Help with detaching/responding - 11/15/18 07:45 PM
I've found the DB approach to really resonate with me and I'm working hard to stop my pursuing behaviors. The questions I have right now are:
1) I'm working on not texting/emailing/calling her during the day, but we have 2 youngish kids and I am frequently needing to make contact about kid logistics. Does this still come off as pursuing? How do I get around this?
2)I'm not going to say "i love you" again, but she said it to me the other night (after an awkward semi-date that was tense and awkward because I was not in my right mind) and I didn't respond- but now panicky that I did the wrong thing by not reciprocating?
Background: married 11 years, 2 kids. In CC 4 years ever since she came forward saying she was "disconnected" from me, which turned into confessing to an EA, which, 3 weeks ago she admitted was a PA (claims they had sex only once and has had only professional contact since then. I made her send an email to AP saying she wants no contact which she quickly agreed to) It's very confusing for me becuase she shows up to therapy (we've been in it 4 years!!!) but has been lying/deceiving/distancing the whole time.
Help is much appreciated.
1) I'm working on not texting/emailing/calling her during the day, but we have 2 youngish kids and I am frequently needing to make contact about kid logistics. Does this still come off as pursuing? How do I get around this?
2)I'm not going to say "i love you" again, but she said it to me the other night (after an awkward semi-date that was tense and awkward because I was not in my right mind) and I didn't respond- but now panicky that I did the wrong thing by not reciprocating?
Background: married 11 years, 2 kids. In CC 4 years ever since she came forward saying she was "disconnected" from me, which turned into confessing to an EA, which, 3 weeks ago she admitted was a PA (claims they had sex only once and has had only professional contact since then. I made her send an email to AP saying she wants no contact which she quickly agreed to) It's very confusing for me becuase she shows up to therapy (we've been in it 4 years!!!) but has been lying/deceiving/distancing the whole time.
Help is much appreciated.