Heeeelp!!! Im married to a marriage police and ive miserably failed his relationship dui tests. Ive been DBing, but that straight line is not to his liking, He wants to "arrest" me (BigD)but says financially cant afford it...But in same breath wishes id change, still loves me sometimes, and says its all up to me to fix it. I feel Bullied, Please, I could use your advice, I really am trying(Dummy me still "drunken" in love w/ him), id skip bail and leave but I have 2 beautiful, smart sons that are my life(13&16 yrs old). If i go he wants custody, and has turned them against me. So Ive got "police brutality" (3 men i love against me and when dads not around they take over!!)So how do i DB 3 "Husbands"????
I made mistakes in our past before marriage, hurts never go away and they surfaced 6 years ago. (Together 27 yrs/married 19 yrs/2006 bomb 4 us both/2009 he retired & loves me but not in love anymore/wont D but wont help fix) Unlucky for him it coincided with his midlife crisis. Before discovering DB, I let him fix his heart however he needed,silently to my utter heartbreak. Ive failed his tests, because i didnt accept his unconventional ways of "fixing" us/him. (My opinion: it was his heartbreak excuse to experiment with other women. I took the pain b/c i thought i owed him that. He claimed it wasnt revenge just making things right.)...i was never allowed to greive, but i have forgiven him now, i still hopelessly love him, he just doesnt want me, regrets our 27 years, but his "loyalty" wont let D me, yet wont let us b happy.
So today here we are. Trying hard to GAL and count my blessings, but still sooo sad. Im lucky hes still got one foot halfheartedly still in, but im just getting it all wrong. Im such a happy go lucky airhead that i never saw his unhappiness coming, even today it still sneaks up on me. Even when things seem good he starts to argue that im always argueing and i dont understand and that becomes the big argument.
He was doing so good forgiving me for past naive mistakes (ive been truely sorry for the hurt& faithful our whole marriage), but now he claims my apologies were not acceptable. Ill never get apologies for his midlife crisis, i know that now. But he blames it all on me, i made him do it. ...and the boys???how do i help them??? They are angry all the time, have forgotten all our good memories. So my pain is that i want my family loving each other again.
I appreciate any help.( I do have a wonderful patient-angel DB coach and went a few times to MC, she said H was controlling me keeping meeee unhappy made his controlling side happy.)...help, please I sure could use some friends. I apologize to all of you that I was originally the wrong one, but im the one that wants to save us (& family too!) 27 years too late that honesty & its consequences would have been easier than heartbreak today...but i do have 2 great sons.xoxoxox
So sorry that you are here in the position you're in. Could you please give us more details? We need a little more exact facts like what was it that you did before that caused the hurt?
The more detail the better. You're not going to find a more caring group of individuals who want to see your M succeed. Hang in there.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
