Hi everyone:) about 4 months ago my common law wife of 11yrs gave me the I love you but not in love with you talk and said she wanted us to split up she said I never made her feel loved though I did love her but I admit I neglected the relationship and took her for granted, we carried on living in the same house for the next 2 months but there was a lot of tension though one time we did have sex but she told me not to read anything into it, after 2 months I moved in with my elderly parents after she started going out with friends and not coming home till the next day well now I have moved out she has been really nice to me cooking meals and sending them to my parents house she also turns up all the time and we make small talk and I never bring up the relationship but she never talks about us getting back together, oh and I forgot to mention we have 3 children who we both absolutely adore, now do I just carry on with things as they are and hope eventually she might want me back I don't want to start talking about the relationship again as it just pushed her further away?
Welcome to the board
Get out and GAL.
DETACH.
Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.
Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.
Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon
Ok I made loads of mistakes when she dropped the bomb I was trying to persuade her to change her mind texting her too often asking her to reconsider but then I started doing 180's I stopped drinking a bottle of wine every night before bed I joined a gym and I'm now in the best shape of my life and she knows it, I replaced every bit of clothing I had with new I go out with friends every weekend where before I stayed in with the family, I get my hair cut every month I am always clean shaven I make sure I look the best I can at all times and I think it just might be working but I don't want to get my hopes up just yet
Well nearly another 2 month's have flown past and we are still not back together but she is very friendly to me but I'm a little scared she has put me in the friend zone I'm just not sure. I went to her house this week and I knocked on the door and when she opened it she said what are you knocking for just walk straight in I will be at your house, so I took that as a good sign, I asked if I could take her out one night and she said maybe when she gets time, but I know she goes out at the drop of a hat if one of her friends asks her out. She did get upset earlier in the week when she called at my house which used to be the family home before she moved out with the kids, I was painting the living room at the time she arrived and she said she was feeling very emotional and it hurt her that I was now doing all the things that she had been asking me to do for years and that she would not have left me if I had made all the changes for her she also later that day sent me a txt message saying I never loved her and would not do this to someone you love so all my changes are hurting her I don't know if this is normal with Db or not some feedback would be great
Yes, it is common for the WAW to be upset that you would not make changes until she was done.
Have you read Divorce Remedy?
No I was just following the LRT and sandys 37 rules I think I should get the book I will order it of Amazon today
I have another question she asked me to buy her a certain music cd that she liked when she was in my car I gave her a lift, now I know the rules say no gifts should I buy her it?
I have another question she asked me to buy her a certain music cd that she liked when she was in my car I gave her a lift, now I know the rules say no gifts should I buy her it?
Actually, it says not to buy gifts to make brownie points with your S.
Those "rules" are not intended to replace the book. They are just a few notes, or reminders, based on the contents of the book. Without the book, they could be misinterpreted. Also, they have to be applied according to the individual stitch. As the stitch changes, so should the "rules".
Does she have her own money, or does she solely rely upon your finances? Is it common for her to ask you to get her something she likes?
While you are waiting on the books, you can find the first chapters on the board. Also, be doing a lot of soul searching and list the specific things you need to change to become a better man. Name what you know bothered her. You have already named some things you are improving (which are great, btw) but what about the interaction between your W and you? What would you need to improve there?
Do you know what she needs to feel emotionally connected with you? Do you know her Love Language?
What kind of personality do your W and children see in you? How does your personality and hers differ from each other?
Do you see ways you could polish some manners and charm?
What about her level of attraction to you? Can you tell?
You have three children with her. Why haven't you M her?
Wow great reply much appreciated
A bit about my w she is 34yr old she really has a heart of gold she gives up so much of her time to charity work, she supports the elderly and the homeless and is much loved by everyone in our small community she does do some paying work but has been struggling since she left me and I have been supporting her by paying for food and a few other bills
A bit about me I'm 47yrs old but very young looking for my age most people think I'm in my 30's I work full time in a decent paying job and have provided for my family for the last 11yrs, the kids love me to bits as that's where most of my spare time was spent rambling through the woods or walking along the beach with the kids
Sex life was amazing that's her words so no problem there
What she is saying is she never felt loved and special she is convinced in her head I don't love her and this is not just a cry for attention, for the first 3 month there was no getting through to her the barricades were up and nothing I could say could get through to her she even told me to go find someone else as she would never want me back and she was done,
now after that I started following the 37 rules and the the LRT which has brought her closer to me and we are now good friends but very little relationship talk
Another thing I should add is that coming from a small community our families are very close she visits my parents every single day and I call and see her mom and sister a couple of times a week I take her mom shopping for groceries as she doesn't drive a car
Okay, thanks for the information. Could you answer these other questions, please?
