Hey all-
I also post in MLC, but am having a difficult time dealing with OW scenario. So he is her supervisor, they carpool, work together 4 times a week, spend mornings together while I'm at work and kids at school, and either spend time together after work or talk on phone until 2am to 4am. And they are just BFFs. UGH - who uses that phrase in their 40s. I don't have idiot stamped on my head - I know what is going on. The problem is they could be in big trouble at work or fired for ea and pa. The work evenings until 11pm, and he says he does not want to come home because we are boring. Says he wants a divorce when his work situation is figured out. I am not sure why I am still standing, but I am. I think it is because I have never quit on anything!
H has been staying in spare room for 4 months. He does this fake sleep walking thing, and tries to be intimate. Since I figured out the PA I have been just taking him back to his room several times until he gives up. I often say rude things _ like I would love to be with you but you have shared cooties with bottom feeders so no thanks. Cruel I know - but he cannot respond because he is sleeping.
So far the affair is a secret. Is there any truth to if you bust the secret it puts strain on the affair?
Lock your bedroom door at night.
Hey MrBond-
I tried and he almost bust the door down at night. I have to make sure my youngest is in my room too, when I go to bed as she gets up at night to sleep with me (horrible sleeper from birth.) I have the baby monitor on in kids room even though they are elementary age because H does real sleepwalking too. That is how I know when he is faking it. Real sleepwalking he looks like normal - could cook a meal or drive a car. Fake he is walking around with eyes closed and arms up like Frankenstein. One of these times he is going to tumble down the stairs. And yes he can be very dangerous when he is doing real sleepwalking. I get no rest because he sleepwalks when stressed or is doing the fake stupid thing. UGH!
Has he ever had his sleepwalking checked out? I would still lock the door.
Nope he has not had it looked at. He did find out he had sleep apnea several ago. He bought a bite card at hundreds of $$ - wore it like 3 times and gave up because it made his mouth hurt. I have encouraged him for years to get therapy. He refused bc the therapist he had as a child did not figure out that he was being abused - therefore he thinks they are a crock. He went 7 times recently. He decided to start to come back to me the month OW went back to her boyfriend and go to IC. But he quit recently. Therapist told my therapist her prying about mental issues made him uncomfortable so he quit. Great!
Ever since I have known him he has had sleepwalking issues only when stressed. Basically list 6 months have not been a picnic with sleeping. I need to get both kids in my room and lock the door. However, I go to work in the middle of the night and the kids have been safer in their room, as he does not go there. Maybe he will fall down the stairs and break a leg - so he cannot get up at night for awhile...LOL
So far the affair is a secret. Is there any truth to if you bust the secret it puts strain on the affair?
Yes, it usually does work (esp. for men, in work situations). It did for me. But it is NOT DBing, and not recommended around here. If you want, you can do some research on the various pro's and con's, and make your own decision. It's not a step to be taken likely.
More importantly, what boundaries are you putting in place for YOU? You can't control a spouse's decision to have an affair, but there ARE things you can insist upon for your own self-respect. For me, it was "no texting or phoning OM from inside our marital home," "no phoning OM in front of the kids," "no family funds used to pay for your affair" (like her cellphone, for instance), etc.
Does this other woman's husband know about their affair?
Starsky
Starsky309 (Love the name - it takes me back..LOL)
The OW does not have a husband. She is divorced - I don't know how many times. She did have a boyfriend, but that is over. The month she went back to him, was the month I got more attention from H. Now we just are roommates. So the only way to break the secret is thru work. I know he would be fired too at this point.
I keep repeating my boundaries, and he just does what he wants. It took forever just to move his things to other bathroom. I did not realize what a control freak he is until all this. Also, I think I am codependent
I don't really stand up to him as I have a passive personality, and I think I have fear of his anger. Everytime I set a boundary involving OW - he just says I am not going to do that she is just my friend. UGH!
Suggestions?
For starters, DON'T REPEAT YOUR BOUNDARIES. That only WEAKENS them, not strengthens them. If he breaks them, follow thru on whatever your stated consequences were.
Also, the book "Co-Dependent No More" is excellent. It may help you.
If you are reliant upon him for income, you need to think the exposure at work thing thru very carefully. You might be killing your own golden goose there.
Starsky
starsky 309
I just started reading the book "Co Dependent no more" a few days ago.
