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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Here again part 8 by cadence @ 32 minutes 14 seconds ago

Quote:My concern regarding last time vs this time is this time he's more level headed and thinking clear. Last time he wouldn't come here and be around me much less stay the night. To me I think that means this time he's not so much wayward but just
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: NYGal: Together and Doing the Work by BluWave @ 40 minutes 0 seconds ago

(((NYGal))) I am so sorry. It hurts so, so much :-( I wanted to offer you some support because I do feel your pain, especially when you question what things would be like had you just moved on after the A. My H has zero contact with OW and I still w
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It's never too late to be what you might have been by AndrewP @ 52 minutes 16 seconds ago

Originally Posted By: OwnItHere is the shocking part. He would rather pay me an EXTRA $10k per month than sign that agreement. What kind of moron would do that? One that doesn't want to other investments or property attached. Just because it does
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Confused As Hell by cdubbs @ Today at 03:44 AM

All the BS at work has pretty much blown over. I'm still very angry but will be leaving within the next 1-2 months anyway depending on when the house is sold. Still debating on whether to file a complaint or let it go. As far as the relationship goe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next by Coconut @ Today at 03:41 AM

Him saying he doesn't want to be with you is based on emotion, he's infatuated with the fantasy of OW, it may change over time, or it may not, but nothing you can do about it so focus stays on you. If you're going out, and he wants to stay with the
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: New Beginnings by OwnIt @ Today at 03:41 AM

Westo, I'm glad that you got the gifts that you wanted (clear nodes and a lovely card). Out of much heartache can come joy.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Devastation and distance by Island @ Today at 03:32 AM

Well I came home from work last night. My H said that he wants to hold off on the Divorce. He said he will return to the UK and seek some help - he said he recognizes he needs help. He said he doesn't want to give me false hope. but maybe if he ge
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finding my way in the dark by holding @ Today at 01:54 AM

Acc, thanks for the awesome clarification! You have a great way of putting things. I need to try to internalize what you've said and use it as a playbook! Something else I've been thinking about - It's starting to get on my nerves how we sleep in th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Betrayed Spouse - Round 2 by WshIKnw @ Yesterday at 10:52 PM

Dale, I don't feel very qualified to be giving you much advice, which is why I suggest you talk to a DB Coach. I do feel strongly about the advice I have given so far, though, especially about not going too much no contact on a wife that felt unloved
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Trying out my new wings by bttrfly @ Yesterday at 10:22 PM

You sound great - I'm so glad! I know what a shock that whole debacle must have been. Yes, divorce is rejection. My thing is abandonment, so this was a deep trigger to old pain from childhood - hey, isn't that supposed to be their schtick, not our
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What should I be doing now (Time to Move on?) by Coconut @ Yesterday at 10:18 PM

Tread, I don't think you know my sitch, but I didn't DB well, I wasn't able to detach and I got angry. I insulted my WW, I slashed her tires and kicked in 3 doors, so I don't expect I'll ever be reuniting. But what I do want is to be able to be c
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife wants out of 15 year marriage by Cadet @ Yesterday at 09:47 PM

Glad you are back in the house, and do not leave - she should leave if she wants out of the marriage. Especially if your blood sweat and tears went into building the house
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Flotsam, part II by OwnIt @ Yesterday at 04:11 PM

Fight I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you and S are safe in the home. If he is still living there it is probably best that you don't discuss the divorce or relationship with him at all and try to de-escalate the situation as
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife walked away 12 days ago says it's over 2 by Stunned @ Yesterday at 02:45 PM

Coconut, That really seems like some great advice, idk if I have the strength to go that route at this time. But soon enough I just might cause she knows that I want more than anything for reconciliation and it hasn't phased her
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie in limbo after wife's infidelity by Forbet @ Yesterday at 02:00 PM

Originally Posted By: AnotherStanderNot good. In her current state of mind, counseling is more than likely going to push her out the door. Most MC is just divorce facilitation. There's no interest or effort in saving marriages. YOU should go to C, bu
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Limerence and My Situation 2 by Tread @ Yesterday at 01:54 PM

I really needed to read these comments. Because W likes the nicer version of me. But I was never this extra nice guy and she fell in love with me. So being nice alone will not do it. I need to get back to the old me. The person was before I beca
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Divorced by 2016 by adinva @ Yesterday at 01:52 PM

I love it personally. It gives me the same feeling I had when I was a little kid and got a walkie talkie, what fun to be connected to someone from a distance and send messages back and forth! (Except with texting, that is, until they misinterpret, or
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife wants to leave marriage 2 by Tread @ Yesterday at 01:26 PM

Alright i have been trying seriously detach. But its gone nowhere due tot he fact that my W is constantly in face. Spent the last two night going out to GAL and a great time. But when I get home, its W sitting or laying next to me on the bed. Tel
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Internalizing the lessons by bttrfly @ Yesterday at 11:18 AM

Thanks Roist, Gordie, Kyh, and Job. It will be every other week, one weeknight and part of the day Saturday. We think it will be slow at first because it's summer, then will pick up in the fall. I'm open to receiving whatever life has to offer.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 25yearsmlc 10 yrs later I File D (part 4) by DonH @ Yesterday at 10:12 AM

I wish I could say the dreams go away. Well okay, for the very most part I guess they do. But just last night I had a dream about exW. It's happened before too. Now I can assure you I'm beyond done and detached. We never talk, been divorced 11 years
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The high road: rocky with a great view by ciluzen @ Yesterday at 09:53 AM

Originally Posted By: HaWhoJust want to say that, from my vantage point, this is a time to sit back and really watch how he copes with all this. MLCers fear sickness, death and (I suspect) hospitalizations. I suspect he is facing some big fears in
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: mlc 'run' (running its course) re mlc rut 2 by pbetra @ Yesterday at 09:43 AM

Originally Posted By: GordieP, that is so heartbreaking to think h was changing and coming back only to be betrayed again...vent away...hope you have get the support you need... Gordie, so sorry I missed you earlier. Thanks for taking the ti
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: You guys aren't going to beleive this 5 by Thornton @ Yesterday at 08:59 AM

I'm still here, NY! I have not had any contact with W in a week so not much new to report. I've been GAL as much as I can and will be going to Cali starting tomorrow through next Thursday. It should be a good distraction. I still miss W and her
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wading through v. 2.0 by leahsue @ Yesterday at 08:47 AM

Oh Cadence, how I wish we could find our way down off that roller-coaster. It's so hard. You think you've gotten to a good place and ready to handle the next whatever, then it comes, bam, and it hurts like a stab wound. I'd give you a hug right now i
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife moved to parents on opposite coast #3 by Cali08 @ Yesterday at 07:52 AM

Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlcOriginally Posted By: Cali08Today I heard my wife talked to and opened up quite a bit to one of my real good friends wife and then just suddenly stopped texting her. I haven't talked to my friends wife yet, but I heard
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