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Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by CharlieBrown @ 05/17/13 12:44 PM

T, I think there is minimal chance that he dumps his pregnant wife for my W. I think there is a high chance that my W continues to obsess and it keeps her from really moving forward with us. I also think it plants a fertile field for the next tat-b

For Newcomers

Re: W continues to live with OM - what to do? by longrun @ 05/17/13 12:40 PM

Hi Kaffe Diem, thanks for your comment. Originally Posted By: Kaffe DiemI personally find it interesting that a 50 yr old woman would like to (and could) have a child with a OM. She says she's in menopause now so it will likely remain a wish. Origi

Midlife Crisis

Re: Slowing to a Crawl by Portia @ 05/17/13 12:39 PM

Hi Linda, Nice to "meet" you! You read all my thread? Goodness! I sure had my days, didn't I? I have read through your thread as well. The funny thing about moderation is that you pop up in weird places. Isn't it a stange relationshi

Midlife Crisis

Re: (NA) MLC by MIL death/daughter car accident/new job by MrBond @ 05/17/13 12:39 PM

Don't think about the future right now. Just think about the now and taking care of you. DO NOT correspond with him at all.

For Newcomers

Re: Separated by MrBond @ 05/17/13 12:37 PM

Then we can't help you with your individual sitch. This is a safe place and you wouldn't believe the type of things we've heard. We need your background in order to get you on the right track. "I know she is hurt and scared. It isn't that she

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by TSquared2 @ 05/17/13 12:37 PM

CB, In a "normal" martial issue sitch, that would be fine...but we are dealing with MLC/WAS...she ain't going to hear all that most likely... Even see the Gary Larson cartoon where the dog owner is scolding the dog, and the dog only hears

For Newcomers

Re: DBing, GALing and living oh my! by jp787 @ 05/17/13 12:36 PM

Originally Posted By: cbtdad So the only way I know how to stop is to stop communication I feel like I don't have the right to talk after my rant, but... I face this too. I do well until I talk to W and then emotions always come up. As only tal

Midlife Crisis

Re: we own a business - pt 9 ... its about me! by MrBond @ 05/17/13 12:34 PM

Yes, what did happen in the conversation?

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by PatientMan @ 05/17/13 12:33 PM

Originally Posted By: jp787Self fulfilling prophecy. How did you get out of that pattern For us it's been going on so long that it's a habit. Like breaking any other habit, you have to consciously choose - in each moment - not to live your life

For Newcomers

Re: Check out time. by MrBond @ 05/17/13 12:33 PM

"The way I look at it is to give up hope." You don't need to give up hope. You just need to give up EXPECTATIONS. "Live my life, accept my faults in the M continue to work on them for my next R whether it be someone else or my W. It'

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by CharlieBrown @ 05/17/13 12:31 PM

What I almost said last night was: I love you more than anything as you know. Part of what we have learned is that we need to be fully open and honest with each other and I don't think we are being that yet. I want you to know that you can tell me

For Newcomers

Re: DBing European Style, part 2 by Papa4Life @ 05/17/13 12:31 PM

So, we just got finished telling the kids about the D. I actually could see the exact moment when my kids' hearts broke in half. My S asked my W if we would still be best friends and broke down. I had to leave the room for a minute. My D9 ran upsta

For Newcomers

Re: DBing, GALing and living oh my! by cbtdad @ 05/17/13 12:30 PM

Mach, As usual you are right on. I feel like I've come a long way in reacting on things she does or says. But inside emotionally it still drives me crazy. I have to get detached for my well being. The only way I know to do that is to cut all communic

For Newcomers

Re: DM45 LBS 4 by MrBond @ 05/17/13 12:29 PM

"I phrased it as a ? To avoid being accused of pressure or bullying. When I ask ?s though, then I am accused of manipulating. The gist of it is I have no say. He is with them. I don't approve. She knows that. Won't change." Again, forget a

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ 05/17/13 12:28 PM

Originally Posted By: PatientManYou're telling my story, jp. Seriously. You feel like a failure and then make choices to set you up to fail so that you can convince yourself you are right. I KNOW. I'VE DONE THAT! Self fulfilling prophecy. H

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by PatientMan @ 05/17/13 12:27 PM

Originally Posted By: jp787Self hatred - Shame - no self wroth - fear - self pity. That is my drink of choice? Order something else. It's your choice.

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by CharlieBrown @ 05/17/13 12:27 PM

To answer your second question, I believe I would get one of two answers: 1. This is no big deal, just an interesting guy on FB. 2. Yes, I am really feeling strongly about him. Not sure what I am going to do about it but I can't let it go. I think

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ 05/17/13 12:24 PM

Self hatred - Shame - no self wroth - fear - self pity. That is my drink of choice?

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by PatientMan @ 05/17/13 12:24 PM

You're telling my story, jp. Seriously. You feel like a failure and then make choices to set you up to fail so that you can convince yourself you are right. I KNOW. I'VE DONE THAT! I've been where you are now, and I know that me telling you th

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by CharlieBrown @ 05/17/13 12:23 PM

KD, I've worn myself out! Thanks for the LOL... To answer your questions. Yes, having this going on, while we are going through therapy and being thrown in my face is a tough deal, if not a deal breaker. At least if we discussed it I would feel li

Midlife Crisis

Re: I still like blue, what else? by I.am.Dmarie @ 05/17/13 12:19 PM

Hi Nero- good to hear from you. We are really doing this aren't we? Soon it will be one yr on this site, we are kindred spirits! Last night @ midnight H called me to wish me happy b-day, like 3x he said it and apologized for his lack of interest i

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by TSquared2 @ 05/17/13 12:18 PM

oh and let me not forget Agent Scully from the X-files...geez...what was I thinking...?

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by labug @ 05/17/13 12:16 PM

You don't have to open up here, you're not ready. But you're talking and you're getting stuff out, stuff that needs to come out. You can close this thread, we will still be here.

Midlife Crisis

Re: Still Struggling and need help #3 by TSquared2 @ 05/17/13 12:14 PM

Hi CB, Please think about what KD asked...really think about it... Now, imo, W is in fantasy land from the books you described and her obsessive behavior regarding tat-boy...ask yourself, would he dump his wife and go for your W? I think you said

For Newcomers

Re: plainly confused by paulmav2013 @ 05/17/13 12:13 PM

Live a different experience. My parent immigrated from europe, so we would go live there for 6 months have the kids learn a different language and experience a different culture before they start school. Just a crazy adventure

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