My other thread was quite long so I figured I would begin a new one.
H's mother passed away yesterday morning.
He is not doing very well at all according to the kids, and he appears to be seeking comfort in the kids, calling each child at least twice yesterday and talking all day and into the early evening.
My FIL called me and we talked for awhile and then he asked for H's cell # which I gave him. According to the kids, his dad asked him what he was going to do with his life (response was he did not know), and my FIL asked him if he felt he needed mental illness help and H said no.
H even called me yesterday and we spoke for a few minutes and of course it was focused on his mom.
Other than that, I got laid off on Thursday, found out on Friday that the trial modification is null and void if I do not come up with $5800 to suspend the auction which is to occur tomorrow. Of course I do not have that kind of money and it does nothing except suspend it. We'll probably just have to move into an apt. for now.
I am doing okay....
My condolences on the passing of your MIL. Your h will have great difficulty getting it together to attend the funeral. He's been living in la la land a long time and now reality has hit home w/the passing of his mother. I do hope that he and his father can talk at some point.
I'm also sorry to read about your job and your home. You've had far more than your fair share of hardship over the years. I do hope that things will turn around for you very soon. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
He is not going to the funeral as it is back east. It is interesting to watch how he is communicating with the kids.
Thanks for your prayers.
I hope that he doesn't bring the children down into the dark pit with him. Does he have any siblings?
Actually, all of the kids have been telling me for a long time now that since he stopped drinking last summer, he sounds better and better and his thinking is not warped.
He has long talks with them about the Bible, school......they seem to be enjoying the conversations they have had with their dad.
He does have siblings but he has never been much to converse with anyone. He has had no contact with anyone other than OW for the past 5-6 years.
Well, Saturday came and went and H must be back in his deep dark cave. He was to call the kids on Sunday but did not. Oh, well.
Our house was to be auctioned today but we have not heard anything about that.
It could be divine intervention.......my friend.....
Could be.....aren't they supposed to notify you right away after the auction? We shall see if the saying, "No news is good news....."
Did you ever get a certified letter from the bank saying that you had to leave by a certain date???
My daughter,her lanlord didnt pay the mortgage and so they came and served her, giving her a date she had to be out..
If you are to this point with the house...I would start moving asap.....
And I thought the auction was after the tenent had moved out???
I am praying for you daily.....Irma
No they do not send certified letters here and you do not have to vacate until a notice is placed on your door. Not even sure if it really went to auction as we did not hear from anyone and that should have happened right away.
Remember, I still have a modification approved on this home which is to begin March 1st.
We'll see.
P.S. They can give you anywhere from 5 days to 40 days to vacate if someone buys the home.
MWG, Sorry for your loss. I don't know how close you 2 were, but a death is always tough to deal with. As for your job, did they give you any reason for your layoff? Any hope for recall? As for the house........ Well, you can stall, but unless you can come up with some money, for payments or otherwise, you won't be able to stay there for long. If you could get some money, you might work something out with the bank, but I know how tough that is for you. I would strongly recommend looking for another place to live..... As for your H.... I really don't know what can be said about that. He is quite comfy in his way of life, he knows you won't do anything, so he doesn't have to make any decisions, so why should he? I have watched this situation for a LONG TIME, and I can tell you that this man has had it VERY EASY in so many different ways. His OW allows him to be unemployed, shiftless, lazy, and sorry. I really can't figure out why she keeps him around. LOL His wife on the other hand is content with these arrangements as you have made no legal moves in 6 years! LOL Well, in all honesty, why would this man change? MWG, this is your life and its your business what you do with it, but if you don't change, he won't change. I know you a spiritual person and prayer is important to you, but I am a FIRM believer that GOD helps those who help themselves.
Hi, All!!
The auction on the house was postponed as they approved us for the trial modification. Believe me, it is much cheaper then renting an apartment! As a result we are still in the house.
I think I told you I was laid off once again, along with a few hundred other employees. Still looking for work.
I've got one child coming home for the summer in about five weeks, another leaving for the summer June 3rd, and my son will be here all summer.
