I am just starting another thread as a place to put down random thoughts on such things as the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, computer programming science, John210's hot mom, golf, duck and beavers, dating chicks, my kids, and the comic relief of gold diggers and sugar daddy's.
Latest problem in my life - stubborn clogged bathroom sink drain and possible replacement of toilet base wax seal. It is the kids bathroom (main) so no big hurry since they wont be home from Maui for over a week.
I'll take a shot of Petron..
how the hell did I miss comments about John210's hot mom???
Heisenberg uncertainty principle, computer programming science, John210's hot mom, golf, duck and beavers, dating chicks, my kids, and the comic relief of gold diggers and sugar daddy's.
you left out moonshine making and the caring and feeding of Elin Woods on that list..
snake the drain...the wax ring is easy...you may need some help lifting the potty and getting it seated correctly..
Snake in the drain? Lol, does anyone still even have metal plumbing anymore? PVC is sooooo much better and easier to clean out, 2 slip joints and you're outta there.
The seal for the potty, yeah easy, but a crappy job, somebody's gotta do it tho.
Ducks, beavers, chicks, oh my!
Throw in snakes and you have quite a menagerie...
Can you send me a Baileys and coffee??
I had to call a plumber for my toilet. Decided it was worth the money not to deal with it...
I have had to replace the floor in that bathroom twice - first time was because of the leaky toilet seal and the second time was because I missed a place to caulk on a shower door. I am getting on the toilet pronto because that is easy in comparison to replacing a soggy floor. I am splurging and getting the double wax ring to replace with.
I have tried snaking the drain but I have the hand operated snake and it was not making it around a corner. I may go rent or buy one that you can attach a drill to. Much cheaper than a plumber.
Hey, these home problems come in three's because last Friday I had a broken frozen outside pipe.
Last year it was the laundry drain, broken garage door spring and dvd recorder that all broke in the same week.
BTW Mike, John was the one who said on BBJ's thread that his mom was hot.
BTW Mike, John was the one who said on BBJ's thread that his mom was hot.
man..I need to read faster..it's getting hard to keep up..
John and I have another thing in common - our mom's are both 69. And of course, my XW will have a 69 year old husband in a couple days.
How do you feel about that? not the plumbing but the marriage thingy....I have a hunch that i will be faced with that sooner than later....because not only do we have 69 year old moms but, " and the comic relief of gold diggers and sugar daddy's." may also apply to my ex. Her boyfriend is not 69, he just looks it! Sorry needed to get a shot in there.
I dont really think about it much. I guess the only thing that bugged me some is that I should have gone with monthly spousal support payments instead of buying her out of alimony for $40,000. But, they may have decided to not get married while the alimony was coming in over the next 5 years.
I have learned to rarely believe anything she tells me. For instance, she told me that she would never ever get married again.
Hey Kerry,
I want my Jack please! No ice!
Beavers and snakes!!! Ohhh fun times! For the time being only some snakes around here are getting fed, John?
K
My poor beaver hasn't been around a snake in way too long...might scare the he!! out of her!
For the time being only some snakes around here are getting fed, John?
There are other snakes getting rodents around here.
And there are some that know how to strike, but are just patiently waiting for that special happy smiling lucky beaver...
My poor beaver hasn't been around a snake in way too long...might scare the he!! out of her!
i guess we know what type Kerry is looking for:
Eurasian beavers (C. fiber) were once found throughout temperate and boreal forests of the region (including Britain) except for the Mediterranean area and Japan. By the early 20th century this range had contracted, and at the beginning of the 21st century indigenous populations survived only in the Elbe and Rhône river drainages, southern Norway, France, Mongolia, China, and parts of Russia, especially northwestern Siberia and the Altai region. Efforts to reestablish the Eurasian species began in Sweden in the early 1920s. Since that time, Eurasian beavers have been reintroduced throughout Europe, western Siberia, western China, Mongolia, the Kamchatka Peninsula, and near the Amur River in the Russian Far East
Funny John! It does look like I may be actually meeting one (or more) of these match ladies tomorrow. The one that is French and Vietnamese may finally meet me for hot pot. It is about time considering how many emails we have bantered back and forth with. Hey, I think Eurasian is what they call a mixture of European and Asian - like my kids. And here is the kicker - she is an OSU grad - big time Beaver fan. I am forbidden from mentioning Ducks around her unless it is in reference to the actual bird.
If you're pouring, I'll have a Lemon Drop, please.
Have fun with the 'Beav(s) tomorrow!
like Peking duck? that would be ok?
good for you...more than one today? Did Ali send you your horoscope? is today our lucky day? Should I be meeting people as well?
All kidding aside I hope you enjoy your French and Vietnamese hotpot .... she did look HOT!
Hot pot is rescheduled for Wed. I even suggested waiting for the weekend. I dont know about the other one who had asked to meet several times. I suggested meeting for coffee during the weekday but she has not gotten back. She was very nervous about the whole on line dating thing.
I got a call yesterday from XW's good friend (who is still friends with me) and I visited her Thai restaurant tonight. She tells me that she does not much care for the person my XW has changed into. I did not discuss it further, but I do wonder a little how one can just change so drastic like that so as to lose a family and friends. Oh well, not my problem now unless it affects my kids.
I hate to state the obvious, but you've both changed. In your case, it was for the better. As far as your XW is concerned, you've moved on, so it doesn't really matter, unless, like you said, it affects the kidlets.
All week I've been hearing stories about how the holidays stir up emotions. Perhaps your friend is expressing that she misses the memories of holidays past? She misses her 'old' friend?
Or not.
Merry Christmas Kerry.
I have to believe that these people were there...all the while ... or perhaps they changed gradually but we chose not to notice...or maybe they hid it well or we made them better people for a while.
Stay away from the past, we can not change it and God knows must of us get stuck for longer than we like. Your kids seem to be doing great...now let's concentrate on getting LK a little holiday romance!
I am not sure the best way to explain this phenomenon, but it is all too common. People in our little town would never believe the things Dan has done, but I won't tell them anyway, it isn't their business!
Although two of my male cousins told me a couple weeks ago (at my other cousin's 30th bday party, so they were inebriated!) "You know, Dan always kind of seemed like a d!ck. Like he thought he was better than us. And no offense but you kind of pulled away from the family when you were together. We missed you and we're glad to have you back"...
So sometimes, the changes can wind up being for the better, for us, even if we don't like the process...
Oh, trust me, things are going to work out for the better for myself. And LK too!
I dont really think about it much. I guess the only thing that bugged me some is that I should have gone with monthly spousal support payments instead of buying her out of alimony for $40,000. But, they may have decided to not get married while the alimony was coming in over the next 5 years.
I have learned to rarely believe anything she tells me. For instance, she told me that she would never ever get married again.
Kerry, Did you at least offer to be "Best Man" or to "give away the bride" ? Where's your chivalry? At least you paid for the wedding!?
Here's a song for you:
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=...36c7832dbb01be6
fb2 -
He can have her. I may have paid for the wedding, but he has to pay for maintenance and upkeep. Failure to do that will result in whining.
That is a funny song. The lady I met last night mentioned something last night about her mom's past transgression when her mother was younger in Vietnam. Apparently her sister has a different daddy. An American GI and that her sister found out about him when she was 20 and they re-united and fell in love as long lost father and daughter.
Everything works out well in the end.
So....how was the hotpot???
She really loved the Hot Pot. She had never heard of that kind of food before. And she really wants to bring her mother there now. It makes me feel good that I introduced her to something new and exciting. I need to start taking S9 there more often when I pick him up from Chinese class as the owner is from Taiwan, which is what he learns (traditional characters).