That is probably the problem I did not specify the consequences. I will have to think of what they should be. He is still living in the house and won't leave "He knows his rights." whatever!
I am not reliant on his income. But he is in danger of losing his job due to his crazy life right now. I am in danger of losing my job this fall because another company is buying us out. So I could end up being reliant on him or visa versa. He says he is divorcing me after his work situation is figured out.
starsky 309
I just started reading the book "Co Dependent no more" a few days ago.
That is probably the problem I did not specify the consequences. I will have to think of what they should be. He is still living in the house and won't leave "He knows his rights." whatever!
A boundary unenforced isn't a boundary. It's a "GeeIreallywishyouwouldn't."
A boundary unenforced isn't a boundary. It's a "GeeIreallywishyouwouldn't." wink
So true! I did not think of it that way. My wimpiness comes out when setting boundaries. I don't know why I am such a wimp. I should not have a problem setting boundaries - since he says he is divorcing me anyhow. What do I have to lose?
starsky - where is hutch? LOL
This is so bleeping hard. I can see why people take the easy road and get divorced. It would be easier if he did not live in same house. But then my kids would know something is wrong. I will have to read about boundaries and set at least one with a consequence. UGH!
H is OW's supervisor!!! Gee, what could go wrong there?
tld, I'll have to read this from the beginning. You are right that it is very difficult when you are in the same house. I think it is also very difficult when you are not in the same house; just a different kind of difficult.
We'll make it.
Zew-
Thanks for the insight. I cannot believe that you sleep in the same bed? I cannot even get me husband to hug, kiss, or hold my hand.
As for H and OW at work. It gets worse they are endangering people in the worst way. It really makes my moral compass go off. I want to tell, so that people can be safe. UGH - what to do?
Gabby-
No it has not always been like this. His family is quick to temper. They stomp around like 2 year olds and then they are done. Whereas my family is easy going and does not get upset.
He has always done the sleepwalking, and can be verbally nasty. He sleepwalks when stressed, which is now. The fake sleepwalking to have sex started with this whole ordeal.
The getting mad when I do things with kids is ridiculous. He was upset because we were not home when he usually calls. Ummmm that is why we have cell phones. I think he does not like losing control. Before this all happened I was a homebody and had few friends. I did not go out, I am a busy mom. It always drove him nuts that I did not have a best friend. Now it drives him nuts that I do have friends. He also is projecting his guilt on me. Accused me if cheating and lying.
I don't know, maybe there always has been abuse. I would say right now him refusing to come near me, and saying not nice things, and threatening divorce is abusive. If we ever try to reconcile, we will have a lot of work to do.
So now that I am trying to detach I find conversations are hard. I feel like I sm being a b????. Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do to overcome it?
I am feeling lots of anger towards H - this is not a common reaction to anything from me. Normally I do not have a temper. Did any of you have lots of anger? I will have to do a search on it.
I go through a rollercoaster of anger and sadness. One minute I am like "I deserve so much better than this #$&@#! And the next I ask myself why is she worth his effort/love but I am not"
It would be so much easier if I could just stick with the anger because the sadness is what makes me break the rules.
TWINMOM-
I am sorry that you are here. You must be very busy with your kids. I hope that you are feeling well with your pregnancy.
It is odd for me to be angry or mad, it is not a behavior that usually do. I am a very easy going person. When I know that H has been with OW and he comes and gives the kids hugs or kisses it literally disgusts me. I don't like him staying in spare room, but it is the best since I disgusted by the actions he is doing with OW (which he says is only a friend.) I have been detaching, but the problem is that I cannot be nice in small talk. I just am quiet and when I do give answers they are one word responses. He has noticed as he keeps asking me what is wrong. I have a lot going on with family and work right now - he keeps getting mad, saying I am keeping stuff from him. If he were home instead of at OW house all the time - I would tell him. GRRRRRR. I have realized now that I am GAL - he is controlling. Like tonight we were running errands and he must of called home 5 times and my cell 5 times in like 15 minutes looking for us. I just was very calm and said I was driving and could not answer. It is very frustrating.
I am constantly questioning lots of things: 1. is it truly MLC 2. should I break the secrecy of the affair 3.am I doing the right things 4. What are the mental issues I am seeing from H. All this is very confusing. I wish I could get a coaching session, but I don't have extra money.
