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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Surrendering this battle to win the war. by Pyrite @ 05/03/15 02:09 PM

Originally Posted By: SmothyWhat I keep asking myself is this, which one will bring my M back? I know we need to detach and don't care but the reality is I have this at the forefront of my mind everyday. Same. everyday. but i think it gets less, o
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Surrendering this battle to win the war. by Zues126 @ 05/03/15 02:08 PM

Smothy, Py...I have been posting on a few threads, but take a look at the exchanges on JellyB's. How this ties in is that I DEFINITELY counted no STBX to reassure me that I wasn't horrible. So when she BD'd me and cited the things about myself that
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rd Moving on 6 by Toots @ 05/03/15 02:06 PM

I'm just adjusting this for you RD.. "W was great, caring and a great mum. All that's gone just now, and I have to accept that for the time being She has chosen someone else - albeit they may be only a friend - and left the family. It's what s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Old dog seeks new trick 13 by edz @ 05/03/15 02:02 PM

Hi od just catching up. On the subject of bd location that's the flat in my case. I was glad to be out of there but I will say with recent warming I dont mind being there now. I will add both w and I agree there's no way any reconciliation will inc
For Newcomers
Fantastic! You have given me some really good input from your own personal growth and it gave me thoughts for reflection. I would love to be where you are by the end of 2015.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Zelda - hang me up to dry by Zelda09 @ 05/03/15 01:59 PM

I am starting to doubt myself, I feel like I'm going nuts. Maybe H just lost his temper. Like he said, he didn't really throw those things at me or see me closing The front door when he slammed in into me, he said he thought I was already in the car
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: gan 6 - return to human be-ing by Zues126 @ 05/03/15 01:49 PM

Agreed. I'm not up to a 25km. I'm working on getting off the couch some days. Oh, below is an excerpt from a post on JB's thread. It was just something that helped explain the feelings a bit better. The idea was that rejecting sex consistently an
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Tips for getting W to confess A??? by SadDood @ 05/03/15 01:44 PM

Checked my mint account today and noticed W went to the big town for the weekend and stayed at Nice hotel and ate at nice restaurants all on her credit cards. in Past two weekends she has spent about a $1,200 on hotels and bars in the city (compared
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Surrendering this battle to win the war. by Pyrite @ 05/03/15 01:43 PM

just to clarify - it was too much pressure for her to bare. it was my worst nightmare and i suppose i needed reassurance more than ever. I was largely satisfied, but was not fixed. Later, things mounted, then we had the baby. W was under pressure to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Surrendering this battle to win the war. by Smothy @ 05/03/15 01:43 PM

I think for me is the NEED for acceptance too, combined with a fear of abandonment and rejection, control and anger was going to rear it's ugly head. And it did for years until my aha moment. My IC and I have spoken about our core beliefs we carry
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Surrendering this battle to win the war. by Smothy @ 05/03/15 01:41 PM

Pyrite, I have finally caught up with what you have written. Your analogy about the RC is true. I have a fear of both needing to jump, and clinging on in the hope of salvaging my M. I can see neither of these are healthy, but it doesn't stop the wi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: gan 6 - return to human be-ing by edz @ 05/03/15 01:38 PM

Now I need a lie down even thinking about a 25km hike!
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Reality is my middle name by mirage @ 05/03/15 01:37 PM

Gwen, Your moving forward. I know it seems frustratingly slow. From my perspective now looking back at BD 5 + years ago, I think our souls lead us through at the pace we need to go. I remember in my MLC talking to one of the people I was supposed t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So where to start in this sorry tale? by NDY @ 05/03/15 01:33 PM

So what do I do here. Trying to be detached. Going ok so far. Only responding to WW when she speaks to me. Keeping it short and to the point. Not cold but cordial. She's acting kinda normal. But to her the marriage is over and she's brazen about the
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Toot Toot - here I come! by edz @ 05/03/15 01:31 PM

Hi toots What they all said ^^^^^^ If you dont want to divorce then dont file. Yes our uk system is a little weird really, I drove myself nuts last year figuring out what w could file under. In fact in retrospect unreasonable behaviour probably cou
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: gan 6 - return to human be-ing by BW05 @ 05/03/15 01:27 PM

Gan, wow a 25k hike AND yoga is impressive. Sounds like a great GAL day!
For Newcomers
Gan: yes, I have really ramped up GAL and attractiveness for myself. I know that H has noticed. I am just not good with coming home really late and need to work on being more mysterious.will check out the book you mentioned.
For Newcomers
Cadet, I feel like I can't breathe. This lack of contact with her makes me very afraid and all I can think is the worst. I don't know how to get rid of that.
For Newcomers
Thanks for pep talk. Not giving up on DB. Two of my traits are stubbornnes and persistence, so those are coming in handy theses days. Just working through a billion emotions. H was super moody and agitated yesterday morning, so I just ignored it but
For Newcomers
Thanks TB, I'll look into that later today. Bob, appreciate the kind words,thanks. I'm hanging in there, you do the same. Well all have life and futures to look forward too, even if we don't know what/who they involve right now.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rd Moving on 6 by rppfl @ 05/03/15 01:10 PM

RD, thanks for being discreet about us. It would upset Pink and Toots. (Kidding, girls!). I like that you have taken action to cut down the contact with W, I think it will do you a world of good to not have to hear her misery. I know you'll always be
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rd Moving on 6 by rd500 @ 05/03/15 12:57 PM

Thanks Toots, please don't think you had anything bad to do with my thoughts. I have always admired how you handled BD and how you deal with everything. I am down but at the same time Im not the person who can deal with what's happened W was grea
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Zelda - hang me up to dry by Zelda09 @ 05/03/15 12:57 PM

I found a draft of written H a few weeks after he came back claiming to be all in. About my hopes and confidence in us. It was so sweet. I don't know why I didn't send it. One of his fears he kept repeating in last six months was that I cared more ab
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Part 19 - keeping on keeping on by edz @ 05/03/15 12:47 PM

Thanks guys. Yup interesting times. Picked s up and had a good natter and coffee with wow friend and her hubby he hasn't seen me for a while and was blown away by the physical changes, always good to hear. After that spoke to s about lunch and he me
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Escaping a Dr. Seuss Nightmare by job @ 05/03/15 12:07 PM

Mighty, Your thread is going to lock soon. Have you given any thought to what you will name your new thread?
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