Husband has been gone approx 6 weeks (living at a friends house) - we have been together 25 years and are in our 40's. We have 2 children one of whom passed away 4 years ago. He never dealt with her death. Husband has been drinking increasingly more which lead to seperation. We have recently started talking again and he has agreed to try and work on marriage - we have gone out on one date and he agreed to counseling which I am not so sure is the best thing right now. When we are together things seem good he is affectionate we have fun but then he leaves and I don't hear from him he doesn't text ect.
I have not been texting and rarely ever call - he knows I want to save our marriage but at this point I am not sure where to go with it. He is to plan the next date and my thought was not to push it or ask about it but really not sure what the right way to handle is. I am the fixer and doer in the relationship so I assume my role is to do nothing but would really like some feedback from other people who have been through this.
Last edited by Cadet; 05/04/1510:57 AM. Reason: Carriage returns for readability
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