As for the meetup - she is a nice lady with beautiful big eyes, but there seems to be something missing in chemistry. I cant put my finger on it and I dont think I will be emailing her again.
She did say that the prior 4 guys she met were nice in email, but had only one thing in mind when meeting - hookups. Stupid men.
Yeah, stupid men!
I don't want a hookup, or I would say that on my profile, duh! I did get 'favorited' by a man looking for 'discreet sexual encounters'.....ick! Blocked that sucker ASAP!
However, I am curious as I have been out of the dating pool for a while...is there a rule of thumb on kissing? I am not a big fan of it on the first date b/c that tends to encourage the 'hookup'-hunters out there....beyond that I am clueless.
It took 5 months with bf # 1 (high school) and 6 weeks/5 dates with bf #2 (Dan, also high school).
Then there were several first kisses in college, but they were not on 'dates'...
just guys I had known all through college and flirted with sporadically, then we kissed after a night at the bar or a party...
Not trying to hijack Kerry just looking for the male POV!
Sorry you didn't feel a spark, but you do have me curious about HotPot!
hmm....no chemistry in the first meeting....I wonder if chemistry can grow?
What I found with the on-line stuff (i am not talking about you here Kerry) is that it is very easy to meet someone once and then go back to the drawing board.
BBJ, I am kind of old fashioned. I do not think that I would kiss on a first date unless there is some real attraction. However, what is interesting about online dating is that you can get to know the person pretty well via text messaging (or IMing) or phone calls. So at times it does not really feel like a first date.
Hot Pot or Suki Yaki is a lot of fun and is very healthy food. I especially like the spicy Ma La broth if I have the sniffles.
I am not a first date kisser. In fact, it has to feel natural, come as a surprise and not be planned. I forced myself to do the first kiss with the last girl friend because she had expressed disappointment that I had not tried to kiss her.
I am in no rush and my idea is to find someone with whom I am compatible, where there is chemistry but also friendship, who shares some of my interests, and who has left their baggage at the door. Jumping into intimacy too early could be a big mistake.
Hey John -
This place has a location in Montreal and it looks pretty good.
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I am not a first date kisser. In fact, it has to feel natural, come as a surprise and not be planned. I forced myself to do the first kiss with the last girl friend because she had expressed disappointment that I had not tried to kiss her.
My understanding is that the right time for the man to "kiss" is when the woman feels an "emotional" connection to the man. Men tend to want to get "physical" right away and "emotional" later on if the chemistry works. Unfortunately if you get physical too early one of 2 things will happen:
(1) the woman may be led to believe that the man is now "committed" and so give him a big emotional dump. The man then runs a mile in under 2 seconds.
(2) the woman may be led to believe that the man is a "jerk" and will run a mile in under 2 seconds, perhaps after slapping him.
So much for my Theoretical Physics and Chemistry lesson. So you may want to add a pinch of salt ...
Hai again!!
That hotpot stuff looks yummy. Mostly I dig Mongolian BBQ and Phu.
Ah, I see a couple of y'all are dabbling in the online dating realm, self-inflicted train wreck or viable adjunct to RL?
BobbiJo, on kissing. I think that generally there would have to be an amazing connection before I'd kiss on the first meet. However, what I have done is when there was a great connection and an obvious desire to see each other again, I walked her to her truck, got up close like I was going to kiss her, told her she was cute, backed up, said goodbye and left.
I'm not averse to kissing on the first real date, but then again, I've got a brain and eyes to see and can recognize if things are proceeding apace.
Kerry, have fun with that toilet.
Cheers,
Dan
Oh, I will have fun tomorrow with that toilet Dan. The best part is scraping away the old wax - yuck. While I am at it, I plan to mend a hairline crack in the tub enclosure and touch up some caulking of the baseboard and tub.
It is Pho (not Phu) and pronounced a little like fur but without as much R sound at the end. Pretty good, fast and inexpensive Vietnamese food.
I have a coffee meetup tomorrow afternoon with a lady I have no idea what she looks like. This will be different.
OOOOH! The meetup was nice???? Share any details? Seeing her again?
She is a nice, attractive, smart and traditional lady. She seemed a little nervous, but she does not beat around the bush with questions or answers. It is highly likely we will be seeing each other again.
I went to the 11 pm showing of Avatar in 3D by myself tonight. Totally awesome experience. Stunning visuals.
I'm seeing it today w/ S16 before he gets on the train.
Merry Christmas Kerry. Can you pop by for a quick visit when you have time? I could use a gentleman's perspective. Peace.
I saw it at Bridgeport. There are probably some other theaters like at Cedar Hills crossing that have the 3D version.
That's on the agenda for the break...is it too intense for a 10 year old girl?
He went to the Cedar Hills show. Thanks for your visit, and your valuable insight. Peace.
There is a little bit of sexuality and some intense scenes with violence but no blood and gore. I dont remember any bad language. It is borderline for a 10 year old girl.
Unfortunately, it looks like there will be no white Christmas this year in the NW. Last year was awesome! I am quite envious of the people back east getting to enjoy the snow.
Unfortunately, it looks like there will be no white Christmas this year in the NW. Last year was awesome! I am quite envious of the people back east getting to enjoy the snow.
So true... I was just commenting this morning about how we had some 6 feet on the ground around this time last year.
Pouring rain today, the only snow left is what was shoveled last week.
cire
The weather is pretty warm here too. I dont like warm Christmas ...
K
Isn't it funny how we tend to want something we do not have...sometimes...I have had more white christmases than I want to remember...maybe one of these years, i will be on a beach somewhere for christmas
John, isn't there a song like that?? Some beach, some where?
I keep thinking that's the thing to do for Thanksgiving, avoid the orgy of consumer spending and be chillin' on a beach in Fiji or something.
Dan
Driving down the interstate
Running thirty minutes late
Singin' Margaritaville and minding my own
Some foreign car drivin' dude with the road rage attitude
Pulled up beside me talkin' on his cell phone
He started yelling at me like I did something wrong
He flipped me the bird an' then he was gone
Some beach
Somewhere
There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair
Palm trees are growin' and a warm breezes a blowing
I picture myself right there
On Some beach, somewhere
I circled the parkin' lot, tryin' to find a spot
Just big enough I could park my old truck
A man with a big cigar was getting into his car
I stopped and I waited for him to back up
From out of no where a Mercedes Benz
Came cruisin' up and whipped right in
Some beach
Somewhere
There's no where to go when you got all day to get there
There's cold margaritas and hot Senoritas smiling with long dark hair
On some beach
Somewhere
I sat in that waiting room
It seemed like all afternoon
The nurse finally said doc's ready for you
you're not gonna feel a thing we'll give you some novicane
That tooth will be fine in a minute or two
But he stuck that needle down deep in my gum
And he started drillin' before I was numb
Some beach
Somewhere
There's a beautiful sunset burning up the atsmosphere
There's music and dancing and lovers romancing
In the salty evening air
On some beach
Somewhere
On some beach, somewhere
I am quite envious of the people back east getting to enjoy the snow.
_________________________
dude..you can have this snow we have..Over 12"....snow is ok for a day or two then as far as I'm concerned it can warm back up in the 60's -80's...
stupid people in the south can't drive in it...for sure..
People cant drive very well out here either when it snows.
Beavers
Cougars - Arrgh!
I'm talking football.
Oh well, there is the Rose Bowl hopes.
And I can still root for the Crimson Tide in the national championship.
Kerry,
I'm glad I'm caught up w/you. How did the toilet work out?