H is still in contact with the kids....talks to them for at least an hour at a time. He expressed interest in finding a job as well. Says he is having difficulty sleeping at night, stays up late anyways.......all this from the kids.
I'm over here doing my own thing, filling out massive amounts of paperwork for colleges, etc. It's like a full time job!!
I am doing okay though!!
I'm glad you are doing ok MWG.
Life is obviously giving you some serious punches but you are one very strong lady and I know you'll pull through it again.
What is it that they are doing about the house?
The house...it was in foreclosure and it was to be auctioned off in February but all of that was postponed as they approved us for a trial modification for three months. Have made the first two payments and have one more to go on May 1st. If I don't have a job by then, I am going to attempt to request another three months as I can make the house payments. We'll see.........I had a job when it was approved the first time. I have to provide updated info in May such as salary information but since I lost my job, that is a problem.
Oh my! Do you have any feelers out on jobs? Are they as scarce there as they are here?
I've been working with an agency and on my own and jobs are scarce. My mom even commented about the jobs as she was looking for me just in case I missed something.....nothing yet...it takes a long time but I will be okay probably thru the summer if I don't get one by then.
Phoenix is a horrible, horrible market for jobs, foreclosures....they don't expect things to turn around for at least 4-5 years.
It used to take me less than one week to find a job. Not anymore, but then again, I was much younger at that time and now I am over 50. Not an ideal age to be job hunting as they prefer to hire younger employees.
UGH!
Yeah, that sounds like here too. There are lots of jobs posted but the companies are either hiring extreme part time (like 10 hours a week) or they are not willing to hire anyone over 25!
Happy 4th Everyone!!
Just checking in.
Nothing really new to report.
I am in and out of temp assignments and the kids are okay.
H is still living at ow's but a funny thing has happened in the last 10 days. She went to visit her relatives in South Dakota and drove out there with her daughter and grandkids. From what I hear, she has not been in contact with H---now that is a first.
And he is not calling me but the kids speak to him. He is on the phone with each kid for hours at a time (even before ow left, it was like this.)
The only thing I do not approve of is when he tells one kid that the other is a pathological liar, will not move back home because he does not want to be around someone like that, and disapproves of the condition of the house....stuff that needs fixing that I cannot do. I have had to call a plumber out a few times, and I have had my share of very expensive car repairs.
That's about all here.......just taking it all one day at a time.
Wow! Your H is a real yo yo, i.e. back and forth. You have extreme patience. I applaud you.
Hang in there. One day at a time is the best way.
mmf
Well, he has not even been to the house in two years now and I have not seen him in one year. I just live my life (this does not mean dating and partying) and I have my friends and do things for me.
MY kids still have never met OW. My son, a few months ago, told his dad that he wanted to meet OW....there was every excuse given under the sun for my S not to meet her like, she is not feeling well, or I have to run it by her........my son just gave it up,
Good heavens! MWG, I hate to even say it but it has become so blatant in the last 2 years especially that he has serious mental problems. It's so sad to hear about, especially with the way it hurts the kids.
He won't let his own kids meet the OW? How does he think that looks? Gee, is he ashamed of her or something?
I agree MWG, why wont he let the kids meet her? You would think she would want to meet them.
MWG, it does sound like he is embarassed of the OW or what he is doing or both.
Hi Mishka and kissak!
Good heavens! MWG, I hate to even say it but it has become so blatant in the last 2 years especially that he has serious mental problems. It's so sad to hear about, especially with the way it hurts the kids.
He won't let his own kids meet the OW? How does he think that looks? Gee, is he ashamed of her or something?
The strange thing about this is that my kids tell me he has sounded better in the last year then he has in a very long time because he cut out the alcohol. They said he sounds normal and he talks and makes much sense.
They tell me he dominates the conversations with discussions about the Bible and they just sit back and mainly listen to him talk.
What can I say? I am just telling you what my kids have told me.
MWG, it does sound like he is embarassed of the OW or what he is doing or both.
Hi Mishka and kissak!
He knows he is guilty and yes, ashamed of what he is doing so much that he will not let them meet her.
