I liked the name of my last thread so want to go with it again. Thannks to Gypsy for creating the adorable endearment "Ms. Imp" and coining the term "Magic Kumquat".
Thanks, cookie and Karen for your advice about dinner. I did end up sending him a text letting him know we didn't have much in the house food-wise and that he might want to pick something up. He just called and asked if I wanted anything. I politely declined.
It's so hard to be here. I just want to be out of this home already. I used to feel sad about leaving the house we picked out together with excitement and love, but now I'm just looking forward to moving on and creating the best version of me I possibly can.
I read someone else's thread that posted about adult children of alcoholic parents and identified with much on the list of "symptoms". I have come such a long way from where I was early this year, but I never want to stagnate and have so much more I'd like to accomplish.
Have a happy Saturday night all.
xoxooxoxxxooxoxoxoxo, Ms. Imp
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I wonder if he might eventually open up and let all that is bottled up within him out.
I dont know much about Chinese culture in regards to marriage and divorce. Are his parents still around? I wonder if he is going to be shamed or lose face for not having a successful M. It may be that he tries to put blame for the fallout of your M on you when he discusses it with others. All you can do is disregard the gossip and move on with creating happiness and a better version of yourself. You need to be like the rebirth of the Phoenix.
My kids were playing a game at dinner tonight where they went through the alphabet and tried to name a food for each letter. They were stumped when they got to K. I remembered your thread title and helped them out.
For the record, the horse manure was dry on the outside. It was the thrill of making a direct hit and having the softer stuff on the inside stick. We were boys. My mom can still remember the horror of going through my brothers pockets before putting his pants in the washer and pulling out a handfull of baby garter snakes. The neighborhood kids and us did not need video games back then when there was an electric fence just down the street or bugs to burn with magnifying glasses. And when Oregon created the country's first deposit bottle law, we were some of the first to dig through garbage cans to scrounge out one cent bottles.
It doesn't matter if it was wet or dry on the outside. You were still flinging manure at each other.
I didn't have video games either. And electric fences?! magnifying glasses?! How we longed for such luxuries. No, we made do with just an old twig for a toy and we were glad to have it!
Ms. Imp - you take yourself out for dinner every night until you move. He's a jackass. Either that or make yourself a hearty and satisfying risotto and then open a can of spaghetti-o's and set it on his plate.
I know about leaving the house - I was only in mine for 1.5 years! And as I've said before, I thought I'd lose my mind before I finally got out. But it was oh so much better after that!
It doesn't matter if it was wet or dry on the outside. You were still flinging manure at each other.
I didn't have video games either. And electric fences?! magnifying glasses?! How we longed for such luxuries. No, we made do with just an old twig for a toy and we were glad to have it!
Ms. Imp - you take yourself out for dinner every night until you move. He's a jackass. Either that or make yourself a hearty and satisfying risotto and then open a can of spaghetti-o's and set it on his plate.
I know about leaving the house - I was only in mine for 1.5 years! And as I've said before, I thought I'd lose my mind before I finally got out. But it was oh so much better after that!
lodo
I agree with Lodo. I know he was a good guy at the beginning but holy crap this guy is out there now. I agree just get it over with and move on..don't even look back.
and as you leave take a pistol and blow that frinkin lock off that box..it's time to see what is inside that bad boy..
Hey (((GFI))) you don't know any Sicilian jokes because those that tell them tend to disappear...fugedaboudit! Capice?
The dinner thing is up to you. I probably wouldn't make it for him, let him continue to see the consequences of his choices. Hes a tough one Girl. It was nice to read about the "Italian Eye Candy" but its good that you are clear he is only a "friend" because I think Major Playa is probably an UNDERSTATEMENT!
You sound pretty good, all things considered. Just keep taking care of yourself and doing what you do best...being your own wonderful self. (((hugs))) Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I dont know much about Chinese culture in regards to marriage and divorce.
Kerry, the Chinese culture is very dedicated to family. Family is everything. I thought he would do whatever possible to avoid the shame of divorce, but apparently he is too angry. I'm prepared for him to shift the blame to me... in fact, I think he truly believes all the blame does indeed belong to me. He has never taken any responsibility for where we are today. It's OK. It doesn't matter what he or anyone else thinks. It's what I KNOW in my heart that matters.
His mom's sister is in the middle of a very ugly divorce. But she's CRAZY and everyone knows it. She's married to a Danish guy. Maybe races aren't meant to mix... Although, I prefer to think of Viktor Frankl's quote (paraphrased), "There are only two races of people. Those who are decent and those who are not."
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Leave a can of spaghetti-o's on his plate, and hide the can opener....
Cute idea. He's resourceful and a survivor and would figure out a way to open the can.
One of the things that made me fall for him was his survival skills. When he was a small school boy, he was the only Chinese student in an all Muslim school. Every day the bigger boys would harass him and beat him up. He started asking his mom to pack him a spam sandwich for lunch. When the boys would show up for their daily beating of him, he started pulling apart the sandwich and dropping into a circle around him. Muslims can't touch pork - if they do they have to go through a 7 day cleansing ritual (or something like that). He did this a few times and even threw a piece of spam at one of the boys and they never bothered him again.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