As for the X in Hawaii, I would have ripped her a new one too. However, I did wonder if ED had croaked when he wouldn't answer his phone.
The Pac-10 is trying to rebound w/USC tonight, but OSU and Cal didn't fare too well.
I'm on board w/your dating insticts as well. A first date kiss has to be there for both parties and not forced. I've also had a few one-and-dones because although the ladies were "nice" there was something missing. So, didn't really want to pursue it further and won't.
I hope you enjoyed your Christmas, my friend.
Talk to you later.
RTL
Hi Rob,
The wax seal was not the problem, but I changed it anyway. It was leaky rubber gaskets where the tank connects. I ended up doing a replace of all the guts of the tank. Modern technology seems to have done away with the float ball on the arm and the refill seems quieter.
The kids and I went to see "The Frog and the Princess" on Christmas day. It was good. XW and Ed were at the same theater watching Sherlock Holmes - she said it was not good.
I wont have the kids next weekend which means I can give my full attention to the Rose Bowl. And there is always that possibility of a date or two.
Kerry,
Just popping in to say I hope you had a Merry Christmas....and I hope the new year brings you dates with wonderful women and more memorable experiences with your kids. You are definitely one of the good guys...
I'll look to take D to "the Princess and the Frog" this weekend. We've talked about it, so I know she'll want to go.
Glad Christmas went well. I've got my D next weekend, so New Years will be a bit different for me.
RTL
You are definitely one of the good guys...
I'll second that!!!
Hapy New Year Kerry!!
(stop checking out men's profiles, people will think you've switched-LOL)
love
K
Thanks girls.
BTW... I only checked out Rob's profile. No way this guy is ever switching.
Things are going very well between XW and myself on the coparenting front. I had to drop the kids off with Ed this morning (XW was picking people up at airport). I stepped inside briefly to deliver things for the kids and noticed they now have a most spectacular cascading creek/tropical garden with banana trees in the foyer. Weird. Were the Beatles wrong when they wrote the song "Can't Buy Me Love"? I've got images of the final scene of scarface in my head now this morning.
There were presents for me from XW on behalf of the kids.
I've got images of the final scene of scarface in my head now this morning.
'say hello to my little friend"
Hey Kerry, I could use a favor if you have a sec...
Given my lack of technical prowess...can you teach me how to insert all my threads as links in my sig line?
I'll be starting a new thread next week, and as you know, I'm a little busy over here.
It's a low priority actually, just something I've wanted to do for a while.
I'm off for a pedicure...something I'm very good at! Peace.
Click the "My Stuff" pull down and select "Edit Profile". Add the following to the Signature:
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It will make every post you do have the following at the end:
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Kerry,
The foyer is quite extravagant for sure. Scarface is a interesting visual, for sure. It would be nice at times to unload a machine gun on someone.
As for the gifts, D wanted to buy gifts for X and her new fiancee, so I allowed her to do so. She bought X an inexpensive $7 pair of earrings and a necklace and got the guy a pack of pens so he could correct papers. In fact, we spent more on the gift for the dog than the two of them, so I wasn't too bothered by it all.
RTL
Tony Montana could take the bullets, but not that of the double barrel shotgun blast into the back.
I gave XW 4 pieces of the spicy burger jerky that I made.
Christmas Jerky! I love it!!!
I always tried to make sure that Matthew got his mother a gift for Xmas and her B-Day...just to teach Matthew the art of giving...and I do the same with Caleigh...I can only imagine what it would be like for a child to want to get a parent a gift and not be able to do so just because their parents are pissed because of a divorce..
Yeah, I probably should have taken the kids xmas shopping, but they got back from Maui without enough time. I do let them buy their mom gifts when they ask me as we did during our Thanksgiving trip to Canada. The hardest part was letting them buy a gift for old man Ed, who they now call daddy.
ouch...daddy???
For the record D9 did not ask ...so I did not buy anything...for mommy or ....whoever (by the way I don't want to start a war here and I know you are laid back ...however, there is no effen way D9 will call anybody daddy but me and maybe her father in law ....one day)
I dont think there is anything I can do in regards to the "2nd daddy" that my daughter says. I am not sure my son says that. He does call me Eddy sometimes after I have picked them up. They do know that I dont care for that.
My plan has just been to not try to force my opinion of their mother and Ed on them and let them come to their own conclusions over time.
In other news, S9 was reading the Guiness book of records and asked me what the word "Virgin" means. I told him it is not something we need to talk about now. That of course was not good enough for him and he insisted I tell him. My answer..."Ask your mother" and I quickly changed the subject. Anyone else know how to answer that one without going into much detail? Could I just say it is a person that has not ridden a bicycle?
I am meeting a new lady on Sunday for coffee while S9 is at Chinese class. She is a lawyer (for some kid centric organization), likes to hike and travel, has an S9 and D7 (just like me) and her STBXH cheated. She looks pretty cheerful and classy in her pictures. Maybe I will show her the Chinese school as she said her daughter is interested in learning Chinese.
Hey Kerry..
I would answer my kid's question with age appropriate answers, treating it matter of factly. No big deal, just a simple response. They're going to learn it, might as well be from you so you can make sure they have the correct understanding. It was pretty embarrassing to find out my 'china' was really a vagina, that 'administration' was menstruation.
What's a virgin? A woman who hasn't had sex/made love/ etc. I remember while reviewing the 10 Commandments in CCD, the kids asked me what adultery was. They were probably in fourth or fifth grade. That was fun. "Imagine a Mr. Smith wanting to that 'married stuff' with someone other than Mrs. Smith." I made an icky face and the kids said.. Ewwwww. Little did I know!
Enjoy the date..
*hugs*
Got a neat compliment. Was called the 'voice of reason'. Made me feel good to be to look at the big picture when the little picture was full of static. Like I've learned and can apply stuff.
*hugs*
You know, you can have the admin change your handle name from Gypsy to "The_Voice_of_Reason". Jeff (Virtually_Handsome) had his name changed from Dry_Heat.
As a single mom I had to teach my two boys how to pee standing up and, one morning that has been blazed in my memory...to tell my tearful little guy that his peewee wasn't going to be stuck up like that forever and he just needed to stop touching it
parents have to be ready to answer those questions without too much fanfair or embarassment...otherwise they will learn not to ask and I certainly don't want my boys learning the facts of life in the locker room in middle school or the playground in elementary school
a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex
sex is something two people do who are in love
in love is a wonderful feeling you get like when you really really like something
yes you can have a Christmas cookie before lunch
You could have answered your boy like in the cialis ad...
"An erection that lasts over 4 hours should be reported to a physician, right away. "
Thanks for the sex talk tips figgy. I do need to consider some age appropriate answers. Good lord, I definitely am not prepared for "dad, what is a vibrator?"
It's a plactic thingy that shakes or quivers(you pick since it is based on the speed). You know kids don't put that much thought into it. They just have a question. Sure it may lead to another but usually ends there.
My parents were great with me and the "sex" talk. Mom spent a couple hours one Saturday explaining everything. Next weekend, Dad gave me his take and then the 3rd Saturday they both sat with me to see if I had questions or to cover anything they forgot. What words did they say...beats me I was a kid. But I do remember that they cared enough to get me the facts before I was old enough to know all about it from my friends.
