15 years - 02/04/19 02:36 AM
My wife and I have been married for 15 years and together for 16 years. We have two boys, 10 and 8. She also has a strong family history of mental illness and has delt with depression for years. She was diagnosed as bipolar just over a year ago. She appears to be taking her medications. We have had our issues over the years like most. We have had 3 big blow ups in 15 years. In the first 2 blow ups I mention divorce and suicide. I had no intentions doing either but stupidly used them for empathy. (Had separation issues as a kid as my mom left my dad who was a truck driver so we were raised by babysitters). So she is routinely unhappy about everything... from her job to the kids school to life in general. She would mention this and I relayed to her it’s life and everyone hates there job to everyone wants their kids in a better school, etc. She recently came to me and said she wants a permit separation and that she was getting her own apartment. She has said the most meanest things she has ever said to me in our 15 years. I have tried to talk to her before I read the Divorce Remedy book. She also read it and said that book is nothing more than manipulation and that it is wrong. Every time we talk everything is my fault. She takes no responsibility for anything in the relationship. I have apologized time and time again and I have started counseling by myself as she refuses to go to marriage or individual counseling. She said it’s because no one is going to blame her as she feels she has tried for 15 years. So I am the only one trying to save this. She gives me a little hope and takes it away just as quick. I recently found paperwork from a attorney and when I asked her if I would be getting divorce papers once she is in her apartment she said she isn’t promising anyone anything. I did not tell her I saw the paperwork. When she told the kids about her apartment she said it wasn’t a divorce, although 2 days prior to that she paid a 3k retainer. Her support system are her parents who have hated me for the entire time we have been together and a female friend who is divorced. Clearly I’m a wreck and doing all I can.
W42 M44
W42 M44