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"We have had our share of issues and have been seeing a marriage counselor up until last July when my wife asked for a separation." Why were you seeing the marriage counselor? Can you detail more about the conflicts in your marriage?
Thanks UB. I thought I would let her parents do the asking since they are offering to take the kids too for the weekend we would attend ..but I'm going to wait a few weeks and continue working on my GAL and 180 in hopes that W will warm a little to m
OneDay IMO, the reason that you are having such a hard time detaching is that you never really respected your W. Yes you loved her but did you respect her? Respect her as YOUR partner? Did you ever listen to her? Did you ever validate her? Did you
Here is what I have (name's changed as usual): Hi, thanks for giving me some time before I responded to your last email. Here is a schedule I will agree to regarding sharing time with our kids. It divides time between us equally which will still al
I just meant that it might not be best to ask if your W would likely run screaming from the room and feel too much pressure at the suggestion. . The Retrovaille program does have a Catholic component but it is not overly religious, IMO. It's actually
Drew, no I haven't heard from her since last week. My last email said that I would respond to her within 1 to 2 weeks. She then sent another email last week saying she wanted to deal with things right away.
TL, You have a better understanding why your mom did what she did? Care to share? Might help. Jfun - glad you're still posting. Glad you're angry too, although it's not a real fun place to hang out, yeah? Quote:I'm angry that nothing changes wi
WH. I know I had similar thoughts with my ex for a while. It was difficult to go to co-parent events with somebody who didn't want to co-parent both verbally and in action. You do still have some expectations, WH. You expect him to want to be mo
Update: W picked D 16 up.from.school due to illness. Said d was being dramaric and didn't need to come home. D16 said W vented and she didn't want to talk. Siad D16 was up to something. I told her I didn't think so. W alsonstayed she thought a
Thanks so much Unbidden for your feedback. My W and her folks are strict catholics. Our kids go to catholic school and we attend church regularly. My W and I went to see a marriage counselor together for a while and then a therapist/psychiatrist indi
Tbm, Learn to look at complaints as good things. It gives you a chance to validate and change. It's much worse when the complaints stop. I saw complaints as a sign that she still saw hope of change in me. When you've totally given up all hope, then
Eric, Lostforwords, thanks for answering my question about why some posters are still here after a few years. Your contribution on this board is invaluable. Thank you for being here. I do get a lot of wisdom and inspiration from the vet’s postings. I
Hi Panther, welcome to the board. So sorry you are going through this. You can get a lot of support here and great advice. Please continue to share and ask questions. I hear DB was a great read...I read DR and suggest it. As we all say, start wo
thank you so much bright for your response. I was thinking along those lines too - that he was definitely thinking on it. I also came to the same conclusion that it is super early in the sitch still and I have a long ways to go.years maybe. Yes I ha
It's all good. I have a habit of being long-winded myself. I don't tie money to my wife's feelings in my situation. My wife was fiercely independent before we got together and it caused our first break up prior to getting married. She hated having to
not arguing... stating that my actions in the past were to "steer & manipulate"... that particular convo was just my reaction, not with intention (like I have done in the past). Just off the phone with h. He is interested in counselli
You are very new on this journey so don't be too hard on yourself. DB is not a perfect science there are some dos and don'ts. But those can be tweaked at times to meet your needs. You try something and if it backfires you stop. You need to not put an
I went to Retrovaille with my H. It was a wonderful program. I don't know enough about your sitch to say if you two are ready for it, but I would definitely consider asking your W to go. I think that, with respect to Sandi's rules, when it says not t
Ruby, this is wonderful! You’ve done a lot of work. You have been always my inspiration. I learnt a lot from you. I’m also approaching 2 years from BD, and I’m grateful for this board. Keep busting, girl. I have so much hope for you and your H.