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Originally Posted By: Toots I guess I need to do some more work on detaching. I can see what you mean, that it's a form of chasing because he hasn't made a response. I'm just poking him in a different way.....I guess I didn't fully grasp this one a
Interesting day. Last night with the spew, a few things that she said ... smh type things was she was threatening to remove my last name and go with her maiden name... I think she was attempting to push my buttons to see if I would lose my temper,
Hi Koalada I'm sure there are ways in which we could have been better spouses. And that is something to take responsibility for and work on. However, your W had choices and she is responsible for those. She could have told you how unhappy she had be
I'm still having trouble with enforcing boundaries. Sometimes I have the strength to hang up the phone when she starts spewing, sometimes I don't. The time-out suggestion we got from our therapist was the best one so far because it allows us a way t
Hi Matt, came by to check on you - I see you are not doing so well. Glad to read that your father is doing better though. Mighty gave you good advice re: boss. The irony is that even if you were not there, your boss would find someone else to 'pick
Thanks Wonka I guess I just got angry today. Thinking, why am I waiting to hear back from him? After all that has happened? Is this how I want to be? But I don't want to put myself in a worse position. Maybe I'll just try and feel power in the sil
Update: Just a quick update regarding my life moving forward. I went to San Francisco on Sunday and had a great time. I came back to one of the upstairs bathroom toilets overflowing. I asked my niece what happened, and she said it had been running f
Thanks Fogg, I haven't caught up on your thread for a while, I'll swing by in a moment. You're right in that as much as I don't want any of this, it has to happen so I tried to take control of the situation and make it happen as soon as I could so
Originally Posted By: sandi2 You must take a different view or approach to how you deal with her at this time. You cannot trust her. It is not an issue of her trusting you. She is the one who broke the bond of trust in the M. You did not break you
This ^^^ is excellent advice. If he wants the divorce or separation, he needs to be the one to follow through. Originally Posted By: CherryI am focused on trying to make myself feel good. I know when I met him I had tonnes of confidence, and he foun
Quote:Whenever a child had rather go to foster care than live at home with his own mother.......somebody had better get their head on what's most important in this mess. It makes me cringe to read how he wets the bed and has nightmares about his moth
I wanted to ask this question. My wife also claims that I haven't been possessive, never told her "you're mine". Something OM told her once.. arrrrgggghhh.... The A is already happening, how could it get worse? Maybe the OM is so confide
Hey Mozza. Thanks for the cheerleading, although I do feel like a failure as far as DB'ing goes. I'm not busting one I'm afraid, I'm filing for one. Regarding the chance of R, honestly, I know what you're saying about the success stories. I've read
M2, Just like you, I was terribly afraid of H moving, but after I didn't stand in his way he stopped blaming me for all his woes. He treats me with much more respect, we've managed to stay cordial, and he's made no moves to file. The point is you ne
Quote:Remember you are going to make changes for YOU, not to win her back. Which of these things "sting"? Those are the things to change. Just to be clear... I don't want her back. She's bipolar and one of the therapist through the
Based on what you just said, no go on the MC. He is looking an easy way out. I would not give it to him. If he wants a divorce don't stand in his way but by no means help him get it, and I would pretty much express that. Something like: "I under
Thank you Sandi Yes I am waiting very patiently. I really want to work on these things. So I am very grateful for your help and V. Yes I was practicing for the future. I absolutely was not referring to her present job. Thank you Sandi!
Toots, Don't bother for if you do send that second email...it will just put you in a weaker and needy position. Don't. Silence is powerful from your position. You are strong and don't need to hear back from him. ACTIONS, not words. You're pokin
Regarding the credit card : we have had one bank account for us as a couple. I have opened my own bank account now and I will tell the bank that I will no longer use the old one. Certainly our debts belong to me too, but I am no longer responsible fo
Originally Posted By: Swabby If i say nothing, won't she just continue with impunity? If i say something to family/friends, i'm sure she'll be pissed and upset, and it might backfire even more. She's going to continue whether you give her "permi
Thanks for posting guys. I read the thread on letting them go today. It really got me wondering why I am waiting to hear back from H. I'm wondering whether I'm now ready to post this: H, I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind and reply t
Hi Cristy Thanks for dropping by. I was thinking about coaching as well but I don't live in US/Canada. I guess normal overseas rates will apply when calling from Europe. Are there other options like Skype?