Thanks scooby, I hate pregnancy. Or rather my body does, I always have very difficult pregnancies and now not having the physical help of a husband is HORRIBLE.
I wouldn't tell work about the affair if you need his $$.... sorry I can't be of more help as I am still doing things wrong myself.
Do you have all the kids? I cannot believe your H is such a jerk. I thought my H was bad. He shut down from me 6 months ago and said he is done trying. Ummmm. I did not know our marriage was in trouble. Apparently he had been trying for 10 years.
My first husband and I have 50/50 custody. And H takes the twins 2 overnights and 1 extra day..... he picks them up Thursday after work, drops them off Friday morning before work picks up again Friday after work and drops off Saturday morning. Picks them up Sunday morning and drops them off Sunday night.
Twinmom-
So do you have a day that you are kid free? My first day kid free was when my youngest went to kindergarten. My H and I have always worked opposite shifts. I would not recommend it for long, as this did not help the R or M.
I hope that you have family or good friends near to help you. What is the sex of the baby to be? Keep me posted on how things are going.
No I don't have any full days that are kid fee. I have 2 evenings/overnight and one morning kid free. I am having a girl. And I have family in the area but they aren't much help.
I was told affairs usually end within 6 mo so hopefully your husbands will follow that pattern. Your a good person to fight for your marriage. Keep telling yourself that.
Twinmom
Congrats on the girl. What is the due date? I wish that you had more help from family. Maybe some of your friends could chip in. I am never kid free, but prefer it to he that way. I am either working or with kids.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I need it as I had a monster yesterday. But today is a new day, so I am starting fresh
Now when I am blogging on my phone I am accused of texting and having an affair. But he is not when he spends sixteen hours four days a week with his bff. What a dumb arse! He us paranoid and delusional.
Well I survived most of another day! Hoping all is well with everyone! On my other post there is no way to reply to posts - what does that mean?
I hate, hate, hate that H has OW. He was a very conservative religious man - and now he has broke all commandments except murder! UGH!
Don't know why I am down in dumps today. Am hoping day will get better. It is one of those days where you lose hope and go wtf am I doing.
H continues to be curious about my GAL - but then acts like he does not care. He is basically a roommate now. He has been for over a month now. Not that I would have sex as he has been with OW and she is like McDonald's 1 billion served - yuck!
H continues to ask me if I am mad - duh! You have made my life a freaking nightmare! I think I have a right to be mad.
I am not sure if we can work this out, bc he seems like he is done with me. H is just hanging in the house until he gets situation done with then he will divorce me - per him. Kids have no idea yet - they are too young to hear about it.
Meanwhile, those that know what is going are mostly saying file for D. Ummmmmm - not ready. Besides he will be nasty if I start the ball rolling.
He was not supposed to be this way. He has done 180 from 6 months ago. I was not supposed to have an H that treated me horrible and cheated on me. Where or where has my H gone - MLC land, will he return?
Feel free to chime in, any advice appreciated, or jokes, anything? Thanks for all the support.
Refresh my memory for a bit. How was your intimacy and married life together before he got the OW? What were the issues that he had with you aside from the Crohn's disease?
MrBond-
When we first got married he went into a deep depression (long story) and he kept stretching out intimate times. Then about 1 year in marriage - he shaped up and wanted it all the time. By then my crohn's was bad due to stress. When I feel like I am not going to puke or have diarrhea I would say yes - otherwise no. The fact is that he cannot handle my illness. Now it is gone due to lack of eating for several months. Since he mentioned divorce he has been fake sleepwalking to get some, I have been saying no for awhile bc I know OW has moved to PA. We had a physical altercation about a month ago - which he started, but thinks I did - since then he says he is scared of me and does not come near me for hug or anything, just the stupid sleepwalking.
The whole situation is frustrating. In all ways he is saying he is done, but he is still here and has not filed. He says he will file when his situation is over. I don't know how to get to him. He is detached from me, and I am trying to detach. I have been having fun GAL.
Okay aside from the sex, what other marital issues did you have? I understand you mentioned the sleepwalking before and that you couldn't lock the door, but could you go to another room? What happens if you deny him sex while he's "sleepwalking"? Which I totally don't believe.
When I deny sex while sleepwalking he keeps trying until he gets too tired to come in my room. My therapist says he is doing it bc if he gets turned down does not hurt his ego as much. I would give in at first, but once OW went to PA I stopped, as I doubt he would take precautions. We have been sleeping in seperate rooms for 5 months.
