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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 5 by Train @ 09/16/14 11:35 AM

Danggggg, Tar. W's message just spiked my blood pressure a little. I will be looking forward to Starsky's advice on this. Meanwhile, I think Elsa has a great point about pulling MC off the table right now. I think it would be too reactive of you.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Any hope? by paul 47 @ 09/16/14 11:33 AM

Hi everyone:) about 4 months ago my common law wife of 11yrs gave me the I love you but not in love with you talk and said she wanted us to split up she said I never made her feel loved though I did love her but I admit I neglected the relationship a
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I would like to buy a v_w__l, please! #9 by Georgiabelle @ 09/16/14 11:30 AM

Shining, I totally get it. For me, I had LITERALLY never thought D was an option. I don't know if I saw just what I wanted although I thought I was Wonder Woman! I was trying to do everything, survive, keeping everything going all while building a m
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie Error- LRT too Soon- help! by zew @ 09/16/14 11:28 AM

Bart, Very good advice here from Starsky and theoden. Take a long, hard look at theoden's list. Truth in every single point. Point 7 is without a doubt the hardest one to come to terms with, but it is essential to putting a plan together for YOU,
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC-WAW- Long Road Ahead- Help! by CaliGuy @ 09/16/14 11:24 AM

Ok ... so I am still fighting whatever it is I have going on. W seems to be engaging more via text, asking how my day was, how I'm feeling. Telling me about her interview and the possible new job. Then asked to talk to S before her therapy appt ....
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Rough morning. Have to go to an appointment this afternoon for my Dad to discuss his mental state. We recently put him in a home because he is severely mentally and physically disabled due to Parkinon's disease and dementia. He is not doing well,
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie Error- LRT too Soon- help! by Starsky309 @ 09/16/14 11:19 AM

No. No grand pronouncements (especially legal ones -- never tip your hand legally). Whatever you decide you need to do, just DO. She's a big girl and will understand that it's a consequence of her continuing to violate your core boundary. Look, n
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW...Again, Part III by stumps @ 09/16/14 11:18 AM

Texted W while she was at her parents last night to let her know I was going out for a bit and probably wouldn't be home when she and the kids got back. When I did get home the kids were already in bed and W was on the couch surfing the web watching
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XII by Elsa @ 09/16/14 11:17 AM

Originally Posted By: MaybellI'm not capable of ignoring a direct question. As in, I don't feel like I have the right to. I realize how that ties into the issues we've already discussed, but it takes someone like you to point out that I don't necessa
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Post-Deployment Heartbreak by Arcola @ 09/16/14 11:15 AM

Rev, I know its difficult to do, but checking the phone logs will drive you crazy. When I don't check them I'm at least not angry. You can get to the point where you don't check them. Stay strong.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 5 by Drew @ 09/16/14 11:14 AM

"Yes, I'm still going to the wedding. Sorry you can't make it, it should be a blast!!"
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 5 by Elsa @ 09/16/14 11:10 AM

I will admit that I am crap at setting boundaries, but canceling MC due to her hesitation sounds an awful lot like a threat to me. I see her trying to work through conflicting emotions in her email. If you push, won't she feel justified in NOT givi
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I would like to buy a v_w__l, please! #9 by Shining @ 09/16/14 11:09 AM

For me, I saw what I wanted to see. I had a vision of my life, and whatever didn't fit that vision, was invisible. I forgot there are no guarantees, but I thought I had one. I loved being in love, and I put most of my personal value there. I th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife having emotional affair part 2 by 3kids @ 09/16/14 11:05 AM

I did have to go to the old house last night. Because of a showing of it and help her pick up the house. Neither if us thought we would have a showing two days after it went on the market. Trust me not a doormat at all. Just didn't finish what I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Here starts the journey…WAH oh WAH by Elsa @ 09/16/14 11:02 AM

G, I think your email was very detached -- which may have been why his response was so detached too. Like Lisa, I've found that my H tends to match my mood (although that is starting to change a little bit). It is scary to be the one to thaw the ice
For Newcomers
Cool, you wont need to worry so much on the carbs then. I have bad nerve damage in my leg from an incident in my teens so cant really do impact stuff, hence the swimming!
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: New here, my fairytale gone wrong by fthnluv @ 09/16/14 10:55 AM

Thanks everyone. Yes, the amount he is offering is generous based on what he would be forced to give me (us) but is still only barely enough to cover the bills we have (which are high by most standards, I admit, but also the life that HE chose much
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife Declares She is a Lesbian by essjay @ 09/16/14 10:55 AM

Hi Telk, Thanks for joining in and your comments, though of course I'm sorry you are here in the first place. There are good people here who give great advice and support. Thanks for your kind words, keep in contact. Jay
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife having emotional affair part 2 by 3kids @ 09/16/14 10:54 AM

PM, in the last couple of months I have heard all of the above. Time, space, divorce, and seperation. There is no specific thing that she is asking for. The one specific thing that I can honestly say that I might think she needs is time. She is t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Here starts the journey…WAH oh WAH by LisaB @ 09/16/14 10:53 AM

Oh ganb8te! "kind regards"????? ugh. I would want to punch him in the face! It's difficult at this point knowing how to be less business and more fun since things between you are so distant. The only thing I can think of is to reply and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Not much progress by bdub @ 09/16/14 10:53 AM

Go simple. Maybe a card or a little letter stating nothing sappy. Your wedding day did happen, and you ended up with some good memories from it. My BD was 6 days before our 15th anniversary. I bought a card and wrote in it " Happy 15th. Th
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I would like to buy a v_w__l, please! #9 by Georgiabelle @ 09/16/14 10:51 AM

Oh yes. I totally I relate. I got the " I love you" several times a day and the "I miss you and I'm ready for you to be home." You nailed it, Shining. I knew something was amiss, although I wonder why I didn't see more. I though
For Newcomers
I think I'm making it over the hump of this setback. I have typed out and deleted two texts and two e-mails spilling my guts about how I felt last night. Didn't send any of it. The last words I told her about that sitch were from last night: &quo
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie Error- LRT too Soon- help! by Bart42 @ 09/16/14 10:43 AM

All, really appreciate your willingness to help and your advices. I realize I need to man up- I see how W can have no respect for a man who tolerates this behavior. So how do I convey strength and start down the D path without speeding into a D I'd
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I would like to buy a v_w__l, please! #9 by Shining @ 09/16/14 10:40 AM

Ahh, I misread, my apologies. Yep. I think know what you mean now. I think it compares to us going to counseling under the ruse that we were working through problems, and he already had his escape route of ow in the wings. The part that keeps m
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