Do I stay in the same town with WAS and OW? - 06/24/13 04:15 AM
My H told me May 9th that he wanted out of the marriage, we had been become friends, and he wasn't in love anymore. He was thinking about death and afraid of ever being happy before he dies. Would rather live alone than feel this alone on our marriage. We can point to many causes of how we got here. Never reclaimed our relationship after our daughter was born (now 6), MLC, many causes creating a perfect storm. H began an emotional affair with 26 yr old at work who happens to be his former student who got PG in high school and her daughter is a playmate of our daughter. I left town for the summer (we are teachers) and he is pursuing this relationship with OW currently. His vision of the future is that He will get an apartment down the street and my daughter and I will stay in the house with everything the same. He will still walk her to school each morning and read to her some nights and we will be friends. We live in a VERY small town on a reservation. We all work in the schools. I am getting earfuls from the folks back home who see her car at my house 24/7, that she is bragging to other women about how long it will take for her to move in, how he walks her through the neighborhood in front of students and former students. Everyone knows (he believes he is being discreet and not cheating because they are putting the physical on hold until he is divorced).
Do I go back to this town and let him see his vision in it's reality while I GAL or do I leave and spare my daughter the small town talk and taunts on the playground? Can daily contact with her father be a good thing when he is so messed up and making poor choices about what is best for her right now? I know I can take whatever he throws at me, because I am strong now. but what can my daughter take without it messing her up for life while she is developmentally at the stage where she is creating her view on marriage and love.
I am talking with a coach but haven't gotten to this part with him yet. Would appreciate your advise and thoughts on my obligation to my child and chances of DBing success if I leave the town (move 5 hours away).
Do I go back to this town and let him see his vision in it's reality while I GAL or do I leave and spare my daughter the small town talk and taunts on the playground? Can daily contact with her father be a good thing when he is so messed up and making poor choices about what is best for her right now? I know I can take whatever he throws at me, because I am strong now. but what can my daughter take without it messing her up for life while she is developmentally at the stage where she is creating her view on marriage and love.
I am talking with a coach but haven't gotten to this part with him yet. Would appreciate your advise and thoughts on my obligation to my child and chances of DBing success if I leave the town (move 5 hours away).