I kind of think it is funny. Just goes to show this R would never last in the public eye since they have no money to do things.
Last week, my bedroom door was closed and my son asked why it was closed if I was in the living room and I teased and said I had someone in there. Boy, did he not like that!
H has had no contact with his family since his mom died in February.
He has only talked to our youngest once since that time but talks to the other two.
He does not like talking to the youngest because she does not put up with crap and tells it the way she sees it to him. She is almost 18 so it is not like he is talking to a small child. I am glad she says what is on her mind, though.
A little different perspective here. My H's ow hates it when H spends time with his kids. She is very threatened by it. She does not want any part of H's past to interfere with their present.
A little different perspective here. My H's ow hates it when H spends time with his kids. She is very threatened by it. She does not want any part of H's past to interfere with their present.
Yes, this OW used to hate with a passion that he was spending time with the family and me! She does not really know me but hates my guts as well.
But that is all fixed now. He has no car that runs, I removed the ins. from the car because of that, he has not had a job in three years and he has no money. He is all hers now....goody for her!
Sounds like you might be getting a little tougher, good for you!
Hey MMF! Good to see you buddy!
Sorry for the hijack MWG.
Definitely tougher MWG, good for you. There is no reason to be treated the way he treats you.
I'm honestly not sure why you are still M'd to him, but that's none of my business. Just curious is all.
Hey MMF! Good to see you buddy!
Sorry for the hijack MWG.
Definitely tougher MWG, good for you. There is no reason to be treated the way he treats you.
I'm honestly not sure why you are still M'd to him, but that's none of my business. Just curious is all.
I have had so much stress in my life the last 5+ years and continue to struggle with some health issues.
I weighed out the pros and cons and getting a D would cost me $$$ and I would get nothing out of it because he does not work. I want to keep my stress level lower than what it could be which isn't saying much.
Gotcha. It's not a matter of holding on the the M, it's now more a matter of the pros and cons. Makes absolute sense to me. Just like people say M is justa piece of paper, so is D.
As the days/years go by, my kids are behaving worse and worse. It is as if I cannot do anything right, I do not buy the right groceries, I am lazy (have had terrible backaches which prevent me from standing for more than 15 minutes at a time), and I am very, very tired.
Of course kids refuse to believe that I have been under so much stress and yes, the house will go into foreclosure sometime soon. Again. Did the trial modification but did not have a job when all was said and done. And H does not have any intention of getting a job.
OMG! But the don't think you're under any stress. Well, they can get out and live on their own and see what stress is!
So 2 went to visit his dad yesterday. Right as he was leaving he told me his dad had called him and asked if S could bring over some toilet paper because h had run out and he had no vehicle or money either.
OW was out of town for two weeks and came back lastnight.
In the meantime, my son said there was no food left in the fridge and freezer, just some ice pops, and h looked really, really awful, and he was also experiencing some anxiety.
So S gets home after 8PM and OW was not there yet but S told me that his dad thinks I am a liar that I am lying about my job being on hold and that he doubts this. I got really mad and told S that I have had enough...he can have names and numbers if he wants to see for himself and furthermore, I told him I would not permit him to use my car to go see his dad. He said I could not stop him from seeing him and I said no but he would have to find another way or H would have to find a way.
Life is really peachy over there....lol! Running out of toilet paper and food....
Oops, S went to visit his dad.....
MWG, Would it matter if you took your XH to verbally speak to your employer? What difference would any of it make? Would he change? Why do you care what he thinks? Honestly, here is a guy who has no means of wiping his own rear-end trying to tell someone he "doubts" things about your job being on hold. LOL MWG, I think you are surrounded by stressful situations and they are caused by the people in your life. Your children really need to experience life a little bit. What I mean by that is, they need to find jobs and live on their own a bit, then they can talk to you about groceries and keeping a roof over head. You need to try to find some peace. Living the way you have been for these years hasn't given you any and I doubt that you will find it continuing to live like this.
I've been playing catch up this morning and saw your posting. I'm sorry that the stress level in your home hasn't decreased.
