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#2648496 01/30/16 07:25 AM
Joined: May 2010
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My wife has filed for divorce after 10 years of marriage.
She has been preparing herself for this for a year now and I finally understood that I needed to change when she said that she had had enough. I had a problem with porn online which I have stopped viewing and have started attending therapy. I have improved my parenting skills and act happier every time I am with my wife.
She wants me to move out as she wants to heal and move on with her life. She says she fell out of love with me and I was a bad husband. She doesn't want to work on the marriage or attend counselling but we at least talk about the kids and are ok in each other's company and I compliment her about what she is wearing and that I appreciate her. I feel that underneath she is resenting me being around but I cannot leave until I have more money put aside.

I feel that she has developed an action plan with the divorce papers being point 1 and me leaving point 2. She says she just wants to be happy and has no intention of dating anyone short term. I know she is hurting for what I have done and compares herself to the women in the videos but she won't accept any reassurances that it was not about her and that she is beautiful.

I feel that this situation is steam rolling towards her resolve but would love to know if there is away to slow this down and get her to look at me differently and eventually trust me again.


I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
Joined: Nov 2009
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I suggest that you re-post your story at newcomers there is more traffic there and you will get more advice


Me-70, D37,S36
Joined: Jun 2014
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Agreed with Cadet. Stick to newcomers.

Read the 37 rules. Believe none of what she says and half of what she does. You can't understand her because she doesn't understand herself.

An example of this is you thinking that if porn was the issue, somehow quitting porn will make it better. That's not going to work. You are fixated on a certain outcome, but you can't control her. This question:

would love to know if there is away to slow this down and get her to look at me differently and eventually trust me again.

The answer is no. There is no way you can get her to do anything. The hardest part about marriage is you can't control your partner, and you can't always get what you want in life. It's hard, scary, and painful.

What you can do is live in a way that is true to what you believe. That is all you can do. And if you do that you open the door for good things to come your way. What that looks like no one can promise, but in the end life marches on, you have to decide how you want to do your part.

Please repost on newcomers and hang in.


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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