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Ral, Oh sweetie...I can relate with what you are going through completely. I lost my late father after a year long battle against lung cancer almost 3 years ago. I was ANGRY at losing him and thought my life would s@ck forever. It's okay to be a
Originally Posted By: Rzak81Thank you fogg for looking my things over. Honestly when I snapped back early on I took the comment totally the wrong way. It was a tough love kinda thing without a filter and it hurt. I honestly didn't expect that here
Thank you fogg for looking my things over. Honestly when I snapped back early on I took the comment totally the wrong way. It was a tough love kinda thing without a filter and it hurt. I honestly didn't expect that here but I see now it helps to g
PP, Now, let's work together on a concerted approach to the first MC session. What's your plan now that you've read up some articles on apologies vs. making amends? It is just around the corner and you would want to be as prepared as possible.
Raliced, I have read and can believe that we really become an adult when we lose our parents. Much like you, my parents have been my rock in this time of upheaval. Hours on the phone with me, witnessing complete meltdown of their 39 year old son on
Originally Posted By: photoka So was I setting a boundary or did I screw up? He did, to the best of my knowledge, end it with her at that point. I am not sure this is exactly what we have in mind for a boundary, although it is close. I think set
Yikes Bets, so so sorry you are having to deal with more sorrow and pain. Then to top it off getting stalked by a crazy Colorado road rager - something's gotta change here! Hopefully a trip east will break the cycle you are in and happier times wil
Originally Posted By: Fogg One thing you need to realize, no matter what happens is you had your role in the breakdown of the relationship, but you are not responsible for her actions. Many of her actions are about her, not you. As hard as it is t
Wonka - thank you. It appears so. I thought I had dropped the rope and was less/completely unavailable for her. The problem that arose there is it also meant I was unavailable when it came to talks about separation agreements/settlements, etc and tha
Cali, Nice updates! Thumbs up.... Now, how's your faith in the M? A bit better, right? It is wonderful that you and W can have those deep and honest conversations. That will aid a long way in cementing your strong bond as a unit. I am so so
Wii - sorry the coffee date was cancelled but I think you are spot on with your response and also leaving it to her to suggest a rescheduling of the coffee date. If you are really interested in her, you might do a brief follow up message to her in a
Rzak, Just read up on your sitch and I can relate to much of what you're feeling. That ILYBNILWY comment is rough, I remember the desperation I felt after hearing it. I heard IDLY a week after, which cuts deep. I was in a very bad emotional state
This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. my W has definately re-written our marriage history. Now all I hear is how unhappy she was. How I was never there for them (I worked 2 jobs for 18 years to keep her home to raise the children
OK, another question, about boundaries. When after 3 months I told him I wouldn't continue marriage counseling and would get a lawyer instead if he continued his affair. I thought I was setting a good boundary. I mean, why continue paying $175 a
Wonka, after this anything is off the table as far as trying to be nice. I learned my lesson. Activities are on their way, will deffinatly be much busier come the end of this week forward. As far as meetup groups my location doesn't offer many of t
Originally Posted By: asitis My coach has told me repeatedly that the single most important factor determining success is giving things time to work. Not jumping around, being inconsistent, changing messages at the first sign of mistake or that thin
Touche. I see where you are going, I think. I hadn't been specific enough with her regarding the above. I've explained that the affair changed things with regards to trust. I need her to be honest and transparent in order t order rebuild trust. Hidin
Heavy Just catching up. I see the frustration you have ... but wanted you to notice something. Do you see the movement? Its always slow and tough to see .... but your W is slowly moving. Her actually admitting the A was part of the reason she left
Ok. I want to come and read your whole situation. And I WILL. And then post something meaningful. But in reading what's in here, I am certainly happy for where you seem to be headed. But I can't help but giggle reasing your name and the title of t
Dif - One thought I have in reading your posts. A lot of the things you are doing seem to be in a way to try to manipulate your W's feelings one way or another. Maybe not intentionally, but in some of your writing it comes off that way. You are going
Wow, I felt like I was just re-reading my own story. Sorry you have to be here, but there are a lot of great people on this board that will give you encouragmenet, wisdom, and perspective. I would read the links Cadet posted, especially one titled &
WBM, Gosh! I feel bad for going AWOL on your thread. Yeah, being an alcoholic is very, very difficult. My stepmother was a very high functioning alcoholic and it was very hard for her to quit. At some point, she eventually quit cold turkey ove