Oh I forgot to mention, I had just turned 10.
blessings, kat
I suppose the boy is getting to that age to learn about the rooster, the hen and the eggs. Especially considering that XW got both kids their own cell phones for Christmas. I did not have my first cell phone until I was 40!
the big key is to answer any questions as plainly as possible.
kids don't get analogies and euphamisms
just the facts ma'am
and remember to answer the actual question
My son asked me what we were doing in the bedroom that made so much noise and I thought back to the night before and went into a national geo answer
he then said
oh
I thought you were hanging a picture up just now
(head slap)
Hey kerry,
When I was a kid, I "found" a book on the coffee table - one of those Time/Life books called "How Babies Are Made" that was illustrated with all these paper cut-out illustrations of dogs and chickens and people. It felt really illicit when I found it and I used to look at it and try to figure things out.
LOL - 15 years later I finally realized my parents "planted" it so that I could answer my own questions and they didn't have to have the talk! All that time I'd thought it was a book that had been carelessly left out.
Gee, I wonder if
it's on-line somewhere.
lodo
Ok. Just the facts (but with out all the illicit details).
Thanks Lodo - that is an awesome book. For the longest time, I thought the rooster humped the egg just like salmon. And why do chickens have breasts but no nipples? All kidding aside, I will be seeking that one out.
So I picked up my son at his mom's tonight after dealing with terrible traffic because of snow that hit right at rush hour. I am taking him with the cub scouts to the horse track tomorrow for a flag ceremony and tour/watching of races (no betting for the scouts). On the slow drive home, I asked who's SUV was parked at his mom's place and he said it was one of Ed's son's. I asked him if that was Ed's youngest son and he responded by saying the he (S9) was now Ed's youngest son. I then asked him if he calls Ed "dad" and he said that his mom has told him to call Ed that now and S9 thinks it is weird to do.
Does anyone think I should bring this to the attention of my XW? Should I phrase it using reverse logic..."Do you think it appropriate that if and when I get remarried that it is ok that the kids call my new wife 'mom' or 'mommy'?"
It just seem bizarre to me as my parents never insisted I call my step parents by anything but their first name. Maybe it is a Thai culture thing. I do remember that the children of friends of my XW would call me uncle Kerry - even her friend who is almost my age calls me uncle Kerry still.
I am not going to let it bother me and just not bring it up with XW. My kids will just call him Eddie when they are with me. They know the whole situation and that I am their real dad.
Don't be surprised if OM believes your kids are actually HIS kids because your wife is now actually HIS wife! That's might explain what you son is saying. All this strikes me as not just bizarre but actually very SICK! That's why I sent you that song "Shame and Scandal in the Family" ... Woe is me ... your daddy ain't your daddy but your mamma don't know.
<<Does anyone think I should bring this to the attention of my XW? Should I phrase it using reverse logic>>
you phrase it whichever way you like....I think you should bring it up if you are not comfortable. I guarantee you that I would and there would be no reverse anything about it!
My son was at my office this morning reading a "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" book I got him for Christmas. There was a picture of a guy with bull testicles in his mouth (for a relay). So my son asked me what testicles are and I told him. I did leave out the part about my knowing a guy in Alaska who has his wife carry his testicles in her purse.
Why does the image of jingling balls dance in my head?
oh Kerry...
Your knowledge of Alaskan things is vast!
You mean snowballs, right?
Hi Kerry, Happy New Year. I'll try to pray for sunshine this time.
p.s. Ignore the Eddie thing. You're better than that. Besides, doesn't he have one foot in the grave?
oh Kerry...
Your knowledge of Alaskan things is vast!
Not nearly as vast as that pirate/zombie killer who lives in Alaska.
I got the book Lodo mentioned from the library. It is awesome! I also picked up another one called
"It's Not the Stork" that is also very enlightening.
Now the kids will finally understand why there is only one feral rabbit that hangs around our house and why there are so many darn chickens on Kauai.
Ummm, Kerry??? Can I have a word with you? Over here, in the corner, where I can yell and scream and we can pretend that people aren't actually staring and wondering if they should call the cops.
Truth, I can sort of understand where you're coming from on the whole calling the new husband Dad, I mean, seriously what can you do? You can get into a war with the XW on whom the kids are going to obey on the issue, you can ask nicely or not so nicely that she refrain from that, and you can take them to court. None of which are terribly good choices, but I'm with John on this one, Thai culture or not, it's wrong wrong wrong and there is no way on God's beautiful green Earth that I wouldn't mention it.
So, God Bless You and have fun explaining why the rabbit had to die.
Dan
Good morning Kerry..I'm gonna put in my two cents on the daddy dearest thing...
there could be many reasons why they are calling him daddy..the biggest may be that the X is requiring them to call him that and that would make a small child feel like they are in the middle I'm sure and that they have no choice...she may be doing that to
1. piss you off
2. due to some cultural thing
3. or she may be having them call him that as a respect type thing instead of calling him by his name...
..bottom line these two kids are smart..they are smart because their real dad teaches them real life type things...so they will always know who their real dad is..
you're a good dad Kerry..I can see it on your kids faces..I can see it in the pictures..
when it's all said and done the kids will call him what they want to...
4. they want to present themselves in public as more of a complete family instead of just a sugar daddy and gold digger with kids.
Yes, they are perceptive. I remember an instance a few months ago at the bible school section of a church for Nyleen's girl scout meeting. Neil was reading the kid version of the ten commandments poster on the wall and mentioned that his mom had violated the "faithful spouse" law. One of the girl scout leaders jaw dropped.
4. they want to present themselves in public as more of a complete family instead of just a sugar daddy and gold digger with kids.
I knew I left one out...
I think it's sad...I think it's sad for the kids...IMHO..the kids should decide what they want to call him, and all should be satisfied with that...as long as what they call him is respectful...it's almost like recent discussions I've had about what a grandparent should be called...
my grandchild can call me what he/she wants...I don't have a preference..for a name...My former MIL informed all of us before Caleigh was born that Caleigh would call her MiMi...so..as soon as Caleigh was born that's what happened...
I never could refer to her as MiMi...I did call her a "bitch" one time..
...
like I said..they know who thee daddy is...he's a cool guy, who's funny as hell, who takes them on great adventures and teaches them, spends time with them and shows them what the real world is all about..
What is the deal with granmothers wanting to be called somethiong else then grandma? I guess they feel old when they are called granny....MIMI? my MIL was MAMI....I think I may have also been disrespectful once but she was drunk and abnoxious...and she deserved it.... :-) It may have been on new year's eve .... oh how I love to reminisce.
Sorry...I couldn't resist the MIL comments...
My step mom wants the kids to call her Nana.
Mike and John - the trick is to marry someone who has a mother that cant speak your language.
Yep...Kim's step mom was NaNa..her dad had to be GrandPa..her Mom had to Mimi..
I'm gonna be just whatever comes out of the childs mouth and I pray it's respectful..
Well, I don't want to sound disrespectful ... but this will probably come out wrong.
Uno, I am not (ie. never ever ever) getting married again.
secondo, my present girlfriend lost her mom at an early age and her dad lives in Portugal....so, no inlaws for me this holiday season.
John - What is your girlfriends thoughts on re-marriage?
I am curious...why do you say you will never ever ever get married again?
Her thoughts? I think she is of the same opinion as I am. Basically, I do not need a piece of paper to be committed. Today, it is just as easy to get divorced or to split up, therefore, why bother. Sorry, I am a little cynical. To be truthfull, D9 was the reason I got married. So she could have parents who were husband and wife in the eyes of the courts.
4. they want to present themselves in public as more of a complete family instead of just a sugar daddy and gold digger with kids.
Yes, they are perceptive. I remember an instance a few months ago at the bible school section of a church for Nyleen's girl scout meeting. Neil was reading the kid version of the ten commandments poster on the wall and mentioned that his mom had violated the "faithful spouse" law. One of the girl scout leaders jaw dropped.