He keeps saying I have changed since we dated - but does not elaborate. He says I abandoned him last 10 years along with our church. When I ask - he just gets mad me and does not give me any answers,
Have had crummy 24 hours. Starting to pull myself back up. I need a shaggy to help me..lol. H monstered today and I threw it back at him, total 180. He was shocked and it did make him stop.
Will post more later
Do any of you have problems with disgust when H/W moves to PA? I get literally sick to my stomach when H gets near kids after he has been with her. Thank goodness H does not come near me now. I am so repulsed by this. YUCK!!!
Scooby,
I literally am disgusted by the site of my h. I'm not sure that makes you feel better, but I am
. I don't "like" the feeling because it makes me think I made a horrible choice as a father to my kids. I don't know, maybe I did- I'm working through that.
Anyway, keep the focus on you. Try to laugh every day and take it one day at a time.
Georgia
Thanks for being honest. I thought I was the only evil one. I am trying to decide what to do. I am pretty sure he will be out all night with ow. I put him in his place and took control, which is a no no. He will pull 2 year old and stay out all night. Not sure if I should say oh too bad you are going to get fired we need your income. Ignore it completely. Say oh good I hope you had fun.
This [censored]. He was selfish before mlc, and now it is insane. I think I should rename mlc monster life craziness...lol.
Anyone have suggestions of what to do when dumb a stays out all night. Grrrrrrrrr
Just ignore him staying out, then you do it! Even if it means you go crash at a friends house he doesn't know that.
Georgia
Thanks for being honest. I thought I was the only evil one. I am trying to decide what to do. I am pretty sure he will be out all night with ow. I put him in his place and took control, which is a no no. He will pull 2 year old and stay out all night. Not sure if I should say oh too bad you are going to get fired we need your income. Ignore it completely. Say oh good I hope you had fun.
This [censored]. He was selfish before mlc, and now it is insane. I think I should rename mlc monster life craziness...lol.
Anyone have suggestions of what to do when dumb a stays out all night. Grrrrrrrrr
You allow him to stay out all night with another woman, and then just come back home any time he pleases? Sorry, I haven't been following your sitch. Definitely sounds like you need to put some healthy boundaries in place.
Starsky
Just ignore him staying out, then you do it! Even if it means you go crash at a friends house he doesn't know that.
Don't they have kids?
He came home around 4. I don't want yo stay out all night because he keeps telling me he is gaining evidence on me. There is nothing to gain on.
Starsky- he is claiming they are only friends. If he did stay out all night he would lie about where he was of coarse. Ay this point there is no way to set boundaries. He wants a divorce and won't leave the house, he says he knows his rights. I did get him yo move his toothbrush. I am not sure what to do. I have a thread in mlc too. That one has more stuff. Scan it and see what you think. I seriously need help.
Do YOU know what his rights are? Have you talked to an atty about it? If you fear for your safety, for instance, you could get a temporary order to have him barred from the premises. In any event, there are ALWAYS ways to set boundaries, Scooby -- you don't just have to let him walk all over you.
When my wife was having her affair (7 years ago; we have since reconciled), she came home once about 11pm after saying she'd be home much earlier than that. So I said something like "I was worried about you; if you're going to be much later than what you had anticipated, please just call or text me and let me know." Then, the next time she said she would be home around 11 and didn't come home until after 2am. So I shut of all the lights in the house, locked everything up, and turned the house security system on.
She got the message, and never did it again.
This is your marital home, not a motel. You can't stop him from having an affair, but you can -- and should -- lay some boundaries that would be more emotionally healthy for you and your children.
Starsky
Starsky-
I did set the same boundary and locked the house tight. But he just does whatever he wants. He does not text or call and when I say I was worried - he smarts off don't worry about me, we are no longer together, I want a divorce.
I have been mowed over even on simple boundaries. I am still thinking about what I could do to make a stand that he will listen to. I welcome suggestions too.
I basically can do nothing as far as his rights. I have no proof of the craziness. I am waiting for him to step over the line, and then I will have proof. I also don't want to make him mad because he will seek revenge majorily. We have kids together, and he will divorce me and make it nasty. But I do need to talk to a lawyer again. I always have more questions, and then call another lawyer for free consult.
