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You need a plan of action for yourself. Know what you are doing. "Taking whatever may happen" as some people may say, is not a clear plan. That's why I suggested you do some deep thinking about your values and principles, your belief sys
Ok. Up virtually all night in pain and even despair. Can't see a way forward. All roads look like oceans of pain and heartbreak, and things I've always wanted to believe in like love and commitment all seem like broken illusions. Now my STBX calls.
Guess that question is answered- Went to the family computer to print my boarding pass- she left the email application open and she registered for Match.com this morning. Also she changed the email account for it to a hushmail account I never new ex
I need a slap on the head and a zipper for my mouth. I try so hard to not get drawn in. I try to just observe his behavior and not react. I have worked all weekend. Yesterday I came home and s was still in pyjamas. Ss19 was sitting in the exact sam
So, during last Monday's tide-turning conversation with H, he said he had seen a counselor but had stopped. When I asked why, he said he didn't think it was helping, and that he needed to find someone who could delve deeper to help him identify what
Thanks everyone for the advice so far. I really appreciate it. Quote:Get alone and take a long, deep look in a full length mirror. Study the man you see, and compare him to the man you were before M. Be painfully honest with yourself and digg deep.
Quote:Having said that, I wonder if it's the volume that is a turn off more than the individual questions themselves? Like it's just all too much at once? As we all know, I do tend to want to push and plough through things. I'm wondering if a better
Great post, MB! But beware of this "I hope I can keep this up." Don't go there. Of course you won't be sunny delight 24/7 but stay in the moment. Some minutes, hours, days will be great, others won't. No matter what, you know that emotio
Hey rp, yes it will hurt but she (and the other 2) will look to you for how to move through it. One or the other of them may feel the need to take care of you. Answer questions they ask but don't over answer. If they're dad question, refer them to
Bob, do you have a large support group "cheering" on a D as opposed to a large support group helping you resolve your M problems? (Which, by the way are not abnormal.) You try very hard to be the victim. People who love us want us to stop
Thanks zew. I will definitely take it very slowly. This type of convo is definitely NOT a strength for H. I think the most important questions to me are bullets #2 and #3. I will try to find a good time to attempt discussing #3, see how it goes a
Train, I haven't been piecing as long as you have but your post I could have typed myself. I feel these internal demons of will it happe again and if it happened after only a short time of unhappiness will we both let it get to that point again? And
So what does mdu say? 1 step forward, 1000 steps back- well that was my Saturday night. GAL'ed all day, ran errands, and other than D's sporting event, had little contact with W. Came home, put on a football game and cooked a nice meal for the famil
The issue of you being there fof her emotionally? I think you are doing it as much out of you own EN as hers. As the LBH, you have that need to connect with her. As I told you before, she has two men meeting her needs. In your logical VP, it se
I've complimented him about making time for D on the past with hopes he will make efforts to spend time with her. Not much progress with that.Oh, i want trying to come back to me or stay with me. I was trying to get him to be around for his daughter
It's a man thing, not a volume thing. Thankfully Starsky backed me up on this. Maybe it's not just me. You know your H better than we do. Was he ever capable of such a conversation? If so, I'd proceed very very slowly. And the second to last po