Good thing the keyboard on my laptop already died. This is classic and as for my opinion, it's well known that I'm an insane maniac. Just ask the XW.
Happy New Year all, it's video games and cookies with the kiddos.
Dan
Dan - it is the lack of oxygen of living so high up in Colorado.
Happy New Year! Have fun with the kids.
Kerry,
I have to say that I'm in agreement that you need to let XW know it bothers you and that the kids have said they feel uncomfortable calling him that.
In the end, you'd prefer to allow the kids to refer to him in the way that works best for them, but you also know that is something you can't control.
However, she should be set straight that you aren't happy w/what she's doing.
Regardless, in the end, the kids will never forget who the "real" dad is, but you still need to get your point across to XW.
RTL
Hi Rob -
I am not going to bring it up. The Mike I work for and Mike in Tennessee both had the same advice - let it be. The kids know who their real dad is and eventually if it bugs them enough they will rebel.
Are you going to watch the Rose Bowl today?
So far the PAC 10 is 4 loses and 2 victories in bowl games.
GO DUCKS!
Kerry, after the game, can we chat in the alt? I have a really dumb techie question. For some reason, wireless is not working. Works with ether cable.
Plus a question re: Wa County.
Busy at 4:30. Available after 8:00 or so. Depending on how it goes. Oh, and if you get a sec, could you please pray for S16 (and Goldey) and the entire clan. Thx. GO DUCKS!
I will just quote Rasheed Wallace about the Rose bowl game...
Both teams played hard.
Sorry about the Ducks, Kerry.
I heard it was a good game, I was a little tied up with my sitch.
And thanks for the assist. Once again, you are a knight in shining armor.
Peace. Goldey
Happy New Year Kerry!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
K
PS Btw, you made, yet again, another wise decision.
I did leave out the part about my knowing a guy in Alaska who has his wife carry his testicles in her purse.
Are you saying they were detachable or made of rubber or plastic? Or maybe she used his underwear for a purse. You're sure it was 'testicles' and not 'spectacles'?
You guys are too funny.
I know what I'd like to do to my STBX's nuts.
Thanks for flying by my thread. I'm friends w/ Michele in the alt and sent her a note recently. Although my marriage was not saved, I am a better person for having found this group.
Another big day ahead. Better eat my Wheaties! Peace.
Fb2 - the Alaskan guy who said his wife had his testy's in her purse posts over in the MLC forum.
Goldey - You are up rather early today. Did you get any sleep? I am wishing you luck today in finding a place to live. And hopefully one of the few DHS people with a brain will interview your daughter.
Hey Kerry..
I googled 'Alaska testicle purse'... interesting.. very interesting.
You're famous!
*hugs*
Kerry,
Intersestingly enough, my D and I had the "dad" conversation today. She had a drawing she'd made that said "Dad" on it and I asked if it was for me. She told me that it was for XW's new finacee and I have to admit it was hard to hide my disappointment.
She even asked "Are you upset?" To which I answered, that it is ok for to call XW's finacee "whatever she feels comfortable with calling him. However, there will never be anyone who will be her real "Daddy" but me. Call (name) whatever you want, Baby."
I may have been wrong, but it just came out.
So, I know where you are w/this. I really, really do.
RTL
Hi Rob -
I've seen the drawings with Ed, XW, myself and both kids in the picture.
Here is the advice the guy I work for gave me which is similar to M in Tennessee...
As disgusting and frustrating as the entire thing is, I would try extremely hard not to let the title bother you nor fight it. I would just try to get them to call him Ed around you so "you" don't get confused… even if you wouldn't. Your real title may feel a bit challenged today, but it won't be for long as they soon will be old enough for it to start bugging them all on their own. In the end, nothing will diminish your real role as their dad and thus to stay true to the title, you can't let what Ed is "titled" bother you... its simply not true and never will be.
Your XW is terrible.. what a nightmare... no mother should ever allow such a hurtful thing to happen.
I had a different kind of first meeting this afternoon at a coffee shop - S9 was along. My plan was to drop him off at chinese school and walk nearby to the coffee shop for the meet up. Opps - school does not resume until next week. So I called her while she was on the way and let her know the situation and she seemed ok with the junior chaperone hanging out at the table behind ours.
I was so proud of my son being patient while she and I chatted. He has no problem keeping himself occupied (I found some dominoes at the coffee shop). Plus, she tells me that her son is so very similar to mine in personality.
Hey Lodo, they boy zipped through the book you mentioned. The other one was more detailed and he read all of that too. He had no questions, although he did not seem all that enthusiastic to eat his eggs this morning.
Yes, this thing with the OM calling your kids "his" kids and worse the kids calling the OM "dad" is disgusting. But like a lot of what's reported here one has to learn to swallow the hurt because society has gotten sooo screwed up and we can't say anything to the kids that would make mom look bad as they are half mom and so may end up blaming themselves. The kids as a result don't clearly get right from wrong; I believe this sort of "popular psychology" thinking in itself is the most harmful for them. You or the "authorities" are not supposed to tell hour kids - listen what your Mom did and continues to do is hurtful and not right, you must keep your promises and not lie or cheat others and cause all this emotional and financial damage. For all we know the judge in court could have cheated on his wife or been married 4 times. So instead we "live and let live" and have "no-fault D" going from one husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend to the next. And "sanctity of marriage" pretty much means "marriage between one woman and one man at a time" instead of "marriage for life between one man and one woman who strive to love and cherish each other". Whatever happened to "adultery" and counseling to save marriages? Instead I see men beating themselves up while their WAWs are openly screwing around and women DBing their a$$ off while their H is secretly cheating on them. And then we have all the "conflict", "emotional abuse", etc.
What's my solution? I think a man caught cheating should give his wife the right to carry his testicles in her purse and a woman caught cheating should be made to walk naked thru' the town square with a capital A tattooed permanently on her forehead. And every married couple should renew their marriage license every 3 years with testing, counseling and refresher courses in conflict management, romance, child rearing, in-law studies, etc. Sounds bizarre but I bet this way there would probably be less need to DB!
Hey fb2..
I agree with the 'touch up/renewed' marriage counseling. After all the pressure points change over time with the addition of children, aging parents, job stresses, growth or lack of growth over time. Although couples retreats are available, most people figure they don't need them or unwilling to air their dirty laundry.
What is needed is a massive campaign to change people's opinion of how to nurture a longterm relationship.. like MADD (which started with one mother of a child killed by a drunken driver) or some celebrity living the endorsement.. like Katie Couric heightening awareness of colonoscopies because of her husband's untimely death due to colon cancer.
Changes in perceptions make something that was abhorrent or easy to dismiss routine, expected, grudgingly accepted, even embraced. In the end couples, individuals would feel good, not stupid or embarrassed to repoint the foundation.
Oh yes... I never knew that carrying an male appendage that's not visible unless in Speedos concealed in a purse could be as mortifying and gut wrenchingly embarrassing as a woman (whose weight is sacrosanct much less how much their boobies flop in the breeze) walking naked and unprotected in public with a tattoo on her forehead.
I guess that's why frontal male nudity is such a taboo. On the upside, the woman would only have to carry a small clutch.
*hugs*
I think I am with fb2 on this one. I too look at the "pop-psy" advice we get today and while I understand the basic motivation, I still wonder where you draw the line here. At what point does the behavior of the other parent become so harmful or outrageous that you have to call a spade a spade here even to your children? Larceny? Armed robbery? Murder? Serial Murder?
