I haven't posted for 22 days but things have moved on a whole bunch!!
W decided to give it one more shot and work with me on US.
It all started on Saturday/Sunday after she arrived back from a trip away. She is giving us 6 months. She doesnt want to separate!!
I will fill in the details when I get a little time but suffice to say we ML twice in one day (after no physical contact for 6 months!).
She has put her wedding rings back on!
We are planning lots of family trips and even a holiday as a family.
She wants a weekend away in Paris or similar citybreak!
I am over the moon but NOT complacent.
My changes are for life and not just for Christmas!
I want to thank all the people who have read and contributed to my thread - We are still a work in progress but at least we are working on it now!!
- Much more later
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
I'm so happy for you and your family. Do you need to say anything to the kids?
- All for the kids - Me:34, W:35 M:7, T:13 S6, D3 + my D15 from previous marriage July 2011 "I think I need a separation" W filed D September Currently living apart - she has the house, I rent a room
AT - Thanks! and no, we separated for 3 weeks (kids were told I was 'working away') and then when I moved back in (much against W's wishes) I slept in the spare bedroom. The kids didnt ask much and I said it was to give mummy 'proper sleep'
They never batted an eyelid when I moved back into OUR bed on Sunday.
I will try to explain what worked for me and what didn't and then move to the piecing thread.
I have so much love to give.... :-)
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Wow, a success story. Don't give up on your progress, but enjoy your success too. No doubt with the soul searching you have done I hope this cannot fail again. And please, the advice on what worked would be so welcome to those of us still trying to find our way back home.
Congratulations!
M 53, W 48 T 25, M 18 S 15, D 11 "I'me done!" 6/13/2010 Exit started 8/21/2011 ILYBNILWY W consults with L 9/2011, no papers filed Separated 1/16/2012
One VERY important thing is that you and your W must get some outside help. Go to C or a program like DB or Retrouvaille. It is important for her to understand her role in the deterioration of your relationship and not just you.
I don't know how many couples go through the exact same second honeymoon phase you're going through and then in a month or so wind up back here.
On top of that, your W gave you a timeline. When people go through an actual R, there is no timeline. So I would be cautious about that.
And just to let you know, it is very very common for couples in R to go through several false starts so both of you need to know to not give up.
You wished that you knew some of the things you do now before you got married. Well this is your warning.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
