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Midlife Crisis
Enjoy the concert!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: MLC-WAW, my storypart II by topgunmb @ 08/17/14 02:07 PM

Definitely a positive! Be thankful that she has the character to do a little introspective on her actions and apologize. Even if it is just baby steps forward, at least it's momentum in a positive direction.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: What to do with my Picnic now? by bustingout @ 08/17/14 02:04 PM

I have been reflecting on the talks I have had with H as of late ( we had another one four days ago). There has been some clarity and some more confusion. My reflections based on what he has said and behavior: He said he was thinking of going on a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell VII by Maybell @ 08/17/14 02:01 PM

I haven't responded to his invitation yet. I think I should not go, but I don't know how to reply to him the best way. I welcome suggestions if anyone has any. Thanks!
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: H's MLC #3 by 2BHappy @ 08/17/14 02:00 PM

Another day of standing. I will continue to work on the changes Im making to be a better me. Need to read more success stories this week. I know some M make it and some dont. Right now I need support to keep standing. H was joking with me today b
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell VII by Maybell @ 08/17/14 01:58 PM

I didn't worry about it at all. The damage has been done.
Midlife Crisis
Great response, Shining. I think you are doing really well. That type of response is all you can offer him now. Just enough and not too much. ------------------- It's hard to see a glimmer of your old H, then find out that there are going to be m
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dropped the rope finally by woundedfool @ 08/17/14 01:47 PM

Glad to hear this has taken this turn. I think now is the time to solicit "professional" help (sbt counselors/therapists, DB coaches, clergy, etc.) I don't think it unreasonable that he shoulder the bulk of the financial responsibility (
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by Zues126 @ 08/17/14 01:40 PM

Makes sense Jacket. The grass ISN'T greener. The funny part is that I easily could've been a WAH at some point. A wife with three children that resented my expectations and felt victimized and abused, who in turn withdrew and made her life about t
Midlife Crisis
Ok, I flew solo.... Here was my response: "I understand you are pulling back the reigns. I am enjoying the time, too, but I can see where it may seem like we are ignoring some big things. That isn't my intention. Resolving old stuff can h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by Jacket @ 08/17/14 01:31 PM

Zues, You've already come a long way by realizing you've abandoned yourself. Inner Bonding then talks about what to do to reconnect to yourself. Good luck with it! I still abandon myself at times too but have gotten better at not letting it happen.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by Zues126 @ 08/17/14 01:26 PM

Thanks SS. It's SO confusing. Through my life I've been out of touch with my emotions and have lived in my mind, this has both distorted my reality AND made it hard to make good choices when it's too complicated to analyze. For example. I am addi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by GoatGal @ 08/17/14 01:22 PM

Zues, Thanks for the very thoughtful post above ^^^. Your statement about fantasy being so seductive is spot on. It will never fix what's broken, and it's not real. Unfortunately, my H continues to chase the fantasy of the "Right Person"
Midlife Crisis
Wonka: "The only problem I have with your list is this:" Originally Posted By: LoopyGGG THEORETICAL CONVO COMEBACKS: If H says:"But I want to start dating and that means I have to be gone more" I Might Say: "Dating. Hmmm...
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by Ss06 @ 08/17/14 01:10 PM

Zues, You're really speaking to me here, man. I feel like I was meant to read your most recent post because I feel like you're stating a lot of what my H hasn't yet discovered about himself (like my mind reading?). He has a fantasy of what marriag
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Doing all right by BrightFuture @ 08/17/14 01:01 PM

Thanks everyone, Ss06, Bea, Job and NLT, for telling me that I didn’t do anything to cause this behavior. I kind of knew that, but could not help to think that it must have been so awful for him to have a R with me. My guess is that maybe the work
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 1st post. Long but please read, help! by Zues126 @ 08/17/14 12:47 PM

Thanks Jacket. I will check out that book. If you read back in my post a few weeks ago I realized my fear of abandonment wasn't from anyone else, but from me abandoning myself. I'm not going the route of Sex Addicts Anonymous for a couple of reaso
Midlife Crisis
Wonka, I'll respond to you in a sec. Meanwhile--can you all say--all together now: "KER-FLOOEY!!!"????? What the heck is happening now? Here's how it went down. H texts me about 8 AM, says "Be there 9:30" Ok. so far, so good.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: MLC-WAW, my storypart II by CaliGuy @ 08/17/14 12:27 PM

Update: W asked me yesterday if I had plans (as she picked up S) I told her I infact did. I told her I would be going to church and she was free to join me ... she replied she would like that and asked if we could pick up a redbox movie after. I act
Midlife Crisis
Shining, I think the key for me has been to get centered in MYSELF and with my Higher Power. Find that safe place where you are a separate human being from your H...his decisions are about him and your decisions are about you. Get quiet and find th
Midlife Crisis
The few glimpses I saw of old H this week were very nice. Deep down I knew it wasn't going to last. Trying to focus on the positives of having the opportunity to spend time with him, but struggling. But, I have to remember this isn't about me.
Midlife Crisis
WELL Peeps...Gonna go glam up for One Direction. I will probably be Mrs. Harry Styles by tomorrow. Smokey's loss is Harry's gain. :-) Wish me luck. Mighty, wherever you are...hope you had fun last night. I've got the ear plugs.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying Again by topgunmb @ 08/17/14 12:08 PM

Need some help/advice/maybe a 2x4 to the head. It feels lately that we have gone back to almost where things were this time last year. After it felt like we were moving toward a friendlier place (I tried to keep any expectations that I had to a m
Midlife Crisis
Forgot how I GOT PNEUMONIA too!!
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts My life, a transformation still in progress by suckerpunch @ 08/17/14 12:07 PM

It is coming up on 2 years since I experienced my BD. I have pulled back from the boards, over the last several months. I am not exactly sure why, but I think it has a lot to do with giving up hope on my sitch. Lately, I have been feeling a lot bette
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