I know some of you will make the obligatory and tired argument that neither infidelity or D are on the same level as said capitol offenses. But you have to agree at some point one needs to draw the line or else you might as well admit to having no value system to live by and model for your children. There is a point where the elephant is in the room and no one can deny it, and thus defense of the other parent's reputation then takes a definite back seat to guiding your children towards valuing moral integrity.
Hey Kerry..
It's none of your business what the kids call the new spouse/significant other.
It's about what works for the kids who are struggling between having two households, two families.
When the former spouse scooted off into a committed relationship, I vowed to be as good a person coming out of the divorce as going in. I failed.. because I became a better person.
Putting my ego aside, I told my daughter once in the company of her friends (who brought up the subject) that if there was another family that was willing to open up their hearts to love and treasure her, have her best interests at heart then who am I to deny that opportunity?
When a divorce happens and a family is shredded there's more than enough hurt to go around. I'd hate to compound it by making the children feel they have to protect me. Granted, it takes time to get over the fear that you're being replaced. But you're the parent, you're the adult.
It's not about you, it's about the kids.
*hugs*
Hey No Code..
It's kinda like King Solomon and the baby who was claimed convincingly by two women. His decision to split the baby in half made one of the women renounce her claim to the child. And she was given the baby because only a mother would make that sacrifice, to ensure the child was whole and no longer hers rather than destroyed.
A divorce sucks.. but for many of us, it's the reality. It is what it is.
And as long as I carry blame in my heart, anger toward the former spouse the more the past controls my present.
It's a choice. Terrible things happen in life.. like Hurricane Katrina wiping out a city, Christmas tsunamis, plague, famine. But people pick up the pieces and continue in life. And that's the example I want to set for my children.
It's not the fall that defines the person, but how they get up.
*hugs*
It would be great if they had a mandatory relationship class in high school. And maybe for the text book...
Folks, great discussion. I missed it yesterday. I had living proof this weekend that kids grow up to be adults and that they see more and are more aware of right and wrong than we give them credit for. I think the key is to take the high road and remain true to yourself. I refuse to badmouth XW to her kids and or anybody else that knew her (ok the odd shot here and there)...but the kids pick up on who WE are and what we stand for. The "awful" actions of soem of the WASs need to be counteracted by some positive reinforcement on our parts or maybe the grandparenst aor aunts and uncles ect....
The only thing I can control is how I act around my daughter and my stepdaughters...XW is who she is.....kids notice....kids become adults....let's not underestimate them and above all let's show them by our actions. They will choose their role models.
Kerry.....bottom line the kids are gonna call the new guy/lady whatever they are told to call them...
Caleigh calls Michele by her name....
Caleigh calls Kim's boyfriend "Mr. Robin"....
Like I said..a name does not a daddy make....
Gyps, I get what you're saying here about about Solomon's test. But it doesn't really address my point. Yes, the question is whether to accept (or become party to) someone else taking on your role in your child's life, even if in name only. The original context for fb2's comment, to which I concurred, was that the very idea that we are advised to make concessions to the big D for the sake of our kids can reach a point where it becomes ridiculous. In fact, the very notion that modern society asks us to become unwilling enablers to the so-called "realities" of D is outrageous. Why is it expected, in this particular case, that a biological parent has to turn a blind eye to effectively being replaced with someone else -- or if not outright replaced but to water down their role? There has to be a balancing point between seeking peace for the sake of your children but not being seen as an enabler to the ridiculous world we live in.
And for the record, yes, words do mean things, or why else use them?
I think instead of using the story of Solomon as your guide, I think you're better off in this case looking at Stephen King's story/screenplay, Storm of the Century. What I hear the waywards saying is, like the character Linoge, "Give me what I want and I'll go away."
Legal consequences for infidelity sounds great. I do think that castration, public nudity humiliation,
islamic stoning or
islamic hanging may be too extreme. Plus, infidelity consequences need to be treated equal for men and women. Financial disadvantage would probably be more fitting. My mother did voluntary financial (from her guilt/shame) by not taking anything but her car from my father. I think mandatory financial consequences should be the law.
One bitter point for me was having to buy out my XW for alimony to the tune of $40 G. It seemed like I was being punished and she was being rewarded.
Agreed Kerry, there should be some BIG financial penalty for infidelity; at any rate at least no reward and a good deal of social stigma otherwise this thing perpetuates itself; these cheaters have gotten so shameless as a result of "no-fault" D. You should not have had to pay a dime, leave alone $40k. And if you ask me getting the kids to accept this is a form of "child abuse". I've heard the mantra of "stay the high road the kids are not fools they'll ultimately get it" - yes, the high road is necessary but I do not believe it is sufficient and not all kids will "get it" when they grow up - a good majority will repeat history. I went to court and somehow forced OM the second in my case to sign an agreement that he would not come near me or my kids or call/e-mail/text them when they are with me as I was getting the creeps. He had the audacity to call my kids "his kids too" even in court.
Hey fb2 -
I am sure that just like me, you also are uncertain as to how your kids views on marriage will develop as they get older. Will they be prone to divorce? Will they take their mothers values or mine.
Hopefully, much of their opinions will be influenced by us fathers, who have taken the high moral road, but I believe that much will come also from their peers. I am not too worried about my son as I got a good feel for his character and I know he understands much of what transpired. I am concerned most now for my daughter who thinks it cool to now have 2 daddy's along with the riches her mom is now reaping by marrying a richer guy.
But I cant dwell on that too much since there is much I cant control or foresee. I can only endeavor to continue maintaining stability, routineness, strictness, safety and a sense of adventure and happiness in their lives during the time they are in my care.
Did you get divorced yet?
Has your soon gotten started on his Pinewood derby? Mine has his cut and painted and hopefully should finish it this weekend as the race in Jan 24.
<<I've heard the mantra of "stay the high road the kids are not fools they'll ultimately get it" - yes, the high road is necessary but I do not believe it is sufficient and not all kids will "get it" when they grow up - a good majority will repeat history>>
FB2, I usually agree with what you write. I am having difficulty understanding the post above. What are you suggesting? Since the so called mantra is not sufficient.
I am not sure that I believe that history will repeat itself with the majority of our kids if (like Kerry said) we shwo them the other sidea and they have access to loving couples...perhaps grandparents etc. There are too may variables in life and in a relationship to predict our kid's futures.
Kerry, what color is the derby car? Oh, I miss the good times. Thanks for stopping by. I'll contact you when there is time. I'm resting today, after physical therapy. Maybe try to do a phone consult or two. Peace in 2010.
I am not sure that I believe that history will repeat itself with the majority of our kids if (like Kerry said) we shwo them the other sidea and they have access to loving couples...perhaps grandparents etc. There are too may variables in life and in a relationship to predict our kid's futures.
well if we believe stats then the stats say that if you are a child of divorce then there is a pretty high chance you will end up divorced...my mom and dad were married 54 years when my dad passed...I would think that the stats would have been on my side and my chances of staying married would have been high...problem is..both my ex-spouses were children of divorce..Michele came from a stable home..her mom and dad are still married...but she has been divorced 9 years.....
Mike,,,it has been my experience that you can make stats say whatever you want on a specific subject.
I will do what I can to surround D9 with love and some semblance of morality. So far so good (I think) but I am just one of the actors laying the foundation.
It pains me to think that my six year old daughter has grown up only knowing that mom and dad fight; mom calls the police on dad; dad and mom rotate bed/sofa; dads and moms do things separately.
I can only support what others have already said. Continue to show love to your kids. Continue to be a role model to your girls and show them all the love you can. They will pick a man based on who YOU are. Keep to the high road and never forget that words are like knives. Denigrating your ex is like stabbing them in the heart each time. We don't need to do that.
