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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: first post; my story by Kembo05 @ 05/21/15 01:49 PM

My W talked to me last night and she communicated some stuff about how she was upset and confused that I never recognized her feelings and I dismissed her feelings for so long. I just validated what she said and then she would say she did a really go
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In the UK -need help (pt3) by sandi2 @ 05/21/15 01:48 PM

Just to clarify, I didn't mean to sound like I was saying to take him to his doctor without her knowledge of it. Don't do it as if you are going behind her back or sneaking him out to see the doctor. I just meant to take charge of it, without imply
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So scared, but ready... by ralphy @ 05/21/15 01:39 PM

I'll make it clear tonight that I want to be back in the bed. I'm guessing the response will be "it's MY house". The difference here too is that she HAS been paying the mortgage while I paid down my debt. Her preference was I focus on th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: We are over, now what? by Pyrite @ 05/21/15 01:39 PM

Hey Tulo, gotcha KILL the FB. And the other shoe drops .... Surely sound s like an EA to me as Zeus said. i wouldn't be equating hoping for the R with being the best Tulo you can be. Zeus and I have had many manny discussions about this. My last
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Replay behaviors by Sis @ 05/21/15 01:36 PM

Yes! He said more than once "I don't know if this is the right or wrong thing to do, but I've got to do it" Just recently said " I don't know if it's the right or wrong thing to do but something has to change." I thought that was
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So many conflicting messages by DifRent @ 05/21/15 01:36 PM

Hi HeavyD... is your plan working to save your relationship, or is it more of a healing process for you as you move beyond the marriage? It sure is hard not to react to her... I've done a terrible job with this, even though I know better. It's very
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Touch and Go? by Sis @ 05/21/15 01:32 PM

Wonderful message to wake up to, thank you so much. 1. What happened in March of 2012 was an evaluation at work that was less than adequate. He had taken a leap of faith and took a job in Seattle away from family and friends ( he and I were commutin
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: We are over, now what? by Huddy @ 05/21/15 01:30 PM

Hi Tulo I don't think the text conversation was a bad idea as long as you didn't put kisses on or said you missed him etc. He made contact. That's good, but remember not to get excited or jump back in. You need more from him.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: where do I begin? by zew @ 05/21/15 01:29 PM

Quote:Lilly turns one in less than a month Seems like yesterday. Makes me realize how long we've been here. But certainly not for naught. We've watched you become a momma bear who is now very sure of what you need.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my Castle... by LoisB @ 05/21/15 01:28 PM

Hi Everyone, I need to check in. Last week, the company sent out a mass email. They let go of 5 employees because of financial difficulties. One of the employees is someone I consider a friend. She is a valuable employee and has been with the compa
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So many conflicting messages by DifRent @ 05/21/15 01:27 PM

Wonka, thank you. I will take that to heart, not speaking about the OW. Today is such a dark, rainy day here. I'm allowing myself to stay in bed and be depressed, because I just can't seem to find any motivation to do anything, and I don't want to go
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: We are over, now what? by Pyrite @ 05/21/15 01:24 PM

yeah but Wonka, they're grown up to now - they were all in 9th grade together
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Make Love in the Middle of a Warzone by Huddy @ 05/21/15 01:17 PM

Good for you Pyrite! Yeah, that first month is brutal. Don't let her ground you down.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dazed and Confused by Archer1 @ 05/21/15 01:16 PM

Originally Posted By: Cadet You dont want to be in a relationship with her while she is in a relationship with someone else. That is when saying the above might mean something. Should I say this to her? Should I tell her I don't want to be in a r
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Where I focus on Matt777 improvements (5) by Matt777 @ 05/21/15 01:06 PM

Need some advice from the group. The Retrouvaille weekend is approaching but I haven't asked. I was going to discuss it at MC today, but something came up and she's pretty busy all day. I want to ask when she will be receptive, but I don't want to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The new normal by Pyrite @ 05/21/15 01:04 PM

hey Z - just a quick note. I am feeling much better - no real reason. just am
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The Journey Continues: Wayward Wife & LRT (4) by Defacto @ 05/21/15 01:04 PM

Journaling: STBX called this morning, we said our hellos, and she began asking about last night. She was calm and asked about the missed FaceTime call with kids and all the calls she made. I told her that I had a discussion group and then went out wi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Make Love in the Middle of a Warzone by Pyrite @ 05/21/15 01:00 PM

thanks guys. this happened several weeks back now. I didn't even mention because I thought I was just being pathetic and then i just got used to it. my threshold went way up at BD The 2nd round of custody mediation, i mentioned there were a few tens
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dazed and Confused by Cadet @ 05/21/15 12:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Archer1I guess the whole thing right now is that she thinks she's getting away with it. That I still think it was some random guy in a NY bar and that it's over. A part of me just wants to say I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHO Y
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dazed and Confused by Archer1 @ 05/21/15 12:53 PM

I guess the whole thing right now is that she thinks she's getting away with it. That I still think it was some random guy in a NY bar and that it's over. A part of me just wants to say I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHO YOU'RE DOING IT WITH! YOU'RE N
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Two steps forward....three steps back by BEClem @ 05/21/15 12:39 PM

Good points Matt. I understand your advice. Keep the focus on my changes and just let her alone on any "us" talk. I'm getting better and better at it everyday.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Where I focus on Matt777 improvements (5) by Matt777 @ 05/21/15 12:38 PM

The life of an LBS - It's my birthday today, and I have to spend it waking up at a friend's house, going to an IC and calling a collaborative lawyer. At least I get the girls back and I get to sleep in my own bed tonight.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Two steps forward....three steps back by Matt777 @ 05/21/15 12:34 PM

Also, I wouldn't pay too much attention to whether she filed or not. I worry that by bringing it up over and over, it will come across as trying to control the situation and her. Even if she files, there's a long time to go until the actual divorce.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Two steps forward....three steps back by Matt777 @ 05/21/15 12:31 PM

I guess my point was that if you think you can forgive her in the future for a PA, then it doesn't really matter RIGHT NOW if she is actually having a PA or not. All you will do is drive yourself crazy looking for it and thinking about it, and there
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Two steps forward....three steps back by BEClem @ 05/21/15 12:29 PM

Another thing that has to be a point in a somewhat positive direction is that when she told me that she hasn't filed I did say that I assumed that meant she was still thinking about things. She said that she had told me she would think about it (giv
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