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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by kml @ 11/21/14 04:49 PM

Look, I don't think you have to get crazy about the "don't contact me!" stuff - it just lets on that you are still bothered by him, which means he is still getting a reaction. Just be short and succinct in your responses. Leave out the per
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: My MLC Zombie Apocalypse Part II by ForeverYoung @ 11/21/14 04:48 PM

Originally Posted By: CaliGuyBut there is that hurt little boy I am trying to silence that realizes she does not want the M, does not want the family .. .and does not want me ... and its hard to not take that personal. That's where she is now, and
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Jefe's always confused. Pt 6 by CaliGuy @ 11/21/14 04:46 PM

Jefe .. just caught up ... something jumped out at me. The GAL thing ... and how you do not really want to do these things as you were "content" with the M and family. I get that ... I was the same and did not want to appear I was having
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided and on my own (9) by bdub @ 11/21/14 04:45 PM

RPP there have been a lot of really good posts about the mindset of a WAS in an A. Be careful about allowing D16 to speak to her dad that way. Now, more than ever, she needs guidance and wisdom. You are that source. Now is a chance to show her h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Busting this Divorce - Separating by Vanilla @ 11/21/14 04:45 PM

Airport for work I believe page 3 of this thread V
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Just need support by rppfl @ 11/21/14 04:43 PM

Originally Posted By: RAIP.S. rppfl - I noticed in your signature that your S just started. good luck. I hope you are ok with it. Thanks, RAI. It's a whole new world this week. I'm not OK with it in that I didn't want it. I'm OK with it in that I
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by LoisB @ 11/21/14 04:40 PM

He said we have to maintain communication because of our children. Smokey: We have to maintain communication because of our children. you take care also.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by LoisB @ 11/21/14 04:35 PM

Text sent.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2 by CaliGuy @ 11/21/14 04:35 PM

Rzr ... I have been there. You feel if you are there for her emotionally its the way to get back in her "good graces" I assure you ... this will bring you months/years of pain . The Wet Noodle/ Back bone thing is spot on. If she brings up
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: How to start rebuilding? - 2 by Hoju @ 11/21/14 04:34 PM

Got a text from W this morning saying she wouldn't be able to come get the swing on Monday like she had planned and asked if i would be home wednesday. I told her I would be and asked if she needed any help. She then asked if I still played hockey on
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Jefe's always confused. Pt 6 by Jefe @ 11/21/14 04:30 PM

No I have not. The picture of the family I have read is strictly form the big book. I'll jump on Amazon here in a sec.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Just need support by Little @ 11/21/14 04:29 PM

Originally Posted By: RAILittle, I am trying to see it from her perspective. The part I am struggling with is that she made terrible choices. She chose to go outside the M. How could someone choose that? If your H is selfish and controlling, you go f
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Divorced and moving out.....still hopeful by NewB3 @ 11/21/14 04:26 PM

I know she wants to be friends. She said that in MC last month, prior to me moving out. She knows I do not want that and knows it will take time to get to that. Little does she know that her (6 months or so)timeline for me to come around as a friend
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by LoisB @ 11/21/14 04:24 PM

ok
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
UC, Checking in on you. Please let us know what's up with you and how you're doing.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by Wonka @ 11/21/14 04:21 PM

Heather, What you need to do is put a stop to this madness. Swat the tennis ball back in his court and then walk away from the arena. I suggest that you send a short text: Thank you for the insurance premium. Please be advised that this will be
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 7 by NewB3 @ 11/21/14 04:21 PM

Originally Posted By: zewIf you end up D, then no, you probably won't be friends, because your friends don't treat you this way. But even then you have a decision to make. You can learn forgiveness, move on, passively not be friends without being a
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Jefe's always confused. Pt 6 by labug @ 11/21/14 04:18 PM

Have you read The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage? It's somewhat dated, and the role of women is from a different era but the basic dynamic of an alcoholic marriage doesn't change.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: My MLC Zombie Apocalypse Part II by CaliGuy @ 11/21/14 04:17 PM

So ... not to much to add today but I figured I would journal a bit. Interactions with W ... Last night had parent teachers conference .. I arrived about 10 min early, stopped off and prayed at the little chapel, then went into the room, W car was
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Really need some help by Struck @ 11/21/14 04:17 PM

My WAS and I were together for 6 years before getting married a little over a year ago. Had you asked me 3 days ago, I would have said we have a happy relationship and my wife wouldn't leave me for the world. She has a 10 year old son that I have b
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by LoisB @ 11/21/14 04:15 PM

This is his pattern. I completely get where you guys are coming from...but, for 30 years...this is his pattern. M screws up big time. M defiantly uses his drugs and continues on his path of self-destruction until M realizes he is losing his family. T
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 7 by Tarheel @ 11/21/14 04:13 PM

Thanks Zew- wise words indeed! Hope things are going well with you. That's actually how I had been feeling (and acting) up until the recent discovery. We didn't need to be friends, but I didn't have to be a jerk either. I'm just having a setback tha
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Divorced and moving out.....still hopeful by NewB3 @ 11/21/14 04:11 PM

She is asking what my plans are for next week. Her parents live in town and family will come to visit for the week. She has made it clear that I am invited to come over at anytime w/ just a call. No pressure huh??? WOW. I have told her I am not sure
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Divorced and moving out.....still hopeful by labug @ 11/21/14 04:08 PM

Hi NewB, I skimmed your threads. I need to go back and read the first few but knowing what you know now, why did your W want a D? You do a lot of mindreading about what her actions might mean. I could read them in a very different light. About th
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Black Knight by LoisB @ 11/21/14 04:07 PM

Received this text. Smokey: Heather, I understand the pain that this situation has caused and I'm feeling it too. Just wanted you to know. Also, I paid the insurance premium for this month including all three vehicles. Hope you guys are buried in sn
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