How can WAS put themselves before their children?

[WalkbyFaith]

How can a WAS leave when there are children involved? I just don't get it. My children mean everything to me and I would never do anything to potentially hurt them, such as walking out, unless ALL other avenues had been exhausted. So how can a WAS, much less a F WAS, just leave? I understand physical abuse, but that doesnt' seem to be a common thread to WAS's.

[cantbreathe]

I am struggling with the same thoughts. My H hasn't left, but says he sometimes thinks about it. It makes me crazy. I don't understand either. (hug)

[WalkbyFaith]

I am struggling with the same thoughts. My H hasn't left, but says he sometimes thinks about it. It makes me crazy. I don't understand either. (hug)

If you find the answer let me know. We are sharing custody of our kids, but she isn't spending any quality time with them, picking them up late from daycare, etc. My kids want to come here full time, but my MC says I don't need to make life easy for my WAS right now.

[Dia]

I can't help with this one. When I left, I took the kidlet with me. H was having alcohol problems at the time, so I thought kidlet would be far better off with me.

[Augtan]

I have no idea!! I have been asking the same question for a year!! My H was a great husband and father till he laid eyes on a wh**e from his work!! Now we live in Ohio and he is still in Georgia with her. He barley calls the kids, never sees them, says he "might" come up for one of our son's football games!! Before he was a coach and never would miss a minute of their sports, never missed a minute of any of the important stuff sports or other. Now his whole life is her and only her!! It breaks my heart each and every day for my kids, they go from having this Dad who cares to one that only cares about himself. I had no choice but to move away, the pain that he chose her over us was unbearable, then I needed a full-time job and support from my family, all here in Ohio. I have no idea how he looks himself in the mirror thinking he is anything but awful for chosing a woman like that over us. I know if the tables were turned, I would move where ever he took my kids, to the other end of the earth to be near them, I would never miss a moment of their life for anyone, no one is more important than they are!!

[Stronger]

I think it's just one of those things many don't understand....sort of like when you hear those crazy stories involving murder....you just don't get it.

[antlers]

WAS's are probably the most selfish, self-centered people on this planet. This comes from Sandi, who was almost a WAS herself.

[Bridgestone]

wow.. great supportive thread you've got going here for WAS.

LBS's whine about wanting to know what's going on in our heads and then roll out the welcome mat like this??

It was "LBS script" like this that kept me in lurking mode & from initially, & more recently, posting for months. I know several WAW or AWAW that were active on DB & have now gone 'underground' because of threads and postings like this one.

The purpose of THIS particular forum on DB is for the WAS to find support and share the R experience from OUR perspective, as we work through our own issues, much like the ENTIRE rest of the board is for the LBS to work through and share their experience with support.

If more WAS felt comfortable posting here & finding the level of support given to LBS, instead of the vilification this particular thread seems to offer, maybe they could move forward in a more healthy way

Self-preservation/selfish... different sides of the same coin.

DB is about saving yourself first. The WAS just got a jump on it.


Peace
Bridge

[antlers]

Sorry Bridgestone...you're right. As you said, this particular forum is "for the WAS to find support and share the R experience from OUR perspective, as we work through our own issues, much like the ENTIRE rest of the board is for the LBS to work through and share their experience with support."

Although it is very helpful for us LBS to try to understand things better by reading and learning from people such as yourself...we need to remember what you said above.

I apologize.

[dday101798]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I appreciate the imput of EVERY WAS who has posted or commented on any of my threads or any one else for that matter to help me understand what I will probably never know first hand as to why my XW has done what she has.

And for nay-saying LBS's, take Bridge's post to thought, quit bashing all WAS out of frustration of your own. I know I was guilty of it at one point myself and after seeing the err of my ways and the help and insight I received from several WAS do my best to never lump my personal feelings against any other.