Letting go - 08/25/14 03:13 AM
Last week W went to the Bahama's - not sure if OM was there or not but do know they continue to have phone contact. He calls and she goes upstairs to talk to him. Yesterday when I got home from work I started packing up my stereo and the speakers attached outside the house. She asked what I was doing and I said I didn't want to have to do it in December when the divorce was final.
She said I thought you were moving to the lake house because that is what we told son. I said I wasn't sure when I was moving and son said me he wants me to stay here. What we had talked about earlier was me moving to the lake, W have no contact with OM and she if the M could be restored. I said as long as there is a third person involved I am not able to work on R and need to move forward. She texted me about 3 weeks ago, there would be no contact but I don't believe she is willing to stop at this point. As I was packing the things into the car, she began crying. I think she thought I would always be available if / when she wanted to get together. Seems like cake eating to me and when she saw I was no longer willing to be plan B, she got scared because she sees her world crashing down and I am moving forward.
She is confused but I can't help her. We talked for a while and she said she wanted to come to the lake tomorrow. I said I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow - call or text me to make sure I'm there.
She did text and came to the lake with son - posted pictures of our day on FB like nothing is wrong. W's mom watched son for a couple of days while W was in Bahama's and knows nothing about what is going on. Should I go NC or what? She seems to act as if this is how we are going to live after D.
I am so thankful for the time that I've been able to work on myself and know that I will be alright. It is a very murky river that must be crossed - it may be turbulent at times and won't be easy - there is no bridge and I must go through it but when I get to the other side it will be beautiful. She probably won't be with me when I get there and the person that she is right now, I wouldn't want her to be.
Not sure if her fog is from MLC or OM - but this sure socks.
Not sure if I did the right thing today about W coming to the lake. Should I draw a firm boundary and have as little contact as possible? We have mediation on 9/11 to come up with child support and spousal support. Her L keeps pushing the fight for more $upport and wants to ring the register as many time as possible. I'm amazed someone can walk away from M have an affair and the judge give S a ton of $. I just ant to split 50/50 if we can't reconcile - but when I start there her L wants to go 50/50 from that point.
I just want to do what's right and take care of our son. Going to go back and reread DB and I have a phone appointment with Chuck at DB tomorrow. Hopefully he can give me some good insight.
Advice from the vets or anyone dealing with a similar stitch would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading and your input!
Previous Posts:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...541#Post2471541
She said I thought you were moving to the lake house because that is what we told son. I said I wasn't sure when I was moving and son said me he wants me to stay here. What we had talked about earlier was me moving to the lake, W have no contact with OM and she if the M could be restored. I said as long as there is a third person involved I am not able to work on R and need to move forward. She texted me about 3 weeks ago, there would be no contact but I don't believe she is willing to stop at this point. As I was packing the things into the car, she began crying. I think she thought I would always be available if / when she wanted to get together. Seems like cake eating to me and when she saw I was no longer willing to be plan B, she got scared because she sees her world crashing down and I am moving forward.
She is confused but I can't help her. We talked for a while and she said she wanted to come to the lake tomorrow. I said I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow - call or text me to make sure I'm there.
She did text and came to the lake with son - posted pictures of our day on FB like nothing is wrong. W's mom watched son for a couple of days while W was in Bahama's and knows nothing about what is going on. Should I go NC or what? She seems to act as if this is how we are going to live after D.
I am so thankful for the time that I've been able to work on myself and know that I will be alright. It is a very murky river that must be crossed - it may be turbulent at times and won't be easy - there is no bridge and I must go through it but when I get to the other side it will be beautiful. She probably won't be with me when I get there and the person that she is right now, I wouldn't want her to be.
Not sure if her fog is from MLC or OM - but this sure socks.
Not sure if I did the right thing today about W coming to the lake. Should I draw a firm boundary and have as little contact as possible? We have mediation on 9/11 to come up with child support and spousal support. Her L keeps pushing the fight for more $upport and wants to ring the register as many time as possible. I'm amazed someone can walk away from M have an affair and the judge give S a ton of $. I just ant to split 50/50 if we can't reconcile - but when I start there her L wants to go 50/50 from that point.
I just want to do what's right and take care of our son. Going to go back and reread DB and I have a phone appointment with Chuck at DB tomorrow. Hopefully he can give me some good insight.
Advice from the vets or anyone dealing with a similar stitch would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading and your input!
Previous Posts:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...541#Post2471541