I decided to start journaling in this forum since my H and I are reconciling.
Things seemed to be going great. Sometimes, I think too great. But, I am not going to complain. We seemed to be communicating very well since he returned back in February. If something is bothering me and depending what it is, I approach him and discuss it. But when I discuss it with him, I make sure that I use alot of "I" statements. Because I don't want him to think that I am blaming him.
This past weekend was great. His birthday was at the beginning of May, I decided that I was not going to do anything special for his birthday except taking him out to dinner because that what he did for me. I could not do that because I think everyone should be made special on their birthdays. The gift I gave him was a weekend away and I set up a tee time for him to play golf with a friend. He was surprised and very happy. The best part was, we went by ourselves, without our daughter. My older son and his girlfriend watched her for the weekend. Well, my husband had a nice surprise for me when we arrived at the resort that we were staying at.
We checked in. He seemed a little off, but I didn't really think too much about it. We walking inside the condo and it was very dark in there. I walked in to put our bags down and I noticed that there were candles buring on the table along with a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket of ice, chocolate covered strawberries and rose petals all over the table. I turned on the light and notice a trail of rose petals leading into the bedroom, all over the bed, the night stands and the tub with candles burning. He told me that he loved me so much that I was always giving to him and he wanted to do something special for me. I started to cry and said he made a dream come true.
Things seems to be going great! Too great, sometimes. For the past couple of weeks, we have been car pooling to work, his idea. At first, I was not excited about it, but now, I like it. We drop our D off at daycare, then we have like 20 min of us time. Then he picks me up and then another 20 min of us time, then we pick our D up.
Sometimes, I feel like I am dreaming and I am going to wake up and things are going to be different.
Ever since he moved back in (February) at the end of each month we have a relationship report card. We say whats on our mind without yelling, getting mad with each other. And he loves it. So it's almost time for it this month and he said he can't wait. I know, it sounds tacky, but hey if it works for him, I am all over it. LOL
Been feeling depressed lately. I feel like my husband is not attracted to me sexually. I tried talking to him and he told me that he was attracted to me sexually but then I asked him why he didn't want to have sex with me. He has come with some excuses. At first I understood the excuses now I don't. I have tried several times to get his attention, but he just glances and me and then looks away. He is not a very affectionate person. Am I just feeling insecure about myself? I just want his attention and keep seem to get it. It been several weeks since he has touched me. I just want to scream but why bother?
That's not good -- is this new? When did he start backing off? I assume that at one point you felt he WAS attracted to you sexually. When did that change, and has anything else happened that you've noticed?
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
When he came back, have the two of you discussed MC? That is a must! The problem is that when the WAS comes back, there's a "honeymoon phase" that lasts a month or so, and then they start to withdraw again because they're original problems havent' been dealt with.
You've got to take care of that and not rug sweep the original problems. And it needs to be taken care of asap before he starts listening to the voices in his head that caused him to leave in the first place.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
He started to back off approximately several weeks ago. I know he has been very stressed at work lately.
When he first came back, I could not have sex because of complications from my surgery. Which he was very understanding about. And it seemed like then, he was interested in it. Now that I can, it seems like he is not interested in me at all.
I haven't noticed any other changes. Trust me, I have been paying attention.
As far as MC, no, we have not talked about it. In the past, we have found some lousy ones and the thought of finding a new one and starting over kills me. I am sure if I really wanted too, he would be all for it.
