Just wanted to give thanks and Hope

[praying_in_GA]

I don't know if anyone will remember me.....

I was here a year ago. I was a stubborn wife sitting here crying about my hsband leaving me a year ago. I was scared and angry and lonely a year ago.

Thanks to the amazing people on this board and the books....I am happily still married to my husband of 6 years.

A year ago Oct 23 my husband told me he didn't love me. He moved to his sisters that very night. He contacted a lawyer and prepared me for divorce. Approximately a month later he called and said he was moving back in. I thought it was for me. It turns out it was because he felt like a babysitter (I work at night).

I put my foot down and although I didn't follow the advice to the letter...what I did follow was stating clearly that I WOULD NOT live with him unless we worked on us. I was told to not let him in...make him stay away...hold my ground. I am weak and I didn't do that. It was SO hard living with him for a few weeks. I should have listened.

I got LUCKY. I did 75% of what this board told me to do and I got LUCKY.

There is NO doubt in my mind that if I hadn't found these books and this forum....I know I would be divorced by now. These people, this author, this way of life brought my husband back to me.

We are over the moon in love now. We are reconnected. We are more in touch with what we need to do to keep this marriage together. I am going to go back and re -read a few sections of this book and others from time to time. I need to remind myself of what was. I cannot forget what happened after 5 years of marriage. We are still SO early in our lives together. 6 years of marriage is a fraction of our life.

THANK YOU!!

Thank you: Super Girl....Puppy....Coach....Britt54....brownidmom....Virtually Handsome....TrentC....motherof3....Gardener....Steve McQueen....MrBond....notagoodlistener....sandi2

I really should come back more often so I can offer advice and support. To be honest, it took me this long to log back even log back on.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I remember you Pi GA.

I'm glad to hear your going strong!

Good to hear from you.

[gutwrenching]

Great story! Newcomers need more stories of hope like this! I know I craved for them when I first found this place. Thanks for sharing

[lawmom]

H left about 6 weeks ago and quickly filed for divorce. Recently I have seen some faint glimmers of some second thoughts (at least I think they are glimmers). Want to encourage. Have been exercising, lost some weight and trying to lose more. we have 3 children so there is a fair amt of contact. Some of the contact strikes me as being inconsistent with being separated/divorced (Like he is still treating me like a wife having me do things for him. I do and usually don't mind but I also wonder if I need to refrain so he will realize that is part of what he will lose.)
But no indication that he wants to stop divorce. We are both seeing counselors and there are some things we need to correct in ourselves even if we reconciled. I have not mentioned anything about this to him, of course. I have told my divorce lawyer to move as slowly as possible.
What things should I look for as signs of hope?
I feel a need to be available for children in this hard time so I am conflicted about going out. Also, don't really have single friends to do things with. How do I address that?

[realormakebeliev]

Hi LM, sorry you find yourself here....

Have you read DB or DR? I would highly recommend doing so, as quickly as possible. You can also get some great coaching from DB.

Your best course of action at this point is to start working on YOU. I'm going to look for the 'rules' of DBing, and I'll post them here. You'll get lots of great advice, although you should probably post your sitch over on the newcomers board. Good luck!

[1702]

I wish your H could talk to my W about fallng back in love. She feels that because so many things have happened, that it is the way she feels and there is nothing stopping it