So I haven't posted about my situation in quite a while. Probably because things are going pretty well for me save a couple of things.
One issue is that my exw is still very angry. We have been separated for over 2 years and divorced almost 1 but whenever things come up where we need to work together it's still a battle. For example we still have this house which is a huge burden to me. After the mortgage and CS get paid I almost no money to live on. Exw insisted that I move out of the house with my 2 dogs (both of them were her's too until they became inconvenient) because the house doesn't show well with dogs living there. I objected because #1 she isn't willing to share the expense of maintaining the house when I move out, and #2 its an unfair burden on my mother to have me + 2 dogs in her spotless house. Last week I moved out in the interest of getting rid of this albatross of a house. I told her that if the house wasn't on the market my June 1st I will stop paying the mortgage and we will default. She will get nothing. I also asked her to come get a key when she picked up D. Well as you may have predicted NOTHING has happened. She didn't ask for a key and she didn't even acknowledge my email.
Does anybody know what happens if you default on a mortgage? Would I ever be able to get another loan? I REALLY don't want to do this but I am so far in debt at this point that I'm not sure I have any other options.
The other thing that is getting to me is that exw is apparently saying some not so nice things to my D about me and my GF. It started with D not wanting to talk to GF even though they had been close, D used to love seeing GF and would even follow her around an talk to her on the days when I had D. That came to an abrupt halt a few weeks ago. And when I asked D why she didn't like GF anymore she said "because mommy doesn't like her. Mommy doesn't want to see GF" I was blown away. My GF has done NOTHING to exw, but exw still has enough of a problem with her to trash her to D? GF didn't come along until it was OVER between me and exw. exw was on to her second relationship after her 1st om kicked her to the curb. Yet somehow she has a problem with GF? I didn't want to confuse D so I didn't argue or tell her 'mommy was wrong'. Eventuall she warmed back up to GF and things are pretty much the way they had been with them.
Then this past weekend D said to me out of the blue "mommy says daddy is bad" then she did an imitation of exw huffing in frustration.
Again I don't want to confuse D but I just asked her if she thought I was 'bad'. At first she said I was but after I reminded her of all of the fun things we do together she finally decided "daddy is not bad"
Does anyone have any experience with this type of behavior? Any advice?
Honestly you would think that I was the WAS and I was the one screwing around.
Maybe that's it... maybe she has told the story so many times with herself in the victim role that she has started to believe it. But regardless its been over 2 years. you would think that the bitterness would be gone, and the need to vilify me would have been resolved.
All I can say is I wish you luck Silver. I have been seperated from my H of 25 years since Aug.07 and divorced since Jul.09. He made it out that I was the WAS as well. Even though everybody in the country new the real truth. Up until this last November he would leave me alone for awhile then he would either call me crying or harassing me wanting more money or something. Now I have not heard or seen anything out of him. It's like I never existed. And we were together for 25 years. We were the best of friends. I'll never understand any of it. Do you your best to hold your head up high. Go forward Silver and make your life the best for YOU regardless of what she says, or thinks, or does. Good luck!
Was theotherhalf XH44 M44 D19 Married 21years Together 23 Bomb 4/07 OW - MLC Seperated 8/07 DV 6/09 New Day....
Hi Sliver! Just dropping by and I saw your post. I've been in the same sitch too, with lots of anger after 2 years of separation and one year after the D. In fact, he's actually gotten angrier and less cooperative since the D. My theory, and I could be totally wrong, is that your x and mine are probably really angry at themselves for mistakes they've made, but they put the anger off on you instead. Easier to blame someone else, than to look at their own mistakes.
I also think from what I've seen that our x's have a fairy-tale ending in mind for themselves after the D, and I don't think that usually happens. I bet your X is having a hard time dealing with your gf being in your d's life.
I bet your X is having a hard time dealing with your gf being in your d's life.
Karen
Well exw can go pound sand and eat a big bag of d!%# if she doesn't like it.
She is constantly dragging D down to Florida to see her bf, yet she has an issue with my gf in OUR D's life?
I would never say this to D, but GF is a MUCH better role model as compared to exw. She is better educated, comes from a stable family (with money BTW), has an incredible work ethic, and despite being 7 years younger is way more mature and wise than exw. Hands down I would rather D grow up to be like GF over exw.
