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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Flying Blind by doodler @ 03/21/17 07:04 AM

Originally Posted By: Jeep74...I've heard nothing of if the mom was or not. Jeep, I understand. It's often difficult to know what really happened because memories are repressed and confused, and sometimes, purposely misrepresented (a euphemism).
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It takes two to make it work (pt. 6) by SBJ @ 03/21/17 07:00 AM

Thanks skm...the 3 F's...faith, family & friends...they are what has helped my PMA. Oh, and whiskey...I forgot to add that. My faith tells me that thru prayer and petition my needs will be met. My family tells me that even though I feel abandoned
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: cadenceSo I'm thinking either I get him a non-romantic card or do nothing. Whatever you decide to do is not going to make a difference in whether you save your relationship or not, is really my point. So best to do what YOU wa
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: CadetOriginally Posted By: cadence What do I do? Nothing? What do you want to do and why? I don't know. I have no opinion. I'm normally a very giving person and would have gone all out for him. The part of me that loves
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW with affair moved out 4+ weeks ago by 15Stang @ 03/21/17 06:43 AM

Thanks Sal27. I agree.... She is not the woman I married. That is a tough reality to accept. But I choose to do so. I have to otherwise I will stay stuck. I know she can change and become that woman again or even better but all of that is a drea
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC? Maybe you can tell me... by SBJ @ 03/21/17 06:41 AM

Bird, thought about you on my way into work this morning. The song "Still" by Hillary Scott came on and I think it is fitting with the struggles of faith you had mentioned. Listen to it and know that he is working even if you cannot see it
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: cadence What do I do? Nothing? What do you want to do and why?
For Newcomers
Also, question for folks: His milestone birthday is rapidly approaching. It looks like I'll most likely still be living there on his birthday. What do I do? Nothing?
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Flying Blind by Jeep74 @ 03/21/17 06:30 AM

Originally Posted By: doodlerOriginally Posted By: Jeep74Their family is f***ing crazy. Period. Jeep, It sounds like they're bonkers. I'm sorry you have to put up with that stuff. I assume there was lots of abuse within the family? There was
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: When Do MLC-LBS Officially Give Up? by ciluzen @ 03/21/17 06:29 AM

That was a great answer, Roist. As has been said before, its over when you say it is (or something like that). Most of us are at verious levels of trying to "detach", with our own versions of what that means. Some have young kids, teens o
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts The Mother of All Midlife Crises!!! by LALost @ 03/21/17 06:19 AM

Hi Everyone, How about this one for an exciting MLC? 6 kids...14 years of marriage...been through three marital therapists (2 in the last year alone)... I've been on the roller coaster of my life since Jan 2016...and it never seems to end...just w
For Newcomers
Thanks all. I read the pursuer and distancer thread. He's definitely a distancer, and I'm a mild pursuer. I regret trying to talk to him in the month of his fugue state, but at least I stopped. He asked if we could talk about finances tonight. I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Cheated and need advice by pitiful @ 03/21/17 06:18 AM

Just wanted to give ya'll an update since its been a while and so many of you were so kind and helpful. I didn't want you to think that I was ungrateful and all. The past couple of months have been progressively better in most ways. Things are alm
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Flying Blind by doodler @ 03/21/17 06:18 AM

Originally Posted By: Jeep74Their family is f***ing crazy. Period. Jeep, It sounds like they're bonkers. I'm sorry you have to put up with that stuff. I assume there was lots of abuse within the family?
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: brizzI've done very well with detaching and not pursuing. Please be careful as these are two VERY different things. And they are both very important!
For Newcomers
I've done very well with detaching and not pursuing. Not texting her, not responding to any texts from her if I don't have to, being short and ambivalent when I do respond, not taking any bait by her to get me to pursue. I've done OK with being indi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Slowly losing my wife (3) by Lex23 @ 03/21/17 05:47 AM

Originally Posted By: KaizenOriginally Posted By: Lex23I'm going to tell my wife that I accept everything that she is doing but that I can no longer be her husband. What exactly doe this mean to you? Are you going to file? If not, what does &quo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Slowly losing my wife (3) by Lex23 @ 03/21/17 05:45 AM

Originally Posted By: KaizenOriginally Posted By: Lex23I'm going to tell my wife that I accept everything that she is doing but that I can no longer be her husband. What exactly doe this mean to you? Are you going to file? If not, what does &quo
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC? Maybe you can tell me... by Bird @ 03/21/17 05:38 AM

Re: the email. I think so. I didn't want to leave her hanging and assuming that I was cutting her out of my life without a word, but I also wanted it to be clear that this currently a conflict of interest and emotions for me so the distance is nece
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: One step forwards, quite a few steps back. by Jeep74 @ 03/21/17 05:21 AM

Quote:Maybe the important thing is to carry on doing things for yourself when you feel like this? Even if it's really small things. So the momentum is always forwards. Small things might be very, very small things indeed Small things clear the way f
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Slowly losing my wife (3) by Jeep74 @ 03/21/17 05:19 AM

If you tell her this, then be prepared to back it up because she will call your bluff. It looks like your ideas and all are on the right track. Honestly, its going to get harder before it gets easier.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Slowly losing my wife (3) by Kaizen @ 03/21/17 05:14 AM

Originally Posted By: Lex23I'm going to tell my wife that I accept everything that she is doing but that I can no longer be her husband. What exactly doe this mean to you? Are you going to file? If not, what does "no longer being her husban
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: One step forwards, quite a few steps back. by focus22 @ 03/21/17 05:10 AM

Another update from me, something I've realised only relatively recently. I'm sleeping a lot, lot better now. I usually wake up after the five hours.Before it would have been four hours, and then I wouldn't have been able to fall back asleep again.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Slowly losing my wife (3) by Lex23 @ 03/21/17 05:10 AM

I am planning on moving my W things to the spare bedroom this week. She hasn't been to the master bedroom in almost a month anyhow. I've been doing very well with GAL and my kids but I am going to go 100% on this. I'm going to tell my wife that I
For Newcomers
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with. Originally Posted By: WonkaGet DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shar
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