Is it common for her to ask you to get her something she likes?
While you are waiting on the books, you can find the first chapters on the board. Also, be doing a lot of soul searching and list the specific things you need to change to become a better man. Name what you know bothered her. You have already named some things you are improving (which are great, btw) but what about the interaction between your W and you? What would you need to improve there?
Do you know what she needs to feel emotionally connected with you? Do you know her Love Language?
What kind of personality do your W and children see in you? How does your personality and hers differ from each other?
Do you see ways you could polish some manners and charm?
What about her level of attraction to you? Can you tell?
You have three children with her. Why haven't you M her?
Did you order the books yet? You can't expect us to spoon feed you the answers without you putting in the effort.
Well I have now finished the book, I should have done that from the start and maybe I would not be in this mess
Paul, I think it would be beneficial if you posted more often. I'm glad you read the book!
Thanks Sandi, I'm not very good with writing and expressing my situation but I will try my best
She phoned me yesterday to ask if I was going to call at her home after work to see the kids and I don't want to read to much into it but her tone on the phone was much softer much like when we were a couple
They was also a day last week she called at my place and she said her feet were cold and she took off her shoes to warm them next to the fire and for some reason I got hold of her feet to rub them to warm them and that made her smile
Friday could be interesting as we are both invited to a mutual friends birthday party I have up until now stayed away from socialising at the same place as I could not stand the thought of seeing her with another man
I think the best change that I made was to get in to shape, the compliments I'm getting now 6 months later are a great ego booster, breakups really do make bodybuilders
W has asked me if I would still go for Christmas dinner at her parents house this year so I would be with the kids and I'm just not sure if I should accept
W txt me at work today asked if I would take her shopping tomorrow as she doesn't drive, I'm starting to think all the progress I have made are not baby steps just her been nice so she can carry on cake eating.
Every weekend she goes out drinking with a single friend and at least one night she doesn't go home as the eldest D16 told me, I'm sure she has OM but no proof, she even made a comment about buying condoms trying to get a reaction out of me but I just ignored it.
Anyway I sent this reply back to her which I thought quite fun and did not want to be a doormat
(yes I can give you a lift but I charge 3 hard spanks across your ass with a spachelor lol)
And she replied back
(Lol I think I can manage that)
I may also add last Friday at the party we both went to but we're not sat together, I seen a guy who I know just a little talking to her, and her body language was very forth coming leaning in to him and he tried to kiss her but she pushed him away, he got up and seemed to go off in a mood leaving the venue, this was also witnessed by D16 as we we're both watching, there was rumours a few months ago she had been seeing this guy but she denied it but now I think something must be going on there.
After the party she invited me and a couple of other friends back to hers to carry on drinking into the early morning, there was no sign of the OM that night
Took W shopping with D16 and her boyfriend and again W was really nice and we all had a good time, then on the way back W started to s**t test me, she told me that tomorrow night she was going out on a date, I kept a PMA and just said oh who with, and she replied laughing with gay Neil who is a mutual friend who I have no worries about, and just seconds after that a man jogged past the car and she said mind I would go out on a date with him, I just did not reply
That's 3 s**t tests including the condom comment a couple of days ago
why the hell is she s**t testing me?
Are you OK with her teasing you about seeing other men like that? What do you think she thinks of you when she does that?
I think she is trying to get a reaction out of me so she can justify her leaving me, I think she is doubting her decision to leave but I'm not taking the bait,I'm not comfortable with these tests but I'm in a much better place than I was 6 months ago
Another thing I should add I have not told her I loved her for the last 4 months I don't put any kisses on any of the txt messages I send her I just act like we are friends
Paul, have you read information regarding the subject of personal boundaries in a relationship? What I am seeing in your stitch is a woman who is not only a WAW, but she is wayward. You have said yourself she gives you S-tests.
Can you tell when your children test boundaries to see how far they can push you before you call a halt to it? Well, adults do the same thing, especially someone they don't respect. The WAW is infamous in pushing boundaries. If you have no boundaries in place, then you will not only lose your relationship, but also your self-respect will take a dive. The very fact that she was acting in a such flirtatious manner with OM that he thought he could kiss her right in front of her H and children..........speaks volumes.
