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Joined: May 2018
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previous threads

1st thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2788756&page=1

2nd thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2799159&page=1

3rd thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...1955&page=1

It is hard to believe that I am up to my 4th thread on here. I guess it goes to show how much I have relied on this community for support over the past two months. So many people have taken an interest and reached out in positive ways (and sometimes with a 2x4) all with goal of helping me. It is sort of incredible when you think about. Complete strangers on the internet helping one another through one of the most difficult situations in life without any compensation other than the knowledge that they are helping and actually making a difference in someones life. So many people here have helped me, but especially Maika, Vanilla, Cadet, Ste7e, Steve, LoneWolf, Nicole, Joseph (and I am sure that I am missing others). Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can honestly say that I dont know where I would be right now if not for the help, guidance, and support that I received here.

I am still out on the West Coast, for another 4 nights before I start my long trek back. 3.5 weeks into an 8 week trip. My body is tired of driving so much, it is tough at times to adjust to the lack of a routine. I generally love to eat out, but after 3 weeks straight it gets tiresome and it is hard to eat as healthy as I would like. Physically I feel tired and falling apart a bit. This is my 4th straight night in the same bed which is a nice break, but I still struggle to sleep more than 6 hours.

I am a bit disappointed in myself in terms of the work I am doing. I have not been practicing yoga nearly as much. I have not been journaling my emotions nearly as much. I have not been reading my self-help books nearly as much. The weight of travel as well as the desire to spend as much of my time here with my friends has cut into my motivation. I think also as I lose more and more hope in my sitch (good for detachment) my motivation wanes. Obviously this is misguided as the changes are for me, not for the W or the R, but it is real. I think I need to push back more against this. I do still struggle to know when to push back and resist and when to gently, compassionately accept and lean in.

I am trying to live in the moment and enjoy them for what they are. To enjoy the beauty of looking out over the Puget Sound, or the excitement of watching World Cup soccer. My thoughts eventually tug me back into the reality of my situation, but I do enjoy the escapes. But arent they just as real as my situation? Isnt it just opening myself up to the reality of this very moment? I still struggle to identify what is a "distraction" from my sitch and what is just healthy, joyous, mindful living.

One worry that does intrude upon my consciousness is how I will react to returning home. I will be back in a little over a month, and I keep picturing the house half-empty after my W has taken out all of her things, the clothes in our marriage bedroom, the plants throughout the house, the desk/computer in her office, the decorations that marked our life together. I am sure that it will be an emotional moment to return to an empty house (of course our beloved dog will be there to greet me). It will be the biggest 2x4 across the back of my head. I am not sure if it is healthy to keep picturing it and preparing myself for it or best to banish those thoughts and deal with them when I have to, i.e. when I get back.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Davide Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
Sorry. Wrong forum.... please delete!


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Davide Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
Sorry. Wrong forum.... please delete!


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019

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