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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Turning 50 this summer and.... by SBJ @ 04/24/17 02:55 PM

I can honestly say, that there are many people on these boards that wish their W's wanted to heal and rebuild their R, but as many have said on here..."you" will have to decide what you want when and if they come out of the fog. You have ma
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hopeful newbie by 70Cuda @ 04/24/17 02:55 PM

That's kinda my thought on it. She seems upset again tonight. I am not going to push anything with her at all. let her take her time
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by Cristy @ 04/24/17 02:34 PM

Originally Posted By: resolut My final thoughts are with my children. I'm willing to put up with this pain right now because I know the fallout of a divorce is going to be so destructive on their lives for reasons I won't go into. I'm holding on for
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hopeful newbie by Tryin2figuritout @ 04/24/17 02:33 PM

70Cuda, Messing up is totally normal in all this. Learning from how you have messed up and correcting that behavior is most important. If you have opportunities, you should take them. It gives you more opportunities to do good or to mess up. You
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newby here . . . (Thread 7) by Woke_Up @ 04/24/17 02:32 PM

Originally Posted By: doodlerOriginally Posted By: JRussI really feel for you guys and for all of the LBS here who've had to deal with infidelity. The OM stuff isn't so bad; it's just the particular OM my wife chose. The guy has man-b00bs so big t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by resolut @ 04/24/17 02:18 PM

Quote: Did you avoid conflicts in the past, or would it be totally new behavior? Yes, it is walking on eggshells. How do you see it as being within the scope of the 37 rules? I would say that I didn't go out of my way to avoid conflicts in the past
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by resolut @ 04/24/17 02:10 PM

Originally Posted By: TxHubbyJust because she refuses to separate doesn't mean you don't separate. You get a say in this too. In fact, you get all the say. You just need to realize that. I do and it may come to that. I'm not the one leaving the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by sandi2 @ 04/24/17 02:06 PM

Quote:By taking things slow I mean I'm avoiding conflicts. There are plenty of things I could call her out on but I've just avoiding. I guess this is walking on eggshells but still seems to be within the scope of the 37 rules. Did you avoid conflict
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by Kaizen @ 04/24/17 01:40 PM

Originally Posted By: sellout1) I want to spend time with my son. I used to spend every single day with him and now I'm lucky if i spend 2 days a week with him. As LH said, I think this is an issue for your lawyer. What is the long term plan in the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by TxHubby @ 04/24/17 01:34 PM

Just because she refuses to separate doesn't mean you don't separate. You get a say in this too. In fact, you get all the say. You just need to realize that.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Turning 50 this summer and.... by TxHubby @ 04/24/17 01:33 PM

Originally Posted By: BluWaveWhat is her position right now? What is she asking for? More time. More IC/MC. Convinced we're still soul mates. The fact she still uses that term makes me question if she's learned anything from all this. I know I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by LH19 @ 04/24/17 01:23 PM

Again, if you want to spend more time with your son contact your lawyer about a 50/50 arrangement. Ok. What do you mean when you say "I plan to 180?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by sellout @ 04/24/17 01:19 PM

Two reasons: 1) I want to spend time with my son. I used to spend every single day with him and now I'm lucky if i spend 2 days a week with him. 2) Had I not agreed, she would have just used her Mother to watch him anyways. Why not be agreeable, nice
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW won't separate by resolut @ 04/24/17 01:15 PM

Quote:I'm not sure what you mean by taking things slow. Can you explain? By taking things slow I mean I'm avoiding conflicts. There are plenty of things I could call her out on but I've just avoiding. I guess this is walking on eggshells but still s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by Kaizen @ 04/24/17 01:12 PM

Originally Posted By: selloutYes, obviously she is taking advantage of me as the on-call babysitter and that's even more proof she isn't thinking right. So why did you agree to it?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by LH19 @ 04/24/17 01:06 PM

What do you mean by you plan to 180 and go dark?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by sellout @ 04/24/17 01:02 PM

LH19 - While in theory I agree with you 100%, you have to understand though there was rage, anger, etc.. by me that I couldn't trust myself to stay there. I felt at anytime I could snap and do something I would regret. Plus, the yelling and screaming
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Thread #3 - Mediation by Kaizen @ 04/24/17 01:02 PM

Originally Posted By: KevinInnow i'm in a different place that isn't nearly as positive about my future relationship with my wife (married or otherwise). Im not sure what that has to do with DBing or your comments below. Originally Posted By: Kaiz
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hopeful newbie by 70Cuda @ 04/24/17 01:00 PM

so question on this, is it a good idea that every time I am offered to go to dinner or "hang out" I do? It will definitely be hard not to. And as long as when we do she opens up a bit I don't see any harm because real communication happens
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Running Out of Time by WshIKnw @ 04/24/17 12:50 PM

Originally Posted By: LH19Tryin, I keep moving forward knowing someday one way or another I will be happy again. I feel guilty at times for the kids. Although it is my wife's decision to divorce, I feel like if I would have been a better husband in
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Long time reader but first time poster by PEW1974 @ 04/24/17 12:35 PM

So I have pulled back today and haven't texted my W and she has called me 3 times about nothing really. I was short with my answers and told her I was busy at work. It is very unusual for her.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by LH19 @ 04/24/17 12:28 PM

Sellout, This is why we advised you not to move out of the house. She lives in the martial home has your son 75% of the time and has the weekends to herself.She is the one having the affair. If you are going to spend as much time with your son as p
Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again
Jump to new posts Re: The Adventures of GH31, Wife and Baby by GH31 @ 04/24/17 12:25 PM

A bit of an update to my situation. Beautiful baby boy born last week Mrs GH31 is extremely brave to put herself through that a third time. He's absolutely adorable - absolutely loved to bits by his mother, father, older sister and older brother.
For Newcomers
Hi Sandi. Thanks for the input. The whole truth is that I had told my mother about our situation in confidence a few months ago and we've had many candid discussions about it. She knows what's going on (who did what, who wants what, etc.) and I kept
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 3.5 Months of Pain - Fork in the Road by sellout @ 04/24/17 12:12 PM

Normal arrangement is that she typically has him during the week so he can maintain his consistent school routine and then he will stay with me Friday and Saturday nights. Yes, I am going to spend as much time with my son and that is NEVER going to c
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