W just called abit ago, new drama on top of old. Seems W and D11 stopped at the Ice Cream store and D11 said there's Grandpa's car (my dad). W said I doubt it there are alot of those cars around. W sends D11 into the Ice Cream store so she could get a cone, well low and behold it was my dad and he totally ignored W when he came out.
D11 comes out about in tears, W asked what was wrong? D11 said I told you it was Grandpa and he didn't even talk to me and I was lookin right at him. D11 says it felt like I was invisible.
W starts gettin loud saying I don't care how they treat me, but their own Granddaughter WTF is up with that? I said I don't know. W & my rents have had their ups & downs in the past. I have always backed my W when it came to these kinda things. Now it's one thing to snub my W but to ignore your Ganddaughter is just wrong. So I got pissed and said that is BS. W says what have you told them about the sitch. I said all I told them was that you were moving out and that we both had done somethings to get it to this point period.
W said this on top of everything else it's not worth it. I went outside of the box and said wait a minute, this is not about our R, my parents have nothing to do with us, and I will be damned if I allow my Daughter to get disrespected like that let alone my W. She said I didn't call to get you upset I just wanted you to know what happened, I said I appreciate that but this goes beyond acceptableness it's 1 thing if it were you I know you can handle yourself and will speak your mind but I don't give a damn who it is noone will do that to my daughter.
I said I will handle this, W said maybe it would be best just to let it lie all your dad will do is deny it anyway.
I am torn on this, if I do something about it then I disrespect W's wishes if I don't then I feel like I didn't stand up for my Daughter...
Brian, IMHO, you defend your daughter. I would ask your dad what that was about and let him know that it is unacceptable for him to treat his granddaughter that way. Your wife is a big girl and can defend herself, but your daughter is your responsibility.
You handled it well my friend.......With the wife.....
I agree with SFA, you need to stand up for your D and make it known that this is total BS to ignore her. Tell them she has nothing to do with the sitch and that she is their granddaughter!
Yeah, agree again. You are not really going against your W's wishes to say something to your dad. He was out of line IMO and I've personally told all my family to treat my W and my boys as they would without all this, it's not worth the knock on affect like you have experienced here.
Your W was venting, you listened, empaphised and agreed with her which maybe shocked her into backing down and telling you to let it lie. You can address this in a non confrontational way anyway and hear your dads side, but you must stick up for D11 IMO.
Brian, IMHO, you defend your daughter. I would ask your dad what that was about and let him know that it is unacceptable for him to treat his granddaughter that way. Your wife is a big girl and can defend herself, but your daughter is your responsibility.
You handled it well my friend.......With the wife.....
hey Brian, think you can DB your Dad and do this with no Emotion?? I think you should say something but say it in a non confrontational way and you should wait a day or two before talking to him.
My reasoning for waiting and doing it in a non confrontatinal manner?? This could be a trigger...you're worked up a bit. W is worked up a bit, D is worked up a bit..hell grandpa may be worked up too. Think about how you want to approach the talk before acting..
I still think you're doing good.
I hope you are taking care of "business". Steer away from any R talk at the moment.
Call HER in a few days and see how she's doing. Listen. Share how much this bothered you, but that you respected what she was saying. Talk about what the appropriate JOINT response would be. That way you are working together as a couple, which is your goal.
Your dad's actions (or her perception of them) is a perfectly WRONG way to allow anger and frustration out.
Just listen to her. It's not the time for the nifty spandex super hero costume.
That was my take on it also, W is a big girl and has handled things with my parents before, but a defenseless 11 yr old I just can't believe my dad would do that.
Maybe after that it sunk in that I am always there for my kids, and not the bad father she has made me out to be in the past.
