H moved out 6/14 into an apartment and has OW that lives out of town but does a lot of contract work for companies in our town. Of course OW stays with H when she is in town. H still has A LOT of his belongings here at our home including hundreds of books and a garage full of tools and woodworking equipment. He used to enjoy making small pieces of furniture such as end tables and bookcases. H has agreed to stay married so that I can continue to use medical benefits through his job. He has been cordial throughout this nightmare and says he has a deep fraternal love for me - ILUBNILWY. When he moved out, he did not know if he would come back or not. It's been 6 months now, although I understand this is a short time regarding DB standards. I am conflicted about requesting that he move the rest of his stuff out. He doesn't have room in his small apartment and would have to rent storage space. I don't want to keep any of the furniture he made and sometimes feel that seeing all of his stuff daily is just a painful reminder that he's gone. We have almost no contact. Today I sent him an email asking him to move the remainder of his things out of the house. Honestly, there was probably a tad bit of spite mixed in the request because I know it's going to be a real pain to clean out the garage and move everything. Was I wrong to ask him to do this? Has anyone had a similar situation? Need input, please. I see no signs of a R in the near future, if ever.
I asked my stbxw to move her things. She is not coking home. She has made this clear. I don't clutter her living space with my things ....she shouldn't Clutter mine
Vets around here often encourage us to let WAS to face reality, by enforcing the consequences of the S. By that standard, I'd say it's a good thing you asked him to pick up his stuff. My WAW left a couple of big items here and I told her once to pick them up, but I've decided not to refer to it again because neither of us need them and they're not in the way. That's the extent of my experience. Good luck.
I've been weepy and feeling very pathetic the last few days. Stooped to a new low when I actually considered telling H he could keep OW as his mistress if he would just move back home to me. Of course I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS go for this sort of arrangement if I were functioning in my right mind. These thoughts caused me to have a nightmare last night where H introduced me to OW. She was a very sensual, Latin woman and she, H and I ended up in bed together. OMG it was an X-rated dream!!! In reality, I have no idea what OW looks like but H did tell me that she is 10 years younger than I am and has never had children. Can't help but think that her body is not as war torn as mine. Note to self: Get in shape.
Hi Sorry you so down. Do not give ow another thought She is not you. You are you and your H will realise that. You had bad thoughts re letting him home but you soon stopped that. That's perfect Bad thoughts are ok once you deal with them straight away.
Chin up you will be happy again. Take care. Rd