Now to Kerry and the PWD. we are doing a car called The Wing. It is a very thin wedge shaped car, thinner than last years. We are using tungsten weighting in small compartments chiseled out underneath the car and will use tungsten beads to adjust weight on the day of the race. Justin has chosen a Yankees theme, so, I ordered some decal paper to print out some Yankee stuff to decorate the car. Not sure if we will paint the car white (which will show dirt etc) or blue.
FIB
Tungsten? I take it that is heavier than lead. We bought the coin inserts to stick on the back of the car so as to add coins at race time to meet the exact weight. I just have a spring postal scale and use his prior cars to calibrate to 5 oz.
Kerry et al, I'm proud of the way all you guys and holding up!!! Most guys would have hit the road or the bottle by now. My D is in the final stages and I'm battle weary now tho' it seems like an endless war against the "axis of evil". My S9 and I quit Cub Scouts because he was missing more than half the activities as mom believes the Scouts is an organization for "sexual abuse" - what a shame - we won the PW Derby last year and used quarters for weights - what a thrill that was for us. In my case I worry more about my D13 absorbing mom's rotten values.
My XW shows little interest in her own participation in the cub scouts or girl scouts. But she is willing to make concessions for the kids to do events that occur on her time. Usually it allows me to have some additional one on one time with each child.
Fb2, I hope your battle ends soon. Once the legal stuff it over, it will be a big weight off your shoulders.
That goes for you too Frank. Both you and FLTC are in very difficult situations with Borg-like women intent on causing as much destruction and damage as is possible.
hey kerry,
by showing your boy the book, you do realize that you've affected him for life, right? I mean, I saw it once probably 35 years ago and I still remember that hen.
Hey Lodo -
I just found out yesterday that a Capon is a castrated rooster (special internal operation called caponization). Apparently their meat is better than a hen. I wonder if that shuts up their crowing. I know it would make me shut up around the person that did such a thing to me.
Will the last person out of the building tonight please lock this thread. It has exceeded the max number of posts.
Kerry, I'd lock it, if I knew how. As you know, technology is not my finest talent. Speaking of which, know a nearby geek? My new laptop is giving me a little trouble. I'll be in your area today, trouble w/ S16, nothing too major. Cell's on.
Kerry,
My X is resisting letting D6 get involved w/any activities, so I'm going to have to find things we can do together on Thursdays as that is the only guaranteed day I have her.
RTL
Hi Rob -
Have you thought of ballet or tap dance. Skating? Swimming lessons?
I think I'm looking into dance of some sort, although she has said she's interested in Karate because she wants to be a superhero when she grows up and all the superheroes know karate. I've also looked at the possibility of piano lessons, but not sure how "into" piano D is right now.
Thus, it is on my list of things to do once the basketball season ends in Februrary.
RTL
I feel sorry for all that the men are going thru here. My atty ( a woman) says that the women know how to play this game better than we do and that most men give up at some point (or give out?)
My STBXW has become a 'no' person. Last week she called the police on me because I refused to take my son home, by her demand, from a sleepover playdate that he and I arranged ON MY DAY WITH HIM. He slept over in spite of dropping my daughter off with a squad car in my driveway. That was a boundary I could not let be abused.
If there is an issue with activities, you can't beat doing arts and crafts with them until it's over. I play games with D6. Last night, D6 made me a drawing saying that "I have her heart". I held her for more than a few minutes, told her I love her, and told her how she filled my bucket.
EDITED - ADVERTISING is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.fb2...keep going. I am weary too. I am beaten down, confused, tired, emotionally exhausted. Somedays, it is hard to not second guess the type of man I am when the abusive accusations are hurled at me almost on a daily basis. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. It is your obligation to your kids as a man. Keep going fb2...keep going.
To Kerry....last year I used lead, drilled into the back of the car. I think the tungsten is just another sales technique for us dad's who do PWD. LOLOL.
FIB
or stand up and stop taking chitt from them....
document every frinkin word those women say..document every action they take against you..
what you do with your child on your visitation(as long as it's not illegal or immoral or does not put the child in danger) is NONE of your ex's business and you and your attorney need to make sure that that is made perfectly clear..
if an ex is being a bitch..then I say be a bigger bitch...
A lot to be said for that, Mike.
Goodness knows I cowered.
Listening to some of these stories, I'm extraordinarily glad that my XW is not insane and we have a very good relationship still. Occasionally there are things that piss me off, but I figure that being generous with my money and my time if it keeps me out of court and keeps her happy is a good thing.
Dan
A lot to be said for that, Mike.
Goodness knows I cowered.
sooner or later you have to stand up for yourself..I had to deal with insane crap from matthew's mother for 8 years...8 years of having him withheld from me...8 years of having the law called...8 years of him having to see his mom do stupid stuff and me not having the means or gumption to do anyhting about it...
this time around..I take no crap...either it''s fair or I'll bankrupt my ass and her ass taking her back to court...
sometimes you have to make/take a stand...
If I have one piece of good advice to give...it's don't take their crap..if you are being fair and equitable then demand the same from them...
this time around..I take no crap...either it''s fair or I'll bankrupt my ass and her ass taking her back to court...
sometimes you have to make/take a stand...
If I have one piece of good advice to give...it's don't take their crap..if you are being fair and equitable then demand the same from them...
thanks.. I needed to hear that today (even though it wasn't meant for me! )
Peace
Bridge
Ventrans of D wars have told me that after many police calls and court appearences these women show a pattern of craziness and loose credibility with the system which is messed up in itself. I used to try to tone down and diffuse these attacks but somtimes they cross the line.
Hopefully this pattern will be of benefit for faithisbelieving in his final stages of his divorce in NY. His STBXW is the poster child for batchit crazy.
Kerry,
fb2 ONLY visits your thread. At least we know he is alive and well. (Hi fb2!!) John will name his dog Kerry and some other men are contemplating dating Asian women to find out the secret...
K
Still on the journey for the secret...
I met up with a new lady last night who contacted me. Philippines this time. I feel like I am playing "Risk". I will roll for Kamchatka next so as to complete my conquest of Asia - then watch out Euorpe!
That was too funny, Kerry. Man I used to love playing Risk!!
Kerry,
fb2 ONLY visits your thread. At least we know he is alive and well. (Hi fb2!!) John will name his dog Kerry and some other men are contemplating dating Asian women to find out the secret...
K
Hi K, I visit your thread too from time to time and if I see anything new on H or have something helpful I'll surely drop you a line. I've been far too busy to say much tho'. But I like the idea of Kerry's scratch pad - he's kind of the goto person here and a "ladies' man" on top of that - just joking on that last *scratch* Kerry!
Funny one on that "ladies man" fb2.
BTW... I'm meeting a nice lady tomorrow for lunch, but it is not a date date and I dont know what continent of origin she is. I am hoping somewhere interesting like Antarctica. She'll probably read this so I will keep my mouth shut.
not a date date??? She'll probably read this??? hmm.... riddle me this batman.....
hmmmm very interesting....
Some very sad news...
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Kerry,
Great. Just great.
AND winner of today's much-coveted
Belly-Laugh of the Day Award!!! 
Scratching that pad I guess.
Kevin
Well Kerry, I'm loving this chair. See you later, 'gator.
I'm off for a fun evening with friends, maybe I can find you a date for Saturday night. Goldey
Kerry, thanks for the assist earlier today.
Sooo, what happened with the secret date?
K
Secret date seems nice. We are emailing still. She is a paralegal and has worked for a divorce attorney before. She has no apparent baggage and is fit.