OK, but a strong word of advice. As long as this:
I also don't want to make him mad because he will seek revenge majorily. We have kids together, and he will divorce me and make it nasty.
is your mindset, you're going to continue to get walked all over. The fear is debilitating, and until you lose it, you're going to be stuck. Divorces are BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS, sadly, and you have to treat it as such. Ours is an adversarial legal system, and there's a reason why they put that little "v" between the names of the two parties.
Appeasement NEVER works. EVER.
Starsky
Starsky-
You bring up an intersting point. At first H said he wanted a divorce but was staying for kids, because I was not ready for D, and because he wanted us to be friends. The next reason was that I was pretty sick from all the stress so he could not leave me (yeah right! OW went back to boyfriend at that time.) Now it is that he will not divorce until his situation is figured out. UGH!! I hate this all.
Yes, I am very passive and have never had a backbone. It is hard to get when you have lived half your life without it. If I stand up to him - monster comes out more often. If I just let him do his own thing, we don't fight. The way I have been getting a backbone is GAL - going out with kids. H does not like it because we are not at home when he expects. I am normally a home body.
I have posted in MLC too. He is doing all the behaviors and fits the age, but does not seem to get angry like MLC unless provoked. I saw the monster a lot in the beginning because I did all the wrong things. I have this fear that he just does not want me anymore and it is not MLC, bipolar, or something else. He definately is on a rollercoaster. But there was a time in the past he completely changed his life because he was so into a girl. He seems to be morphing himself to his OW (but does not admit she is OW.)
UGH!!! I am sure whiney yesterday and today. Sorry. Believe it or not, I am better than I used to be. Found this site about a month ago, and it has helped tremendously.
Has anyone gained and used evidence for affair? If so, what evidence did you get?
My W did. She downloaded cell phone records to prove to me and our family that I was texting ow hundreds/thousands of times. Hope that's what you were asking?
When she was still trying to save our marriage i argued the fact that we can't move forward if she was going to keep the past in her hip pocket to always hold over me. Obviously said to convince her to burn them. At that time I was faking/manipulating or something. Now I truly don't know what was in my head. Yes I had ea and was caught red handed. Like book says be sure you wanna know in case it's worse than you think.
Is the records showing phone calls and text enough? It just shows numbers, not the content of the text. My H went from 50 texts a month to 12,000 this last month. And like 11,000 were to OW. Would that be enough to fry h and OW butt if needed? I am guessing the content could be subpeoned - which would completely toast both of them.
I am not going to do anything now. I just want to pick up stuff just in case. There are some very strange turn of events lately. My life continues to be more days of our lives soap opera than I would like.
Dipstick told me that he wants to watch OW relative that is a kid tomorrow and she can have fun playing with our kids. Just so you know - he claims they are only friends. I said I don't think so. He asked me why. I said because that is his life only and I don't want the kids around it. so far he has killed every boundary I have tried to set. UGH!!! I see there being a battle this weekend! HELP??/ ADVICE??
"Dipstick told me that he wants to watch OW relative that is a kid tomorrow and she can have fun playing with our kids."
I'm unclear about one thing. Are you trying to save your M? If you are, being disrespectful to your H (even if he is an @$$) by calling him a Dipstick, etc. is not going to do anything but build resentment in you.
The reason why he's with the OW right now is because he feels respected by her. Do you think he would go back to you after you call him names or think he's an idiot? Would YOU go back to someone like that?
If you think he's that dumb, then why do you want to reconcile? Might as well file the papers yourself.
Dodged a bullet today. H wanted to have OW relative around my kids. I told him no and he asked why - I waited to gain myself and said bc that is his life and I will not have it around my kids.
If you have not read my thread he is MLC, wanting a divorce but has not filed, living in same house but different rooms, we are basically roommates. Oh yeah - has not admitted to EA and PA - they are just friends.
H brought up the relative thing last night, and I kept the kids busy today. H went with us saying he did not know if he wanted to go - but decided the last minute to go (this is a pattern with him since this whole nightmare.) Today I was mad and just wanted to kick his butt, but I played nice. We had lots of small talk. H is not going to OW house as much last week - I wonder why.
Did anyone hire a private investigator? I already know it is a EA and PA. But I am wondering what kind of evidence I would get to make it a slam dunk there is an affair. H could lose job because of affair, at that point I could attack H and OW legally for emotional distress and finances.
