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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Keeping it real by jim0987 @ 10/28/14 01:40 AM

You did good. You have to stand up for yourself. Its the right thing to do and as long as your assertive rather than aggressive then it breeds confidence and respect
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: jim0987 #3 - replacing black holes with cats by jim0987 @ 10/28/14 01:35 AM

Can I just repeat my thanks for you keeping checking in on me. The advice is gratefully received. Strangely I'm OK empathising with my kids. I was talking to my mate about the empathy thing and his description was 'you do have empathy, your just rub
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newcomer With Hope by Little @ 10/28/14 01:34 AM

Okay, just don't do what I did -- I saw The Best of Me at the movies tonight. Drove home SOBBING. LOL Oh my god, it was right in the feels. I don't know why I was so stupid as to go see a romantic, sappy movie in the midst of my sitch, but I'm such
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife having emotional affair part 3 by 3kids @ 10/28/14 01:28 AM

Thanks Sandi, I knew thats what you where saying. It's still disappointing as a co-parent. Like tonight I got a text from the wife saying how she hates having a empty house and really misses the kids and the noise. And to tell them that she love
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore... by LiveNow @ 10/28/14 01:14 AM

From where I stand, fthnluv, your are fortunate indeed. Run with it...And if some small parts of it are questionable to you, it seems the other more generous parts will make up for those...
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Nitty in a Nutshell #2 by LiveNow @ 10/28/14 01:11 AM

Nitty - Concerned about you...your last post said 'something is happening'! Hope all is ok in your neck of the woods...
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC? Let it Be. by LiveNow @ 10/28/14 01:08 AM

It was a warm October night. The last of the summer crickets were singing their final notes before the long winter silence. In the orange of the Halloween porch lanterns she sits, laptop aglow, a glass of wine nearby, thoughts coming and going, conte
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAH - chapter 5 LisaB by LisaB @ 10/28/14 12:53 AM

An amazing post from Sandi2 that gives great insights into the mind of a WAS: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2501272#Post2501272 Rethinking friendly strategy now.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by LisaB @ 10/28/14 12:50 AM

Hey Card, feel better! Yuck! I say don't worry too much about the dating question at this point. Just go mysterious and if it ever comes up again use Maybell's line, that is perfect. It is basically what I said to my WAH when he asked if I was datin
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: still holding on - 4 by PeterV2 @ 10/28/14 12:35 AM

Well she admitted she introduced a third person into the marriage and she's sorry. First of all you have you forgive her and tell that you do. You can also admit that you were a bad husband but you need to back that up with examples and then follow
Midlife Crisis
Um, I think I'm the one that hasn't been around. You guys are doing great. Can't wait to see this statue of Eric :-) Heather
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Riding the rollercoaster by PeterV2 @ 10/28/14 12:21 AM

Dawgy, you have to cut her loose from your life. I know it's hard to do and seems so counterintuitive. But believe me, it will give you a different perspective. You have to stop focusing on her. Focus on yourself. Work on improving yourself. Like Sta
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Card29 @ 10/28/14 12:17 AM

She also has outwardly encouraged me to date on a couple of occasions. I wonder if she is trying to remove some of the blame of the S from herself and put it on me? At BD, she asked "do you want me to move out?" A few days later she told me
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife having emotional affair part 3 by sandi2 @ 10/28/14 12:15 AM

Quote:Sandi I don't think your telling me to explode on her are you? Heavens no. When I said turn it loose, I wasn't referring to your temper. I just meant to let go of how you can't do anything about her poor parenting, and let go of the agri
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Dynamic of a family revised by LoisB @ 10/28/14 12:14 AM

Mighty, You're gonna have one he!! of a book after all this! I know I'd read it :-) I'm glad you are getting a weekend away. I hope it's relaxing and rejuvenating and everything you and the kids need. It's obvious to me that you are going to be ju
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Maybell @ 10/28/14 12:13 AM

Just don't engage in R talk. If she tries to start one just politely say "I'm not prepared to have this conversation right now." And feel better. Food poisoning, yikes!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Card29 @ 10/28/14 12:08 AM

Awesome post Sandi, and I wish I'd seen it about an hour ago. So the nausea I felt this morning that I thought was anxiety about WAS? Food poisoning. Been in bed since noon. WAW graciously brought a great anti-nausea pill over about 1/2 hour ago. I d
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore... by fthnluv @ 10/27/14 11:53 PM

Oh, and as far as I can tell his business expenses probably run $25-30k a year, making his net $150k less taxes...
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore... by fthnluv @ 10/27/14 11:52 PM

Ok, so a couple of things, I realize I cannot trust him financially. I *may* end up getting less by fighting him because I will, for sure, have to use up some of my savings to fight it. I do have a lawyer in PA and have hesitated to hire one in CA
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by LisaB @ 10/27/14 11:48 PM

I think that is the most amazing post I have ever read on here. Thank you Sandi!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: MLC and patience by RachelC @ 10/27/14 11:48 PM

I can name one incident. He has been increasingly unhappy over the past three years. His parents have recently gotten very ill. The prostate cancer was the tipping point. I found this quote on his iPad So many people live within unhappy circumst
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2) by 1foot2 @ 10/27/14 11:42 PM

I guess I should clarify that I'm not really trying to "reel her in" on household/family tasks. That's on her, and I've done really well at having no expectations of her and thus little resentment in that area. It's more the cake eating asp
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Positive steps then withdraws by RachelC @ 10/27/14 11:38 PM

Thank you Jack_three_beans
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Maybell @ 10/27/14 11:34 PM

Thanks, Sandi, I needed that. I had started to forget my mission.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: What is going on in their heads? by 1foot2 @ 10/27/14 11:31 PM

While we're paging starsky, I'd toss it out there for him to have a look at my thread. Contemplating and struggling to change to a more forceful approach. (Sorry to hijack zimmy!)
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