Thanks Kerry, for the help with the sig line, plus everything else. Honored to know you.
Is this the coffee girl from last week?
Glad to hear it, you deserve nothing but the best. Does she golf?
It is the lady I met for coffee. She does not golf. I am still working the female buffet line when time permits. Next 5 days is with my kids.
Dude, hate to bug you again, but I have a new thread, and wondered if you could do me another favor and hook 'em all up again? (Maybe someday you could show me how to do this for myself, but right now I kinda have my hands full over here with my life and everything).
Saw the Pinewood Car in the alt. Cool!
Kerry,
Please go visit Gypsy.
Hey, Kerry!
Glad to catch up and see that things seem to be quite well in the greater Portland area!!
RTL
The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle; It is impossible to determine simultaneously both the position and velocity of an electron or any other particle with any great degree of accuracy or certainty........ the cause of the elusive electon cloud....who would have guessed it would be mentioned in the same breath as a clogged shi&&er! I always knew my chemistry major would come in handy!!!!!
You are a funny man Colonel! I was thinking of you tonight at the gym as I was looking around for half century old "gym ladies".
Kerry,
I was thinking of you tonight at the gym as I was looking around for half century old "gym ladies".
I was doing the same thing at the gym this morning, but, jeez, do you have to word it like
that?
As you gents probably know, when you're truly NOT looking, it will probably fall in your lap....literally!
Here's my story:
I knew the woman that I am seeing in another life. Her daughters are the same ages as my daughters, and they actually went to school together, and we were at a lot of social functions together. She and I would talk years ago and always seemed to enjoy being with each other, but being married to other people, well...you know.........
I believe there are a number of people that we can each have great relationships with.
In 2000, her husband (who I actually like!) blind-sided her and asked her for a divorce. She found out through his cell phone records he was using his secretary for an "exercise partner".
When I went to Iraq in 2007, I had a lot of time with no alcohol, to truly be reflective and rent space in my own head. I really came to the conclusion that my wife was actually doing me a favor by asking for a divorce. The fact that she was scr$wing her 62 year old married boss made it even easier for me. I thought about my failings as a partner and what I might do differently the next time out.
I actually thought about "Gym Woman", and wondered what she was doing. In fact, I thought about her a lot, but thought looking her up or trying to find her might be a little creepy, so I put that thought in cold storage. Little did I know that she had sold her house, and had moved back to the town near where I was two months before I came home.
I arrived back home in June, 2008. I always have been a Gym Rat, even when you couldn't find a "gym" except the basement of the local YMCA. The old phrase in Iraq was "you can come home weighing 300 pounds (great food there!) or benching 300 pounds. I did a little of both! First thing I did was to join a local commercial gym.
I went there about 5 days a week from June through October. I didn't really realize how much Iraq affected me. I wasn't kicking down doors, but I had lived in a 100 mile/hour, full-out adrenaline environment for a full year. Being in the gym was a great release, because civilian life was now like "drinking flat club soda".
Mid October 2008. I was sitting on a bench in the gym and I looked up and THERE SHE WAS! She looked great! She immediately seemed very glad to see me. She said "I read about you in the paper, and I didn't know you were home! I also heard about you and STBXW and I'm really sorry".
I usually miss these things, but it was obvious even to me that this was going to go somewhere. We talked for about an hour. After two more "chance meetings" (She told me she went to the gym at the same time that we met so she could run into me. She told me that she had heard that STBX was "with" her boss when I was in Iraq, knew she wanted a divorce, and thought to herself...hmmmmm?)
I asked her out, she immediately accepted and it has been great ever since.
I never looked for it. It just came my way. It was like the book "The Secret" that is such a hit. I thought positive thoughts, and I drew positive reactions. (Creepy, right?)
It will come your way again, gents. When you least expect it. Stay positive. No one could have been more in a hole that I was in October 2006. I wish you could see my posts from April 2006, and you would never believe I am the same guy.
I guess it's easy for me to say this, but usually, I'm NEVER in this type of position.
Wow. She did indeed fall in your lap.
I suppose that I am on a similar path. A date here and there but I am not pursuing. Just taking my time. I've chatted with one nice petite lady for the last 6 months or more. Just yesterday she mentioned that I dont follow through with my dates and I am too picky. She says that women like a guy to take them to dinner. Maybe she is giving subtle hints about herself. I do like that she has a similar attitude about just taking things slow and learning friendship first.
Hey Kerry,
You can't please all of the people all of the time. I will also add (another cliche fro teh benfit of those in the dating arena); just be yourself. If the other person finds that acceptable or pallatable or God forbid think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread (actually I rarely eat sliced bread), wonderful. Otherwise, move on.
Hey Kerry,
You can't please all of the people all of the time. I will also add (another cliche fro teh benfit of those in the dating arena); just be yourself. If the other person finds that acceptable or pallatable or God forbid think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread (actually I rarely eat sliced bread), wonderful. Otherwise, move on.
This is so true! I talked on the phone with AG (Army guy) Wednesday night for an hour. At the end of the convo he said, "That was fun. I can tell you are real." I asked what he meant and he said a lot of women he had talked to seemed to be trying to impress or to be something they weren't but he could tell I was genuine...
Guess what? Life is too short for me to be anyone other than me...
So Kerry have you and the petite lady been on dates? I am thinking she wants you to take her to dinner...
So Kerry have you and the petite lady been on dates? I am thinking she wants you to take her to dinner...
I mention it to her once in a while and she says it would be nice, but neither of us follow through. We have done a couple lunch's during the work week but that was quite a while back. I may ask if she wants to go hiking followed with a meal next week. She has a mixed asian daughter (16) just like my kids. I do like that she is very independent, but also she is busy with work, her rentals and her new dog.
FLTC...I heard that our sitch's have a lot in common. As per your post, I agree. Good things happen to those that wait. I see sunshine.
FIB
kerryK...thanks for hangin' in there for this old DB'er....FIB
I want to remind everyone (where it is done) to set their clocks ahead one hour this Sunday morning.
I had a fabulous golf lesson last night with my new clubs. I beat my instructor in the trackman closest to hole game. I got within 3 feet for a 110 yard hole using my 50 degree gap. I had quite a few other shots at the same hole that were within 15 feet.
Young divorced dad who lives half the time with a wonderful son (9) and daughter (7).
I might have to steal this soon except for the young part. LOLOL. FIB
Dude, you do realize that I am going to be 50 in 3 months.
Your age of 51 is still young.
Kerry you are a stud!!! 110 yard gap wedge, you are a beginner and will be on the senior tour. That lady friend better buckle up...she is in fro a ride.
So.....how did it go? Inquiring minds want to know!
She is nice. Youthful looking like myself. I am sure we will meet again. She says that many of the guys my age look very old. I am only a month older than her. Her grandaughter is 1 year younger than my daughter.
Tickets go on sale tomorrow for Portland Winterhawks playoffs. that start next weekend in Portland. We play the Spokane Chiefs. Their goalie has a habit to skate over to the right corner when there is idle time. I hope to get a good corner seat so as to heckle him like the fans in front did last time (Reid! You Suck!) This junior league hockey is fun to attend.
Trial time Kerry..wish me luck. FIB
"Reid you suck"??? Surely you can do better than that Kerry!
Glad you had a good time with Kerryette...hope things progress nicely for you and you get a nice bday present from her!!!!
My mind is in the gutter again...
The kids just want to pound on the glass when Reid skates over.
They thought it was pretty funny watching the group in front of us beating on the glass whenever there was a tie up in the corner.
sqqqeaaakkkkkkkk Say what?