I suspect she knew you were watching her every move (b/c that is what new LBH'S do), and yet she continued her display of open disrespect. You are a man. Without her respect, you don't have her. Are you listening? A woman cannot have loving feelings for a man she does not respect. It goes hand in hand, b/c that is how women were designed. She has to respect you as leader, protector, provider, and head of the home......or it is nothing more than a pretense of being a couple. Oh yeah, she will test you (b/c that is what women do, especially a WW), so more reason to know your own limits and make certain she knows.
So think hard about what you will not tolerate. Think about the values you would die for, and won't live without. I hope respect is high on that list.
DBing is not complicated, but it is not easy to do. Never mistake it to imply you are to roll over and play dead. It makes my blood boil at the men who thinks being a doormat will draw their W back into the MR, when it actually does the opposite.
Thanks sandi for the great advice I will read up on personal boundaries, the feeling I get from W is she is not in love with OM or any man come to that but she is in love with herself and she wants the best man she can get, I'm sure if I can pass these tests I will win her back.
Update on my GAL
Well last night was very interesting, I hit the town night life with a couple of male friends one of who is also going through a bad patch with his W who also happens to be a close friend of my W, anyway we go into this one bar where they had a rock band playing, the drinks start flowing and we are having a good time when a woman who is known to me and my friends and my W walks in and noticed us so joined our party a few more drinks later she asks me about the situation with the W and if we will get back together and I told her I just don't know, she then leans over to me feels the muscles on my shoulders and tells me I have a beautiful body she then kisses me on the lips just a peck but wow I could feel the sexual tension between us this woman is no slapper she is a high value very pretty woman right up there in the same level of my W we chat for a about an hour and we really connect then my friends decide to move on to another bar so I stroke her hair and give her a peck on the lips and tell her I will see her around, I walk to the next bar on cloud 9 I love my W and want my family back together but I now known what ever happens I'm going to be alright
I'm going to say something, and it is not judging, but i hope a forwarning. There is a saying here I believe 25yrsmlc uses, "Keep the road home paved smoothly". Some people in your stitch might think that refers to doing everything your WAW wants, basically becoming a doormat. I don't think it means that at all. The way I see it is that you keep your nose clean. You don't run out and get involved with another woman. That could really complicate things, and you talk about placing barriers on the road back home.......that could do it! I know, you were had no intentions of getting involved, but based on what you said, it would have been pretty easy to go too far, and then trouble would really mount.
You got a big shot of ego serum from a woman who would have slept with you, had you not left. You were doing some MAJOR flirting. Do you not think that it will get back to your W that you were seen kissing another woman?
I walk to the next bar on cloud 9 I love my W and want my family back together but I now known what ever happens I'm going to be alright
Why, b/c a horny woman came on to you, and that's what it took to let you know you will be alright? Look, you felt good b/c your ego was fed. But that is only temporary and it will take a lot more than bar hopping and womanizing to make everything alright. You have to have something more solid. So, get your head straight and start DBing.
I meant to add something else. After your behavior in the bar, you don't have much room to say anything about your W's actions at the birthday party. If you want her respect, you have to lead the way, instead of behaving just as poorly as she does.
IDK, maybe you saw it as getting back at her. But this does not work. You can't expect her to show you respect when you don't act respectful. Am I making sense?
Thanks sandi, I think there is a good chance that W will hear about the flirting, if that has a positive or negative effect I don't know, but I do know that I won't sleep with another woman until I know that there is no hope.
Another thing I should add sandi is that on Bd me and W had been to a family party in a local bar and all night she was flirting with other men, well when we got home I pulled her about it and we had this massive argument which was the start of her decision to leave me
Can I also say this behaviour from my W is not how it was through out our relationship, she was never a flirt she only had eye's for me, I had total trust in her, the change in her personality came after she went on a all girl's holiday to Magaluf a Spanish party island
I don't know what happened on that girls holiday but when she came back it was like she was a different woman, I also noticed a big increase in her sex drive after the holiday
I do understand, and don't want to sound preachy. I just know you are walking a very thin line when you start the flirting games. Just b/c she has done the same behavior is not an excuse for you.
You said a word that should be treasured. "Trust". My M had complete trust from both of us, until I abused it. Our M was not A proof.
Like your W, it triggered something in me, also. I am ashame of my behavior. If my H had chosen to do likewise, I don't believe we would have made it.
Please be careful, Paul. Don't cause more trouble for yourself.
I meant to add something else. After your behavior in the bar, you don't have much room to say anything about your W's actions at the birthday party. If you want her respect, you have to lead the way, instead of behaving just as poorly as she does.
