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twolf Offline OP
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Went dark on WAW and she started calling saying that son2 wants to talk and leaving messages. She even started calling my mom to let her talk to son.She has been vary mean in pass then started being nice and asking favors and saying thank you. Ive been getting out of arguments on the phone and she says sorry i didnt realize that i was doing that and this all in the last week of me going dark. Our D is set for June 18 butt she has not done the things that the judge wants her to do. please help with any more advice aneone??????


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 83
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Does going dark bring you less stress?
Does going dark ease you mind?
Does going dark bring you peace?
Does going dark let you focus more on YOU?
If the answer is yes to any of these....
Then yes, it is working.


was theotherhalf
M43
H43
M22 T25
MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07
D6/09
Still trying to accept and move on...
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twolf Offline OP
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yes and it makes her treat me better when i do take her calls and texts.


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 221
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twolf Offline OP
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WAW wife tryed calling so i could talk to son2 voice mail was full,butt i didnt answer then she texted to let me know that son2 wanted to call. It friday night at seven.


Hope this is a good start to going dark.

I would usally take phone call right away.

Think i will wait till sonday!


If any one has any advice i could use it????????


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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NO! This is your son we're talking about. You go dark on your W if she wants to talk to you about ordinary stuff. But this is your son. Take the call.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Good way to handle it though twolf, (iMO) let her leave a VM, then if YOU think it's IMPORTANT, return the call. Otherwise let it not matter.

I agree with Bond though, if it is child related you can't ignore that. But I also know that the WAS can and will use the children to get what they want. So really be smart.


was theotherhalf
M43
H43
M22 T25
MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07
D6/09
Still trying to accept and move on...
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 221
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twolf Offline OP
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WAW called last night to let me talk so son2 butt i was out working on yard called back 45 min after she called.


She wouldnt answer and tex back that he was asleep.

Then she texeted she had a cold.


She is staying at MIL house, ive noticed that she only returns phone calls when MIL is not around


found out that MIL is trash talking me thourgh mutall freinds and wife sits their and says notheing. Pretty sad when MIL was the problem to begin with Im totaly being gaundi to her even now i know what she has been saying.


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 221
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twolf Offline OP
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I backslid wife started being nice and wondering what i was up to then i started texting and she shut down again.


Me 37
Waw 32
son2
bomb 8/11/09
O/M 12/25/09
Divorce filed 8/25/09
divorce finale 6/16/10
Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10
Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 38
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Posts: 38
Thank you Old TheOtherHalf for the below. If you're not on here anymore I hope your life is going well.

Does going dark bring you less stress?
Does going dark ease you mind?
Does going dark bring you peace?
Does going dark let you focus more on YOU?
If the answer is yes to any of these....
Then yes, it is working.

Yes, it is definitely working for me. Thanks, again, for the advice.


M: 48 (2nd marriage)
W: 47 (1st marriage)
T: 22
M: 21
D (M, 1st Marriage: 26)
D (M, 1st Marriage: 24)
S: 18
EA: 31 Dec 2004
ILYBINILWY: 31 Dec 2004
In all things give thanks to God; I thank you God.

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