is it normal to feel like this?

[strongerthanever]

Why isn't there a posting icon of someone crying? Just sayin....anyhow...Oh gosh guys…I don’t know if I’ve detached too much, gone too dark or what…but my mind is flip flopping. My 180s are working, but I don’t even know if I want H anymore. Has anyone else gone through this?

I was a WAW, for so many reasons. While we have been separated for 6 months we have reversed roles, leaving him having a full blown PA with his married boss. Through my DB strategies, he has come around and is texting me 3 times a week. He’s called me “wifey”, admitted to being confused and wanting his family back. Granted, that SAME night he was camping with OW and filed for D 3 days later.

Here we are 1 week later and he wants to turn our weekly child exchange into a dinner date. At first I was so excited to see my baby steps, but guys, idk anymore……I’m really thinking of just showing up to get my girls and then leaving, no dinner.
My inner dialogue is saying “he has not worked on a single thing that caused you to walk away. Why do you even want him back? For more of the same?”

I don’t guys. I can’t go back to that life. An unchanged man means an unchanged relationship. That, I just can’t do.

I’m not going to go into the details of the bad (not drugs or anything like that), because they don’t really matter. What I’m REALLY wondering is have any of you ever felt like this? Is this normal?

[Brit45]

okay stick to one thread. I'm going back to your other thread and posting my thoughts.

[scaredsilly]

Oh, yeah.

In fact, I saw this quote on a site:
" The worst thing you ever did to me was leave me. The best thing you ever did for me was to let me find out how much better off I was without you!"

[greenblue90]

Jamie

The details really do matter, it's not that we are nosy, but it helps to have a third party tell you if your grievances with him are legit, or something YOU need to work on.

[strongerthanever]

greenblue90~

hmmmm.....some of the reasons I walked away....mostly feeling unappreciated, loved/supported. A few examples..

I had to have a d&c following the loss of our baby. He did not show me any affection, or failed to realize that I existed that day. No hug, I love you or anything.

Needed to rest/recover after having tubial ligation. I came home from work and laid in the bed, although we had plans to go somewhere. H was so mad that he would be left caring for our daughters (then 1 and 2) that he punched the dresser and BROKE his hand. Yup.

28 weeks pregnant with D2 and was having contractions. Put on full bed rest and H would take off and go fishing 'till 7ish at night. I was left at home and stressed out with our other D. The result? Water broke at 30 weeks, I was in the hospital on full bedrest for that time. H and I might as well been divorced then, no love or anything. Just awkward visits. D was born at 32 weeks. (she's a healthy 2 yr old now) No love, I was just alone and depressed in my hospital bed.

Yeah, I could keep going, but I think I've showcased my reasons for becoming the WAS pretty clearly. I'm 8 yrs older than he (I'm 31). I truely do hope this experience has helped him grow into a man that values and respects women. OK, I have more to write, an update, so I'm going to reply to this thread again.

[strongerthanever]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...031#Post2249031

moved everything to my origonial thread, gives a lot of background info