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Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.
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That last link was wrong: Living With No Expectations


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
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Posts: 2,877
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So, I'm glad I hit 100 posts over there because if I could erase my last post I would. I have no idea how I feel most of the time, and most of the time I tell myself it doesn't matter. I have work to do, a life to live, kids to take care of. Put the best face on it and move on. Accuray pushed me a little to identify how happy I really am and I wrote some gibberish that makes no sense.

I guess constitutionally I feel mostly happy almost always, but under the surface is stuff I'm not dealing with. Most of the time I don't see the point because I'm fine. But I take the opportunities with IC to dig and and get to work on it. If nothing else good came of all this, the impetus to see a therapist was a very good thing for me. I can do better than before.

My current thinking on H is that he's on a path he needs to follow. I'm here, being who I am, taking care of things, and hoping he'll wake up one day soon and come back to me. OT popped in with a friendly reminder to focus on me and not so much on what H is doing from one day to the next. Good advice.

For me, I'm going to do some solid work today, stick to my diet, walk on my lunch break, and make "chicken with 40 cloves of garlic" for dinner. It has lemons in it and the garlic roasts in the pan, yummy. And - wash the dishes I hid out on the porch so the housecleaners could do their work yesterday. And - start cleaning the pollen out of the porch so it's a nice place to hang out. And - really pay good attention to my kids this evening, laptop off.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
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Originally Posted By: adinva


Slow down, I'm trying to catch up!


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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Your last post on your last thread made perfect sense to me. If I put things in the back seat I can be happy too. Unfortunately post-bomb they have a way of clawing themselves back into the front seat. Maybe the A/D's help with that. I took Lorazepam when things were at their worst, but I didn't feel it helped that much and I was paranoid about the fact that it can be addictive.

So if you are one year in, what happens now? Do you just wait to see what happens, or are you going to confront H about his plans? Was there an official start to the separation where something was filed?

What is your road forward?

Accuray


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
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Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic? Really? That sounds good. How about a cup of white wine in the mix?

My year is coming up too, hard to believe. But we ain't dead and still here moving forward. And you are right we have lots to be thankfull for. We just can't see it right now. Good things are in the works AD just hang in there.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Wow... one-year in house separation... that takes some serious fortitude. I remember what it was like here... how I feared the separation in separate houses, but all in all this has been better than together. It hurts, but it's way less crazy and poisonous.

So god bless you for having the strength to stick it out!


Married 6 together 8
Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both
SS12, SD10, S6
Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann)
W moved out: 2/18/12
D final: 11/12/12
Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
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Well, it's 11 months since h said he wanted to separate (6/15/11) and he wanted to sign papers making it official the next day, but nothing has ever been signed. So I expect next month to get interesting, and I figured that would be on this thread, hence the title.

Thank you WHG, I do consider myself to be a very strong person. It was funny that in counseling near the beginning I mentioned that and h said he did not see me that way. To me, it's a large part of my identity! Anyway, it was all about learning that other people have a different reality.

Rick I believe there is white wine involved. Always makes the cooking more fun too!


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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Just try not to let the "anniversary" throw you.

It's a bit like riding my bike, once a get past that certain point, I could ride forever.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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40 cloves of garlic? Will you share the recipe? smile


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


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