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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by Maika @ Yesterday at 12:49 AM

Quote:Sometimes in life, you have to stand up and be counted and find something that makes you tick. Quote: Sometimes you have to look at your situation in life and be brutally honest with yourself. Words to live by.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by Benito @ Yesterday at 12:30 AM

Originally Posted By: lcause I get it that you have never been depressed or felt this way about anything. But I can try to create the mental picture for you Do you honestly believe you are so unique that you have to explain these things? I wanted
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: blended, not stirred. by Lovelyp @ 09/19/17 11:43 PM

I think at this point you need to calm down. Detach and start thinking about yourself. GAL and take your mind off the M for a while. It will help you to think better. You shouldnt make a rush decision
Midlife Crisis
Travel safely. When you return home, please start a new thread and link this one to it. I will link your new thread to this one for you.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by Lovelyp @ 09/19/17 11:19 PM

Sounds like you need someone to talk to, to detach and GAL. Looking at what she and the OM are up to will not help you. It will only make you feel depressed.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: How do I get things right? by Lovelyp @ 09/19/17 11:02 PM

Originally Posted By: sandi2Hi LovelyP, welcome to our community. This may shock you, but I'll just tell you up front that you need to get away from your H. I am very serious! This man is threatening you! . He has been treating you very badly for
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: What I've Learned So Far ... by bttrfly @ 09/19/17 10:20 PM

Thanks Roist, Gordie and Sotto ... {{{{{hugs}}}}} According to my mother, because of my extreme sensitivity this will be harder for me to work through. I'm sure not feeling 100% is adding to the blues. Yes, Roist the volunteer work is very rewardi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What to Do? 3 by Parkema @ 09/19/17 09:37 PM

Hi Chris, You have the guru on your side, we all love Sandi. If like me and you’ve been advised by Sandi you will see a constant in her posts about the Mr Nice Guy Syndrome MNG, I’m sure Sandi will straighten me out BUT basically in my case my WW sh
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by lcause @ 09/19/17 09:18 PM

I forgot to add: when someone else then says "wow you played that chord perfectly!", my brain instantly realizes that it was something actually "cool" and THEN it releases the dopamine and thus I feel good. It is my messed up rew
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by lcause @ 09/19/17 09:07 PM

I need that easy fix or something to throw me out of loop. I get it that you have never been depressed or felt this way about anything. But I can try to create the mental picture for you: imagine something you really hate to do. Something that really
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: WAS OR WHAT 10 by roist @ 09/19/17 08:41 PM

Yeah I realise she could take it that way or just badly. It was just so obviously childish that maybe if prompted she would see that too. A kind of truth dart reflecting back at her. Job's advice and reasoning is noted for future reference. Gordie I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by lcause @ 09/19/17 08:22 PM

Sure, I am codependent. It definitely is due to neurotransmitters and/or learned/wired behavior/genes. I know it's my goddamn problem. I just don't feel happy about doing things for myself. Never have. It doesn't feel good. There is no satisfaction.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by Benito @ 09/19/17 08:07 PM

Originally Posted By: lcauseI lied. There is one thing that I want to do. Doing things for others, not for myself. That is happiness for me. I remember fixing a lot of things in my xfil/xmil house, but in ours I never even started. I need the validat
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 6 by Lovelyp @ 09/19/17 08:02 PM

I feel you are doing so well. keep making those changing for yourself and your Ds. I find your threads interesting because you talk about interesting issues. Leadership is really a key area for a man and areas where men must lead are all interesting
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 25yearsMLC 10 Years Later I FILE D part 6 by 25yearsmlc @ 09/19/17 06:33 PM

Originally Posted By: KGuyBoy,- i did skim a little ;-) Sounds like you are already are onto what H wants to avoid. In my experience, Judges do see through all the games and if they have a good idea that he is hiding assets, he will get roasted.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: If life gives you lemon....do lemonade by Lana_71 @ 09/19/17 05:36 PM

Not Lbs the Mlc
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: If life gives you lemon....do lemonade by Lana_71 @ 09/19/17 05:35 PM

To be honest sometimes I get jealous from others who have a fight or a spew at least you can tell that you matter to fight with at least the lbs tried to contact the family even with a twisted mind of blaming them for his misery. At least he keeps te
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: If life gives you lemon....do lemonade by Lana_71 @ 09/19/17 05:24 PM

Thank you Job for your reply...sometimes I get confused whether I am creating a reason to contact him or not. Then I think even so as long as I can leave my expectations it is fine.... although it is very difficult... my daughter asked me if it was m
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my life #2 by lcause @ 09/19/17 04:57 PM

25 I'm not working harder on it because again, nothing gives me a good feeling. It's really hard to force yourself to do practises or go out if you constantly think like "when is this over". I'm like that with say dishes too currently. I h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Attaining MEH by 25yearsmlc @ 09/19/17 04:30 PM

T3 fwiw, my attorney's said the "usual" temporary support hearing is 3-4 months BUT b/c I had medical issues, they thought it could be faster, Filed mid October, the hearing was the END of January...so 3.5 months. Not faster. If I had
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What to Do? 3 by sandi2 @ 09/19/17 04:07 PM

Thank you. I am so glad you could interpret what I was trying to say.
Midlife Crisis
Job, SBJ and Coly.......thank you so much for your words. Job....thank you for asking questions that made me think. As far as spending time together..... H does do things freely. He is usually very willing to do whatever will make things easier for
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Any Advice? by gw5263 @ 09/19/17 03:43 PM

She has this narrative she sticks to about emotionally separating from me before talking to OM, which i dont buy. She never changed the way she acted towards me until I discovered her dirty little secret. She knew him from High School and claims tha
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Any Advice? by joejoe1 @ 09/19/17 03:26 PM

IMO, you shouldn't take any advice from your wife on this. This is your decision and she knows it. Dont let her influence it. Show her she don't have power over you. "He didnt do anything wrong". Other than sleep with a married woman and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What to Do? 3 by chris19 @ 09/19/17 02:12 PM

Sandi - thank you so much for the advice. Your wisdom and way of explaining everything breaks it down so well!! You are right; there is really no other way. This is MY life!
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