Looking for some support - WAW and MLC - 04/29/19 08:54 PM
Hello all,
This is my first post here. In January, I heard the ILYBIANILWY from my wife. I have been distraught and feeling hopeless ever since. I cry almost every day, and I am having trouble thinking about anything other than saving my marriage. I have just bought The Divorce Remedy and I am 58 pages into it. I will read the whole thing over the next day or two.
My wife and I have been married for over 21 years, and we have three children (16), (14) and (6). I have given everything I have to this family and now a facing complete and utter ruin to everything that is important to me. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be facing a divorce. I despise divorce. I adore my wife and my three children.
I think that my wife is both a walkaway wife and experiencing a MLC. Over the last three years she has become obsessive about her relationship with our daughter (16). My wife has had a very bad relationship with her own mother (a narcissist) who always invalidated my wife's feelings. Now my wife is talking as if I am her mother.
Since we started marriage counseling in February, I keep thinking I am fixing our relationship, but then I am shocked to learn at our counseling sessions that she is in no better place. I am a good provider, good father and I always thought a pretty good husband. I know that my wife and I both hate conflict, so that has problem swept a lot of problems under the rugs.
So, I am hoping that you guys can help me to save my marriage. I am terrible with getting my own life. I work long hours and always felt guilty not spending time with the kids and my wife after work. Now I am feeling depressed and don't want to leave the house. I also like the love I get from my kids when I am at home so that is making my GAL even harder. So, I need help in being able to do this.
I also need help in detaching. This completely goes against my personality. I have never had someone stop loving me before. I get along with just about everyone, and I can't stand that my wife doesn't love me any more. I am crushed. And I just want to win her back so bad. I know this is everything not to do in DB.
So this is the beginning of my long journey on this board. Please pray for my wife to open her heart to me and to give me the wisdom, strength and patience that is necessary to save my marriage. I would love for your support and guidance as well.
This is my first post here. In January, I heard the ILYBIANILWY from my wife. I have been distraught and feeling hopeless ever since. I cry almost every day, and I am having trouble thinking about anything other than saving my marriage. I have just bought The Divorce Remedy and I am 58 pages into it. I will read the whole thing over the next day or two.
My wife and I have been married for over 21 years, and we have three children (16), (14) and (6). I have given everything I have to this family and now a facing complete and utter ruin to everything that is important to me. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be facing a divorce. I despise divorce. I adore my wife and my three children.
I think that my wife is both a walkaway wife and experiencing a MLC. Over the last three years she has become obsessive about her relationship with our daughter (16). My wife has had a very bad relationship with her own mother (a narcissist) who always invalidated my wife's feelings. Now my wife is talking as if I am her mother.
Since we started marriage counseling in February, I keep thinking I am fixing our relationship, but then I am shocked to learn at our counseling sessions that she is in no better place. I am a good provider, good father and I always thought a pretty good husband. I know that my wife and I both hate conflict, so that has problem swept a lot of problems under the rugs.
So, I am hoping that you guys can help me to save my marriage. I am terrible with getting my own life. I work long hours and always felt guilty not spending time with the kids and my wife after work. Now I am feeling depressed and don't want to leave the house. I also like the love I get from my kids when I am at home so that is making my GAL even harder. So, I need help in being able to do this.
I also need help in detaching. This completely goes against my personality. I have never had someone stop loving me before. I get along with just about everyone, and I can't stand that my wife doesn't love me any more. I am crushed. And I just want to win her back so bad. I know this is everything not to do in DB.
So this is the beginning of my long journey on this board. Please pray for my wife to open her heart to me and to give me the wisdom, strength and patience that is necessary to save my marriage. I would love for your support and guidance as well.