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For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ 05/22/13 03:52 PM

I honestly believe that they are just friends. I honestly believe that she may not give his friendship up. I know that I can not reconcile with him as her friend. I know that I have said what I needed to and now need to let it go and focus on me.

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by newman7977 @ 05/22/13 03:47 PM

Hey Jp, glad you're back and some good news. Take it slow man. I know you're still working on you, but IMO, the roadblock OM getting out of the way will help. Good luck JP! Newman

Walk-Away-Spouse

Re: WAS About-Face - Or - When The FOG Finally Lifts by Jeff751 @ 05/22/13 03:45 PM

Originally Posted By: Live4myDayI'm apologize I didn't mean to take over this thread. There is so much insight here from LostinScared, I just got carried away and desperate for answers. Please see my posts to respond. This will be the hardest th

For Newcomers

Re: Still Living, 23 months by jp787 @ 05/22/13 03:44 PM

Originally Posted By: adinva By the way, here's where I am today on the question of verbal abuse. My H absolutely has all the signs of someone incapable of being in a mutual relationship: needing to be one up, innocuous and constant belittling of ev

Midlife Crisis

Re: Less lonely, not scared..low on patience by JBolt @ 05/22/13 03:43 PM

BTW, looks like I'll be moving to Surviving the Big D soon. I plan to still keep up with sitches in Newcomers and especially MLC. I don't comment much, but I still learn a lot about both MLC and just basic human behavior, interaction and especially

For Newcomers

Re: Crimson.....Holy smokes, I'm piecing, by sandi2 @ 05/22/13 03:40 PM

You have really grown, Crimson, I just hope your W has grown as well. Quote:but I am not putting my mother in front of my XW and son. If she opts to hang on to her ill feelings, that is on her. Good job! I was beginning to think you had never hea

Midlife Crisis

Re: Less lonely, not scared..low on patience by JBolt @ 05/22/13 03:39 PM

Thank you snodderly and MM, I know this board isn't about people getting divorced (though that does happen a lot, even with appearently well exectued and consistant DB'ing). At first I saw the principles behind DB as a way to get my wife back (duh,

Midlife Crisis

Re: Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!! by golf mom @ 05/22/13 03:36 PM

B, you didn't deserve this. I doubt your H has found the love of his life. He might be distracted, but until he takes the time (a long time) to sort himself out he will eventually realize that all of the same issues followed him. Your H has a plan

For Newcomers

Re: Still Living, 23 months by Tallula @ 05/22/13 03:27 PM

Wow, just wow. That's some great insight. I have some very similar fears with my H moving back in, even if it's just until after the baby comes we are settled financially enough to D. I can breath in my home. I am comfortable. I can make sandw

For Newcomers

Re: Not sure what strategy to use. by sandi2 @ 05/22/13 03:21 PM

Quote:The only problem is that, in an unexpected term of events, my wife agreed at the last minute to a one-month trial period, This statement is what concerns me the most. What could happen for her to decide to give you one more month to shape up,

Midlife Crisis

Re: The unexpected journey continues by golf mom @ 05/22/13 03:18 PM

What I meant was the 50% statistic doesn't apply to long term marriages.

For Newcomers

Re: Check out time. by adinva @ 05/22/13 03:11 PM

Jeack, in my opinion the car lease is a business deal. You have an agreement. You need to take a hard line especially in the beginning or you set precedent and let it get all squishy. The deal was with your W, not her mom, right? So you don't tell h

For Newcomers

Re: Still Living, 23 months by adinva @ 05/22/13 03:02 PM

Thanks for stopping by, my buddies! Barelyfloating, welcome change, no. I don't relish him coming over, it stirs up feelings and there's this crazy hope and my thoughts drift to hypothetical conversations that don't happen. I'm almost terrified that

Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again

Re: Continuing The Positive Changes by PowerOfNow @ 05/22/13 02:59 PM

Not sure how to lay down the law. If I tell her that something is unacceptable I get this response text book "nobody is asking you to stay here" The only law I could see is ultimatum or make her start owning that she is unwilling to work

Midlife Crisis

Re: H is back in Replay after a brief period of sanity by LindaM @ 05/22/13 02:51 PM

The old threads are SO helpful! Except that I can't stop reading them and I am supposed to be working. So....what ever happened with your so-called friend, the one who claimed to be the LBS but actually was the MCLer? I have read up to October 200

For Newcomers

Re: DBing, GALing and living oh my! by cbtdad @ 05/22/13 02:49 PM

Doing good! Still learning the craziness of a WAW. Lol Yesterday she asked me if I wanted to go to North Carolina with her in a few weeks. I just changed the subject to son. I was thinking to myself how about we take a trip to the MC instead of North

For Newcomers

Re: What's Going On?!? - Cautiously Contemplating by Tallula @ 05/22/13 02:48 PM

Hahahaha! Awesome. Well, my D2 is like the happiest little thing you will ever meet. For real, it's a-ma-zing! My son is just like most kids, in the moment, hilarious, childlike wonder. But D2, man. Everyone says it. She is just pure joy, fun an

For Newcomers

Re: Needing some guidance... 6 by jks @ 05/22/13 02:47 PM

So I went to S5's preschool graduation this morning and H warned me last night that OW would be there. I have been dreading this moment for a long, long time. I was going to have a friend come with me for moral support but she had something else she

For Newcomers

Re: LRT during divorce proceedings by sandi2 @ 05/22/13 02:45 PM

IMHO, your WAW should pursue you if things are to get better. Until that time, you should not make matters worse by asking her out on a date. It will show her a desperate man who is pining away for her. That is not what she should be seeing in you

Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again

Re: Continuing The Positive Changes by MrBond @ 05/22/13 02:44 PM

One thing you're going to need to understand is that her saying she's being "smothered" by you is just you establishing boundaries. There are some things that you just shouldn't have to take or else you're going to be walking on eggshells t

For Newcomers

Re: Help! Patience is tough by BrightFuture @ 05/22/13 02:41 PM

I’m currently in LRT and have almost no contact with H. I don’t have FB, neither does he. Some of our common friends have FB. At my last DB coaching session my DB coach suggested to open the FB account for me, so I could post my GAL activities, in ho

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by reachingHigher @ 05/22/13 02:41 PM

OMG, T^2, that was your actual anniversary? I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the ache in your heart. Thank you for taking the time to update us all. I was so wondering how it went. How can she bear to give you up? You're such a treasure! *sh

For Newcomers

Re: What's Going On?!? - Cautiously Contemplating by RealityTrip @ 05/22/13 02:40 PM

Thanks SD!!! Just placed my order for Facing Codependence. Thinking I will start there. I'm pretty visual. Lol! Tallula! "Weeeeeeee!" makes me think of that insurance commercial with the little piggy holding a pinwheel gleefully "

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by TSquared2 @ 05/22/13 02:37 PM

lol, coupla other things... -A few times I really got her attention when i said that i did certain things wrong, and how her criticisms allowed me to really look at, and analyze some of my own mannerisms, and I could see how they could be annoying l

For Newcomers

Re: Newbie needing Advice by Mimi30 @ 05/22/13 02:36 PM

Our anniversary is tomorrow. I sent him a card based on what he said "we are still married/together, so anniversaries, birthdays etc... will be handled as such". Last time we talked I told him I mailed something out (he has a p.o. box, so h

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