Hope or no hope.... - 04/08/14 01:19 AM
Hi all,
Newbie from the UK. Love the site. Has given me hope reading some of the posts and advice.. or is it false expectations.
Need some help if anyone is interested. I'll put in bullet point form and then explain further if people have questions. Sorry if it’s really long.
- Dated partner 11 years; married nearly three before she told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me back in October
- lived with her and our only daughter (10) until new years to have a final xmas together
- we slept together twice in that time but second time we both said it didn't feel right. Still shared a bed that whole time.
- we have split twice before. First time after two years was her decision. I was an idiot. Didn't take care of myself physically etc Then she took me back. Then a few years later I messed around texting other girls before it was me who dumped her. My mum had died a few weeks before hand and my head was messed up. We got back together within 18 months and life was perfect. We got married two years later.
- I promised to get act my together. Got a great new job but it was night shift but lost over two stone and really taking care of myself. (She told me only last week that I was looking the best I’ve ever looked.)
- But my work affected our relationship. She warned me we were passing ships but I was more concerned with securing our financial future. I was tired at weekends. I never made ‘us’ time. She started going out with her sister towards the end and that was when she told me.
- After the split I cried, pleaded, got angry etc but for last two months I’ve read comments on this site ie don’t be clingy, don’t text, be courteous and helpful when needed with regard to daughter.
- We now have a great relationship ie her comment about how I looked last week, could I lift my top up to see if I had a six pack, we talked today for 25 minutes about our daughter. She texts me a few days a week but mainly about daughter.
- We’ve been for the odd Burger King meal etc with daughter to make things seem normal and promised to take her shopping soon for clothes for the summer.
- I know were I went wrong. I didn’t make her feel like we were together. We didn’t go out enough as a couple. She did say she didn’t want to be a boring house wife. She also said at the time that maybe she was going through what I went through after my mum died. No one has died on her but her dad is sick and she is the same age I was when I split with her. I also know she texted a few guys after we split but while I was still at home but is adamant she never cheated. I believe her.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ve left loads out but I want to know what you guys think. Is there hope? What should I do? Continue looking after myself and hope? She hasn’t mentioned divorce. Still uses my surname. Don’t know what to do.
Thanks all!
Newbie from the UK. Love the site. Has given me hope reading some of the posts and advice.. or is it false expectations.
Need some help if anyone is interested. I'll put in bullet point form and then explain further if people have questions. Sorry if it’s really long.
- Dated partner 11 years; married nearly three before she told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me back in October
- lived with her and our only daughter (10) until new years to have a final xmas together
- we slept together twice in that time but second time we both said it didn't feel right. Still shared a bed that whole time.
- we have split twice before. First time after two years was her decision. I was an idiot. Didn't take care of myself physically etc Then she took me back. Then a few years later I messed around texting other girls before it was me who dumped her. My mum had died a few weeks before hand and my head was messed up. We got back together within 18 months and life was perfect. We got married two years later.
- I promised to get act my together. Got a great new job but it was night shift but lost over two stone and really taking care of myself. (She told me only last week that I was looking the best I’ve ever looked.)
- But my work affected our relationship. She warned me we were passing ships but I was more concerned with securing our financial future. I was tired at weekends. I never made ‘us’ time. She started going out with her sister towards the end and that was when she told me.
- After the split I cried, pleaded, got angry etc but for last two months I’ve read comments on this site ie don’t be clingy, don’t text, be courteous and helpful when needed with regard to daughter.
- We now have a great relationship ie her comment about how I looked last week, could I lift my top up to see if I had a six pack, we talked today for 25 minutes about our daughter. She texts me a few days a week but mainly about daughter.
- We’ve been for the odd Burger King meal etc with daughter to make things seem normal and promised to take her shopping soon for clothes for the summer.
- I know were I went wrong. I didn’t make her feel like we were together. We didn’t go out enough as a couple. She did say she didn’t want to be a boring house wife. She also said at the time that maybe she was going through what I went through after my mum died. No one has died on her but her dad is sick and she is the same age I was when I split with her. I also know she texted a few guys after we split but while I was still at home but is adamant she never cheated. I believe her.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ve left loads out but I want to know what you guys think. Is there hope? What should I do? Continue looking after myself and hope? She hasn’t mentioned divorce. Still uses my surname. Don’t know what to do.
Thanks all!