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For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ Today at 09:58 AM

Originally Posted By: jp787Originally Posted By: lovethehubQuote:Talking with my therapist we decided that I first need to become aware of my negative self talk, to know when I am saying things in my head that are keeping me down. The problem is ther

For Newcomers

Re: Just saying hello. by Papa4Life @ Today at 09:58 AM

Ah rats!! Looks like I accidentally pasted one of my old posts smack in the middle of this post! Sorry! Why on earth can't we edit our posts?!?

For Newcomers

Re: Just saying hello. by prometheus @ Today at 09:58 AM

Before i respond any further to the recent posts on this thread, i thought that i should give an update on the dynamic of the situation that i find myself in. I will mention things that stand out for me. (my behaviour as described immediately below

For Newcomers

Re: Just saying hello. by Papa4Life @ Today at 09:56 AM

Hi Pro. I'm pretty sure you'll get most of the basics from DB. DR is a newer book and offers some feedback following on from DB reader feedback etc. It's funny what you said about "feeling as if time is running out". I spoke with a good f

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ Today at 09:55 AM

Originally Posted By: lovethehubQuote:Talking with my therapist we decided that I first need to become aware of my negative self talk, to know when I am saying things in my head that are keeping me down. The problem is there are so many times I am no

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by jp787 @ Today at 09:53 AM

Originally Posted By: Mach1Originally Posted By: jp787Focus on the good, the positive. Look closely and don't dismiss the little things. JP, Anyone that knows me well, and even from what I post here.. Knows that I am a firm believer, that life i

For Newcomers

Re: LRT during divorce proceedings by jaytee35 @ Today at 09:52 AM

Sandi, Thank you for the valueable insight. I do agree with you that in order for things to get better she needs to pursue me. I guess that is were patience comes in. I really am starting to believe she has moved on and over me though. And that is

For Newcomers

Re: Wife dropped the bomb on me two months ago by BKS @ Today at 09:47 AM

Another Stander and Mr Bond, Thank you so much for your replies. And thank you for the reality check. AnotherStander, thank you for taking the time to read and dissect my post. I am very new to this and I appreciate you and anyone elses construct

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by lovethehub @ Today at 09:47 AM

Quote:Talking with my therapist we decided that I first need to become aware of my negative self talk, to know when I am saying things in my head that are keeping me down. The problem is there are so many times I am not aware that I am doing it. Sure

For Newcomers

Re: Help! Patience is tough by jaytee35 @ Today at 09:44 AM

BrightFuture, I too am very skeptical about doing it. Currently right now my account and her account is deactivated.....well hers has been deactiviated the last I knew but I havent checked in a couple months since I deleted mine. I think I may st

For Newcomers

Re: still trying to save (..not broken, just bent..) by labug @ Today at 09:44 AM

Nice that she texted and set the tone. Enjoy the good stuff and don't worry about tomorrow or what she will or won't do. You have no control over it, like worrying about the weather. What does grounded mean to you?

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by Mach1 @ Today at 09:38 AM

Originally Posted By: jp787Focus on the good, the positive. Look closely and don't dismiss the little things. JP, Anyone that knows me well, and even from what I post here.. Knows that I am a firm believer, that life is about perspective, and ho

For Newcomers

Re: Lost and confused part3 by jp787 @ Today at 09:37 AM

lostforever - You HAVE to get out of your poor me I can't do this, I am all a lone, no one loves me the world is against me, blah blah blah mode. You WILL remain stuck and get worse unless you tell yourself, very loudly in your head STOP!!! Sound

Midlife Crisis

Re: H is back in Replay after a brief period of sanity by Cadet @ Today at 09:36 AM

Originally Posted By: CadetOriginally Posted By: snodderlyI'm glad you had a chuckle over my comment, but it's very true. ABSOLUTELY! And thinking about this a little more. People wear MASKS. Even us, so how many times when someone says somethi

For Newcomers

Re: WAW / ILUBINILWY / CONFUSED! (Thread II) by AnotherStander @ Today at 09:34 AM

Originally Posted By: FartiltreI am a wreck this morning. Of course you are, look at what you're going through! Hang in there, it's going to get worse when she moves out but then you can start the healing process. Don't look at her moving out as th

For Newcomers

Re: On and On...she just keeps on trying by Breakdown @ Today at 09:33 AM

You've worked on you.....you've shown H the new you....H likes the new you....H is scared you'll go back to old you and has his own issues. At some point, I think H is going to have to lose you, or see that he could lose you. That is when he'll dec

Midlife Crisis

Re: The unexpected journey continues by oldtimer @ Today at 09:33 AM

GM, if you want your children to be happy and healthy, then show them that. To show them that, count yourself as important and take care of yourself.

For Newcomers

Re: Keep on, keeping on! by lovethehub @ Today at 09:32 AM

Reb, Speaking as my experience as the one who had an A, I would say it took 2-3 years after before I was really ready to do the work I had to do in my M, or at least until that is what showed to my H. I knew I didn't want a divorce and I wasn't str

For Newcomers

Re: On and On...she just keeps on trying by labug @ Today at 09:32 AM

I'm sure it must be but...it seems that what you're doing is working in some way. Let it keep working until it no longer works for you. Or he gets over his fear of engulfment.

Surviving the Big D

Re: Did Propecia kill my marriage? by oldtimer @ Today at 09:26 AM

Much better question: how did my longstanding issues contribute to making and sustaining an unhealthy R?

Midlife Crisis

Re: H is back in Replay after a brief period of sanity by Cadet @ Today at 09:25 AM

Originally Posted By: snodderlyI'm glad you had a chuckle over my comment, but it's very true. ABSOLUTELY!

Surviving the Big D

Re: X demands full custody...I'm engaged, Pt 3: Court? by oldtimer @ Today at 09:25 AM

Some thoughts: (1) You have no idea why XW is acting as she is. It is probably a good idea not to personalize it or take it as an attack on you. My own *guess* would be that she is upset thinking of her children having a stepmother and she feels sca

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by cbtdad @ Today at 09:23 AM

Originally Posted By: jp787Originally Posted By: kate's_placeI can't remember...you ADD JP? I did test for that as an adult and was told I don't, yet I strongly think I may. I think I have dyslexia. When I read I can't concentrate or stay in it

Midlife Crisis

Re: H is back in Replay after a brief period of sanity by snodderly @ Today at 09:17 AM

I'm glad you had a chuckle over my comment, but it's very true.

For Newcomers

Re: Keep on, keeping on! by reb9597 @ Today at 09:17 AM

Okay the brain is really working this am... My feelings of being done are basic self protection. Because H may say he's 'not closed' but his actions are nothing different than the past year. He's going through the motions, but he did that througho

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