I just got an email from my W who proposed some dates and made no mention of her spending the night at the house on xmas eve and being their on xmas day. She essentially said she would take them 12/21 and 12/22 then I would have them 12/23 and 12/24 then she would pick them up late morning xmas day and have them for the rest of the week. She did acknowledge that they should wake up at our home xmas day and not her apt. And asked me if I agreed.
With her saying this I have no reason to not accept her suggestion and since she did not bring up staying at the house then I will move forward with her not being at the house. Obviously she is making the choice to not be with them and she knows what that entails.
She did not mention presents so I will just proceed and get them stuff on my own.
Does anyone feel differently? Even though she didn't bring it up should I offer her to be at house?
Does anyone feel differently? Even though she didn't bring it up should I offer her to be at house?
Joseph9,
I think you're doing the right thing; not inviting your wife for Christmas and buying the gifts yourself (assuming the children will know the gifts came from you, not you and your wife). I would not offer to have her at the house.
Yeah I agree with doodler. Don't offer to have her over at your place. She clearly emailed you what she wants to do. Plan xmas with you and the kids and presents that will be from you.
Thanks D.....I responded to her that the dates looked good and I would go ahead and request the time off for a couple of dates we had been discussing.
I am happy that I did not extend and offer to her. It was the right call. I put the ball in her court and she made the decision knowing that she would not be present on xmas eve or that morning for them to open presents.
I didn't have any expectations but there is a part of me that wished she would have made the suggestion.
It just re-enforces she is not ready yet which is cool, I'm good with it.
I am going to have to disagree. If you want to ask her then go ahead and ask her. At this time, you are still married and there is no known OM. IMO there is nothing wrong with you two coming together for one day for the sake of your daughters.
I am going to have to disagree. If you want to ask her then go ahead and ask her. At this time, you are still married and there is no known OM. IMO there is nothing wrong with you two coming together for one day for the sake of your daughters.
Sorry man for going the other way.
LH19,
You may be right. There was an OM in my case and I'm still a hammer so all I see is nails.
Well, I already responded to her and told her I was fine with her plan. I was torn in either direction. It does make me wonder though if we are in this Mexican stand off and both of us are afraid to make the first move. With that said I don't have any intentions of making a move.
Truthfully it probably would have been a little weird since we have had no communication of any substance in almost 6 months. Her just being in the house, acting as a family, could have put more pressure on her than she could handle at this time.
I will be with them on Thanksgiving Day and will have them Christmas Eve and the Day. I feel bad for her but for whatever reason she has made the choice to not be with them.
We still have over a month until the day so who knows maybe something will change.
I didn't think she would ask you. She might accept an invitation, but she wouldn't ask to stay over. The door wasn't open, nothing was clear, so she probably felt like she was stepping out of bounds.
I actually agree with LH. If there is no OM, there is are zero expectations, and you simply want to make this a nice Christmas morning for the girls, there would be no harm in that. It would probably be nice for the girls.
I wouldn't expect her to ask you though. A simple offer would be nice, she will either accept it or turn it down. You need to be ok with which way it will go.