As for providing the bare essentials to your h, I would be very hesitant to do so. He's made his bed and he needs to grow up and understand that your family is not responsible for providing him with his essentials. The day he walked out would have been the end of such things. I understand where you are coming from and also see the way that he is using your children to get information. It's not good and I feel for you. Your children do not see how he's playing them.
As for the comments about you being a liar, your son should never have repeated it to you. Your h needs to hit bottom in all areas of his life to realize just what a good family he had, but walked away from. This man is still expecting you and your children to take care of him. Cut the apron strings and leave him to fend for himself. You've got more than enough on your plate just taking care of yourself and your children.
Hello, all!
I do hope things are getting better for everyone, and for those suffering illness, I am praying for you!
Here's the lowdown:
D17 spent the summer in Boston and is now living there full time. She is in very good hands, living with my sister in law and her husband. D17 will complete her senior year of high school there and also establish residency at the same time as she plans on attending college there in one year. I think this is a very positive move for her.
D19 will be leaving to go back to college in South Carolina in one week.
S20---Got a call yesterday morning at 4AM...he was pulled over for DUI. I did not know he was gone until 1AM and kept trying to call and call since he is not permitted to take the car, esp. at that hour.
The police released him, a friend of his brought him home, my daughter and I went to get my car yesterday morning as it was parked on a side street about 1 1/2 miles from here.
Sine he violated his probation, it appears as though he will have to spend 2-5 years in prison.
He has a court date in one week, and I do not know how many more before they sentence him.
I am still looking for work, still not feeling well, and am exhausted.
That is the latest.
Oh heavens MWG.
So sorry you are facing so much going on. I don't have any words to help, but I am thinking of you and praying for you.
Take care!
Oh gosh, MWG, so sorry to hear about your S. I really hope this is a wake up call for him to straighten his life out. It's so sad that his F is such a poor example to him. It makes me cry to see this happen to your S. Hopefully, he won't get such a long sentence, maybe they could make him go to rehab or something, because prison does nothing to help kids like him.
I will pray for you to recover financially and find work, your S, that everything continues to go well for your other kids, and for your H, that he finally reaches out for help.
God bless you, you've been through way too much.
vc
MWG, I and others have talked to you in the past about these things..... First, I'm sorry your son has decided to make some poor choices. I told you back in time that I felt that a little punishment would have done him some good, you didn't feel that way. Your son knew the boundaries of his probation, but yet decided to risk that by doing something foolish. Of all the things, DUI is the dumbest, there are so many avenues for people to get transportation, its really silly to drive intoxicated. He knew that any run-ins with the law would result in jail time and he did it. I think he needs some punishment to show him that he won't be rescued every time he gets into trouble. I really think you have done all you can for your family, I think you have gone above and beyond for everyone. I think its time for you to think about yourself and make a new start for you, that includes your H as well. Get yourself away from this drama and stress.
S20 had his day in court yesterday.
Fines, one day in jail and suspension of his license for one year. I thought for sure he would get more time but he did not.
I wish I could get away from here, BH, but I cannot. Not at this time. No money and no job means I have to stay put.
Your son got off lucky. He will get more time if he continues down this path. I'm sorry he's on this path, but you know the drill, he's got to hit bottom before he'll wise up and begin to float back to the top. He's lost his way and it's going to take some work for him to get back on track. His father isn't any help to him and that's unfortunate as he needs his father now more than ever.
I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
S20 is going into rehab. We are working out the details and he will be going out of state and he will be there for a minimum of 1 year.
I am glad he is going to rehab. He has to see that he would have a long life of hell if he went down the same path as his F. My F was an alcoholic, so I see what it can do to the next generation. I have a sister who I believe is an alcoholic, though she has denied it. My F was never able to have normal relationships with his family. It's like the alcohol damaged that part of him. I loved him dearly, and I know he loved me, but I could always see that something was missing in him. He quit drinking, but that part of him never recovered. So, I am glad your S is getting help from rehab at a relatively young age, before it does permanent damage to him.
