180's with intimacy - Need advice please - 09/13/14 10:34 AM
I dont know how to write this.. I have written it like 6 times already and keep deleting.
So H and I have been S for 7 months. We have come to a place where we are communicating better and its friendly when we have drop off and pick up. There has been talk of catching up for lunch but no follow through as yet.
H has now told me how much intimacy was a problem in our marriage and he's right. I was wanting more love and communication for there to be more intimacy and he was waiting for more intimacy to give more love and communication.
Anyway my 180 on this would be to give him the intimacy without what I wanted happening first.
My H has now said that he is willing to fill my "needs" but only on a physical level and that this is not a way to get back together.
So he is willing to be intimate which I think is MASSIVE!
From everything he has said, I do think that this could be what brings us back together because he told me in the same conversation where he said we could be intimate that intimacy bonds people together.
I know he said that this is purely a physical thing but should I just ignore that because it could just be a defence to protect himself? He talks about us not getting back together often, whenever we move forward in something, he quickly reminds me. Other times he says things like "if we do get back together" this and that will happen or "if you do come back then things will be hard for you"
Sounds to me that he has had thoughts about getting back together but he still has a lot of hurt and anger. So perhaps the intimacy will be helpful to give us that closeness we need to deal with the hurt?
What do you think?
Thanks
So H and I have been S for 7 months. We have come to a place where we are communicating better and its friendly when we have drop off and pick up. There has been talk of catching up for lunch but no follow through as yet.
H has now told me how much intimacy was a problem in our marriage and he's right. I was wanting more love and communication for there to be more intimacy and he was waiting for more intimacy to give more love and communication.
Anyway my 180 on this would be to give him the intimacy without what I wanted happening first.
My H has now said that he is willing to fill my "needs" but only on a physical level and that this is not a way to get back together.
So he is willing to be intimate which I think is MASSIVE!
From everything he has said, I do think that this could be what brings us back together because he told me in the same conversation where he said we could be intimate that intimacy bonds people together.
I know he said that this is purely a physical thing but should I just ignore that because it could just be a defence to protect himself? He talks about us not getting back together often, whenever we move forward in something, he quickly reminds me. Other times he says things like "if we do get back together" this and that will happen or "if you do come back then things will be hard for you"
Sounds to me that he has had thoughts about getting back together but he still has a lot of hurt and anger. So perhaps the intimacy will be helpful to give us that closeness we need to deal with the hurt?
What do you think?
Thanks