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#2228103 03/06/12 05:59 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
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I think the DB techniques are working. My W recently started to nag me again (which according to Michelle is a good sign...W hasn't completely given up). Though recently she lit into me AND our D's which I found intolerable. But I promised myself not to scream and reminded her that she wasn't be fair (she actually calmed down a little after this). During her nap I did a lot of extra house work (since her initial bomb in late June I really tried to do more around the house). W said she wanted counseling and that it was up to me to set an appointment (which I did). She even was affectionate to me (we had sex for the first time in weeks). I'm still trying the 180s (recently started watching her chick show with her...something I never do...on the other side of the couch...trying not to be pushy). Still working on the 180s and trying not to be impatient. Waiting for next pay period to set up coaching session.

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I don't recall the whole nagging is a good sign thing, but it makes sense. When my W nags me now, I'm strangely relieved. Why tell me what I'm doing bothers you if you don't care or want out?

Sounds like you're in a good place. That's awesome!


Me: 31
W: 28
M: almost 6
T: 10.5
S2
Bomb#1: 05/11
Bomb#2: 11/11
S'd: 11/28/11
Moved back in: 12/28/11
MC: 06/28/12

...what is it about the 28th day of the month?
Joined: Feb 2012
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Tenbusrider...read over Michele's article on the WAW she does mention that nagging means W hasn't completely given up. The hardest part is keeping my cool when she nags.
Here is my previous post...like most of us...I've got my work cut out for me!
initial post

How is it going for you? Have you tried some 180s (they are very tough...breaking old habits)?

What I've found so difficult is trying to GAL w/o my W. I've taken the kids out by myself a few times. But I guess I should focus my GAL on just myself?

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Hey Horse, just caught up on your sitch. That's awful stuff, man. It's good that you want to work for your marriage, many people don't have the patience to stick by the vows they made, especially when faced with issues like the one your W has...

I found the article after reading your post yesterday. It all made sense. Never thought I'd be glad to be nagged! It's infrequent for me, but it does still happen (I guess when I do stuff that irks her).

180s... Lord, have I done some 180s! In addition to the first big initial steps of stopping pursuit, I've quit drinking (22 days sober), taken a more active role in our S's life, gotten back into church (in a big way), get more housework done around the house (I was already involved in it, but I go a bit further now), etc. There are probably things I'm forgetting about, but those are the biggies.

I actually had a much easier time with GAL when W wasn't around, but it was still HARD to do. Compared to what it's like now that she's back, however... it's considerably more difficult.


Me: 31
W: 28
M: almost 6
T: 10.5
S2
Bomb#1: 05/11
Bomb#2: 11/11
S'd: 11/28/11
Moved back in: 12/28/11
MC: 06/28/12

...what is it about the 28th day of the month?

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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