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Quote:No doubt about that. Even though my W has not been acting very attractively lately, she knows it wouldn't take a heck of a lot of effort to get my attention, though don't tell her that. Me making that emotional connection with her, that's a lit
Hey MrBond and DaddyLongShanks thanks for the replies. Ive pretty much been trying to carry on this way. I go to lunch today and while I'm standing in line waiting on my sandwich to be made my W walks in with another guy. She didn't even notice
Thank-you. I needed that. I will not give her the letter. When I try and talk I usually get quite emotional and forget parts, or get distracted by something she says. Usually I try to have everything in a letter that I give her in person to read righ
bumping for feedback. I realize I'm showing impatience but I'm strongly considering dropping the rope sooner than later. Everything I've read about vaccliating and being the best guy you can be while your S decides just prolongs things and lessens
I love it thank you so much! I am gonna use that a lot in the coming months. Today is the day The Butterfly gets set free. Wish me luck and the strength to stay neutral, compassionate, strong in my convictions and solid as a rock in my values. I am
Originally Posted By: Toots But you know, now I'm just not so sure that I want us to remain M. I'm not sure that I don't want us to, but I'm not sure that I do either. Does anyone else feel that way? It's a bingo from me. Took me some time to get to
Hmmm....more thinking about this. When I do GAL - last night meet up with S9 class at a restaurant, I felt so.... alone.... out of place.... I kept a smile posted on my face, went up to people and talked and said hello. I ordered food for the kids
Ok.... lots to read and right now just not enough time BUT.. If wife is using phone you pay for to conduct her affair I would do this Tell her "using the phone I pay for to communicate with OM is disrespectful to me, you can either stop all com
Originally Posted By: CadetI guess my point is to stop worrying about him, he made his plans you made yours. Their are consequences to every decision we make in life, it is hard enough worrying about ourselves, dont further your burden worrying abou
I think the longer you wait to take action with your boundaries the harder it will be. The eventual backlash grows the longer you wait. When I discovered my W's EA I cut all communications and demanded transparency which I was able to monitor witho
Thank you mvg. I have been working on my wording with boundaries, and appreciate all of the insight here. Basically if she does ask, then I should outright tell her that I know? Or should I keep it a little more mysterious saying something like
Originally Posted By: sandi2 No argument there. I think your W has this attitude of sitting back and finding everything that isn't working, while saying, "Okay, if you think you can change mymind, then you prove otherwise". Then you try
I am just really tired of the lies!! It seems we can't get away from it. I just found out back in June that she lied to me for a year and a half about sending in our mortgage payments while we were in bankruptcy. I got the money orders and gave them
Did speak with lawyer and lawyer did warn me I would be on the hook for 50% of any debt she creates but that it would further help me validate how she was extremely poor with money in a custody dispute. I of course want to save my marriage and this
Don't tell her, DO something to protect your boundary. Like if she is using the phone to continue the A then stop paying for the phone. She comes in late, install an alarm (got that from Starsky, love it). She chats online with OM, cancel internet
I am very angry with her today. I want her to go and experience the pain she has caused me and our family. Some how I feel like I found my balls last night while running. I feel like I don't need or deserve any of this nor do I want to deal with her
There is a quote in one of my favorite psychiatrists books. I don't know if he penned it himself and it took me a long time to actually understand it. "we live in histories unmade bed" My opinion of this is people in general tend to reli
I guess my point is to stop worrying about him, he made his plans you made yours. Their are consequences to every decision we make in life, it is hard enough worrying about ourselves, dont further your burden worrying about him too.
I guess my understanding is if you are not associated with the credit card account you are not on the hook for it regardless who divorces who. Especially if you separate your income too. But I could be wrong. A lawyer can give you advice on that
Matt .. Its a good question Seems certain points in this journey I have found I am stuck here and there, typically its being stuck prior to moving forward with a bigger hurdle, maybe that was accepting something, maybe its letting go and not looking