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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by raliced @ 03/25/15 03:17 AM

Then don't move out of the bedroom. Look - you're in a pinch because you're already going through mediation and dissolution. You can and should say you won't live in an open marriage - but I'm guessing your wife already considers herself to not be ma
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC W, Part 8 by kat727 @ 03/25/15 03:11 AM

Don't you remember people giving advice and just not being ready to hear it? There were even books recommended to me that I was just no where near ready enough to tackle. I suppose I am trying to help people find a pain shortcut. I already new I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: It's over. by djhartm @ 03/25/15 03:06 AM

Well, I heard from my STBX on my birthday last month. She emailed me to wish me a happy birthday. Over the next few days, there was almost a frantic flurry of emails from her asking when I was going to transfer the distribution settlement to her ban
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by RAI @ 03/25/15 03:02 AM

I would really like to avoid moving out of the BR. I did nothing to deserve leaving my BR. RAI
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXXIII: Towanda!!!! by raliced @ 03/25/15 03:01 AM

Maybell - I feel for you - we had an lice infestation a couple of years ago that did not become apparent until pretty late in the game. Both girls and I had it and I didn't completely eradicate it from D7 for four months. Still have a drawer full of
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXXIII: Towanda!!!! by lost18 @ 03/25/15 03:01 AM

Ughhh....sorry about the lice! My girls have soooo much hair, it took me over 6 months to finally get rid of it when they had it. Just when I thought it was done...boom more bugs. It was horrible, I was washing sheets every other day at least fo
For Newcomers
Oops, I think I meant Wonka. Nevertheless, you valued input would be appreciated. RAI
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by lost18 @ 03/25/15 02:55 AM

Good advice by raliced. When my H came home I thought I set a boundary, "no communication with OP while me or the girls are home" but I have no way to enforce that. So while I made it clear that I did not want that to happen as it was dis
For Newcomers
Hi Mozza, Since you are the boundary guru, can I bother you to check out my thread really quickly for some advice on setting my first boundary with my WW? RAI P.S. Sorry for the oh-so-brief Hijacking. I don't know how to address specific members.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by RAI @ 03/25/15 02:48 AM

Hah! I just cross posted with you in the 5k training thread. I am most worried about enforcing the boundary. I skimmed the cheat sheets (there are 2), but I still feel like I am lacking. HELP! I need some sort of way to enforce the boundary. RAI
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by raliced @ 03/25/15 02:47 AM

RAI- There are quite a few veteran posters around here who give great advice about what to do with a wayward wife who is still in the marital home. Hopefully one of them will drop by your thread shortly. I will just make one comment - it seems like
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC Divorce and Cancer by BklynMom @ 03/25/15 02:47 AM

You are a priceless treasure! Keep up the good fight. We can do this together
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 5k training by lost18 @ 03/25/15 02:46 AM

Yes, I probably will do some smaller races first. Also, I've already committed to the Ragnar Relay for 2016!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 5k training by RAI @ 03/25/15 02:45 AM

Card29, Sorry about the injury. Have a speedy recovery. lost18, keep it up. I pushed myself today a bit too. Don't worry about your pace for now, concentrate on distance. as you go more distance, your pace in the first few miles will improve. Rememb
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by lost18 @ 03/25/15 02:45 AM

Ok, no expert but have recently come across some information about boundaries. Let's see if I can remember it or at least the important stuff. I think one of the important things is to remember that a boundary is not telling them they can or can no
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXXIII: Towanda!!!! by Maybell @ 03/25/15 02:45 AM

Thanks! LICE. The amount of work is endless. Three little heads and three little beds (plus mine) and vacuuming, etc. Two upsides. One you'll scold me for. S9 most likely got infested on Thursday/Friday. Spent the weekend with his dad. Slept, in
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by RAI @ 03/25/15 02:40 AM

Wow HeavyD, that was quick and is much appreciated. Did you do this with your W? I am trying to minimize awkwardness in the house and to move all her stuff will definitely make the act more defiant and more noticeable than it needs to be. I don't h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by HeavyD @ 03/25/15 02:32 AM

I agree with Sandi's post - wow - reminded me a lot of my situation too. My suggestions for the underwear are: 1. Pack up her belonging including the underwear and place them in another bedroom or bedroom. When she asks why is her stuff moved o
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 5k training by lost18 @ 03/25/15 02:25 AM

Injuries stink but better to not do the 10k then put yourself out for longer. Ran today (very slowly!) Still kills me how hard I have to push myself for the short distance that I am running....BUT, I am running, improving and pushing myself! Just l
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I by RAI @ 03/25/15 02:19 AM

Alright fellow DBers. I know this is last minute, but I need some collective wisdom and fast. Yesterday, I had a brief exchange with Sandi regarding the total lack of boundaries currently in my household. My WW is still carrying on with OM and has ex
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Highway 20 Ride by uRworthy @ 03/25/15 02:18 AM

Hey Luke. Couple of things. So, the spew...part of the push/pull stuff. She got closer so she had to pull back some. She said that about your son because they reconnect last to the spouse. This is a long, tough road, sweetie. I caution you again
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Working the Plan by Eirinn @ 03/25/15 02:11 AM

HeavyD I so know where you are. I too struggle with anger and faulting myself. While I am to blame for parts of my marriage problems, I am not at fault for how my H is handling it. He could choose to work with me to solve issues, but is too screwe
For Newcomers
So, looking at the success stories above... IMPORTANT PSA FOR NEWCOMERS Have a look at AliSuddenly's story. Her H left her almost overnight, he moved out, had an OW and a year later, they were still apart and AliSuddenly wanted closure. Yet, four mo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Mozza (11) + Links to success stories and more by Mozza @ 03/25/15 02:03 AM

Oct 14-28, 2014 | W cheating and near-separation in 2009, search for explanations for BD 2014 Oct 28-Nov 4 | OM confirmed through kids on Halloween, refocus on me rather than blaming W Nov 4-10 | OM confirmed by W in email, strollergate, W has prob
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Enjoying the ride by Zues126 @ 03/25/15 02:02 AM

And then as I tuck the kids in I realize that I did 3, 4, 5 different things that my STBX would've been angry about. The loving evenings I was talking about were mostly imaginary. She carried oceans of resentment towards me, and I walled myself off
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