God bless you and your family
vc
Rehab is only effective if HE WANTS TO DO BETTER..... Not sure he does, but I guess we will see. I hope things improve for you, I really do, but I don't think they will until you decide to make some changes in your life, and I'm not sure you want to. I mean seriously, we can sit here and give a thousand excuses to why you stay in your situation, but the truth is, it won't change until you make some changes.
i am fine.
H and I are reconciled and we are looking to move into another home in the next few weeks.
Great news! I hope everything has been sorted out and you are okay w/this. Please take care of yourself.
Diane so glad to hear you are reconciled...I know this has taken many yrs.and many returns, but I just pray that this time will be the last....you never faltered in your faith of his return in coming home......gives those of us still standing faith that God can move mountains that seem impossible to move...
Be blessed in Jesus name.....so happy for you dear friend....Irma
MWG, Wow, that was a surprise. Please do post more about your situation as you have time!
Amazing news MWG. I have wondered how you were every so often. Please update when you get a chance. God Bless you and your family.
vc
MWG,
PTL - I hesitate to come to this site for various reasons...today I came anyway and was only going to look up on two threads...your's was one of them.
God will bless you and He has.
Snowmm
MWG, I sincerely hope that your H's return is genuine and that he has seen the error of his ways and wants to do the right thing for you and his family. I do hope his return is not the result of problems with the OW and he has no other place to go. He's done that to all of you many times in the past.
Sure has been awhile but wanted to update you all.
I am doing great!!
My son is going well and is getting a nice promotion at work.
My #2 is home for a little while and then headed to PA to visit family.
My #3 graduated from high school tonight back east but I was not able to be there.
I filed for divorce and we are on friendly terms.
I am fine with this, and am very happy to be able to move on with my life and other interests.
Hope you all are hanging in there.
I'm sorry to come here today and see that things did not work out for you and your h. But, you can honestly say that you gave the situation your best shot.
I'm glad to see that all of the children are doing well. What about you? How are you doing?
I am doing okay.....still job searching and I am very happy with things.
Good...as long as you are happy, that is all that matters.
Oh goodness. I didn't know you had filed mwg. Did he go back?
I'm glad to hear you are doing well and are at peace with this.
Many hugs to you my friend!
MWG, Gosh, you have certainly had a long journey.
Care to share some more on this long saga?
Not much to report except that I hung in there and we tried to reconcile a few times, but right about the 6 week point, ow would call and he would be right back over there.
I had to feel comfortable with a divorce ,not when people said I should file. It had to be me. I put my family first because there were issues I had to put above marriage, divorce and felt that the divorce would have been more than any of us could handle.
Another factor into my being happy is I joined a hometown group and as it turns out, a guy whose family is well known and has a good reputation...well he and i hung around with the same group of friends growing up but never knew each other..we started messaging and are surprised that we never met!
We have so much in common, message every day and are up front and honest and communicate. It has been so nice and slow and the honesty has been wonderful.
My gut feelings say this is developing at a very nice pace. And when you are told that your daily messages make someone's day and vice versa...it sure makes you feel good about yourself after going thru so much.
That is pretty much my story these days.
You tried and did the best you could w/a difficult situation. You are absoltuely right, you filed when you felt the time was right and now you are ready to move on.
I am glad to see that you've joined a hometown group and are getting out and about. I'm glad you've met someone and I hope he is there for you and treats you the way that you deserve to be treated.
God has a way of putting us in the right place at the right time. I'm very happy to see that you are doing okay.
Thanks, Snodderly.
It is nice to be able to talk and get to know a person, discover you have much in common and share the same morals/beliefs.
With regard to the D, yes, a person has to do it at the time that is best for them.
I still have issues I have to deal with but this will be a big chip off the shoulder once completed. It's just a straight divorce, no contest type thing. We actually get along pretty good but there are no feelings there between the two of us.
I asked him what illness ow has but he says it is none of my business. She can no longer work. Whatever.......
As for the kids....the girls could care less about their dad. My son still craves that father-son connection but they get along well.
He never talks about ow to the kids and to this day, they still have never met her.