IDK, maybe you saw it as getting back at her. But this does not work. You can't expect her to show you respect when you don't act respectful. Am I making sense?
yes it makes perfect sense sandi its just so not me idk what got over me i think its just the months of rejection from W and a combination of drink and a pretty woman been there at that time.
i was just thinking how do i know that she knows i want her back becouse for the last 4 months we have had no R talk no i love you, just me and her doing nice things for each other during the week, like she invites me for dinner at her house quite often, we exchange txt messages daily some times a little flirty and lots of joking and winding each other up,i have at my house lots of dirty pics that i took of her when we were together and i mentioned giving them to her but she seems in no rush for them back so i guess she has some trust there,she often gets me to give her lifts in my car here and there when i know her sister could take her so she likes my company
but then come the weekend we go our separate ways do our own thing ,should i cut out this time we spend together during the week?
Called at her home last night to pick up something for my mother, she asked quite a few questions about my night out but made no comments about my flirting so not sure if she knows. I asked no questions about her night out, I never do, I gave the kids a hug and said my goodbyes to them all, I was in and out in less than 10 minutes
I forgot to add just as i arrived at her home the MIL was leaving and she mentioned how much her and FIL would like me to go for Christmas dinner with them, as I have done for the last 11yrs
I'm still undecided on this, I want to go but I know if I don't go I will be missed and that might be a good thing
Time to get back on the LRT, I have been initiating far to much of the contact and though we are getting on well it's just not going anywhere,
Yesterday I thought I will not text her until she texts me,well the text came through just as I was finishing work, she asked if I would like to join her and the kids for dinner, normally I would have jumped at the chance but going back to the LRT it says accept some invitations to spend time together but not all, so I politely declined her offer and gave no reason
Did not initiate any contact again today, and like clock work just as I was finishing work I get a txt of her, she asked if the kids could come to my house for a couple of hour's as they had be asking for me, and would I like to have dinner at her house when I pick them up, I had dinner and we made small talk and again she mentioned that all her family would like me to go for Christmas dinner,she also mentioned that she's not sleeping very well only got 2 hrs sleep last night
Another small thing, but it seemed to irritate W was i had a Christmass card of her sister and it was a really nice card made out to brother,her sister said after we split that i would always be her brother in law and her mum is the same we are all still very close, I suppose she does not like the fact that her own family can not validate her actions, the only person doing that is her single friend whose life is totally messed up
W asked if I will take her food shopping tonight after I finish work, this is becoming a weekly thing I sometimes think its cake eating but it does give me a chance to have positive interaction with her, so I will look my best have a shave put on some nice body spray and new air freshener for the car and maybe a new music cd as she loves music
She has commented that I smell nice a couple of times all good for re attracting her
She seems to be increasing contact she txt me at work to ask if I would like to have dinner at MIL home with her and kids, and just as I got home from work she happens to be passing to pick S7 up from school, and she gave me a massive smile and said I will send you txt when dinner is ready
Just have to keep cool PMA
Just a quick hello to say thank you for posting. Your sitch is interesting and seems to be heading in the right direction. As you know, many of us have negative or no interactions with our WAS. It's nice to see someone who interacts positively. I think you do well to limit your responses and decline some invitations (DB says 50%). You're lucky she's contacting you so much, giving you a chance to apply the techniques. Keep at it.
Hi there Mozza thanks for the advice i will start to decline more,we do seem to be heading in the right direction but it will still take some time to get there,she did start out as a text book WAW for the first 2 months all she did was spew and make out i was a bad guy who never loved her, and then she started staying out all night i suspect OM
It was only when i started to apply LRT that i started to get anywhere and now we have been stuck in that holding pattern for the last 4 months no ILY and no OR talk but lots of positive interactions, she still tries to push my buttons every now and then and s test me on a regular basis like tonight when i called at her house after dinner at MIL she told me she had a man in her wardrobe, i just laughed i am detached enough to not let it get to me
well i have had to give in and agree to go for Christmas dinner at MIL, to much pressure from D16 who is actually my SD but in my eyes she is my D and to her i am her daddy, as she calls me when she wants something lol
here is the txt she sent me
I love you
your my daddy
no little girl wants a
Christmas without there daddy
no matter how old they are
xxxxxxxx
Definitely increasing contact, she phoned me last night to help out with a technical problem with MIL mobile phone
Then a txt first thing this morning to tell me it's S7 Christmas play on Tuesday
Friday night is my night with the kids movie and games and takeaway pizza's.
