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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided, that was then, this is now by jim0987 @ Yesterday at 08:10 PM

I'm increasingly getting to the place where I feel what happens happens. We have to cooperate for our kids. Beyond that I just want her either back or to have zero power over me.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided, that was then, this is now by Mozza @ Yesterday at 07:59 PM

It's very early in my sitch, but it's hard for me to imagine wanting to be "friends" with my W after a D. There are so many feelings and unresolved issues that just can no longer be discussed. I think it would be uncomfortable. It still is
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Riding the rollercoaster by Maybell @ Yesterday at 07:57 PM

When are you going to quit feeling sorry for yourself and start growing? You're on a board full of people in similar situations but you act like you're the only person this has ever happened to. Yours isn't even the worst case I've read. Not even clo
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Spinning my wheels, but laughing all the way by JustStunned @ Yesterday at 07:54 PM

Digesting the “Journey from Abandonment to Healing” might be helpful if you haven’t already done so. I read it through once and have since begun to slowly consume it. I am finding it personally helpful. It has given me insight to some of the behavior
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Riding the rollercoaster by dawgy @ Yesterday at 07:54 PM

The lack of respect was going on long before I shait kicked the OM . She talked like that to me for the last few months . Like I said before , when I first found out about the affair she was very loving and caring and assurring . As the affair progre
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XVIII by GoatGal @ Yesterday at 07:48 PM

Hey Maybell, Instead of saying 'Stop thinking about him"--- (Like "Don't think about the polka-dotted talking Octopus on the dining room table, right smack in the mashed potatoes.") ---- have something else lined up. Like on a rec
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2)DETACH. by GoatGal @ Yesterday at 07:42 PM

Awww... Shucks. (Scuffing toe in the dirt and looking at the ground.) T'weren't nuthin'... Yeah. I can talk a good game. LIVING it is 100 times harder. But you guys know that. Still, I'm learning. I am a Work In Progress. ---Your Pal, Th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Maybell XVIII by Maybell @ Yesterday at 07:37 PM

Maybell XVII Spent the day on a really enjoyable field trip with S8's class. Son of the woman H may or may not have been chasing was on the field trip too, which kept me triggering. Spent part of the day obsessing and part praying and part sayin
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Inside my chrysalis 6 by Card29 @ Yesterday at 07:36 PM

Ss, I'm sure labug will respond to your questions and concerns. I'd like to offer you thoughts as a fellow struggler. EDIT: Sorry for the novel. I've had this open in the background all afternoon at work today and kept adding things as I thought o
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Riding the rollercoaster by Tarheel @ Yesterday at 07:29 PM

Originally Posted By: dawgyShe talks to me like Im stupid , she doesnt seem to have any respect for me anymore and IM not sure why . I'll go ahead and say it- do you think by chance it has anything to do with the fact that you (and your son) attacke
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Riding the rollercoaster by dawgy @ Yesterday at 07:21 PM

Ive had a brutal time this week . It was hard but last night we went out as a family for her birthday supper . The boys enjoyed it and she seemed ok . I was very uncomfortable but kept it well hid . She talks to me like Im stupid , she doesnt seem to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 6 by Tarheel @ Yesterday at 07:20 PM

Looks like another thread is in my near future, so I'll wrap this one up with some random thoughts... Not sure why, but I've been feeling a lot calmer and more at peace with the way things are lately. If we were to D tomorrow, my life wouldn't reall
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Edz - continuing to move forward by jim0987 @ Yesterday at 07:11 PM

Glad you didn't hit the bottle
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Edz - continuing to move forward by jim0987 @ Yesterday at 07:10 PM

I sometimes wonder if the reason WAS finds detaching so easy is because they have kind of detached from reality.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Edz - continuing to move forward by edz @ Yesterday at 07:06 PM

..As she just did, been busy and will try tomorrow... Beyond being angry or upset now, its not W its just life and I need to chill out and calm down.
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: #43. This isn't going the way I expected by kat727 @ Yesterday at 07:05 PM

Totally off the last couple of days subject: Wasn't last night's game awesome??!!! I kept switching channels back and forth or running into S22's room to watch since I didn't want to jinx them. S19 got home at the top of the ninth, he asks me what
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: I've dropped the rope.... by Toots @ Yesterday at 07:01 PM

Hi Theoden, thanks so much for your reply and your interest in my sitch. I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you and wish you happiness going forwards. I initially left our family home to stay with my parents for a bit after BD. I was born in
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: jim0987 #3 - replacing black holes with cats by jim0987 @ Yesterday at 07:01 PM

I've been pretzelled.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2)DETACH. by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 06:59 PM

Originally Posted By: 1foot2Yes I am definitely going to revisit this post many times! Thank you GG. I just copied both of them and saved them in my personal DB archives! Awesome, awesome stuff, GoatGal.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2)DETACH. by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 06:56 PM

Originally Posted By: GoatGal I would love to hear more what other parents have to say on this. I raised four kids (and now have two grandkids), and I wouldn't change a dang thing in there, GG. Your last two posts were GOLDEN. Starsky
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Edz - continuing to move forward by edz @ Yesterday at 06:56 PM

Well we did pick up on an email, I've now put two personal boundries in place, firstly I dont want to deal with MIL in any way unless its connected to the appartment which cant be avoided and secondly anything relating to S or our R we do via phone c
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2)DETACH. by 1foot2 @ Yesterday at 06:55 PM

Yes I am definitely going to revisit this post many times! Thank you GG.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: jim0987 #3 - replacing black holes with cats by jim0987 @ Yesterday at 06:54 PM

Thanks GG. That seems like unbelievably good advice. About 4 weeks in she had me convinced that it was 100% my fault. I unfortunately even agreed that with her and that if I love her I have to let her go. I have a bunch more questions and a bit mor
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2)DETACH. by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 06:52 PM

Originally Posted By: GoatGalI agree with sandi and Starsky here. Sometimes it's hard to know how/where to draw the line. But it's not our responsibility to manage their uncomfortable feelings. Part of them learning and growing is for them to tak
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Moving towards mediation, need to stop limbo by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 06:49 PM

Originally Posted By: DrewOriginally Posted By: mindsinYeah, that's where I was going with my question. For example, demanding commitment to rebuild the marriage, and having her take ownership of mistakes, wrong-doings, etc. And that's the differenc
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