Disagreements on article in the Huffington Post

Hi Michele:

I just read that article in the Huffington Post you wrote about extramarital affairs.
In my opinion you might be wrong in some cases:

-the intimacy in the marriage is long gone (like 8 years)
-the woman has admitted she does not like sex

So by advocating the tenets of the article you are condemning the other partner to a life of unsatisfacion if he/she is to remain married.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs definitely requires sexual intimacy for a fulfilled individual. What you propose shorts the unsatisfied partner.

The article I read was on The Truth About Emotional Affairs.

MWD does not advocate divorce, she believe that most marriages can be saved.

Are you advocating divorce?
I guess I would not agree with YOU either.

This is after all a DIVORCE BUSTING site.

@Cerulean - Michele also has a book about "The Sex Starved Marriage" and how to deal with it - not by giving up on intimacy, but how to restore intimacy when it is lacking or when one spouse has lower desire. read Michele's book about it. also, there is a chapter about it in "Divorce Remedy", and there is a section here in the forum about it.

Hi too trusting: I read her book. Unfortunately she doesn't know my wife.

I have adopted a passive life by realizing that my frustrations (with her) come from my (unfulfilled)expectations of her. I have decided to let go of these expectations and remain cordial.

Don't think I'm stupid, as I did talk to her about my needs (intimacy, sex). She just shrugged them away.

And by the way, I am a great person, husband and father. At least so say the hundreds of people that know me.

Cerulean,

You need to reach Michele's Sex-Starved Marriage. She not only does NOT advocate that the high-desire spouse remain in a sexless marriage, staking out a position of "I will not remain in a sexless marriage" is a CENTRAL TENET of the book.

Yes, she does teach that one partner has to "go first," as it were, and that by making your own changes, the other partner will have to respond. And I don't necessarily AGREE with that, based on my own marriage and my observations of other "mismatched libido" marriages over the years, but to say that MWD advocates simply remaining in a sexless marriage would be unfair.

Starsky

Hi Starsky

Thanks for your input. I have tried to be intimate. No effect.

We have a good relationship, it's just that sex and intimacy are off the table for her.

I feel your pain, bro.

Originally Posted By: Cerulean

Hi too trusting: I read her book. Unfortunately she doesn't know my wife.

I have adopted a passive life by realizing that my frustrations (with her) come from my (unfulfilled)expectations of her. I have decided to let go of these expectations and remain cordial.

Don't think I'm stupid, as I did talk to her about my needs (intimacy, sex). She just shrugged them away.

And by the way, I am a great person, husband and father. At least so say the hundreds of people that know me.

"I have adopted a passive life"... You got it right. By remaining in a situation where one so close to you is able to unfairly treat you for so long does kind of remake your constitution. It does break a part of yourself, and being forced to live without sex, intimacy and any other reasonable relationship need makes you compromise a part of yourself that you know that you should not. It's not good for your mind.