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#2240236 04/24/12 12:09 AM
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After 3 years of a SSM, my wife collapsed. After a battery of test it was discovered that she has Iron deficiency anemia. Basically, low Iron levels, resulting in a whole host of problems. The side effects are shortness of breath, tiredness, and lack of sex drive!

I grew extremely frustrated, even after SSM that nothing was working. My insisting she go to the doctor fell on deaf ears, she had to fall before she got up.

I am sad she is ill, and worried about her health. I feel a little more selfish and like a horse's butt these days. I thought she didn't love me, was cheating on me and a host of other reasons. In reality her body was sick and nobody knew it. It wasn't her fault or my fault, it just is what it is.

Now that we know what is going on, we can get her healthy, and when her blood levels and iron levels return to normal, so should she.

That's why I am happy, but sad today.

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Originally Posted By: Arkansasguy
My insisting she go to the doctor fell on deaf ears, she had to fall before she got up.

I hope that this is her rock bottom and now she will head back up.
Everything you learned is not a waste of time,
do not stop your changes.
Changes are for you.


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I'm glad you're making some head way, just keep this in mind. My W 2 months ago saw a doctor, he changed her birth control to see if it would help her feel better. Within days the changes were readily appearant. We've had some of the best times in our marriage.

That being said we're on our third month since the change and we still have a long way to go. For one we are still in an ssm. The trust is not there, and there are a lot of unhealed wounds.

We are working hard, but have lots of backsliding. Additionally I had done a lot of changes a month or two before the medicine change. So I don't think the medicine alone did it but more a combination of factors have set it up so that we can choose happiness when there was no choice before.

Nonetheless ther are still mental road blocks we must surpass.

The last thing I have to say is to be careful what you wish for. Her desires may return but not for you. She may find herself desiring others. This could be because she is too resentful, because you let yourself go physically, or maybe you're just not acting in a manner that would be sexy for a man.

So just be ready and be patient.

"just because you're no longer were you were, doesn't mean you have reached your destination"

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Well....after 2 days of more doctor visits...we have found out this is not a one shot deal. The wife must take a B12 shot weekly...for life. She gets to do an iron infusion once a week, for the next month till they re-evaluate next month.

I'll just quote her...it's easier...

Quote:
They say the reason for my low blood and iron is because I do not absorb minerals and vitamins the way I should so I will have to have b12 injections every week for the rest of my life and I will have to have iron transfusions for the rest of my life also starting once every week until levels are up then he will adjust depend on how long they stay up after each transfusion. I go back in 30 days to have my liver levels tested again and if still up they may have to do a liver biopsy. If down then probably caused from a virus. Because I have the b12 and iron problem together, he said over the next week my blood levels will drop even further before they start to go up so the next week will be really rough and I will feel really bad and have no energy. Go back next Thursday for next transfusion. All we know for now.


She will feel worse before she feels better. ETA is at least a month before any improvements are expected. Although we are still SSM... I now know why, and can see why what happened did. I can understand why all the 180's etc weren't working.

On a positive note she did record and watch that show "7 days of sex" on lifetime. I'm still on the sidelines....so we'll see what happens.

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AK Guy -
Your wife will start feeling dramatically better once this is fixed.

BUT - if the doctors don't know WHY she isn't absorbing iron and B12 - I suggest you consider celiac disease or gluten sensitivity. (A common problem where an autoimmune reaction to gluten in wheat and other grains, causes inflammation of the small bowel, resulting in poor absorption, especially of B12 and iron!). The treatment is simply to eat a gluten-free diet - no wheat, rye, spelt, barley.

Her doctors may have already tested her for celiac disease - but I caution you, even if the test was negative, she still might be gluten sensitive and benefit from a gluten-free diet.

An excellent book on B12 deficiency is called Could It Be B12? I highly recommend you both read it - once you do, you'll know more than most doctors do about B12 deficiency. (I'm a doctor, I know).

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Oh, and btw - the elevated liver enzymes can also be caused by celiac disease. Again, fixable by a gluten-free diet.


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