I told him I hope she is elated that I am finally giving them both what they want..
My "friend" did warn me...he said usually when you go thru with a D, they always seem to want you back. No indication of that here...probably because he knows I HAVE moved on.
My "friend" lives out of state but we are in constant contact and it is really nice.
Once the issues have been resolved, you will discover that you will feel so might lighter and be able to turn the focus on to you and your life.
It's good that your children haven't met the ow. It sounds to me like the relationship isn't all that great. If she's ill, she may have cancer or some other disease that keeps her from working. Some day, the answer as to what is wrong w/her will drop in your lap. The reason he's not telling you is because you asked...he thinks he's got one up on you, but he doesn't realize that you really don't care one way or the other.
I know exactly what you are saying about no feeling between you. It's been along time and after all that has taken place, the feelings that you that you now have are the type that you would have for anyone you woudl meet on the street.
Your friend may be right about wanting you back after the divorce, but I would venture to say that is for those who are not experiencing an mlc. My xh never wanted me back and I'm coming up on 10 years for my divorce. Mlc plays out differently than a regular one...sad to say.
I'm glad you have someone that you can talk to. It's good to know that you have someone that you bounce things off of and he sounds very supportive. I wish you all of the best!
MWG,
You can look at this and realize you did your very best. My gosh, you have had tales of R and so on for so long. That is something that I have taken some comfort in--I did my best.
It does make a difference to be in a R where you feel wanted. You will not be sorry that you moved slowly.
Interestingly, your X is in a similar position to mine in terms of dealing with illness.
When all is said and done, I did want to be with X and it was a tremendous loss to me to have him gone from my life. But...bit by bit you pick up the pieces and move on. And you see where you were weak and naive
I am working at cultivating a spirit of gratitude for all that I have in my life now, and for all that I have been given. I was fortunate that I had good times with my X. I am also fortunate that he is gone.
As far as being wanted again by X, I don't think my X would ever admit that he made a mistake in leaving me and divorcing me.
I still feel that irritate him just by being myself.
I was watching a relationship show tonight and they talked about when you cannot get any closure from someone who betrayed you. The simple answer was to close that door and force yourself to move on. Easier said than done, but wise advice and rational. There has to come to a point where we make beauty out of the ashes.
MWG, I have to give you credit, you went way above and beyond to make this work, often times against the advice of me and others on the board. I agree with your friend, I do expect your H to make a play to keep things as they are. I don't think he will fully commit to you for whatever reason, but I do think he likes the buffer he has with you. I do hope you decide to move on and not come off this position, you deserve it. MWG, you have spent many years in misery over this, you deserve some happiness and you will not have it living the way you have the last 6 years or so. Best of luck to you!!!
Thanks, BH!
I am in a good place right now...happy with the pace part of my life is going. In time, all will fall into place. The only struggle I have now is finding a job.
Soon to be ex and I get along better now that I have said okay, you want this divorce, fine............you know, it is one thing to actually talk about it but to go thru with it is entirely different. I just don't care anymore.
He does know I have moved on and am looking forward to my time after the D.
I filed, he is not contesting...all is fine there.
Hi, everyone!!!
I hope you are all well and for many I know it's a struggle what you are going thru.
I did not realize how long it has been since my last update.
The D was final almost 2 months ago--can you believe it?????
Am I sad--no, not at all!!!
I am just so relieved and honestly, I am in a very happy place right now. Sure, I am still looking for a job but I never thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
There is a guy -- yes--but he lives in my hometown. We are in contact everyday and it has been the best...many of my friends who still live back there know him well and it's been such a wild time. We are the same age, used to run around with the same group of people but we never knew each other growing up!!!
My uncle knew his father so its not like he is a stranger...and my parents were just back there for a visit and visiting just two blocks from where he lives. He even told me to give them his number in case they needed anything.
So yeah, we email, we text, he called me from the NASCAR race he attended...there are ILY's said back and forth, its been really nice and best of all--a lot of talking about everything you can imagine.
Or we'll watch the same shows and text back and forth. My youngest laughs and says I am text dating.