Tomorrow night I'm going out on the town with friends, I'm starting to enjoy the single life lol
Just been out in the car to shops with D16 and on the way home W phoned D16 and asked her to ask me if I would pick up some cigarettes for her, now normally I would just have gone back to the shops and got them for her but this time I told her no I'm not going back, it will probably piss her off but I'm getting sick of all these little favours
I think i need to pull back a little bit,she is getting to many of her needs met and the cake eating has to stop, she won't feel any loss,it is like we are still together but living in separate houses but she don't have to do the sex bit well not with me lol
time to go out and hit the bars with a big group of friends, you can not keep me of that dance floor once I'm on it lol, best heterosexual dancer of all time wooooh party on
Had a great night out last night with friends and made some new friends, one friend told me he had seen W out with her single friend on Friday night and no sign of suspect OM, he said W got a taxi home on her own and her single friend stayed a bit longer, I never asked for this information he just gave it to me, I'm starting to think OM might be out of the picture as W has been going home the last few Friday's
Text this morning of W ,invited me for dinner,I waited one hour to reply as per the LRT and have politely declined the offer
S7 wants to come to my home to play some ps3 he is minecraft mad he loves that game, right now i have to make myself look the best I can and smell dam good just to pick up my S7
It's like a military operation just to pick up my son lol
Picked up S7 from W house and made small talk with W, she asked questions about my night out and she told me something funny that S7 did and I laughed and said god knows what he will be like when he is a teenager, and she said jokingly that is when he comes to live with you, it sort of knocked me a bit I thought I was making good progress but obviously she still can't see a future or am I reading to much into that comment?
W has invited me to her home for dinner quite a few times over the last few week's so I thought I better invite her and the kids to mine, I was unsure if to do so as it could come across as pursuing but then I thought it's the right thing to do, anyway I asked her and she said YES and thank you, so it's now planned for next Saturday, she obviously now likes my company, its just the attraction bit, I think I need to get a bit more touchy feely with her but not to sure how she will react
been out for a quiet drink with friend and he brought up the flirting i was doing a week gone Friday, says she is gorgeous and i should make a move and it would devastate W but i only have eyes for W and want my family back together
Picked up S7 from W house and made small talk with W, she asked questions about my night out and she told me something funny that S7 did and I laughed and said god knows what he will be like when he is a teenager, and she said jokingly that is when he comes to live with you, it sort of knocked me a bit I thought I was making good progress but obviously she still can't see a future or am I reading to much into that comment?
Well let's talk about it. You tell how you measure your progress. What determines you are making good or poor progress?
Apparently if she can make one statement (in a joking way,,,but maybe hitting to close to reality) and it completely pulls the rug out from under you, you must be measuring your progress by her and if she ever makes on reference that implies the two of you won't be together in the future........you give yourself a failing grade.
Hi sandi well let me think signs I have had of progress
She now calls and texts me directly instead of using D16 as a proxy
She now has no problem going in my car where as before she would not set foot in it
She never goes a day without contacting me
She randomly invites me to visit her home for dinner or just a coffee where before she could not even look me in the face
she takes a interest in what I'm getting up to especially my social life
D16 and her BF tell me she now talks about me again quite often
A couple of times she has mentioned the fun times we had where as before she just talked about how unhappy she was
About a month ago she told me if I had made all the changes for her she would never have left me, she was very emotional that day maybe I missed my chance to make a move
She quite often tells me I smell good
And a all round feeling that we are reconnecting but what worries me is that it could be just as friends not lovers
Now the negative things
Every now and then she will throw in a comment to make me jealous
She doesn't talk about a future with me and her together as a couple
She flirts with men when we are in the same bar
She wears sexier clothing when she goes out than she did when we were together
She tries to give the impression she is enjoying the single lifestyle
Well its been about 7 months since BD and I have been Dbing for 5 month, I've seen lots of positive movement baby steps or is it just cake eating I just don't know,I know I'm in a better position than most as she has given me practically unlimited amount of time I can spend with her, just turn up when ever you want her words, but I don't know if I should spend more time with her to create a stronger bond or less time to make her miss me, it certainly is a marathon this dbing
And yet, you still measure your progress by her actions instead of your own. That is not uncommon for a LBH newcomer, but I suggest you stop watch her to grade yourself. For example, you listed the below as negative progress and not one thing has to do with you.