Any information would be great!
Scooby,
I've posted my thoughts to your ^^ comments in your thread. I think you're walking on the wrong path right there.
Wonka-
Thanks. I am having a hard time. I go through moments where I am ok, and the other moments where I am pissed and want to crucify H and OW. How sad is that? I wonder if anyone else has such extreme feelings as me? I am all over the place.
Thankfully, I have never acted on impulse. I think things our forever before I make a decision. Has always drove my H nuts. But I don't like to have regrets. H has always been impulsive.
Wonka - did you end up reconciling?
I guess you don't need my advice. Good luck to you.
Mr. Bond-
I always need advice. I have not learned to completely detach, and things upset me. I cannot seem to get off the roller coaster ride and watch from afar. I also have a hard time distancing myself. Although, from what I can tell H has detached from me. He is very much into OW, that he does not notice anything else. I am stronger than I was a few months ago, but still need to get stronger. I think of filing, getting him in trouble, and then reconilliatoion. It is crazy how the mind circles. What did you do to calm your mind and ground yourself?
"What did you do to calm your mind and ground yourself?"
GAL
Wonka-
Thanks. I am having a hard time. I go through moments where I am ok, and the other moments where I am pissed and want to crucify H and OW. How sad is that? I wonder if anyone else has such extreme feelings as me?
Wonka - did you end up reconciling?
We all experience very, very raw emotions in the beginning stages and want to HURT
Computer had a mind of its own....grrrr...continuing with my response
We all experience very, very raw emotions in the beginning stages of our sitches and want to HURT the OW/OM because we blame them for disrupting our marriages, lives, and families. Here's the thing: our spouses are also to blame for the mess too! The key is controlling your emotions and reactions. Your head really needs to be in charge otherwise your ego can really do you harm by egging you on negative actions.
Reconciliation for me? Nope.
Mr. Bond and Wonka-
Thanks so much for your responses. It would be cool if GAL and detachment was as easy as saying the words.
I continue to try and do see changes in me from the beginning.
what would getting him fired from his job accomplish? out of curiosity?
and
don't be so sure it would get them fired. My ex was sleeping with his employee. He was also smoking pot with her. He was not fired until criminal charges were filed against him. And...I did not tell anyone anything from work.
if you are looking for monetary awards...how will getting him fired accomplish this?
if you are looking at reconciling...how will getting him fired accomplish this?
look at the end goal
decide what it is
work toward that
Figgeroni-
I know that you are right. The one problem is that some things that are being done are endangering others. I have a hard time overlooking it.
I am just so frustrated and angry this week. H is deep in MLC and OW and still lives in our house, different room. I just don't know what to do, so I can ignore OW. I have been detaching and GAL - but detaching from the EA and PA is so hard.
Any suggestions, jokes, comfort would be great!!!!
My h is thinking with wrong head. He keeps getting deeper with ow, still claiming just friends.ugh
Ugh! The nonsense continues and he is deeper and deeper with OW. I guess it needs to run its coarse. I keep hearing I want a divorce when my situation is over. Not sure if he means it. I am not quite ready to file, I should be but am not. I don't want to file until 100% ready, or I will regret it for a lifetime.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. I have more details on situation in mid life crisis blog.
H came how after work last night. Only to play video games with ow. I don't think he knows I figured that out. H still has not admitted he has ow, they are just friends. He must think I am stupid. I feel like breaking the secrecy of the ea and pa, but then he could be fired...ugh. Ow is divorced, so it is not like I could tell her husband. Has anyone out there broke the secret? How did it go?
You could always tell him "I have decided that I'm no longer going to lie to cover up your affair."
Mrbond if you are around chime in. I have some questions.
Good idea starsky. H won't admit he is having affair to me either. As far as I can tell he has told no one. H is starting to believe his lies. I think in his mind they are just friends. H had strong morals before maybe it is a way to deal with guilt.
If any of you belong to heros spouse pm me and I will give you more details of what is going on - it is interesting stuff and I need advice. Too dangerous for me to post in forum as it would give me away.
who would it give you away to?
is your husband on this forum too?
Not yet, but H has been nosy about everything I do. He actually has been spying on me when he can, and some of it is illegal.
H said I went to the movie alone and don't have any receipts BC it was free. How did he convince ow to pay for the date? She is dumber than I thought...ugh