My girls are doing great.
The youngest began her first year of college in Boston and she also works as a CNA. My middle child is still in South Carolina, 3rd year of college and she is doing fine. My son is still working and does well at his job.
Like I said--I am so relieved and happy. Life is good but has its bumps in the road along the way.
MWG,
I'm very happy to come here and see that you posted an update. I am glad to read that your divorce has been finalized and it's behind you. I'm sure that huge elephant on your shoulders is now gone.
I can't believe how quickly time has flown! Both girls in college and your son working. I'm very happy for all of your children. You have a lot to be proud of.
You went through a lot of drama and you did the best you could for a very long time. I always admired you for standing as long as you did. Now it is time for you to spread your wings and fly!
Please stay in touch!
That's wonderful!!!! I didn't know there was a guy....ooooo, fun!
MWG: Gosh, you gave it your best for such a long time. I am glad that you are happy now.
I am always curious to know what the situation is w/the MLCer?
The ex
He is still unemployed and lives in another room of this house. This house belongs to my ex-FIL, and my son also lives here as well.
The ex and I get along but it is like living with a stranger...we do not eat together, sit together or watch tv together....nothing at all and I have no feelings at all toward him.
Ex still thinks he has done no wrong, thinks nothing has affected the kids at all.
What do the kids think? Son loves his dad...D2 does not see eye to eye with him and D3 says she could care less if she ever sees or speaks to him ever again.
Ex does not call her and he rarely talks to D2.
He has not seen OW since January!!
Funny, I asked him just yesterday why OW does not come by and pick him up to go out and he said she is unemployed and has no money. I said to him, who needs money to see each other...then he got ticked off at me for asking.
He knows about my guy friend. Just knows he exists but nothing more.
Oh gees! I didn't realize he still was in the house and that he wasn't seeing OW now. It sounds like you have turned it into a liveable situation though. Good for you!
Well there is still the same OW it is just that they have not seen each other due to finances. They still talk and text like always and she lives about 20 minutes from here. She is not working any longer due to illness so she lives with her daughter.
I wish he would go live with them again. He says they have no room for him over there.
Its so odd. If my BF lived in town, of course I would see him and it would not have to be going on a date. It's bizarre just like it always has been.
MWG, What are you thinking in terms of moving away? It sounds like a difficult situation, to live w/your X. You have certainly had a hard time w/unemployment.
I am sorry to hear that X destroyed R w/at least one child.
The strange thing is I have very little interaction with X.
It is difficult because of the job situation. I do have some goals in mind. I need to be able to get a job here first, then I can start taking some trips to the midwest which is where I am from and it would be to my hometown. Then you just never know if its meant to be and I can find something there eventually, who knows. My "friend" would love to move out here.
Whatever X had with his daughters it is no longer the same. Both do not have much respect for him. One of them talks to him but not often and the youngest who could care less, she will talk to him but it doesn't amount to much.
So did you initiate D, or did X?
I'm glad the kids at least have contact.....
I sure did initiate it. I just went out one day and filed the papers, came home and said to him, guess what i filed for divorce. yep i did it and it felt great.
Why is this man living with you after you got divorced? This is crazy, he didn't come around while you guys were married, then you divorced him and he moves in.....?????
Some times you gotta do what you gotta do!
Good for you!
The house is NOT mine and I have nowhere to go.
We have NOTHING going on. I do not cook or clean for him, I have my own room and my own stuff going on. I am unemployed and this is my ex father in law's house. This house situation is a long story because the other house got foreclosed and ex FIL insisted on getting a house for us to live in. It is up to HIM to legally kick out any one of us.
Ex husband was supposed to get a job and find a place for he and his sick GF.
My plan is once I find a job, I am out of here and maybe out of state.
Sometimes you just can't do what you wanna do and the sad thing is many are having to live this same way who have recently divorced.
MWG, I understand...... I wasn't saying you guys were doing anything,
MWG, I understand.... I think.... I wasn't saying you guys were doing anything, just it was and is a crazy situation. I think even you would admit its kind of weird how you fought so hard for your marriage and the XH wouldn't come around, then circumstances find you 2 living together. Why did the XH move out with the OW? He lived with her for years.
