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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC step by step...what's next? by gunny @ 05/16/13 01:28 PM

Hi Lilith, You might want to find out if there is a divorce support group in your area, dont get thrown by the word divorce, I met a number of people who were not yet divorced, it was a great way for me to find friends who were going through some of
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A new beginning for Suckerpunch by jp787 @ 05/16/13 01:27 PM

SP. Good to see. Maybe, just a though, but maybe with your new thread and wanting to tune yourself around you could start over. Get the DB/DR book out, read it and start over with a fresh perspective. Putting all of your energy into SP and what wi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A new beginning for Suckerpunch by suckerpunch @ 05/16/13 01:09 PM

I also want to take a moment and express how much I would like to be posting on other members threads, in hopes of helping them with their own marital situations. I haven't shared a thing, for some time now. Unfortunately, I am just at a point where
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My journey here... by Spartan @ 05/16/13 01:07 PM

C - I just wanted to say as hard as this stuff is to process and think about just stay with it. Take your time and really think about the questions being asked. These guys will take you on an amazing journey digging into yourself. I also wanted
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New here, and need some advice by Papa4Life @ 05/16/13 01:06 PM

Originally Posted By: completelylostHas anyone else ever experienced this? So one day we are fine not in regards to relationship, just cordial laughing talking normal stuff. Then the next day its like she's upset we had a good day the day before and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Plan B by Breakdown @ 05/16/13 12:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Kaffe DiemOriginally Posted By: Breakdown- take following 3 weeks off all R work and "just be" How's this ^^^^^ working for you, so far? It's about how I expected honestly. We're not actively discussing our relati
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Suckerpunch down to the wire by suckerpunch @ 05/16/13 12:57 PM

I thought it might be time to start a new thread. Please follow me here..... A new beginning
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts A new beginning for Suckerpunch by suckerpunch @ 05/16/13 12:56 PM

Here is where I left off with my old thread..... Previous thread I wish to thank everyone for their knowledge and insight. This is a really tough battle we are all going through, and it makes it so much easier with the amazing support from all of
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Becoming Patient Man by PatientMan @ 05/16/13 12:56 PM

Originally Posted By: Tryin2figuritoutAdivna - Very good points I need to keep in mind during my path forward too. PM - So hard to wade through all this stuff. My Mrs. has apologized so many times for not speaking up sooner it's making me want to v
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Behind Blue Eyes... by Papa4Life @ 05/16/13 12:56 PM

Hi Wishing. Saw the last few posts and thought I'd chime in. Are you in IC right now? If not I would encourage you to start with that. A good therapist will be able to help you address a lot of these issues and give you the ools you need to deal wit
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hit hard still taking another step forward. by lovethehub @ 05/16/13 12:54 PM

T, Just catching up on your last few pages...why didn't you try to take the time off before responding to her that you couldn't? It is clear that it is due to your insecurity about her going away, not about how you felt in April because you aren't
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Becoming Patient Man by PatientMan @ 05/16/13 12:51 PM

Things popping back into my head: -I told her that I did care about her (still didn't tell her I love her) and that I do want her to have happiness. I want her to have peace. I'm NOT going to get in the way of that. I hope she finds those things,
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by CharlieBrown @ 05/16/13 12:44 PM

Strategy for today's MC session: Appreciate the positives I have seen, W is saying ILY more without responding to me, thanked me for great Mother's Day, texted me yesterday after our disagreement about this weekend, and is continuing to go to MC tog
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Behind Blue Eyes... by wishing, hoping @ 05/16/13 12:39 PM

No, you are right. Gee, you're good at this. Are you a counselor or do you just play one on the forum (joke). : ) Yes, I guess there is some fear there. Although it isn't like I normally would think of fear. I am a control freak and it does anger me
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Behind Blue Eyes... by Kaffe Diem @ 05/16/13 12:28 PM

Lets take a look at a few things from your post: + feeling like a failure is different than failing to achieve something specific. It's a bit of mincing words as you DO indicate some specific things you believe you failed at. + you feel life is un
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Becoming Patient Man by Tryin2figuritout @ 05/16/13 12:25 PM

Adivna - Very good points I need to keep in mind during my path forward too. PM - So hard to wade through all this stuff. My Mrs. has apologized so many times for not speaking up sooner it's making me want to vomit because I'm like if you're sorry
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My journey here... by MrCAS @ 05/16/13 12:20 PM

I think I can trace my selfishness to several different areas of my life. When I was younger I always had to share a room with my twin brother. When moving into a new house my brother and I always got the smallest of the three bedrooms. It never r
For Newcomers
You asked on another thread what W said to justify her affair, would that still be helpful or have you moved beyond it? I really don't think it matters what they say because no explanation is going to make it okay right?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Starting Over with DB by Kaffe Diem @ 05/16/13 12:11 PM

There is a lot of dynamic that is going on in your sitch. Journalling can be very therapeutic. I do see you constantly analyzing things and trying to adjust (which appears to be reactive) fairly often. I think it's part of the context of your &quo
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Behind Blue Eyes... by wishing, hoping @ 05/16/13 12:07 PM

Originally Posted By: Kaffe DiemYes, you hurt and you want your H to hurt, as well. You want your H to show remorse. You want closure or you want progress towards working on the M. Have you determined what your fear is? Is it possibly having to r
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC step by step...what's next? by Lilith @ 05/16/13 12:04 PM

Thanks Snodderly for dropping by! I appreciate it! Yes I've been doing things to keep myself busy; I enrolled Salsa dance lesson, do photography (was my hobby), go to movies, dine with girlfriends, run regularly with S21 Twice or thrice a week... A
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My journey here... by MrCAS @ 05/16/13 12:01 PM

Originally Posted By: cat04 Did you mean psyiological portions or psychological postions? I like both the physical (bondage) and the psychological (mental) aspects of D/s. There is a certain high that comes from both. Each one is separate aspects.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: DBing, GALing and living oh my! by cbtdad @ 05/16/13 12:00 PM

I really need to remember the following quote: "You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce"
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie needing Advice by Kaffe Diem @ 05/16/13 11:56 AM

Well, have a better day today, then! OK, I'm going to harp on your LRT efforts... Generally speaking, LRT is when "ALL ELSE HAS FAILED". Not the only reason, just usually the last technique to use unless there is abuse or other, seve
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Just filed... by Dubious Hills @ 05/16/13 11:54 AM

And you are absolutely right that when we don't talk I'm better -- more stable, less sad, etc. Yesterday, that two minute convo "cost" me a few hours of speculation and grief, which I only stopped because I had promised myself a run.
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