to validate if the opportunity presents itself.
Haven't been on much as nothing much has changed. Good days and bad days. Days where I want to R and others where I'm ready for D. I've noticed that WW is copying things I do with D3. If I take her to the playground, she does a day or later. I'm not a baker but I started throwing pre made cookies in oven with D3 help and now WW is baking cookies with her. I was counting to 5 when D3 brushes different sections of her teeth and now WW does that as well.
I'm starting to work more on myself. For example, I have been finding new places to walk the dog with D3 or to go walking myself. I actually wwalked about half a marathon this past
weekend. Dog was tired after that. Also thinking I might you tube guitar lessons and try to teach myself to play.
Hope all goes as well as possible for everybody. Vaya con dios.
G8r Wow you are really doing well. Congrats on the progress in the GAL department. I have no clue what to say about WW copying your activities except that she probably does not want to be out shined. Funny how they will make everything about them!! The funny thing I have been thinking about lately is maybe this is not a change in personality but a personality trait and this is how relationships end with this personality type. You know like a narcissist. My IC told me to read articles about a narcissistic wound. I asked my IC (who had me and WW in MC together before I started seeing him individually) if his diagnosis of her would be a narcissist and he smiled and said he did not meet with her enough to diagnose her but could see it in her.