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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In need of help and advice by Cadet @ 07/28/15 09:47 AM

Shimmy I hope they can help you too, however you have to help yourself right now. There is no magic buttons or pills that will FIX this, just lots of hard work. Read the homework and start working on yourself, I was also in the Air Force a long time
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS trying to get it right by Ghost56 @ 07/28/15 08:45 AM

Fogg Thank you for your support I am greatful We are at 2 completely different points I want to work to saving the M and She is looking at moving forward with little or no interest in saving it I do not see a way back from this so got to try t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New here. by little1 @ 07/28/15 08:42 AM

I am a little curious about something. Is there a thread on here or does someone know the general statics on situations like ours? Such as gender of leaver OW/OM? After they leave, how long generally does it take for them to start making moves to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally, letting go of the rope. (Smothy 8) by Smothy @ 07/28/15 08:35 AM

Huddy, the contradictions and ok for him to ask keeps on coming. H hates conflict. Finally pulling back and letting go :-)
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally, letting go of the rope. (Smothy 8) by Smothy @ 07/28/15 08:33 AM

Zues, I have been measuring my progress with his actions. Up until yesterday, I was scared 'to make the wrong move' in case the pendulum never moved back. H is not the person I knew back in Feb before BD. last night I even started thinking how sad
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: It's over by Huddy @ 07/28/15 08:28 AM

That's a kicker. You're gonna be a wreck, it's OK. Then get up and rebuild yourself.
For Newcomers
Two women is a bit extreme. He must have some willpower. Studtastic! Seriously, do either of the OW know about each other? He's playing everybody and having a whale of a time. Time to cut him down to size. Limit his options. It's make your min
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Picnic by the Lighthouse IV (9) by Fogg @ 07/28/15 08:13 AM

I see, I guess it is the first time having anger over the miscarriage other than the self hate toward myself in the very beginning due to BD. I have to remember there's two cycles of grief running even if there very connected. Loss of the child and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Finally, letting go of the rope. (Smothy 8) by Smothy @ 07/28/15 08:11 AM

I am starting a new thread, after finding out about the texting with two OW. I have reached the point where i am ready to let go. Old thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2591942&page=10 I have spe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The going gets tough! (Smothy 7) by Smothy @ 07/28/15 08:10 AM

I am ready to let go of the rope. New thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=newpost&Board=20
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS trying to get it right by Fogg @ 07/28/15 08:08 AM

You have a few options if you do want to go. Talk to her and see if there is a way both of you can have your plan. Work together. Find a baby sitter and go out with your friend. See if your friend can go out another night. However, you can't jus
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Picnic by the Lighthouse IV (9) by Vanilla @ 07/28/15 07:58 AM

Fogg I was referring to anger about the miscarriage, apologies if I wasn't clear. The hurt cycle will end and then you can celebrate the life you lost, the bundle of precious hope that was your child, briefly yours. A gift of love which is life's lo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS trying to get it right by Fogg @ 07/28/15 07:55 AM

Just make sure you're taking off the ring because that's what you want. Not to get a reaction from W or prove anything to anyone. Detaching is a long difficult process and something that won't happen overnight. GAL and finding what you love to do,
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS trying to get it right by Ghost56 @ 07/28/15 07:51 AM

I have a question re GAL my W suggested that she goes out on Saturday nights and I go out Sunday nights she has got plans for two weeks time but I have a friend that wants me to go out with him on the same Saturday night what do you think I should d
For Newcomers
^^ agree with this. The pain and suffering of losing our spouses is difficult but we manage to use a chit situation and make the best of it to better ourselves. We could easily allow this to consume us and make our lives worse, let it wash over us
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Picnic by the Lighthouse IV (9) by Fogg @ 07/28/15 07:37 AM

I've had anger about the sitch come up many times before not so much about the miscarriage. It doesn't stay that long and im not afraid of lashing out at her about it, just getting defensive since im not sure she's in a place where she accepts I was
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The going gets tough! (Smothy 7) by Huddy @ 07/28/15 07:27 AM

Another big pile of contradictions. They enjoy the arguments (seeing that myself) so pull back and let go. Limit the options for the WAS.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In the UK - need help (pt9) by Huddy @ 07/28/15 07:24 AM

Morning all Thanks for advice. I have calmed down quite a bit. I can see how my actions have got her thinking and she has pulled the rope and I'm still holding on. That's a mistake. I can see I have been in appeasement mode, not really detached.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Falling Pianos: Wayward Wife & LRT (8) by Fogg @ 07/28/15 07:22 AM

Interactions with W look great defacto, keep up the great work. That allegation she's made is tough with the situation you're in but I think your doing the beat you can. I can understand thinking it may be her justifying things that have happened.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Picnic by the Lighthouse IV (9) by Vanilla @ 07/28/15 07:18 AM

Fogg I am glad to see some anger in you. It marks a corner, a change. It's part of the grief curve. I recommend that you google Elisabeth Kubler Ross the five stages of grief and consider acquiring the book. It was very helpful to me. My sweet, I d
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In need of help and advice by Shimmy @ 07/28/15 07:17 AM

I know I can't. I'm meeting with behavioral health on base on the 4th. Hoping they can help me.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: V is for Vanilla 20 by Fogg @ 07/28/15 07:12 AM

Great recap in previous thread. I think the focus on recovery is a good place for the threads also. It was already starting to be that anyway. Doing amazing V, absolutely a success story, keep it going
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife moved out and filed for divorce by Bobbyb @ 07/28/15 06:59 AM

I don't bring it up. She just says we are where we are by your actions. Then goes into the whole. Why didn't you listen to me to begin with and why did it have to get to counseling. I am working on myself.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: It's over by Fogg @ 07/28/15 06:59 AM

Take a deep breath, BEC. Things are only over when you decide they are, her filing doesn't have to be the end. Don't let this shake you and backslide, continue to DB and work on yourself. You will likely need legal help very soon so don't make any
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: V is for Vanilla 20 by Vanilla @ 07/28/15 06:53 AM

I loved some of the other suggestions for the name of the thread, especially yours RD, and they are in the pot for thread 30! V
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