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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Still Struggling with a plan! by hopeOK @ Yesterday at 02:14 PM

H waited up in bed for me last night after I got done reading to D. He was in the middle of the bed as opposed to his far side & he was faced toward my side rather than having his back to it like he has for the past 4 nights. He initiated a conve
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife had emotional affair-Filed for divorce 2 by Azzork @ Yesterday at 02:08 PM

I think that Cadet has it right here: you didn't break her, so you can't fix her. It sounds like this is a journey she needs to take. In my opinion, all you can do is let her go, hope she gets the help she needs and realizes what she's giving up.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife had emotional affair-Filed for divorce 2 by WhyUs @ Yesterday at 02:03 PM

When we first met she would argue with me all the time. She was very controlling of everything that I did. I tried to break up with her about 5 times. However, she would always come back crying. I felt so sorry for her that I always took her back
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife left with kids yesterday... by Azzork @ Yesterday at 01:54 PM

I've found that dressing better, eating better, doing more interesting things and meeting new people are great first steps to regaining confidence!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife had emotional affair-Filed for divorce 2 by WhyUs @ Yesterday at 01:53 PM

Thank you V and Onthup, I know you are both right and I am trying really hard. Every time I seem to make headway I fall back a couple of steps. Last night I came across information that was really troubling to me One of the things that came up du
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife left with kids yesterday... by Cadet @ Yesterday at 01:52 PM

Originally Posted By: fduI know I have to get my confidence back. Question is how? Well the advantage with this is that DB'ing can help work on YOU. So a goal is = get my confidence back. What will that look like? How will it feel? What small step
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Still Struggling with a plan! by hopeOK @ Yesterday at 01:52 PM

Originally Posted By: CaliGuy Again ... he will do what he wants when he wants ... he already proved that right? You leaving or staying is not going to change what he wants to do .. you have to stop thinking you and your actions control him. The A
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: XW wants lunch with me and...........OM by Cadet @ Yesterday at 01:43 PM

FTR we will both be going to a wedding around the same time, my sons is scheduled for fathers day next year too. What a fathers day present! I guess I am just in a different place as I don't really care what ex does as long as my kids are happy!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: FIDO - Changing The Rules - Pt 2 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 01:42 PM

Originally Posted By: NH115 I do need to change the tone in therapy. It's been the W show for far too long in there. If she pulls it in a joint therapy session, I'd just stand up, make a little speech, and leave. "You know what? This isn't
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New wow by Uphill @ Yesterday at 01:40 PM

This is a perspective I was looking for! Just how it would "look" if word gets out. Sandi, yes we were not married. Together 7 years, got engaged and now we are not engaged. I will give you a little more background due to the fact my
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 01:39 PM

I really don't trust him either. That aside, let's give him the benefit of the doubt that he really does miss his life. Should his regrets, without promised and actual action of change take you off your path? Nothing should take you off your path,
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:35 PM

And, yes Job... he's trying to manipulate. Not out of some sneaky plan though... He's trying to manipulate to FEEL better. It's still all about HIM. He is trying the old stuff. HE tells me he misses me and so forth and it buys him time to use his d
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:32 PM

This is what I think? I don't think he knows what he wants. I think he is uncomfortable and realizing his family has left him behind. He's tried for months and months to reach out to the girls and they aren't interested in having a relationship with
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife left with kids yesterday... by fdu @ Yesterday at 01:30 PM

Cadet, Good morning. Ok, just have to do that. It [censored] that I have to put aside my feelings of love and see how distant and hard she is trying to move on or keep me out. The uncertainty of not know what the future holds for us as a family is h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm moving on...up! by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 01:25 PM

WPS right back at ya, NH! Can't wait. Isn't it funny when you look back and realize just how far you have come. I had a conversation with someone yesterday that has been in my life since before I met XH. I even dated this man a few times. We long a
Midlife Crisis
I certainly would share that news w/him. I don't think he's moving to your area. I think he's trying to soften you up to drop the settlement or put it on hold. He knows you well and knows how to push your buttons to get what he wants.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: XW wants lunch with me and...........OM by job @ Yesterday at 01:22 PM

Tad, Everyone has given you good advice. They aren't getting married until next year and a lot could happen during the year. Your future DIL may decide a bit later on that she wants the wedding elsewhere. There have to be some inexpensive venues
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:17 PM

I've had two nibbles from editors in Asheville. So, he can move HERE, but we may be in Asheville.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Jim0987 #14 - due for another upgrade soon by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 01:17 PM

You know, Jim, I can honestly say ditto what Toots, Vanilla and rd said before me, because they are far more wise than I. Let me say, from my experience, this whole thing is tough. Unlike you, I didn't have young children in the mix and I struggled
Midlife Crisis
I would move forward on the settlement. Do not hold off on this. You need to have this situation put to rest and if he wakes up later and does the hard work, and wants to try again, YOU are the one that decides whether you want to make a go of it a
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:15 PM

Alright. I asked him for some space to digest. That's what I will do. Take the space and digest. He didn't even know the date for the hearing. So, I guess that means he hasn't spoken to his attorney. Jeeeezzzus. He is a little boy.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 01:14 PM

why would you hold off on the settlement?
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:14 PM

And, I think I feel a little angry. It's incredibly selfish to lay all that on me. I don't hear him asking me what I want.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: LBS trying to get it right by Azzork @ Yesterday at 01:13 PM

Originally Posted By: OntheupYour marriage as you knew it is dead in the water. Stop blaming yourself for that. A marriage is 50/50. She could have spoke up at any time over the years to tell you how unhappy she was. I was reading a book yesterda
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 01:07 PM

Thanks Job. So, do I push for the settlement? Do I hold off? Do I respond? What the ??xoojower0jaf!! I feel a bit like a baby bunny who is being teased out of the nest and he is holding some cast iron skillet behind his back.
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