Kate Winslet on divorce - DivorceBusting.com

Yesterday, the actress Kate Winslet posted on her Facebook page a photo and a little note about how her two divorces has benefited her children...

"Kate Winslet

The media keeps asking me �Kate, you�ve been divorced twice. Are you not scared that those bad experiences are going to negatively impact your children?� People go, 'Oh, my God! Those poor children! They must have gone through so much,�

I just have one thing to say to all of them.My divorces have actually taught my children about struggle.They�ve always been with me. They don�t go from pillar to post; they�re not flown here and there with nannies.That�s never happened. My children live with me; that is it.

I would honestly say that I wouldn�t change a thing. Even all the bad bits. They all matter, because those things shape who you are. Life is just too short to be spending time focusing on useless things. I want to keep my health and my sanity and be well-fed and happy.

We've all got our health and we all laugh a lot. In my personal life, I really can't say why, but I've never felt more confident and happy. And all the credit goes to my little kids and my Husband.

My personal advice to each and every Parent out there is that the best way to raise Positive children in a negative world is to have positive parents who love them unconditionally and serve as excellent role models. We both are really positive and we teach the same to our kids. And it really helps in their upbringing. It feels so great when your Kids see you as their role model. Nothing can beat that feeling.

Share this message as much as you can so that it reaches every parent out there."

There are just so many things wrong with this! And there's a bunch of women who are posting, "Yay, I left and my children live with me! They are so much happier now!"

(If this is the wrong forum, please move - but I didn't find a 'Divorce & Society' forum or another place that seemed to fit...)

Originally Posted By: Painter

I would honestly say that I wouldn�t change a thing. Even all the bad bits. They all matter, because those things shape who you are. Life is just too short to be spending time focusing on useless things.

How can she go from saying something I LOVE (in black) to something I hate so much (in blue) so quickly? Is she suggesting that her marriages are "useless things"? Ugh. What a terrible message.

I can't hear the phrase 'Life is (too) short' without cringing these days. I heard it out of H several times last fall, and recently I learned that it's the slogan of the website Ashley Madison - 'Life is short. Have an affair.'

It also demonstrates that we need to look carefully at who our role models are. She's an actress - not a philosopher or relationship specialist or spiritual adviser. And people who are public figures should think carefully about what they put out there that is unrelated to their profession. I'd happily listen to her talk about acting and movies...

I get it: We only have one life...and its not that long.

But to suggest that its better to throw away a marriage and start over based on a temporary feeling of unhappiness is ludicrous. To suggest that its better to just throw away your family than to work on improve is irresponsible. And to suggest that divorce is the best and only solution to being unhappy in your marriage is infuriating.

Azzork, what do people in a fog say and how do they behave? Does the ever so slightly delusional message from Kate remind you of anyone close to you? :-) (No disrespect to your W intended).

In Kate's case, it's simply that she's broadcasting in a public place rather than more privately which Is the norm we are used to.

Don't let it infuriate you, learn from it and realise it backs up what Sandi's Rule states "don't believe 100% of what your WW says and only believe 50% of what they do".

Originally Posted By: Beagley

Azzork, what do people in a fog say and how do they behave? Does the ever so slightly delusional message from Kate remind you of anyone close to you? :-) (No disrespect to your W intended).

In Kate's case, it's simply that she's broadcasting in a public place rather than more privately which Is the norm we are used to.

Don't let it infuriate you, learn from it and realise it backs up what Sandi's Rule states "don't believe 100% of what your WW says and only believe 50% of what they do".

I understand what youre saying. I am mostly upset that this is being held up as being good advice. And that we should be happy for her for taking these steps. And be proud of what a good role model and parent shes being.

Its just frustrating that THIS is the message that is being seen by people across the world. i wonder how many divorces will be started because of this message.

I bet if you ask the kids what they think in a few years time, I bet it isn't all hearts and flowers.

My F cheated on my M when I was 8 - never forgave him until the day he died. We never had a good relationship.

Originally Posted By: Azzork

I am mostly upset that this is being held up as being good advice. And that we should be happy for her for taking these steps. And be proud of what a good role model and parent shes being.

Its just frustrating that THIS is the message that is being seen by people across the world. i wonder how many divorces will be started because of this message.

Something along those lines was posted in reply to her.

I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!

Originally Posted By: ep0215

I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!

Yes, my STBX said something along those same lines. That in the 7 months between BD and S, nothing changed. Yeah...well... he never gave up the duck, never gave MC a chance, never went to IC. How does the M have a chance?

My kids are a mess after W BD'd our M in May. Already they are totally different and fight really nasty with horrible language like I have never seen them before. Its only been 3 months and already a huge difference. I think what has caused this is W has just told them M and D are splitting up and if you are not comfortable speaking with Dad about it then tell him. Because no one has communicated properly with them they are just assuming that I "did something really bad to make mommy do this". Of course when I try to correct them they say mommy told us we didn't have to talk about it if it makes us uncomfortable. Of course it makes them uncomfortable.

Originally Posted By: SunnyB

Originally Posted By: ep0215

I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!

Yes, my STBX said something along those same lines. That in the 7 months between BD and S, nothing changed. Yeah...well... he never gave up the duck, never gave MC a chance, never went to IC. How does the M have a chance?

Yep! Precisely! Even though there is nothing I can do about it, I do feel for him because he still isn't doing those things and I know this decision won't make him happy in the end. Maybe it will for a little while but not long term.

It's still someone in a fog talking and it is unfortunate that they are on a world stage so can do significant damage to others. It's the same as many of our sitch's, but scaled up and there nothing we can do about it.

Our WS or WAS will tell people about how bad we were to them in a history re-written diatribe, blah, blah, blah, some will believe them others won't, there nothing you can do about it, the same as you can't control what the press print, so just accept it and focus on more important things. Allowing stories like this to effect you may unwittingly, impact how you deal with some of the sh1t that comes along in your sitch's and that would be a horrible thing.

I don't keep up with the news as I believe that if something's really that bad someone will tell me about it anyway so why bother proactively seeking out negative stuff.

Originally Posted By: duke

My kids are a mess after W BD'd our M in May. Already they are totally different and fight really nasty with horrible language like I have never seen them before. Its only been 3 months and already a huge difference. I think what has caused this is W has just told them M and D are splitting up and if you are not comfortable speaking with Dad about it then tell him. Because no one has communicated properly with them they are just assuming that I "did something really bad to make mommy do this". Of course when I try to correct them they say mommy told us we didn't have to talk about it if it makes us uncomfortable. Of course it makes them uncomfortable.

I am so sorry about this... and I strongly feel that this is Parental Alienation and should be addressed in counseling.

It amazes me the level of selfishness these people have stating that Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to them.

Did they ever consider asking ANYONE in the family? NOpe

Hang on, isn't she an actress who troops off around the world at the drop of a hat and leaves her family with nannies etc? I think I'll take what she preaches with an enormous dollop of salt.

Let's face it, if she hadn't got her clothes off in Titanic, she'd be a jobbing actor touring the seaside in panto.

Originally Posted By: ep0215

I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!

I agree with this..I got the same spiel...I "waited" for a year but nothing changed...so I'm done!..wha?huh?where?..in what way were we working on the marriage?

OH, DIVORCE BASHING! IN!!! I'M HERE!!!

I think you've all said it all already. Just wanted to jump on the bandwagon. Thank you all for giving hope that there are people that see the value in a permanent M.

(Now I wish Jack had let Rose jump

)

Zues, watch Insurgent, I think you'll like what happens to her. I won't give any spoilers.