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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Going through divorce #2 by lcause @ Yesterday at 06:36 AM

I do understand it now though. I do have to let it go. I can't control her at all (I know I'm probably a broken record), but this is just the 2x4 I really needed. She wants to find her happiness. I don't know if it's pathetic or rather "arrogan
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A. NC or not NC? Unsure. LImbo. (4th thread) by Coconut @ Yesterday at 06:35 AM

Ginger is right, she hasn't recommitted to MR, so your killing yourself making sure that she isn't with OM, which doesn't matter if she doesn't want to be with you anyway. I don't think I've ever known sandi2 to say that you should continue to snoop
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: What I'd Say by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 06:31 AM

Originally Posted By: doodlerDawn, I agree, you just have to be patient. I work with a lot of Indians (the kind that come from India) and it amazes me how well their arranged marriages seem to work. I used to think it was insane to have an arrange
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: What I'd Say by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 06:16 AM

Food for thought, I suppose, Doodler. I've always kind of been one of those pie in the sky kind of people when it comes to love and marriage. All my life, I just wanted to get married and have kids. I didn't mind working along the way, not necessaril
For Newcomers
Jim, Can you give us some examples of her "working on us"?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 2 by doodler @ Yesterday at 05:59 AM

Originally Posted By: Treasur...until a few weeks ago but has now disappeared back to silence/OW/unicorn-hunting...no idea. Is it legal to hunt unicorns in the UK?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to detach from WTF world by Teppo @ Yesterday at 05:56 AM

Originally Posted By: TreasurI seem to have hit a funny second wind of grief (or 500th!) as I'm working hard to build my detaching muscles. I just miss my H. The sound of his voice, his smell, the feeling of him in another room. I think this is the f
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 2 by SmokeyD @ Yesterday at 05:51 AM

Detaching has been the hardest part but I do feel like I am making progress each day. I do know that I have made changes in my life and realize I was in a rut over the past year. I am more energetic, lost weight, put on muscle, addressed all the th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A. NC or not NC? Unsure. LImbo. (4th thread) by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 05:51 AM

You are spinning all over the place in your head. I never like to go against Sandi's advice, so I won't. Maybe I missed what her version of "working on us" looks like. All I see is her cake eating and you spinning around about contact/no c
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Life by a thousand stitches by kml @ Yesterday at 05:48 AM

"Let go or be dragged" became my mantra going through the divorce.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by SmokeyD @ Yesterday at 05:46 AM

Teppo.....my only advice would be to take your S into consideration knowing that you and your W are going to be heavily involved with each other for the next 20 yrs or so. I have 2 daughters that are 8 and 6.......I do not want them to feel awkward
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by LH19 @ Yesterday at 05:45 AM

Originally Posted By: TeppoOK, LH19, It's sad that words and phrases that we once said to our Ws without hesitation are all of a sudden toxic or wrong. If those words will give you closure then by all means fire away.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Limerence and My Situation 2 by MrCAS @ Yesterday at 05:44 AM

Originally Posted By: EastTNOriginally Posted By: parkemaI suppose I don't like upsetting her as it makes me feel I'm going backwards in showing that "better" person, plus maybe it also pushes her further towards the AP? It's not a contest
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Limerence and My Situation 2 by MrCAS @ Yesterday at 05:43 AM

Never apologize for being the man you want to be. It takes courage and convictions to set these goals and make these changes.Good on you! You are right to set boundaries and limits. You have to be steady in your course and maintain them unless somet
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A. NC or not NC? Unsure. LImbo. (4th thread) by hoosjim @ Yesterday at 05:42 AM

I just cant win with you people. Sandi2 says "you shouldn't have taken down your surveillance", you say "take it down". Yeeesh. Why i am still checking is because I had good reason to believe she (W) was, in her own paradigm,
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A. NC or not NC? Unsure. LImbo. (4th thread) by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 05:27 AM

I am still not understanding. I think I have said this a few times before, but why are you killing yourself over surveillance and the OM when she hasn't even recommitted to the M? Why don't you do yourself a favor, eliminate OM from your radar, sto
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by doodler @ Yesterday at 05:26 AM

Teppo, LH19 is right. Also, you should keep in mind that being served or going through the actual divorce proceedings are just the legal events. It's the emotional bond that's important, and like LH19 said, you'll feel differently at some other p
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A. NC or not NC? Unsure. LImbo. (4th thread) by hoosjim @ Yesterday at 05:23 AM

Dang it. I just can't trust her. Maybe I should, but she has definitely not made any sort of rock solid commitment to the MR, and there are just too many doubts on the OM/A front. She easily could have seen him the two days she was beach with bff (
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by Teppo @ Yesterday at 05:19 AM

OK, LH19, It's sad that words and phrases that we once said to our Ws without hesitation are all of a sudden toxic or wrong.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by LH19 @ Yesterday at 05:13 AM

Teppo, Seriously? Your'e thinking way to ahead of yourself. You have 6-12 months to worry about it. Also, what you may want to say today will probably be different by the time it is over. Whatever you do don't say something like "I'll always b
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 2 by KGuy @ Yesterday at 05:09 AM

Originally Posted By: SmokeyDSent my W an email with the boundaries. She responded sounds good, like she doesn't even care. Then moved on to when I was picking up the kids tonight and what location she would be at. She is flat, not emotional and a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to detach from WTF world by SJW @ Yesterday at 05:06 AM

Hi Treasur You sound like you're doing well generally although you have been on this journey a long time and that scares the life out of me. I don't believe you were conned for 20 years it's MLC and he is now a different person to the one that was
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by Teppo @ Yesterday at 05:02 AM

Question for you all. Since D is a significant life event, does it deserve a final parting words with the W when it's all said and done. Wouldn't it be appropriate to say something like: "Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out." "I hope yo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Going through divorce #2 by lcause @ Yesterday at 04:57 AM

Originally Posted By: Treasur"I doubt it's a clue."....What if you're wrong? What harm would it do to think about it? She wouldn't date others if that's what she really means. We can't trust anything they say. It feels more like guilt all
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Boston Dad Need of Help Part 2 by Teppo @ Yesterday at 04:56 AM

Acc, To your point about my W fearing my temper. I think that is accurate, but during this whole ordeal, I've been very civil and calm. So, she can't claim that I've been "angry" at her for wanting to D me. I'm very sad, but not angry. She
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