Help! Have an urgent question! - 10/20/08 10:45 PM
Hello, all. It's been a while since I've posted. Hope that some of you who've followed my sitch will see this.
H is still pushing D. Mediation was supposed to be Aug. 27 with a Sept. 4th trial date, but got rescheduled. Now trial date is Nov. 3, with mediation set for this Wednesday, Oct. 22.
H and I sat down together on Aug. 21 to try to work out some issues before going to mediation. We talked and negotiated for 3 hours. I got a little emotional a couple of times, and we did argue a little, but overall I thought it went well. Agreed on some things, compromised on some things, agreed to discuss some things further. Then at the end said he needed to "sleep on it" and "crunch the numbers." Of course, I knew that meant "get permission from the bimbo."
When he emailed me the next day, his offer was very different from what he and I had talked about. I never responded to his email because it was ridiculous. H found out later that afternoon that the mediation and trial had been postponed, he blew up, and I didn't talk to him for a couple of weeks. When he asked a few weeks later why I never responded to his offer, I told him I didn't see the point because it was nothing like what we had talked about, and those negotiations had just been a big waste of my time.
It wasn't like what we came up with at the end of 3 hours was my opening offer. What I had agreed to at the end of those 3 hours was the result of 3 hours worth of negotiations!!!
Now that mediation has been rescheduled, he's all of a sudden panting to sit down and talk to me first. He sent me an email last Friday (the 10th). In it he was trying to get out of going to mediation at all, saying he didn't have the money to pay for it right now, and he and I should sit down together to figure things out because he didn't see his financial situation improving anytime soon.
I actually didn't see that email for a couple of days and never responded to it. I've seen him a couple of times since then and he never mentioned it. My FIL thinks that H or the bimbo are worried that I'll get a better deal out of mediation and that's why he's trying to avoid it.
I don't think I will get a a better deal out of mediation than I could guilt out of H, but the problem is that H will agree to things and then back off as soon as bimbo hears about it, so what's the point? It seems like a waste of my time.
Just now he sent me a text message saying, "Are we going to talk before Mediation?"
My MIL thinks I should, just to see what he says. My FIL thinks I shouldn't. I'm not sure. One problem is that I truly don't have any free time this evening or tomorrow evening, so H would have to take off some time tomorrow or Wednesday morning, and I seriously doubt he would do that.
What do you guys think? How should I respond? Any suggestions?
H is still pushing D. Mediation was supposed to be Aug. 27 with a Sept. 4th trial date, but got rescheduled. Now trial date is Nov. 3, with mediation set for this Wednesday, Oct. 22.
H and I sat down together on Aug. 21 to try to work out some issues before going to mediation. We talked and negotiated for 3 hours. I got a little emotional a couple of times, and we did argue a little, but overall I thought it went well. Agreed on some things, compromised on some things, agreed to discuss some things further. Then at the end said he needed to "sleep on it" and "crunch the numbers." Of course, I knew that meant "get permission from the bimbo."
When he emailed me the next day, his offer was very different from what he and I had talked about. I never responded to his email because it was ridiculous. H found out later that afternoon that the mediation and trial had been postponed, he blew up, and I didn't talk to him for a couple of weeks. When he asked a few weeks later why I never responded to his offer, I told him I didn't see the point because it was nothing like what we had talked about, and those negotiations had just been a big waste of my time.
It wasn't like what we came up with at the end of 3 hours was my opening offer. What I had agreed to at the end of those 3 hours was the result of 3 hours worth of negotiations!!!
Now that mediation has been rescheduled, he's all of a sudden panting to sit down and talk to me first. He sent me an email last Friday (the 10th). In it he was trying to get out of going to mediation at all, saying he didn't have the money to pay for it right now, and he and I should sit down together to figure things out because he didn't see his financial situation improving anytime soon.
I actually didn't see that email for a couple of days and never responded to it. I've seen him a couple of times since then and he never mentioned it. My FIL thinks that H or the bimbo are worried that I'll get a better deal out of mediation and that's why he's trying to avoid it.
I don't think I will get a a better deal out of mediation than I could guilt out of H, but the problem is that H will agree to things and then back off as soon as bimbo hears about it, so what's the point? It seems like a waste of my time.
Just now he sent me a text message saying, "Are we going to talk before Mediation?"
My MIL thinks I should, just to see what he says. My FIL thinks I shouldn't. I'm not sure. One problem is that I truly don't have any free time this evening or tomorrow evening, so H would have to take off some time tomorrow or Wednesday morning, and I seriously doubt he would do that.
What do you guys think? How should I respond? Any suggestions?