He moved out of her place because she had to quit work due to illness. What she has is "non of my business" according to him. She had to move in with her daughter. Too bad he could not have gone to be with them.
Yeah it is weird but we have nothing to do with one another at all other than we share a roof. We don't even hang out in the same room..lol!
Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and to say there is light at the end of OUR tunnel and it's all good. It may take awhile but there is peace, happiness and contentment.
This Christmas I am spending it with two of my kids here in AZ. My youngest will come in January for a few days.
My relationship with my hometown friend continues to grow and it's been great!
I was recently offered an opportunity to move to my hometown as I have a girlfriend who has to move her mom into her house and she asked if I wanted to move in, fully furnished. She said she would try to pull some connections on getting me a job and I have no vehicle but she said her parents car is still there. Its an oldie..a Mercury. That ought to be interesting, esp. since I have never driven in wintry weather!
And one of the best things about this is, it is just 2 blocks from "my guy friend's" house.
God works in mysterious ways......I got really lucky this time. He is a great guy.
Never give up or lose hope....things might never be the same but you will find that peace and happiness once again.
Merry Christmas to you too!
I'm glad that you have found your silver lining in the dark clouds. You sound more relaxed and ready to move. Go for it! I'm very happy that things have turned out well for you. God does work in mysterious ways.
Take care of yourself! Enjoy the holidays w/your children.
Thank you, Snodderly. Merry Christmas to you, too!!
Wow! Merry Christmas indeed!
Wonderful opportunities, wonderful prospects for a bright future!
So happy things are falling into place for you. It's about time!
Sounds like a great opportunity for you! I hope you decide to go, as I think a change would benefit you very much!
Yes,as it stands now, I am going in March. I cannot believe this..its like everything is falling into place...so hard to believe.
I was thinking of you today Diane ...so glad you are doing well...God has a plan for all of us....sometimes not when we want "THE PLAN" but he knows when....we have come such a long long way since we found this site...God has been right by our sides the whole time and I am so thankful for that...
You have inspired me so many times,given me hope and encouraged me when I needed it....I Thank you for that from the bottom of my heart you and Yellowrose were and are always in my heart.
We lost Cindy but her words are still in my heart...
God bless you and thanks for the update.....as for me still STANDING God hasn't released me yet..I ask him to, but I still hear him saying to wait..to be still.I have to listen and obey him, but I do pray that he will listen to my prayer and send someone new my way I am so ready.......but only God knows when that time will come.....take care Irma
I have to be honest and say that what has happened to me was out of the blue and I was not expecting it.
Things happen when you least expect it.
All I can say is be patient and in time, things start to come together.
MWG,
Very wise words to live by. You can't rush the process and yes, things do happen when you least expect them to.
Happy New Year! You have a lot to look forward to in the new year and I'm very happy for you!
Just by chance I came on tonight, I am so so happy to hear your news MWG, may 2013 bring you joy,peace and happiness. I think its long overdue.
Once we let go we have so many doors opening and so many blessings.
I just came on here to look around to see who was posting at the end of last year and the start of this new one, and, MWG, I am so glad to hear of your good news. I have said a few prayers for your situation to improve, and I am happy to see they are starting to do so. I feel sorry for your husband, that he is just really a lost soul. He made of his life what he thought he wanted, and now he has to live it.
I really hope 2013 brings you all the things you have deserved and hoped for.
vc
Just checking in.
I am officially moving to IL the end of May. I have my plane ticket and right now, just getting things in order, making lists, keeping busy with my little home business which consists of making Greek pastries and candies for people who request these items.
I cannot wait to move on....been a long time coming and I am so excited for the next chapter in my life.
Sounds like you've got things in hand. You have every right to be excited about your next chapter. Youv'e been through a lot the last few years and it's not time for you to enjoy life once again.
Congratulations and I hope everything works out for you. May is right around the corner and it will be here before you know it.
Take care of yourself!