Now the negative things
Every now and then she will throw in a comment to make me jealous
She doesn't talk about a future with me and her together as a couple
She flirts with men when we are in the same bar
She wears sexier clothing when she goes out than she did when we were together
She tries to give the impression she is enjoying the single lifestyle
These are things you cannot control b/c they belong to her. However, to be fair, I think I know how you mean it. You believe if you make huge progress then she will stop doing these things, right? But my point is that you are giving her the power to control your life. You are basing how well or poorly you operate on her choices/actions. In some cases, it can be a message to the guy to change something he may be doing wrong, but in other cases it is simply due to that woman's bad decisions.
You will know you have grown when you can come here and say, "I was not swayed by her impolite comment about me". "I kept my PMA in spite of no invitations from her". "I have been so busy GAL that I seem to not notice if she has not contacted me". "I have peace in my life and feel happy even though WAW has not budged about reconciliation". (Just a few examples.)
Many times a LBH places so much focus on winning back his WAW that once she does return, then he finds himself resenting her and having difficulty in forgiving her. Why? B/c to him it was all about getting her back. He did not place attention on himself, so it's like a delayed reaction when he gets her back again. He wins the prize and then doesn't want it.
Thanks sandi and as always I know you are right I need to get back to improving ME and not be concerned about what she says and things I can not control
Today she invited me for dinner again and I again turned down the invite, then she sends me a text saying
Have I done something to offend you
I get the feeling you have been off
with me for a few days
and I would rather you spit it out
It looks like me not accepting all her invites makes her feel I'm been grumpy with her which I'm not
Anyway I told her I was fine with her, and we had a little joke about something my mother did that we both found funny
Time to get mysterious again, I have changed the kid's night from Friday to Saturday this week and given no reason lol
Had bad news today W can not get help with housing costs as she is part owner of the house I live in, which means we will have to sell the house as I can not afford to buy her out, I did mention that she could move back in to our house but she said there is No way we will be living together, so that's it nowhere near busted here.
I'm totally going to change tactics now as been her good friend doesn't seem to get me anywhere
From now on no more playing happy family's at her home its going to be pick up the kids and away I go as soon as possible, no more little favours for her, no more financial support than the minimum I have to pay, I'm basically going to move on with my life I'm done with her
Well it's time for a FUN night with friends we're off to see a band in a local bar.
PMA through the roof tonight I know it won't last but I will enjoy it while I can lol
Good for you - live music is always a great way to lift spirites and GAL. I hope you enjoyed
Thanks Naj I had a really great time
As I posted earlier I have changed my tactics and today she text me about how she can not pay her rent, I have text her back to say she should find herself a man who will move in and pay her rent
I love her but I'm not taking more of her crap
As I posted earlier I have changed my tactics and today she text me about how she can not pay her rent, I have text her back to say she should find herself a man who will move in and pay her rent
I love her but I'm not taking more of her crap
Not the best of responses to give.
I think it would have been better to just say something like, "Considering our situation, it's best if I decline from the position as your advisor".
Just a small update
OM is out of the picture and is now in a relationship with her best friend
I have backed right off from W the last couple of weeks apart from Christmas day when I had dinner with her family after much pressure from the kids to join them
S7 has been spending lots of time at my house at his request which seems to be irritating W
Yesterday W seemed to reach out to me by text
just to say that she would ohhh so love one of my steak dinners,
so I text her back that I would do one for me and her at a time and date when we are both free
She text me back just name the time and date and she will be there
So this push pull dance continues
oh and i got asked out on a date by a woman i got chatting to on boxing day night but i have not taken her up on the offer
My changes and PMA are now flowing so naturally
I don't think I have ever felt this good about myself
Everyone I come in to contact with seem to buzz of my new energy
The kids want to be with me all the time
The MIL she adores me
The SIL could talk forever I have to make my excuses to leave LOL
The BIL well were best buddy's through all of this
Lots of attention from the lady's including from married friends wife's which wont be happening how ever much they flirt
Been told I'm handsome by a lady
Been told I'm beautiful by a lady
Been asked out for dates a few times
Friends often call me me to socialise
Work friends male and femail ask me to socilise with them
W well she continues to be friendly and seems to like contact But there never is any discusion of R
She asks all the time about my social life
But she seems to be the only person in the world that can not see the changes i have made both physically and mentaly
It's 10 month now since she walked out
I have been using some unconventional methods to win her back
A lot of alpha male [censored] as the been good friends was just not cutting with her not working
Things are looking promising I could have her back very soon fingers crossed