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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: the road goes ever on and on... by JellyB @ 02/08/16 09:46 PM

Just an acknowledgement of you my awesome friend. No more no less The thank you is for what you give. Nothing to do with me.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW, My Addiction, Patience, and Hope - III by trumpet @ 02/08/16 09:46 PM

Sandi, Just trying to find things to do around the house - yes, the message is that I'm a different guy than the one I was a few months/years ago. Did have a convo with wife - she has still done NC, but is still struggling with having to leave the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The start of my Happiness 3 by Tyler12 @ 02/08/16 09:40 PM

Having a thought/ realization that is small but gives me hope for the future. After Bday, I can't remember how long after, I decided that to make myself more attractive to W I would grow and maintain a goatee. I have always been clean shaven and t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm brand new here by Zues126 @ 02/08/16 09:39 PM

You're doing awesome. Keep posting here. You'll pick up a following in no time. You're actually in a more hopeful situation than most...but it's still a really hard path, with a lot of uncertainty. Do you have a DB Coach yet?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: the road goes ever on and on... by Zues126 @ 02/08/16 09:37 PM

Originally Posted By: JellyBHey you! Just offering a wink and nudge and thank you. You know why. Jelly xxx Hey JB! Replying with a casual nod and eyebrow raise, a playful 'that hurt', and a 'you're most very welcome'. I think I do if it involves
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: When the goal is positivity by Zues126 @ 02/08/16 09:32 PM

You're right Painter. He has a responsibility to provide for his children, and if he isn't willing to, she can't allow them to suffer because she is afraid of hurting his feelings. Strong boundaries and bold action are needed. My main point is tha
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Here we are by Maybell @ 02/08/16 09:32 PM

Hey, Claire, I kept my married name, in part for the hassle, in part for the kids... And there ARE moments I wished I'd changed it back. But my maiden name is extremely common -- like, Smith common -- and I liked having something a bit less common. A
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm brand new here by Phoebe @ 02/08/16 09:28 PM

Just a bump, hoping for some encouragement. Some days it seems I can just about keep my head above water, and today's been one of them. I keep trying to remind myself, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." I do the best when I'm pre
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: court date is around the corner by Painter @ 02/08/16 09:28 PM

Angel, I don't know how I missed your post from January, but I was going to come look for you today when I saw you had posted in Ancaire's thread! I'm sorry W played games with you over your daughter's birthday. You should document this entire even
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: the road goes ever on and on... by JellyB @ 02/08/16 09:27 PM

Hey you! Just offering a wink and nudge and thank you. You know why. Jelly xxx
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New night(s) by trumpet @ 02/08/16 09:23 PM

You said the right thing to him. Rock bottom will be when he realizes his words and actions have dug a hole so deep no one can lift him out. Then, he'll try to climb out himself, only to stumble back in. I'm not in your sitch, Kyrie, and I don't k
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hope is not a Strategy- It looks done by Squiggy @ 02/08/16 09:17 PM

Rich, the decision is yours, but I would recommend slowing down and not pushing. You have already done the steps of protecting yourself with an L. You are reacting to your emotions. As a survivor of infidelity and a pending divorce, I'm going to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Story by Shadoe @ 02/08/16 09:13 PM

Ugh.. so I broke the first rule in all my stumbling. I asked him if we were ever going to talk about what actually happened. *SLAM* door closed.. no answer.. no response. How do I fix this if I don't know what exactly the problem is? I love you but I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hope is not a Strategy- It looks done by Squiggy @ 02/08/16 09:10 PM

Quote:If you decide to open that can of worms, I would not leave the door open for her... I wouldn't say anything about living in an open M etc. or giving her that choice to come back. It doesn't mean that you wouldn't, but think about how it makes y
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Here we are by KGirl @ 02/08/16 09:07 PM

I changed my name but I don't have kids so it didn't really make sense to keep it (and it was always mispronounced so I was happy to be rid of it).. but changing it is a huge pain in the *** once you've accumulated more stuff to change. And yes, it
For Newcomers
So...it's kind of getting to crunch time on the V-day gift. I've been thinking strongly about getting W the bicycle she's been wanting for quite some time (so she can ride around the neighborhood w/ the kids). I would attach a note that simply says
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: KGirl - new life, new stuff by KGirl @ 02/08/16 08:53 PM

Thanks, all. Yes, I see a pattern of being interested in emotionally unavailable/avoidant people. Whether that's because I'M avoidant, I don't know.. or something else. As you said Mozza, I think I see these people as a "safe" choice beca
For Newcomers
ancaire as i was reading that long paragraph a lot of that reflected back to my situation. Everything is so fast , it's unbelievable. Everything is blamed on you. You didnt even know he/she was keeping a scoreboard. You know why we dont keep scoreboa
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Here we are by claire7 @ 02/08/16 08:51 PM

And one more random question that keeps popping into my head... For those of you who took your spouse's name, did you change back to your maiden name? Why or why not? I don't really want my maiden name. I don't want to have a different name than
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New beginnings! by Grlonfr @ 02/08/16 08:45 PM

Wow, Di, I am amazed! Dragonboating requires a lot of strength! I would never have been able to do well in it even in my teens or twenties. You really are an amazing woman. I don't think I will ever be able to go back to school. Sorry that your H
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: hurt and angry part deux by HaWho @ 02/08/16 08:42 PM

Yes MLC is more like a rotisserie oven!!! But a herky-jerky one!! LOVE this and I am laughing out loud! Go Tfish!!! After BD but before I knew it was MLC I suggested m counseling. H's very serious response (with straight face and shark eyes): &
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: Ancaire This whole thing has moved so quickly my mind is still spinning! I feel like I'm coming to terms with it, reluctantly. I do know that I'd rather be on my own, if the alternative is being with this new version who shrinks
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm brand new here by Shadoe @ 02/08/16 08:28 PM

Hi. I am so sorry you are going through this too.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW - Marching to the D by isittoolate @ 02/08/16 08:27 PM

Hi Sotto - You are such a kind and caring soul, thanks for all your advice! Please tell me about the good places, I am open to all ideas. It's late 3am and I'm tired after a work meal and late drinks so forgive me if I'm brief X
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: When the goal is positivity by Grlonfr @ 02/08/16 08:16 PM

Julie, your sitch is very similar to mine, and your H to my xh. The finances were always an issue btw us. His mother instilled in him a fear that I was the money grabber. Our D negotiations went through without having to go to court but it was to my
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