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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 14 days of sheer hell continues by DDJ @ 04/24/16 02:01 AM

That makes sense dream. It kind of validates her selfishness, if i'm also selfish. I am staying strong, but need to muster up the courage to face this demon, which is really this forum. I need to not forget why and where i'm going. Also, linking to
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: A door closing and another opening... by beatrice @ 04/24/16 01:59 AM

Sotto - I don't often post these days but you raise an interesting point. I think the term MLC encompasses a wide range of behaviours - and certainly the person going through it isn't acting in a mature way - There may be 50 ways to leave your lover
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXXVIII: Settling In by Maybell @ 04/24/16 01:52 AM

Thank you all for your input, I appreciate that I can put it out there and get responses back so quickly. WRT college... If I suggested that he wasn't going to be able to pay for college he would get angry and defensive. The house is bought. He's al
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Drop the Rope - Part VI by Vanilla @ 04/24/16 01:42 AM

I am still waiting for you to ask to look inwards at this FOO, it's ok to say I am having attention focused on it from elsewhere. I really think it will help you. I am thinking about you waiting to take the parachute jump of your life to health and
For Newcomers
The answer to your questions are all yes. First and foremost is addressing the codependency though and that can be very hard whilst you are in house S. One solution is to find a good course to be on and to go and do that learning experience, to esca
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: V is for Vanilla 29 by Vanilla @ 04/24/16 01:23 AM

Thank you RD, my lovely wonderful bruv. I keep checking in on you and know that every day you are in my prayers. Phoebe, I am absolutely amazed by your growth and wisdom for the length of your time here, welcome to V's thread. I love to read your sm
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: I guess this is where I belong now by Vanilla @ 04/24/16 01:09 AM

There you are, male interest always welcome! Even if you are not ready Dorey. With regard to your xh and fil, I am giving you these No to cut out and keep. Please spend them freely, I will send plenty more. You need no excuses to go with that whic
For Newcomers
This is journey my lovely, there will be good and tough phases. Whilst all is peaceful and calm stay and bask. Please look after your health, extreme care in nutrition, examine whether you require supplements if you are losing weight. The one thin
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: A door closing and another opening... by Sotto @ 04/24/16 12:55 AM

I'm just bringing this comment from V over to my thread from Bluwave's in newcomers. V posted some really helpful advice to Bluwave and this in particular resonated with me. "The very last thing is that just because your spouse wants out of the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 14 days of sheer hell continues by Vapo @ 04/24/16 12:53 AM

Just do things for you. The answer you gave her was great, but do not overdue (overuse) it. Do not start any R talks with her. Just act happy and relaxed when you are around her. You do not have to visit the forum if you do not want to, nobody will
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Husband Walked Out- Need Support! by Vanilla @ 04/24/16 12:41 AM

LandC At this point it is important that you recognise the importance of your codependency and recover. Have you attended a coda group? Mixing with others who have similar issues and attending twelve steps will help. Repairing yourself is important
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Why don't you come to your senses? by BrightFuture @ 04/24/16 12:28 AM

2T, wow, you are getting a lot of things accomplished. Your garden planted, your patio washed, your irrigation system repaired… You got it, girl! I’m very curious about your facial treatment. I wonder if I should do something like that too. Do you fe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW still angry, moved out, D on the way? by Vanilla @ 04/24/16 12:06 AM

Wonderful posts Phoebe, your insights are beautiful honed and written. Sadhub, I am always pleased when I read anger in a poster. It means a movement down the Kubler Ross Grief curve. It is so important for moving you forward. Your W is responsible
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS back--piecing--but still regret not DB by Vanilla @ 04/23/16 11:40 PM

Originally Posted By: BluWaveV! I am practically speechless! I have always loved reading your posts, and now you have given me so much to think about. I cannot thank you enough. Today is a very busy day for me, but I will come back to this and read
Midlife Crisis
Referring to w's attorney in second to last paragraph after talking about pics. Whoops.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Husband Walked Out- Need Support! by LandC @ 04/23/16 10:44 PM

Hi TJCran, Oh, I am not in the dark as to why the fight we had was so destructive - we actually haven't been 'fighting' a lot lately at all. But we do have a pattern that developed over the years that when allowed to escalate ends up being very dama
Midlife Crisis
Thanks for stopping by my thread everyone. Buttrfly, I hope I'm doing better than I think. I've felt tight as a guitar string about to break on and off this week. You're so right, this drains all three aspects of a well-rounded person; mind, body,
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A New Chapter by Painter @ 04/23/16 10:30 PM

Thank you, 1313 and Phoebe. I hope your day in court will not be to horrible, 1313. It can be pretty nervewracking, because you can prepare all you want, but there's usually unexpected things and twists and turns that can throw you off if you're n
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: my story 2 by e04355 @ 04/23/16 10:28 PM

today was a really great day. i spent it doing what i love jiu jitsu in the morning. my kids all day playing at the river and then watching the ufc fitghts with the kids and my best buddy. now i have 6 kids sleeping at my apartment. it was chaos for
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW still angry, moved out, D on the way? by CWOL @ 04/23/16 10:23 PM

Originally Posted By: SadHubIt is a bit mind boggling that we have been married over 19 years, I was open about everything, never lied to her and yet now that she is leaving me, all of a sudden she accuses me of stealing from her? It is just becomin
For Newcomers
Oh, that is such great news, Phoebe! It's so important to find that place to know that you'll be okay. When H and I were in the first stages of rebuilding, I went to the movies by myself and truly enjoyed it. Music is also so important to lift the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided and Lost by CWOL @ 04/23/16 10:03 PM

That is the one mistake I made, LiM. If I had done what you did and concurred with my WW's threat to leave the house the NIGHT of my discovery of her EA, I would have been so much further ahead. For one, she would've gone to my MIL and the whole di
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS alone in new city, trying to 180 alone by ReNewed @ 04/23/16 09:58 PM

Thanks for the tips and example. Def working on the confidence but loving, kind, high road part. Balancing act between bouts of grief/anger. Turning to God prayer and friends, activity journaling and rereading the book helps I cannot myself file
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS alone in new city, trying to 180 alone by ReNewed @ 04/23/16 09:56 PM

landc, yes, there were def. elements of codependenc and emotional immaturity on both our parts, even as ntoed by priest during a meeting. Going for what I can-thanks for encouragement
For Newcomers
Yes, I am toast. But it's not because of S11, I actually share 50/50 custody. It's the damn alimony (spousal support). I'm getting screwed over there. WW has no trouble taking the $, after all, it's the law. Never mind how we got here in the firs
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