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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Leap of faith by Rouky @ 02/13/17 04:31 PM

Wow tomorrow Valentines Day is the day 2 years ago I found out about my ex's affair. How time flies! How I feel about it? Well a tiny punch in the heart but not really hurting. I have grown so much and learnt so much about relationship that I'm def
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #8] by lt0402 @ 02/13/17 04:28 PM

Agree with JR here. I don't think you can manage her finances for her. I'd do it more in an advisory capacity where you are willing to help but not do it for her. i.e. You're there if she has a question but that's it. Hang in there brother.
For Newcomers
Sorry, that should have read another package ot text to your D, not your W. Definitely not to your W....bleh On a side note, how's the running coming along? I've been running a lot since the start of this thing but have trouble getting past abou
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: cheesyt-Really enjoying / loving my life! Cheesyt, this is awesome! You have so many people around you who love you that this should absolutely be where you are. You're an amazing person and this loving life is what you deser
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Needing some Guidance by KCRoo @ 02/13/17 04:09 PM

Well I am trying to look for some positives, without getting my hopes up. She is going to met her female friend (mentioned in post above, the one getting divorced) out to talk. The two semi positive things that I see is they are going to meet at th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #8] by JRuss @ 02/13/17 03:48 PM

It's in your children's best interest that their mother not wreck her credit by missing bills, getting the lights or water turned off, etc., so I don't think that's being too "fix it". Coming every Saturday to mow the lawn? Too much.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Figuring it out - WAW with Affair by SAL27 @ 02/13/17 03:09 PM

Sorry to hear and there will be many setbacks. Don't loose your focus and continue just working on yourself. Try not to worry about her reactions towards you because you will never be able to control them. If there are no expectations then you will n
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A WW? (7) by mvgfwd2 @ 02/13/17 03:07 PM

still haven't solved the lack of respect issue. You have way more patients for that than I do.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted by WshIKnw @ 02/13/17 03:07 PM

Originally Posted By: Jeep74The thing is, you can't do things in hopes that she will wonder or make her way back to your road. She is on her own road that only has room for her. What you can do, is work on yourself and be the best Wsh you can be. For
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: mlc stagers by job @ 02/13/17 03:05 PM

We all deal w/the quarter life crisis, i.e., 20,30, etc. If we don't navigate those quarter life ones, we eventually will have the one called MLC. Each quarter life crisis helps us grow and learn, as well as mature. People who don't navigate them
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A WW? (7) by Gordie @ 02/13/17 03:04 PM

lt0402, I have some of the same communication problems that you have. I am a newbie, but here are some of the improvements that I have made for myself which have helped my R with my W: 1. Stop text messaging unless it is purely about logistics or
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: mlc stagers by maly @ 02/13/17 02:57 PM

Originally Posted By: CadetOriginally Posted By: malyHi everyone,I'm wondering,my w seems to have gone thru the first 3 stagers,but no sign of the others,she is still in replay with om ,but It seems to be taking a long time for the other stagers to k
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: The excitement of what if by JujuB @ 02/13/17 02:54 PM

Non worries whatsis.
For Newcomers
It just dawned on me that I have not seen my wife since Nov 12… Crazy. it’s been 3 months yesterday. We haven’t had a solid conversation other than “business” and her telling me I cannot see my D. I haven’t seen my D since Nov 05 at her soccer game.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A WW? (7) by Zues126 @ 02/13/17 02:34 PM

Just to clarify: a) really listening to your W; YES. Validation is critical. b) try not to fix a single thing, don't be a fixer; Hmm...I don't think you should fix anything with WAS. Trying to change her is controlling and remaining attached to h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A WW? (7) by lt0402 @ 02/13/17 02:29 PM

FG, I'm unsure my W will agree to go get professional help. She seems to have alot pent up inside her (anger, resentment, contempt) and on the surface it seems like it'd do alot of good to see an IC. I've suggested once before, after we did that on
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: The Clouds are Parting by Jeep74 @ 02/13/17 01:53 PM

Note to self: Do not open old emails when looking for a bit of information.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: WAS or what 9 by roist @ 02/13/17 01:42 PM

I am not sure I would say W is happy with status quo but she does appear less unhappy with it. I have no plans for Valentine's day. We never made a big deal of it. We have our own dates. What I am doing is too long to reply now. I may come back t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted by Jeep74 @ 02/13/17 01:25 PM

Quote:Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Just standing back, holding my hand open, waiting for the butterfly to land. I will not try to grasp at it or trap it. I may even at times lower my hand, in hopes that she will worry whether it will extend ou
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: mlc stagers by maly @ 02/13/17 01:14 PM

Originally Posted By: CaliGuyOriginally Posted By: malyHi everyone,I'm wondering,my w seems to have gone thru the first 3 stagers,but no sign of the others,she is still in replay with om ,but It seems to be taking a long time for the other stagers to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted by WshIKnw @ 02/13/17 01:12 PM

Thanks for the responses, guys (I think you are both guys?). Originally Posted By: Jeep74There is only one person who has that answer, and she is on her road. Just make sure you keep your hand open and don't squeeze the butterfly. Yeah, that's what
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: mlc stagers by maly @ 02/13/17 01:04 PM

Originally Posted By: jobI began posting here in Jaunaury of 2000. At the time, I thought my xh's replay began in 1999...not so, I sat down a few years ago and charted his behavior out and his MLC behavior actually began in late 1997/early 1998 and
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: 3 Years post BD ... I did'nt die. :D by CaliGuy @ 02/13/17 12:49 PM

Originally Posted By: Gordie Re needing D in their journey? Has your MLC told you that? My W has. Well ... like all things yes and no. The monster who needs D, along with the spew that no longer has a place for me to listen to. During the touch an
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Gordie: trying to focus on me by CaliGuy @ 02/13/17 12:43 PM

Originally Posted By: Gordie And in my current situation? I still love my W...she too is hurting badly and dealing (or not dealing) with her unresolved issues...in the process, she's hurting me (and the kids)...she has no idea how badly...I hide my
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: 3 Years post BD ... I did'nt die. :D by Gordie @ 02/13/17 12:37 PM

Thanks for the update. It sounds like you are in a good place no mater what happens re D. Best wishes for whatever happens this week. Re needing D in their journey? Has your MLC told you that? My W has.
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