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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Leaving it up to God (I think!) by Coly23 @ 03/23/17 11:58 PM

Previous Thread: Not sure where I am so no title! Thought it was time for a quick update. I wrote a long one yesterday morning but lost it and couldn't face typing it out again! So after all my spinning last week H came over on Friday for di
Midlife Crisis
Also as part of detaching - I'm thinking about reaching out to ex wife #1 just to see her and hope for more closure and clarity on that what're. I'm not sure it's reopening an old scar. Something tells me it may help me gain perspective on what's
Midlife Crisis
Thanks so much for your response, I guess what comes to mind is what are declarations (versus boundaries) and mind reading (versus calculating moves) how were you a mind reader? How did you reform ? My anger is actually pretty controlled, I pray a
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: You can't hit a moving target by LouR @ 03/23/17 11:38 PM

Hey Sweetie, Sorry I have not posted to you for a while, I got a bit behind but have now caught up again. I am happy to read you are in a good place within yourself right now, you have come so far and grown so much since I first met you, I truly a
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Standing, When DB'ing becomes unhealthy by LALost @ 03/23/17 11:33 PM

I cannot thank you all for being here and this thread. Maybe this post reignites things. Statistics matter to me. They do. In mwd books she talks in terms of weeks and months not years. And she also seems to focus on tactics and strategy...detaching
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie, need help with WAW! (Thread 2) by 180Man @ 03/23/17 10:53 PM

Kaizen, Thanks for taking the time to reply. I know I haven't always been good at listening to what you've said because it was hard to hear, but I appreciate it. My changes aren't going to be what makes her look. But if she does look, then that's w
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Hearing the Fat Lady Sing by ForGump @ 03/23/17 10:41 PM

Originally Posted By: GordieAnd when they say go out and date...are they setting you up with any friendly ladies? Not really. Those friends believe that setting up friends never work. And, besides, as a co-dependent of a sort, it's probably good for
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It takes two to make it work (pt. 6) by Kyh @ 03/23/17 10:30 PM

Hi SBJ, just wondering how you were doing. Sorry your going through this and your w is making it worse w/no empathy. Actions like that are reminders of how gone they are in the MLC. Not advising to drag your feet but don't let her rush you. There is
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newby here . . . (Thread 7) by ForGump @ 03/23/17 10:18 PM

I tossed out the giver vs. taker theory out there to provoke some thought, knowing that it's not that simple, nor so black & white. In fact, whenever I look back at my own marriage, esp. reading old emails between me and my ex, I remember that sh
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: You can't hit a moving target by Kyh @ 03/23/17 10:15 PM

Glad you're doing better today! It sounds like your processing things and letting go. Keep taking care of yourself.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Lessons learned by lt0402 @ 03/23/17 09:03 PM

Originally Posted By: Jeep74Now, there are some issues concerning her/her family and the alienation of the children, for starters. I'd like for it to be amicable, but its not looking that way. I tried. You're a strong dude Jeep. Guess you keep tryi
For Newcomers
Your W is out of her mind cheesyt. She has no clue the wonderful person she's pushing out of her life. You should be nothing but proud of the changes you've made and the life you've rebuilt for yourself. Never doubt that you are an amazing and str
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: A WW? (7) by lt0402 @ 03/23/17 08:56 PM

CT, you have no idea how happy it makes me to see you brother! I've poked my nose over in the MLC forum to see if you'd updated but hadn't seen anything recently. Been wondering about you, but already knew that you'd be doing really well. You're a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Wife Left and Wants an Amicable Divorce by 25yearsmlc @ 03/23/17 08:08 PM

I just wanted to share something about in laws. 20 years ago, My oldest brother left his wife, whom I loved. I don't think he had an OW, (but he was delusional about his dating prospects). Anyway, I'm still close to my former SIL, and I probably
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Wife Left and Wants an Amicable Divorce by JasonWe @ 03/23/17 07:59 PM

i am also under the impression that right now she is researching "uncontested divorce" services. i honestly don't know what this means and am kind of crushed that it's real enough to her that she is pushing for it this quickly. i almost t
Midlife Crisis
I am new here and don't know anything. Although I'm a lawyer I am not a family lawyer and the laws of every state are different. So I can't offer you anything on the legal perspective and there are certainly cooler heads here on the DB perspective.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Wife Left and Wants an Amicable Divorce by JasonWe @ 03/23/17 07:57 PM

living in japan right now doesn't even really interest me. it was more of something that I knew we both would love. i don't think i'm emotionally prepared right now to do it alone. as far as the band...we're currently on a break right now anyway..
Midlife Crisis
As a thank you and reminder to myself, I have been reading other's posts. BluWave, you are amazing and your lessons alone could heal many a wounded heart. I will stop looking and analyzing everything he does. And I think I have been so sad these l
Midlife Crisis
Hi all...this is a major question.... here's my history (formerly crw613...now LALost) http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...586#Post2734586 Wife is about to do BD#3, and I think ask for D. We have been separated 6 weeks, I separated at her r
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Wife Left and Wants an Amicable Divorce by 180Man @ 03/23/17 07:21 PM

So...my W also loves and cares deeply for me yet wants an "amicable divorce." My W also did not want to work on things very much -- we had about five weeks of counseling, once a week and didn't get very far partially because the counselor s
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Count on ups and downs (III) by WillDo @ 03/23/17 07:12 PM

Another sleepless night. I am not silencing my brain as I think. It is impacting me. My thinking my actions is getting more and more filed with anxiety. I want todo an action, initiate conversation, do some other changes. But I feel down. Hopeless an
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My Wife Left and Wants an Amicable Divorce by JasonWe @ 03/23/17 06:52 PM

i should add that she is 26 now and i am 36. 1980 and 1990
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Loosening My Grip by marye @ 03/23/17 06:38 PM

Hi! Helies' advice is very insightful! I also feel better when i know he won't be at home because I organize things only according to me! I guess it because I haven't detached so much...
Midlife Crisis
I haven't been here in forever but just thought of this place and looked to see if it was still here. I just posted an update in my last thread (from 2012!) and you can add me to the success stories of reconciling after divorce. Here is the link to
Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again
Jump to new posts Re: Lonely bed again by Freckle6 @ 03/23/17 06:31 PM

I thought about this place today and decided to see if it still existed and found my last thread here. Since my original threads seem to not be here anymore, I will give a brief (who am I kidding, probably not so brief...) background. Good thing th
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