New thread. See previous thread above. Was going off the rails on a crazy train, then trying to get off the crazy train. Now the train is moving ahead without me and there is a sense of foreboding with it. H is driving that train and he better watch his speed or he is going to derail.
Is this a crazy train or a circus train? Hmmm...
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
H corners me again and wants to continue our discussion. These discussions never really go anywhere. It's more of a ranting session for him. He flat out lies and puts words in other people's mouths that they never really said. He uses other people's words against them and knows how to create hard feelings between people. His whole family does that so he gets it honestly.
I told him to lay out a proposal on paper. He told me what he will end up paying me with child support and maintenance and even told me that his lawyer told him they could probably "negotiate that down" (not really because it's formula based) and he told them no....it's not about the money. She deserves it (my hero).
So what I dont know is why all of a sudden he is panicking and wanting to work something out. I am wondering what he has discovered and why he is trying so hard to work this out?
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
It is definitely a circus train. He's found something out, i.e., he'll most likely have to cough up some extra money somewhere. Him telling you what he lawyer said (somehow I don't find him to be telling you the truth about "negotiating down" support and maintenance) and what he said in return. He's trying to make himself look good in your eyes by saying that. Something is definitely up if he's starting to panic.
If there is something he's found out, he will tell on himself very soon.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly. Today is going to be an interesting day for sure. I already alerted the mediator that H is going to be uncooperative. By the mediator is a professional and he deals with this stuff all the time. I will just sit back and be the sane one.
Immediately after is S's parent/teacher conference. That will be interesting for sure. Oh well at least S's teacher is a handsome MALE teacher. : )
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So H emailed me his proposal. He wants me to agree to everything he had worked up in the first draft back in March which is the exact reason why I retained my attorney in the first place. He wants me to sign off as soon as possible. He does not want attorneys involved nor does he want to go in front of a judge. I told him in no uncertain terms would agree to anything.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I agree w/kml, he needs to come up with an offer that is not only fair but will keep you and your children in the lifestyle you are use to.
Don't be afraid of his tactics...he's trying to bully you into doing what he wants...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes that's obvious. Just finished mediation and boy is H mad. He looked like a raving lunatic! He agreed to 50/50 in the summer if I agreed to give him 12 floating days throughout the year. I said I would consider that But I would not agree to anything right then and there I wanted time to consider it. H said he was ready to go to the guardian ad litem if I didn't agree which I do not think would be in his interest. But whatever will be will be. I stayed calm he looked stressed out and panicked.
He also mentioned that if he takes on anymore debt he will not be able to refinance the house and he will have to claim bankruptcy and then I will have to claim bankruptcy. I don't think so scooter!
He even suggested we forgo our attorneys and hire the mediator! What?!?!? He has lost his damn mind! Fortunately the mediator said he cannot do that.
Cue the circus music!!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I've got the popcorn and cotton candy ready. Step right up and get your goodies! He's finding out that it's not going to be a walk in the park financially for him. Well, he's the one that wanted to swing in the air. I'm sure he was a raving lunatic. There aren't many who stay calm, etc., when it comes to hitting them in the wallet.
Stand your ground. You did good! Keep it up!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The MLCer doesn't handle it too well when they find out there's consequences to their choices.
My H also thought I'd roll over and do things the way he wanted. He was extremely upset when he found out that I was standing up for myself.
He accused me of contesting the D and trying to put the boots to him and ow,and that I'd never get even with them. I told him very calmly that I was doing no such thing. I was not standing in the way of the D and that I could never get 'even' with him for what he'd done.
I told him that I would negotiate on anything else but what the state's formula would allow me financially.
As I said before, I'm still waiting for his counter proposal.
